So since I don't have any ideas, imma do this. There reader's not gonna be part of it cuz this book doesn't have a reader as part of it, and also not gonna really have any smut cuz I'm an awkward celery. Also everyone except Tony's a single Pringle in this. 

words: 2469

"Team bonding night's tonight!" Tony grinned. It wasn't like anyone needed a reminder. Stark had been reminding them since the last one had happened. To make the Avengers closer, Tony had started having bonding nights every two weeks where everyone had to mandatorily attend. If any of them had a mission, it would be rescheduled. Well, that part was Happy's doing since Stark had enlisted him to make sure everyone was there. Tony just designed the evenings.

All throughout the day, Tony periodically reminded the team it was bonding night that night.

"You know, if I ever get amnesia, I'm going to remember my past be seeing a calendar and realizing it's bonding night," Sam muttered to Steve.

"I don't know why he's so excited about it. Usually he only says it every ten seconds. I think it's just five seconds today," Steve replied, gritting his teeth. Rogers knew not to say stuff behind people's backs. He knew how it felt to be on the other end, and it wasn't The Right Thing To Do. Still, sometimes righteousness wasn't the most important thing ever...

Steve wasn't the only one noticed Stark's excitement and by lunch, the Avengers were making bets on what Tony had planned. Even Peter had a bet going with Clint over a capri-sun.

At eight pm, everyone gathered around the couches with uncharacteristic excitement. Tony was the last to walk in, holding a stuffed pillowcase. "And the activity of tonight is... Seven Minutes in Heaven!" Money exchanged hands and Clint begrudgingly gave Peter a juice box. The teen triumphantly stabbed the straw into the surfer's belly like a rebel. Steve had to look away because the unethical scene was too much for his pure eyes.

"You're married," Bucky called out.

"For that, Barnes, you can go first," Tony said with a shit eating grin, and excitedly shoved the bag into Bucky's face. The entire team watched Bucky intently as he pulled out a sheet of paper. On it was a picture of Captain America performing to sell bonds.

Bucky grinned. "Is this Steve?" Most of the room shipped Steve and Bucky, so much that Nat had created the nickname Barnes and Noble. Bucky's smile slipped no one's attention except Steve who had been struggling on whether or not it was weird to watch Bucky take a slip of paper and had instead stared at his crush's socks. At the mention of his name, Steve's head snapped up.

"Me?" Steve coughed out. Tony nodded. He looked like he did when he finished a groundbreaking project. Project Stucky, I guess. Bucky got up and awkwardly walked to the closet with Steve shuffling after him. Tony closed the door, and the two best friends looked at each other.

The light shining from the crack under the door highlighted the ends of Steve's hair, and little waves of light danced over his face from Bucky's reflective metal arm. Steve compulsively rubbed the back his neck, and Bucky just looked down. "Well, I think I'll be haunted by Stark's face from now on," Bucky stated.

Steve choked out a laugh and nodded. Why don't I hold you, so you won't have to be as scared? "Huh, yeah, that was really creepy." Oh My God, Steve, you potato.

"Yeah," Bucky murmured. There was another uncomfortable silence. "Hey, um, Steve, I'm kind of- It was dark at HYDRA a lot, and so, uh-"

"You afraid of the dark?" Steve joked, reaching out and holding Bucky's hand to comfort him. They were too far apart for hand-holding to feel natural-ish, so Bucky inched closer. His foot caught on a crack in the wood floor, and he collapsed into Steve's arms.

"Fuck, sorry," Bucky blushed, regaining his footing. Steve bit his lip and grinned at Buck. Back in the 40s, Steve had made a habit to make sure his friend had a halfway respectable vocabulary, and pointed out whenever he swore. Bucky'd been doing a good job of staying PG since he'd come back, but it didn't take long for him to find out about Steve's mess up with Tony. "You're not gonna say it?" Bucky teased.

Steve sighed. "Language."

"Gotta keep me straight, don't you?" Bucky hadn't really moved to disentangle himself from Steve's arms, and pressed up against the super soldier's chest, he could feel his heartbeat quicken. "Clearly that hasn't gone very well."

Steve was about to say nearly the same thing, and leaned over laughing, conveniently also close to Bucky's mouth. He hadn't intended to come out to his best friend, and he also hadn't intended for Steve to just lean over and kiss him, but happy accidents, right?

Steve choked, remembering what Nat had said. Have you not kissed anyone since 1945? He pulled back a bit, and Bucky looked him in the eye cheekily.

"I'd think the serum also made your inexperience bigger, but you can't really multiply zero." Steve opened his arms, and without the support, Bucky started to fall backwards. "Sorry!" Steve smiled and caught him, and because maybe it was dark, or maybe God was done with their shit, but Steve grabbed his collar and started to pull him up. Bucky raised his head, and Steve had leaned down when he was catching Buck, and their mouths connected again (I didn't say their lips slammed into each other, are you proud of me?).

Instead of finishing pulling him up, Steve kept hold of his collar, raising Bucky slightly of the ground, and kissed him. Bucky wasn't really connected to much, and he started to swing away unintentionally. Or there was another reason he grabbed onto the back of Steve's neck.

After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door, and it started to swing open. Steve dropped Bucky in shock and looked out, his face interchangeable with a tomato.

Tony raised an eyebrow but raised a finger to his lips, winking.

Both of them stumbled back the seat as Tony chose someone else to pick from the bag and started to talk in morse code.

Steve, you mind if we don't tell them yet?

This is The Avengers. They'll find out eventually.

Yeah but before 'eventually' happens, can we stay quiet?

Sure, Buck.

The idea for this next part was inspired by @kittybarton and Tumblr

"Nat!" Tony grinned. "Your turn to pick!" Nat glared at him and reached in, pulling out a picture of Merida from Brave. "Ooh, Clint." The friends made eye contact and gritted their teeth. Nat shrugged and stood up, confidently walking into the closet, and Clint followed after her, glaring at Tony.

Once the door closed, they looked at each other again. At the same time, they said, "Just friends, right?" There was an awkward moment of silence before Nat grinned mischievously like she always did when she had a new idea.

"What if we come up something to say like whenever something unnoticeable happens? Just to fuck with them," Nat whispered. Clint raised his eyebrow, and when he realized Nat couldn't see this, he shook his head in confusion. "Jesus, Barton, do you even have braincells? That's a good idea! Like if someone says something stupid or something, I'd say two because they have two braincells."

Clint nodded and matched Nat's smirk. "Definitely. Starting tomorrow so they're not suspicious."

They spent the rest of the time talking about whatever until the night eventually ended.

Nat walked into the kitchen in a towel like every other day. One of the unexpected plusses of being unwillingly turned into an assassin is that she somehow knew how to tie a towel in a way that it didn't fall off. And all you haters thought she didn't count because she didn't have superpowers.

Steve and Bucky were making pancakes, and they seemed to be acting differently than usual, but Nat couldn't place how. Thor and Clint were sitting at the table devouring the pancakes from the tray in front of them. Tony was sitting on the couches talking to someone else with their backs facing Nat.

Tony turned around and his eyes very nearly popped out of their sockets. The other man turned around, and he very slowly looked down and then finally right into Nat's eyes. "Seven," Natasha loudly announced, walking out. In an effort to hide his grin, Clint shoved an entire pancake in his mouth.

A few moments later, Nat came back in in jeans and one of Steve's button-down shirts with the top buttons opened and the sleeves rolled up. It had become second nature for the avengers to steal each others clothes, mostly because whoever's turn it was to do laundry wouldn't tell the difference between everyone else's. Nat was at an advantage here because she was smaller than most of them, so she could fit into nearly any of the other avenger's things.

Nat sat down next to Clint and smirked, seeing he was still trying to eat the whole pancake he'd stuffed in his mouth earlier. "Eight, dumbass."

"Steve's right here!" Bucky called out from across the room. The story of his slip up in Sokovia was Tony's favorite, and anyone who talked to him for more than five minutes knew it.

Clint finally swallowed. "Eight to you."

"Whoa, Barton! That's a thirteen lowest. You nearly killed yourself." Clint grumbled and turned up his nose comically. "Wow, okay. Guess we're not talking then," Nat shrugged, and a grin danced on her lips. Around each other, Clint and Nat were almost always either smiling or struggling not to.

"Yeah, I guess we're not," Clint humphed. After a nearly twenty minutes in silence, Clint sighed. "Nope, I can't."

"Knew I'd win," Nat replied smugly. Big surprise there. Nat was trained to be able to stand perfectly still in boredom for hours. She always won.

In the time they'd been quiet, Steve and Bucky had brought over another heaping plate of pancakes and sat down. The only sound that broke the silence was Tony and the other man quietly discussing whatever.

"What's taking Stark so long?" Steve asked.

Clint and Nat's eyes met and again they were grinning. "Bet," Natasha said without either of them having to explain the challenge. Much louder, she said, "Stark! You're boyfriend misses you!" Everyone at the table shipped Stucky, but it was fun to tease Tony and Steve every once in a while.

The glance the two super soldiers gave each other right after Nat's comment didn't go unnoticed, and Clint was starting to pick up on why it was happening. In the spirit of Clint, he said, "Hey Nat, I was thinking that a new ship name for Steve and Bucky could be Starbuck."

"Keep trying, but you'll never beet Barnes and Noble," Nat laughed as Steve and Bucky gave each other more panicked glances. "Or obvious numskulls. Four." Steve and Bucky nearly choked, but after a moment, Nat shook her head. Rogers's relieved expression was nearly as plain to see as his crush on Bucky. "Numskulls just- nope. How about obvious, let's see, couple."

After a few seconds of stammering from the newly revealed boyfriends, Stark came over with the man he'd been talking to. "Do you want to join us for breakfast?" The man looked like he was going to meet a god. Well, he was. "Everyone, this is Throckmorton Vacanti. He's a UN ambassador. Be nice."

"Lord Throckmorton, can I offer you a pancake?" Thor asked, his accent turning slightly more asgardian.

"Christ, Thor, this isn't the 1700s," Tony sighed.

Nat grinned with some new idea forming in her head. "I'm sorry what he meant to say is,"—Nat paused, adopting a less educated sounding voice—"Yo Throcky, want a pancake or no?"

"You mean heated batter disk?" Clint suggested. Tony merely facepalmed and sighed.

"Excuse us for a moment," Tony nodded to Throck. Vacanti nodded and walked back over to the couches. "Guys," Tony said in a hushed but angry voice. "This guy can decide to reopen the Sokovia Accord case. Don't be eggcups." Tony looked directly at Steve as he finished. The UN's demands for the accords had been tucked away after a lot of sweet-talking and bribes, but they were still on thin ice, which worked better to keep them in line than the Accords would have. "You can come back now!"
Throck returned uncertainly, and stuck out his hand to each of them to shake. When he got to Nat, she looked him directly in the eye and asked if he spoke Russian. He shook his head confusedly, and Nat sighed, giving him a tough luck face. "That's so unfortunate. My friend here, Bucky, only knows Russian. Do you know any other languages?"

"Yes, I speak French, English, and Spanish," Throck said.

"He's such an idiot," Nat said to Bucky in Russian.

"Two," Clint nodded. Nat had spent the last few years teaching him, and even though it was accented, Clint was fluent in Russian.

"Seriously guys, what does that mean?" Tony asked, switching to Italian seamlessly. He didn't know much Russian, but they all knew numbers and hi and bye and whatnot in many various languages, so he could understand the last part.

"Six?" Nat shrugged, looking at Clint. Clint nodded. "You son of a bitch, you can't speak Italian. Oh shit," Nat changed back to Russian "You can't speak Italian."

Clint grinned widely. "TWO!"

"If you don't mind, can we primarily speak in English?" Throck was making an attempt at neatly cutting up his pancake which, unfortunately for him, Bucky had filled with so many chocolate ships that it was more bits of batter in chocolate.

"Of coarse," Natasha smiled politely. "You don't mind if I translate for my friend here, though, do you?"

"No, no that's fine," Throck smiled politely.

Immediately, Nat turned to Bucky and said, "It's zero. Don't look confused Birdbrain gets it." Out of the corner of her eye, Romanov saw Clint about to retort. "Shut up! I can't say your name or else he'll know I'm talking about you."

"I didn't SAY anything!" Clint shot back.

"And here we have it," Sam said, walking in. "The world's best protectors."

Everyone at the table looked up in shock and in unison, said, "You know Russian?" Sam just give his usual smug-ass smirk and sat down, taking the chocolate circle from Throck's plate and shoving it in his mouth. Tony stood up, stink-eyeing everyone.

"Okay, Mr. Vacanti, how about we get coffee?