Things were absolutely not okay.

Scar didn't look up at the footsteps slowly approaching, staying in his curled up position on the jungle floor, not caring that it was barely lit up and the monsters were slowly starting to emerge.
Let them come, he thought.
Let them come.

Maybe then he'd be able to escape just how numb he felt. Feel something for a change, even it was pain. At least he'd feel something.
It was as if his body decided it was so exhausted from feeling everything that it wanted some peace and quiet for a change. Left him feeling 3 inches to the left and apathetic. Empty. People weren't people anymore- rather an amalgamation of shapes that masqueraded as his friends.
It was all just...shapes.

Everyone was relying on him- he was the only one who could read fae runes, he was the only one who could protect them, he was the only one who could open the faerie ring.
Everything was on his shoulders and he was crumbling under the weight.
He couldn't take it anymore and he still found himself plowing onward because he needed to. He needed to fix his mistakes.

But damn, was it hard to do when there's 20 or so people staring you down at all times.

It was as if Scar was on a stage, forced to perform in a play he never signed up for- he never even got the script and was expected to know what to do.
Like he was being watched at all times- no watched wasn't the right word. Judged.
Scar felt like he was being judged at all times, forced to know rules he didn't understand.

His finger traced patterns in the dirt. His eyes followed a brave little worm squirming away. He did not look up at the footsteps approaching.

"Scar?" The footsteps grew closer, stopping behind him. He heard Xisuma sit down behind him, picking up a stick and fidgeting with it.
"Iskall said you were down here."

He didn't reply. What would he have said?
No words felt right in his mouth so he held them all back. Let the well of words run dry for once.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Scar stopped tracing patterns, the silence stretching as he struggled for the right sentence to say.
"I'm sorry for not being enough."

"What?"

"I'm sorry for not being enough. For not knowing enough. Not skilled enough. Whatever made you feel like I should leave, I'm sorry for not being good enough for your standards." He said.
His voice was clearly strained, hiccuping as he tried to hold back tears. "I'm sorry for not being good enough."

"Scar that wasn't what I-"

"Then what did you mean? Why did you say that if you didn't mean it? You have no idea what position I'm in, so don't try to make that situation better by backpedaling. Just say what you want and leave me be." He snapped, words coming out in a rushed mess, angry, frustrated tears streaming down his face. "Please." Scar added, his voice so much quieter and broken, a soft and shattered whimper lose into the night.
"I can't do this, X. I can't. Already it's just Me, Doc, Iskall, Stress, and False going. Everyone else got scared off by the meeting earlier.
"And if- if something happens to any of them, I...I wouldn't forgive myself. You wouldn't forgive me- you made that clear earlier."

Xisuma's shoulders slumped as he listened to Scar. What words would make this better? It wasn't like he could fix everything with a wave of his hand, pretend Scar didn't cross a line none of them had prepared for. He felt powerless.
And well. If he felt powerless, he could only imagine what Scar felt.

"What I said was wrong of me to say. I didn't know how hard this has all been on you and I'm sorry for not knowing. I'm sorry all of this has fallen to you and that no one is really able to help out much. I'm sorry that I failed you- both as a leader and as a friend." He said, his words soft and hesitant.
"I'm scared too, Scar. I'm worried that I'm going to watch some of my closest friends die. It's selfish of me, but I don't think I could handle anyone dying. I care about you all.
"I'm scared that something will go wrong and I can't help, but I'm scared that if I do go, I'll be a burden, or the people back here will need me. I'm at a loss too, Scar. None of us know what to do, and it was wrong of me to take it all out on you."

Xisuma let the silence stretch though it was a comfortable silence, all tension gone from the air. Their truths were hanging in the wind and it was up to them to accept it.

The founder heard Scar take a deep breath, his hat falling into his lap as he felt the wizards head on his own shoulder, the two sitting back to back, heads looking to the night sky.

"The stars are different here." Scar said finally, his voice barely a whisper. "In my world, there was so many more. Different constellations dotting the sky. We had 2 moons-Aptnos and Lyren."

"It sounds beautiful."

"It was...I miss it."

"When we get Grian and Mumbo back, maybe you can convince G to paint your night sky on the ceiling of Larry." Xisuma suggested. He didn't know why Scar was telling him this, but if it was the wizards way of apologising, he'd take it.

"He paints?"

"Better than most."

"I'll have to ask him to do that for me." Scar smiled bitterly, the last of his tears flowing down the sides of his face and tickling his ears. "If he'll forgive me."

"It's Grian, I'm sure he will. He's probably just as torn up about this all as you are." Scar only hummed in response, letting the moment last for as long as he could make it.

"Xisuma?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you start this realm? Why is it a place for people to run away from their pasts?"

Xisuma took his time to respond, making sure every word was deliberate and meaningful.
"Because everyone deserves a second chance and a place to feel safe."

"Do you think Grian will still see this world as one like that?"

"I don't know. I hope he does, but I can't speak for him myself.
"Any other questions on your mind?" Xisuma asked, but his words were met with only silence. He carefully turned to look at Scar, finding the wizard asleep on his shoulder and he smiled softly as he carried him up to the canopy.
Everyone else was already asleep, and Xisuma set Scar down on the bed in the cabin he scared with Iskall before retreating back to his own.

"Night, Scar."