2. 

Tony's bones were rattling. His muscles were moaning. The blood on his forehead had crusted over the cut and he was pretty sure the deodorant he was wearing was doing nothing to hide the stench of sweat that escaped his armpits. 

He needed food. And, from the way Peter was physically shaking beside him and Thor was licking his lips while looking at a pigeon, the others did too. 

"Who wants Shawarma?" He called, as they sat inside the quinjet. 

Everyone collectively groaned, except Peter, who looked afraid he might offend someone. 

"Last time we got Shawarma I didn't digest anything for a week." Natasha drawled from beside Clint in the pilots area. 

"Pff, weakling. I didn't digest for 2 weeks." Clint said with a smug smile. 

"I don't digest at all." Thor boasted, causing the entire plane to descend into an awkward silence. "Take that b*tches." 

"Do you know what that means?" Bruce asked with a frown. 

"Yes." Thor took a swig or beer- something they frequently wondered where he had found. 

Tony let out a sigh. "Well, I'm hungry. Where can we go for food?" 

Peter's eyes lit up. It was his time. 

—————

"McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's!" He chanted, along with Thor and Clint. The McDonald's employee taking their order was having trouble hearing Natasha, who hung out of the window in order to speak closer to the speaker. Nobody heard what she ordered, but assumed she'd gotten something for everything. 

They were wrong, especially when the McDonald's employee handed one black coffee into the window of the jet, their jaw hanging open. How the jet fitted into the drive thru, nobody knew. 

Peter was very upset. He was hungry, and Natasha got to have a coffee, and there was no snacks in the plane after he ate them all the day before. 

Watching his upset face, Natasha let out a sigh before turning the plane around with a huge swerve and landing in the car park of McDonald's. Peter's eyes lit up again. 

"FOOD! finally." Sam sighed, leading the way into fresh air. He was unaware of his photo being taken and put onto multiple social media sites by the teen employees. 

The Avengers, one by one, filed into the small, mostly empty Maccas, practically buying out the place with the amount of food and using Tony's credit card to pay for it all (he had been wondering where that went!)

Peter got six Big Macs and three large fries, a Fanta and a m'n'm McFlurry. Tony got a Big Mac and a large chips with a coke, Wanda got a chicken burger some chips and a lemonade, and the list went on. 

After scoffing down their food, Peter decided he wanted to go down the slide because of course he did, and the others decided to go with him because why not. 

A train was created. Thor went first, with Peter holding onto his back, with Tony behind him and Steve behind him and Bucky and Sam behind him. Behind Sam was Wanda, then Vision, then Clint, Natasha, and Bruce. To create the train they linked their legs around each other and held onto each other's shoulders before going down the slide all together. 

Problem was, their thighs were just too thicc to go down the slide- and they were stuck.

"Why've we stopped?" Bruce called from the front as they came to an abrupt stop. 

"My thighs," Thor said. "They're stuck." 

"Mine too," Bucky confessed, who, let's be honest, had pretty noicely thicc thighs. 

Tony began to freak out slightly. "Push guys! Push! Push!" 

There was a loud rubbing noise, like a balloon against another balloon as they all attempted to shuffle their arses further down the slide. But it didn't work- they were well and truly stuck- and before anyone could stop him, Peter was calling for help. 

"Hello? 911? Their thighs! They're too thicc!" 

A loud beep was heard. 

"They hung up on me!" Peter shrieked, looking at his phone screen. 

"Okay, stay calm everyone." Steve said, raising his hands in that gesture people do to calm people down and accidentally hitting his hands on the slide walls. 

Wanda was not staying calm. Neither was Bruce, who looked particularly green. 

"Maybe we can break the slide?" Sam suggested, hitting the sides of the slide slightly. 

Bucky shook his head. "No, these things are indestructible, trust me, I've tried." 

"And we could get injured." Steve added. 

"Thigh reduction?" Tony suggested, and Natasha pulled out a knife. 

"NO." Steve replied firmly, his eyes widening in panic as Natasha moved the knife towards Bucky's thighs. He confiscated the knife from her. 

"Well what do we do?" Wanda asked, attempting to shift in the slide. 

Steve let out a long breath through his nose, and pulled out his phone. 

"Hello? Yes, sorry, uh, there's several people stuck inside a Maccas slide... no, this isn't a joke... yes... the McDonald's on Stark St, we need a fire engine." 

After several minutes of singing the wheels on the bus, the hokey pokey, and a couple renditions of that song about green bottles hanging on the wall, the sound of sirens slowly came closer and closer. 

The firemen and women didn't even attempt to get them out until they had taken a couple of selfies with them, with Peter being the only one smiling underneath the Spider-Man mask and holding up a peace sign, everyone else scowling or looking exasperated or glaring into the camera with an expression that chilled the firemen and women to the bone. 

First, they tried pulling on Thor's legs and Bruce's arms- but, alas, their thighs were just too thicc, and it did nothing. So they pulled out the claws of life or whatever they're called, and began to cut. 

The first to be freed was Thor, obviously, as they cut off the top of the slide and pulled on the edges to widen the sides and allow him to be free. Next was Peter, Tony, and so on. 

Finally, everyone was freed. Bruce no longer looked green, Wanda wasn't hyperventilating anymore, and Vision was looking at the light in surprise. 

"I'd almost forgotten what it was like," he told Wanda. "To be free. To see the light of day. I was becoming so accustomed to our new life..." 

Steve, meanwhile, was thanking the firemen and women. "You have no idea what it was like in there. It smelled, for one, and we were completely cut off from the outside world. Not ideal living conditions." He laughed lightly, resting a friendly hand on the fireman's shoulder. 

"Yeah," the fireman laughed awkwardly. "Hey, don't you, Bucky and Spider-Man have super strength?" 

Steve's cheeks went slightly pink. 

"And, like, Thor can fly. And Stark has nanotech. And Scarlet Witch can fly and like, break things. And doesn't Vision have laser eyes?" 

Everyone went quiet. Steve cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. 

"Yes... that... would have been a good idea." 

"Yeah, just some thoughts ha ha." 

Tony scratched the back of his neck. Peter bounced up and down. Wanda fiddled with her fingers. Bruce chewed the inside of his lip. Thor scuffed the ground with his foot. 

"Uh, well, I guess we'd better get going," a firewoman said eventually, already starting to edge away. 

"Okay. Bye. Thanks again." Tony called in reply, as they gathered up their equipment and almost ran away. They didn't reply. 

"That was awkward." Peter said, once they had left. "That has to be the worst teambuilding activity we've ever done." 

Wanda stared at him. Natasha burrowed her face into her hands. Clint just looked at him judgementally. 

"Peter-" Tony let out an exasperated sigh. "It wasn't a teambuilding activity." 

Peter's spider eyes widened comically. "You mean, we were actually stuck?!?!" 

"Yes." Said Sam impatiently. 

Peter placed a hand on each side of his head, shocked. "Oh NO. That's so embarrassing!" 

A/N This ended badly but eghhhhh. What even was this chapter tbh. Hope u liked it. :P