"Samantha Vera! It's nice to finally meet you!" 

After arriving in New York, I wanted to take a nap with Clyden, but since my body was adjusting and I slept during the flight, I went straight to the agency, leaving Clyden in our hotel room, sleeping. He must be so tired. Hindi siya nakatulog masyado sa byahe at ang tagal pa. 

After the casual introduction, we finally went into the details of our contract. Good thing there were no policies about dating or getting married. They can also get a manager for me, or I could get one from the outside. Wala naman akong kilalang manager pa and I still didn't think that I would need it. I can manage things by myself for now. I wouldn't go to big events immediately, right? I should start from the bottom. 

I requested to be in the Philippines more, but I was also open to international bookings. They said they would contact me because they would still process my papers. The next day, I had to come back for a shoot with them so they could add me to their website and social media accounts. It was my first proper photoshoot, so I was so nervous! 

"Still jet lag?" I asked Clyden when I went home, carrying a box of pizza for him. He was still a little sleepy when I entered the bedroom. Nakadapa siya sa kama at yakap ang unang hinihigaan. "I went to the agency to sign some papers." 

"Why didn't you wake me up?" he asked in his sleepy voice. 

"You look so tired. It's good to rest. I managed by myself naman, so it's good. Here. I bought pizza for you and also ordered steak and wine from room service so we can celebrate!" I placed my bag on the couch and removed my heels. He groaned and got up to go inside the bathroom. 

We were only staying in New York for four days. I allotted enough time for us to go around. Besides, we can come back here next time kapag hindi siya busy. Good thing he already got a VISA beforehand, like me, so he was able to come. His family also traveled a lot. 

He sat on the couch and took a pizza slice while I told him about the contract. He was staring at me while eating and listening carefully. He was like memorizing the details of the contract by the way his face looked. 

"Tomorrow, I'm going to my first ever proper shoot. You can stay here and go around New York, or you can come with me if you want, though it's not necessary. Don't waste your time here following me around," I told him. 

"What do you mean? I came here for you, not because I wanted to go out," he said, rolling his eyes. I laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

I was actually scared of entering this new door all alone, but good thing Clyden was with me all throughout the process of adjusting. He never left my side, even for a moment while the shoot was ongoing. Some people were staring at him not because they were confused about why he was there but because of his looks. His appeal was too strong. Mas bagay 'ata sa kanya ang mag-model kaysa sa 'kin. He had that kind of impact, the one that could make people's heads turn. 

He was watching me, so I felt a little awkward while the shoot was ongoing. He must have noticed, so he turned around and walked away, pretending to admire the studio. I relaxed a bit and did my best so everyone wouldn't be disappointed in accepting me. I learned how to be friends with the camera. 

"Very nice, Samantha! Now try putting on a carefree look," the photographer said. 

The music was really helping in making me feel comfortable. I smiled, I laughed, and I relaxed my body. In between shoots, they would retouch my makeup and make me change my clothes. It felt surreal... All of it. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa nagsi-sink in sa akin. How did I even get here? From not knowing what I wanted to become to actually doing the things I enjoyed?

"Is that your boyfriend?" the make-up artist asked after the shoot. I was putting on my denim jacket inside the dressing room. 

"Yes," I proudly said before getting my bag. "Thank you so much for today." 

"You guys look good together," she said and smiled. I thanked her again and the director before leaving the studio. 

Clyden was already waiting outside for me with his hands inside his pocket. I put my hands around his arm and gave him a cute smile. He looked down at me and kissed my forehead before we walked out of the building. He was telling me to overcome my awkwardness in front of him. He was such a judgmental person! 

Since I was already done with my job, we decided to take a cab to Brooklyn Bridge so we could catch the sunset there and take pictures. As expected, there were so many tourists around. I leaned against the wooden fence and admired my view while Clyden was beside me, taking pictures like a tourist. 

"Have you been to New York before, love?" I asked. 

"Yes," he answered honestly. 

"Then why are you still acting like it's your first time? What a tourist," I teased. 

"It's my first time with you. I don't take pictures when I'm with my family because I don't want to remember the moment," he explained. "But here, I can look at these pictures again and remember that I was here with you once." 

What a sweet-talker. Minsan hindi ko alam kung inuuto niya na lang ako para kiligin ako, e. His words were always so smooth! Ako naman 'tong kinikilig sa mga simpleng ganoon niya. I knew deep inside, he really meant them.

"When I finally get bookings, I'll be busy, especially with international bookings. Are you going to be okay? Are we going to be okay?" I asked him, a little worried. 

We were always together when I was still studying. No matter how busy we were, we always found time to be together, kahit tuwing matutulog lang. I knew I would be busy traveling around if I were lucky enough to land on international bookings. That was the goal, though I wasn't planning to live elsewhere. I wanted to stay in the Philippines and travel when I needed to. 

"Of course, we're going to be okay. It's normal to be busy with our own dreams. The clerkship will also take a lot of my time, but we'll work it out." Clyden looked so calm, like he wasn't even scared of what could happen to us. He was so confident, and so I needed to be like him too. 

We took pictures together before we went to Times Square to watch a Broadway show. Around midnight na kami nakalabas so wala na masyadong tao. We were just walking around until we reached our hotel room. Good thing it was near the area. 

We also had no plans the next day, so we woke up around noon. Our bodies were still adjusting to the time, so we forced ourselves to sleep late last night by doing intimate things. I got off the bed, still a little tired. Pinulot ko ang sweater niya sa sahig at sinuot 'yon with only my underwear underneath. I opened the curtains so he would also get up. 

I ordered room service for our lunch before we took a shower together. We were planning to go to so many places today, but our sexual thoughts were getting in the way. Late na tuloy kaming nakapagbihis. 

"Ayan tuloy! Four na!" I scolded him when we left the hotel room. He intertwined my hand with his and walked beside me. Nag-iba na ang plans namin. Mag-shop na lang daw kami. I didn't even bring that much money with me! 

"Kasalanan mo 'yon. Ikaw 'yong nagmakaawa sa 'kin na isa pa," he blamed me. 

"Excuse me? Nagmakaawa? You're exaggerating. I never said that!" 

Since I didn't have enough money with me, he paid for our expensive dinner after we went shopping. Clothes lang ang binili ko at kaunti lang din because I wanted to start saving already, especially since I wasn't supported by my parents anymore. Hindi pa rin kami nag-uusap nina Mommy. 

"Why do you have so much money with you? You're not working yet," I said while we were eating. He said he wanted to try going to a formal dinner in New York, so we had to wear formal clothes too. 

"Because I'm responsible, and I save a lot from my allowance," he answered, smirking. He looked so proud. "Don't worry, I saved enough for us, too." 

"Feeling ka. Money pa rin 'yan ng parents mo." I laughed and rolled my eyes. He sounded like he was already getting paid. 

"Matagal pa 'ko, eh. Hintay ka lang," maangas na sagot niya sa 'kin. 

"Okay, Doc," I teased again. 

Our New York trip wasn't that productive, but it was fun. A week after we went back to the Philippines, my agency already sent me the photos I could use on my Instagram. I also changed my bio and tagged them. It was such a big moment for me. It was one of the most famous modeling agencies, posting my photos on their social media accounts!

After that, they told me that I finally got local bookings. May photoshoot ako for a makeup brand and a skincare brand. I was so nervous that I had to go to Naomi to ask her for tips. Finally, I was going to get paid for a shoot! 

"Have you already improved your walk?" That was the first thing she asked when she saw me! 

Sinaktuhan ko talaga na wala sina Mommy bago ako pumunta sa mansion. I didn't want to see them yet, even though I was being eaten by guilt after that day. I also hated myself for being like this. Why should I feel bad for defending myself? I shouldn't feel guilty for doing the things I wanted. 

"My walk is improving. Giselle is helping me with it, but she's so busy these days, so I'm working on it by myself," I told her. "I'm not here for the walk. I'm here because... Guess what?! May photoshoot ako! Dalawa!" 

"Oh my gosh!" Her face lit up, and her smile grew. She jumped out of excitement and gave me a hug. "Finally! Congratulations! Let's work on your skills! Come on!" 

She sounded more excited than me! For the whole vacation, my routine was just doing shoots, waiting for another one to come, and doing shoots again. My Instagram followers started to rise up ever since my agency posted my photo and ever since I started endorsing some brands. Giselle also posted a 'welcome to the family' photo of us. 

"What's that?" I asked Clyden when I went home. He was opening a box from a paper bag. It looked like a gift. 

"My dad sent me this," he answered. 

Nilapag ko ang mga gamit ko sa sofa bago ako umupo sa tabi niya. I was also curious about what was inside the box. When he opened it, my mouth formed an 'o.' It was a stethoscope. It looked expensive. 

The note said, 'Good luck with your clerkship.' His dad also had a sweet side, huh? Clyden didn't look so pleased with the note, but he looked glad to receive a stethoscope. Hinawakan niya 'yon at pinagmasdan. 

"Try it. Does it work?" I asked. 

He suddenly laughed at my question. "Does it work? What do you think it is? A toy?" He couldn't help but smile. 

Sinuot niya 'yon sa tenga niya at hinatak ako bigla palapit. He was so close to me when he put the circle one on my chest! I was so shocked I held my breath. I can't believe I would still get nervous whenever he would be this close to me. Would I ever get used to it? 

"Why is your heart beating so fast?" He raised a brow before taking off his stethoscope. He hung it around his neck like a real doctor. He looked good in those. 

"N-no! You heard it wrong!" I held my chest and looked away. 

He laughed again and held my face to give me a kiss. The next week, he had already started his clerkship. I didn't have a shooting schedule that week, so I just stayed at home and practiced cooking. Clyden went home on his first day looking great. His pre-duty was from eight A.M. to five P.M. 

"So, which department are you assigned to now?" I asked while cooking dinner. 

"ENT," he simply answered while taking his white polo off. My mouth formed an 'o' while nodding. It sounded interesting. "I can't go home tomorrow. My duty is from seven A.M. to seven A.M. the next day." 

"It's okay. Make sure to take care of yourself," I told him. It was ironic how their job was to take care of other people, but they couldn't even take care of themselves. I couldn't stay awake for twenty-four hours! It would drive me nuts. It looked like he was already used to it, though. Hindi na siya natutulog dati, eh. 

The next day, I was surprised to see my mom in the living room. I didn't know how to act around her. She stood up when she saw me going downstairs. Wala na rin si Clyden kanina pa. 

"Breakfast?" I simply asked without looking at her. 

"I'll just have tea, please," she answered formally. I heard her footsteps from behind me when she followed me to the kitchen. 

"Why are you here?" I asked in a cold voice. 

"Maureen, I am your mother. Stop treating me like a stranger. Let's end this petty fight and just start talking to me. Pumayag na akong mag-model ka, right? What more do you want?" She sounded so calm, but I knew she was just trying to control her emotions. 

"Should I thank you for letting me do what I want, Mom?" I asked while toasting bread. I couldn't look at her. 

"No, honey, I'm saying that I support you! As your mom, I support you! Now stop giving me the cold shoulder. Your Dad and I are really having a hard time right now." When I looked back at her, she was massaging her head in frustration. 

"Why? Did something happen?" I asked. 

"Nothing for you to worry about, honey. Just stick to Clyden as long as you can. Your Dad and I will try to fix things." Mom still gave me a smile, but it looked like a creepy one. "We just have to take out some traitors." 

I placed her tea on the table along with a plate of toasted bread. I didn't know what to say to her anymore. Hindi ko maintindihan 'yong sinasabi niya. I wondered if something bad was happening while I was occupied with my work. 

"Is everything alright?" I asked her for the last time before she left the house. 

"Of course, dear." She gave me a smile. "As long as your relationship with Clyden is not falling, everything is going to be alright. Trust me." 

I wanted to defend myself and say that I wasn't using Clyden as my 'fallback' plan, but she already went inside the car. I sighed and went inside to play with the dogs. The next day, Clyden went home around eight in the morning, looking so tired. 

"Breakfast?" I asked carefully. 

"I'll just take a shower. I'll go back there in 2 hours," he said without looking at me. 

I thought I would get used to it since I also became busy with my stuff. After two months, I received an email from my agency about an international show I was going to participate in, so I was so thrilled. I already booked my flight to New York that weekend and prepared my stuff. 

"Babe! You're here! Good news!" I excitedly said when Clyden went home early in the morning. He looked so sleepy and tired while taking his polo off. 

"Let me hear it later, love. I'm really tired," he said in a monotone before going upstairs. 

The smile faded on my face, but I still gave him a slight nod. It was fine since he really looked tired. The clerkship was stressing him out. I waited for 'later' to come, but he already left after a few hours to go back to the hospital. I ended up not being able to tell him until my flight. I just texted him that I'd be out for a few days. 

My trip to New York was so lonely, but I met some models with the help of Giselle. I shopped with them after practice. It was the first time I felt like I really fit in the industry. All of them were so nice. We also followed each other on Instagram. 

"The change in your walk is drastic! I love your improvement!" Giselle praised. "Keep it up! You'll become a supermodel in no time. I'm really proud of you, Sam!" 

"Thank you, Giselle." Giselle was always so humble. Even though she was already working with big brands, she never boasted about it. She was so eager to help a beginner like me. 

My first fashion show was nerve-wracking. I was so nervous when it was my turn, but I still pulled it off. I managed not to trip on the runway. That was already an achievement for me. After that show, I met some other designers and socialites. My circle was starting to get big because of my communication skills. It really helped me a lot in striking conversations with other people. 

Clyden barely replied to my messages since he was busy with his duty, but he sent me photos of him in a maroon scrub suit with a surgical mask on. He messaged me with 'E.R. duty' along with those photos. I replied, 'Good luck!' with a heart emoji. 

When I went home straight from my flight, Yanna texted me to take care of Avi since her mom was going to leave for Laguna. I went home for a moment just to get more clothes and to return my dirty clothes before going to my condo in Katipunan. 

"Sorry, Sam, ah. May aasikasuhin lang ako sa Laguna. Biglaan lang din. Baka ilang araw pa ako roon. Pasensya na," Yanna's mom said when I went inside the unit. 

"It's okay, Tita. I'll take care of her," I assured her. 

She gave Avi a kiss before leaving the unit with her bags. I texted Clyden that I had to stay in my condo for days and he replied 'Okay.' Hindi na rin naman kami masyadong nagkikita kaya wala namang changes kahit nasa bahay ako o wala. Bihira na nga niyang higaan 'yong kama namin dahil lagi na siyang inaabot ng antok sa sofa. He barely slept. 

Ridgen would also send me photos of Clyden for fun. He was sleeping anywhere in the hospital! Sa desk, sa sahig, sa upuan, pati habang kumakain. I felt bad for him, so I promised myself to be the most understanding partner. He was having a hard time. I didn't want to add up to his problems anymore. 

"Hello, love!" I carried Avi, who was on the floor, playing with big shapes. 

She was putting it in her mouth, so she was drooling. I had to clean up the room after putting her inside the crib. I was so sleepy but Avi was crying, so I couldn't really rest peacefully. The baby wanted to eat, so she kept on pulling on the hem of my shirt to reveal my chest. 

"I don't have milk with me, baby," I told her while getting Yanna's stored breastmilk inside the refrigerator. It was the only thing I could do at the moment. She had to go to classes, so I bought her pumping equipment. She would use that to collect her milk. 

I made her drink milk through the bottle until she was already spitting it out. I had to clean her again before getting her to finally sleep. Nang makatulog siya, nakatulog na rin ako sa kama. Nagising lang ako nang dumating na si Yanna, still wearing her uniform. 

"Sige lang. Matulog ka pa. Mukhang pagod ka," she said while removing her I.D. 

"No, I'm not tired. It's fine!" I lied. "I'll cook for dinner!" 

She was busy with her studies so I had to cook dinner for them. Nagising pa si Avrielle so kinailangan niyang buhatin habang nag-aaral siya. Yanna was so good at multi-tasking. Mukhang nasanay na siyang mag-alaga ng bata habang nagre-review. I admired her so much that I was willing to do anything just to make her rest for a moment, kahit huwag na akong magpahinga. 

While cooking dinner, Clyden sent me a close-up photo of him with a mask on and a hair cap. He was wiping his sweat with his forearm, so I saw him wearing gloves. His eyes looked so tired, but he looked like he was enjoying it. 

Clyden would often have an afternoon off, but he would spend it studying and usually, may shoot din ako kapag off-duty siya so hindi ko rin siya naaabutan. It was all fine to me. We were busy chasing our dreams. It was normal. 

I cooked dinner for Yanna and me. I also offered to wash the dishes because she was preparing for an exam the next day. Ako na rin 'yong nag-alaga kay Avi at nagpaligo to lessen Yanna's burden. After that, I organized my schedule again. I was already trying to find a good manager. 

It went on for the next two days. I canceled my schedule just to take care of Avi while Yanna was out, but I had to go back to work during the weekend. Noong Sunday, nasaktuhan kong off-duty si Clyden noong afternoon so we went out on a date. 

"Do you want me to help you study?" I asked him while sipping on my shake. Kahit sa date, nagbabasa pa rin siya. 

"I'm sorry." He panicked and started fixing his things. Nilagay niya 'yong mga papel sa bag niya bigla. "I was just looking at my notes from last week. How are you?" 

"I'm okay. How are you?" I asked him back. 

"I'm fine. How's your dad? I heard he's under investigation," he simply said before taking a sip of his watermelon shake. My brows furrowed immediately, confused by what he said. "Wait, you didn't know?" 

"What?" Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko. "What investigation? What did he do?" 

"He's being accused of plunder, and your mom's being accused of doing underground business. They're helping in the importation of illegal drugs," he explained carefully. "That's what I read. It's all over the news."

I blinked twice, still not processing any of it. My head suddenly hurt when I sipped on my shake too much. I felt dizzy just thinking about what my parents were going through at the moment, and I exactly had no idea! 

"I'm sorry, I..." I got my bag and left my shake on the table. "I need to see Mom." 

I didn't wait for his nod and just ran away. I was trying to call my mother a lot of times, but she wasn't answering! I tried reaching my dad, but his phone was also off. I drove faster until I reached the mansion. Dali-dali akong bumaba at pumasok sa loob, only to see both of them with a group of lawyers in the living room.

"Honey, you're here." My mom looked surprised to see me. "Excuse us for a moment, please." 

When the lawyers left, I walked towards the living room and looked at them with so much confusion. "What the hell is happening around here?" 

"Maureen, just calm down. Everything's fine!" My mom smiled again. It was such a crazy smile. Hindi ko na alam ang iniisip niya. 

"Is it true?" I asked, hoping that they would say no, but my dad just stood up and tried to shut me down. "Is it true?! Answer me!" My voice echoed throughout the whole mansion. 

"We have enough money, dear, so don't worry about it." My mom tried to touch my shoulder, but I stepped back. Money? What the hell were they planning to do with the money? "Maureen, please, stop being such a burden and just stay out of this!" 

"Do you know... how many people... how many people are suffering? How many people are out there, barely even living for a day?! How many people are paying taxes only for you to..." I was breathing so heavily. My eyes started to heat as I tried so hard to stop my tears from falling. "Only for you to steal?! Huh?! I am so disgusted!" 

"Maureen, calm down," my mom said. 

"No! Everyone was right about you, Dad! You're a useless politician and also a bad father!" I yelled. "You know what else can I call you? A criminal!" 

I held my cheek after a harsh slap from my dad. My mom yelled at him and went to me, but I pushed her away. When Dad walked towards me again, I closed my eyes and waited for another pain to come, but instead, I heard Naomi's cry. 

"Stop, please. Stop." I opened my eyes and saw Naomi holding my father's wrist.

"Naomi, go back to your room," mariing sabi ko. "Let him go." 

"You fucking child, do not even try to butt in!" My dad moved his hand away to get out of Naomi's hold, causing her to fall on the floor. I immediately went to her to help her. "All of you are so ungrateful! I paid for your fucking tuition, your needs, everything, and this is how you will treat me? Huh, Maureen?!" 

"You paid for my needs using other people's money!" I yelled at him again. "Do not even sound so proud!" 

And the worst part was... I benefitted from their dirty tactics. I felt so ashamed of myself for making it up to this point. I was so ashamed for only learning about the whole truth now. I didn't know how to feel. I was disgusted. 

"You, stand up and go back to your room!" My mom shouted at Naomi and tried to drag her away, but I pulled her back. "Do not even try, Maureen. Stop doing things for this child just because you pity her!" 

My lips parted in shock. "Pity? She is my sister, so let go of her!" 

"She is not your sister because I did not give birth to this child! Get away from her, or she will also become the cause of your downfall, like what happened to her mom! Do you hear that, kid? You bring misfortune to everyone! Now we're going down, too!" My mom kept on saying everything going inside her head without thinking. 

"Stop it!" I yelled. "You did this to yourself! Stop blaming the child! She's just a kid!" Hinatak ko si Naomi pabalik. She looked like she was already hurting, so I let go of her hand. She looked down and cried, begging us to stop. "Naomi, come with me." 

She looked at me and slowly shook her head. My mom scoffed. "See? She's staying here! Now go back upstairs!" 

I wanted to pull her back with me and force her to leave, but she looked at me like she was begging me to stop, so I didn't move my hand. I was about to walk away when the door opened, and Clyden went inside, looking around. 

"Let's go, Maui." He held my hand and pulled me out of the mansion. I tried to get out of his grip, but he wouldn't let me go until we reached the parking. "It's not good to act on your emotions." 

I moved my hand away and stared at him in disbelief. "Are you hearing yourself?! You can say that because you are not in my position! You are not having a hard time with your parents!" 

He loudly closed the door of his car and faced me with so much anger. He looked at me like he wanted to say a curse, but he stopped himself. 

"I am not having a hard time?" he repeated in a calm voice. "You do not know a thing." 

"What do I not know?! You also do not know a thing about me and what is going on with me, so don't act so high!" I yelled. My emotions started getting on me, and I couldn't stop my mouth anymore. 

"This is not good. Just... Just go home." He sighed and took my bag from me so he could get my car keys. 

Binuksan niya ang sasakyan ko at pinapasok ako sa loob. I sighed and hit the steering wheel before driving away. His car followed me from behind. My mind was too clouded. Everything was too much. While I was driving, I received a message from Yanna. I stopped my car at a red light to read it.

From: Yanna

Ang taas ng lagnat ni Avi, Sam. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. 

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to breathe before texting Clyden that I had to visit my friend. Pagka-green light, lumiko na kaagad ako at pumunta sa Katipunan. When I parked the car, I checked the news and saw the articles about my family. 

"Fuck," I whispered when the issue about my dad having an illegitimate child also blew up. Everyone was already talking about Naomi and her mom's death. Some people were saying that my dad probably planned her death because he wanted to get rid of her. 

My head was spinning. I wanted to explode, but I still went out of the car when I saw Yanna running to me, carrying Avi with her. I opened the door for her while she was crying. May dala-dala pa siyang reviewers. She looked so devastated. 

"Hey, it's okay. We're taking her to the hospital. It will be alright," I comforted her. "Stop crying. I'm here, okay?" 

She nodded and wiped her tears. I held her hand and gave her an assuring smile before driving away. We managed to take Avi to the doctor in time, and they admitted her to the hospital to take care of her for a few days. They said everything would be fine and it wasn't anything critical, so the next day, I went back to my shoot. 

I knew they weren't satisfied with what I did, so they called it off and just rescheduled. They probably heard the news about my family, so they were considerate. After the shoot, I stayed inside my car for a moment and tried to call people I could drink with. 

Luna, Via, and Kierra were all busy with their plates. Sevi was busy reviewing for his board exam. Arkin was... busy as usual. I didn't want to bother Yanna because she was having a hard time with school and Avi. Clyden would probably be at the hospital. 

"It's okay, Sam," I whispered. "You have yourself." 

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:)