This one's kinda sad, my bad

"Steve, are you sure?"

He looked up at you. "I know you're my big sister and all, but I promise I know how to look after myself sometimes."

You smiled. "I know. I guess I'm just too used to looking after you. Even after not seeing you in so long it's kicking back in."

Steve nodded. "Yeah. How is working as a military nurse?"

You shrugged. "Not bad... I had to learn some self defense maneuvers, then I went ahead and learned some more form an officer. Then he taught me how to use different guns in case I ever needed to. I've never felt more prepared."

Steve smiled at you and was going to say something, but was interrupted by Doctor Erskine.

"It's time"

...

"Steve, you are still my little brother! I don't care if you're all huge and a foot taller than me now, I'm still older and I'm still going to look after you! Please, don't do this."

Steve nearly glared at you. "I have to save Bucky, (Y/n). You know how much he means to me. I'm not just going to leave him or the rest of the 107th in the clutches of Hydra."

You never got the chance to say more, because he was off. His new friend, Peggy, was going with him. At least he had her to look out for him. He was still just a kid to you.

...

You pulled Steve into a hug. "You guys are doing amazing! The Red Skull has to be shaking in his boots- no, Hitler is!"

Steve and the other Howling Commandoes laughed. "You bet your ass- er, you know it!" Dum Dum Dugan said, his quick wording change being the result of a glare being sent from both Steve and Bucky.

You laughed and swatted Steve's arm. "I'm older than you, stop acting like a protective older brother," you joked.

He smiled. "Well, doesn't give him any right to say that to you." Bucky nodded in agreement.

You sat by and tended to a couple wounds as they all discussed their next mission. It seemed like it was a mission to nab a high up Hydra member. Though your hands didn't shake- you were too good a nurse for that- you were panicking all the same.

Your baby brother... all he wanted was to be thrown into the fire and now that's all he seems to be doing.

...

Steve had changed. He refused to talk to you about anything now and even tried to have you discharged and sent home. Losing Bucky scared him and now he thought he was going to lose you.

Even after you reminded him about how safe you were and how you were still the older one, Steve didn't care. All he did was retreat and try to keep you away. He said it was for safety...

...

Peggy held you close. You were ruining her uniform with your snot and tears.

Steve was gone. Sacrificed himself to save the world. How heroic. And while you were proud of him, you also resented him for leaving you.

"I'm so sorry," Peggy whispered, her voice cracking. She'd been crying, too. You knew she loved him. Maybe almost as much as you, but not quite the same.

"I- I- I- I don't know what to do with my life," you sobbed. Peggy's hand rubbed your back, as it had been for nearly half an hour now. "All I did was protect Steve. What am I supposed to without him? Without any of my family?"

Peggy finally removed her hand from your back. She put both hands on your shoulders and pulled you away so she could look you in the eye.

"Join the SSR with me. You can still do things, (Y/n). It might not be about protecting Steve anymore, but it can be about carrying on and keeping his memory alive."

At the moment, you couldn't think about it so you just hugged Peggy again and stayed quiet. Later, when you were calm enough, you did give her offer some thought.

...

The Chief looked at you with an anger in his eyes. You had no idea what you'd done to deserve it, you'd barely spoken to the man.

"Why do you look at me as if I've wronged you horribly."

His words haunted you for the rest of your life.

...

"I can help you."

"But... Steve... he'd..."

"He's gone, and you still suffer because of that. I can help you."

...

"It'll make me like him?

"Better."

...

"Sir, we need her on ice."

...

"She can't find out."

...

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

...

You woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed. When you tried to break out of them, nothing happened.

"Vibranium."

Your head snapped up and you looked at the man leaning against the wall across from you. You had no idea who he was.

When you didn't say anything, he nodded his head at the handcuffs. "Those are made from the strongest metal on Earth- possibly in the world. We figured those would be best since you broke out of three other pairs just in your sleep."

You glared at him. Something seemed to click in his head and he nodded. "Right, you don't know me. Well, I'm Tony Stark. Nice to meet you. You got a name? We found some files at the base you were frozen at but they're written in all kinds of languages, codes, and even blacked out in places. Typical Hydra fashion."

The name rang bells in your head. You didn't know Tony, but you knew Howard. Sounded like this could be his son. And if that were the case, he was an enemy. So you still didn't talk.

Tony realized this pretty quickly. He wasn't surprised, but he was hoping he'd find a way to get something out of you.

"All right, well, if you don't want to talk to me I can find someone else who might get some answers. You know the Winter Soldier, right?" Tony was hoping that the name would scare you, even if the Soldier no longer existed and he was just Bucky now.

When you didn't shrink back in fear or look even remotely scared, Tony realized he was very wrong about who you might be. "Well then. Have fun sitting in silence. Or really, laying in silence, I guess."

Tony left with more questions than answers. He figured this might be a good time to bring in Bucky to see if he recognized you. Him, Steve, and a few others just got back from a mission and hadn't heard about you yet.

"Hey, Mad Hatter, I need you for a second," Tony said once he entered the common room Bucky had been lounging in.

He looked confused at the nickname, then looked to Sam who was also in the room. "It's a... pop culture thing we haven't gotten to yet," he partially explained.

Bucky nodded then got up to go with Tony. "What's this about?" he asked.

"Well, we found an old Hydra base that was pretty hidden and took care of it. While there, we found someone frozen and brought her here. Her files are being cracked as we speak, but it's taking some time, so I was hoping you might know something about her."

Bucky nodded. While he didn't really enjoy revisiting his Hydra past, he knew he was the best for this kind of thing, so he'd do what he could to help out.

"Sure thing. Will she be able to see me?"

Tony shook his head. "No, we've got a one way mirror installed that I'll have us look through. Just for precautions." Bucky nodded, and the two remained silent as they walked to the room.

At the window, Bucky looked up and at the girl sitting up in the hospital bed. His entire body froze. He felt what could only be described as panic enter his system.

"Holy shit."

Without answering the questions Tony was suddenly asking, Bucky turned and ran off. He had to find Steve.

Steve had just changed out of his uniform when Bucky came barreling into his room, causing Steve to jump nearly five feet into the air. "Jeez, Buck, you could at least knock before trying to kill this old man."

But the look on Bucky's face had Steve's heart plummeting. "What's wrong?"

"You need to see it for yourself."

Tony hadn't moved from the room when he heard Bucky coming back down the hall, another person in tow. He was extremely confused when Steve came into the room behind Bucky.

"What's he here for?"

The men ignored Tony, however, and Bucky just brought Steve up to the one-way glass and pointed at the girl. "Look."

Steve's entire body went numb. "Oh my god..." he whispered.

As confused as he was, Tony didn't say a word. Something weird was going on and he didn't feel like he could interject right now (for probably the first time ever).

"She... she joined Hydra?" Steve asked, distraught and simply sad.

"You need to talk to her, Steve. Find out what happened," Bucky whispered, then he came up and put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "We'll be here the whole time. If things start getting heated, I'm getting you out."

Steve didn't say anything, but he nodded. He knew his way to the door, so he left Tony and Bucky there.

Finally Tony asked the burning question. "Okay, what the hell is going on?"

Bucky sighed and finally looked away from you and to Tony. "That's Steve's older sister."

~~

You had been plotting your escape when the door opened again. You were too busy looking at the cuffs to care about who was in your cell now. The door shut heavily and you still didn't look up.

"(Y/n)."

You stopped. The planning, the observing, your thoughts, even your breathing. Everything stopped.

You looked up slowly and saw Steve standing there. Your body started to shake and tears sprang up to your eyes. "S-Steve?" you whispered. For just a second, you were back in Brooklyn, walking your brother back home after a good day at school that he was so excited to tell you about.

Then reality came back into your mind and you saw the anger on Steve's face. So, your changed accordingly. He looked so mad and disappointed. He had no right.

"How are you alive?" you finally asked.

"Same way you are apparently. Ice with some serum." His words were stern and short.

The family reunion wasn't quite as happy as you dreamed it would be. For years you dreamed that Steve would be brought back to you, maybe having suffered some hypothermia, but he'd be alive and there.

Those dreams stopped right around the time you joined.

It was five straight minutes of silent staring before Steve finally asked. "Why? Why would you join Hydra? You know what they did during the war- to Bucky."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. "You'd never get it, Golden Boy," you sneered.

Steve had never seen you like this. In all his life, you'd always been so caring and protective. He'd only ever see you mad when you were protecting him or because he had done something stupid to set off his asthma.

"Of course I don't get it!" Steve yelled, throwing his hands up. "Hydra was a terrorist organization created to murder millions of people! They- they tortured Bucky! They made him do horrible things-"

"The Winter Soldier," you interrupted. "Man, Hydra loved their solider. I guess he must've escaped based on how you're acting right now."

Steve didn't even recognize you. You didn't even sound remorseful or hurt at what they did to Bucky, a childhood best friend.

"Answer my question. Why'd you do it?" Steve asked again, stepped closer to your bed with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Why'd you betray everyone you know and become a terrorist?"

"Because of you!" you shouted.

Steve was taken aback. "Me?" he asked.

"Yes, you. America's Golden Boy. Everyone loved you! And then you died. I didn't think I could continue living until Peggy asked me to come with her to the SSR. And I did. I thought I could make a difference still, like you'd always wanted to do.

"But I wasn't what they wanted. Everyone called me the "Wrong Rogers." Day and night, my friends and coworkers. I could even see Peggy thought the same thing. I was the wrong one. If any of them could choose, I'd be dead instead of you.

"Then one day, after a decade of never being enough, of never being the right person, I was approached by a mole in SHIELD. He said he could help me. And you know, it sounded really nice. It did.

"I love you, Steve. I always have. My whole life was about protecting you and keeping you safe. When I failed, no one could seem to let me forget. I needed to do something and be seen by literally anyone as the "Right Rogers" for once. And that's what Hydra did for me. They wanted me. Not you. Me. So I took them up on the offer, and suddenly I was the right one."

Steve didn't know what to say. Of course he felt horrible that you were forced into his shadow, the shadow of your little brother.

But was joining Hydra the only way?

"Why didn't... why didn't you try and make a name for yourself? Peggy did," Steve asked, knowing she'd also struggled with being "Cap's girl" for years before becoming more.

You shook your head and fought a bit against your restraints, wishing you could do something with your hands. "Jesus, Steve, I tried! For over ten years I tried. I worked on special projects, became a fantastic fighter, tried going on missions. At least Peggy didn't have your last name tied to her."

Inside, Steve was starting to feel guilty. He couldn't control what others did or what they did with his name and image, but he understood having the pressure of being Captain America.

Being his older sister? He didn't want to say he understood, but...

You sniffed, and it brought Steve from his thoughts. "I'm really happy you're okay. I never stopped loving you, or ever hated you. You're just the only Rogers who is enough for the world, and I'm the one who's reminded of that."

Steve felt his eyes tear up and realized just how much he had missed his big sister. "If I take off the cuffs to give you a hug, promise you won't try and run?" he asked.

Suddenly, standing in front of you was your baby brother again. You smiled. "I promise."

Tony and Bucky hated the idea, but they weren't about to interrupt.

Steve took the cuffs off of you (and hid the key so you couldn't nab it) and finally pulled you into a hug.

While squeezing him tight, you let yourself go and sobbed. "I'm sorry I disappointed you."

Steve, with tears running down his face, hugged you even tighter. "I'm sorry, too."

~Fin~

A/n: Goodness this was hard to write. I started over I think three different times before settling on an opening I liked. And then I fought internally on how to end it, and ended up with a bittersweet vibe because yeah.

But I'm back in the States y'all! I had so much fun being in Western Europe and all, but being away from home for so long (since I went straight from campus to Belfast) really took a toll on me. Plus, I missed my little old man, the sweetest dog I know.

Just to let you guys know: starting the week after this, I'm going to be in Orlando working at Disney World until JANUARY! It's a lot, and I don't know how much writing I'll be able to do in my spare time. I'll have two days off each week, but I'll also have classes, want to visit the parks, want to visit Universal, hopefully hang with possible new friends, etc. But you guys mean so much to me that I'm going to keep working hard! Just be patient? Thanks :)

Hope you guys enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!!!!!!!!