You sat in the jet in silence. Tony was flying, Natasha copiloting. You sat across from the stoic soldier, who hadn't said a word to you in nearly twenty four hours. It was ridiculous.

Of course, anytime you tried to say something, his last words to you would ring out in your ears and you'd stop.

~~

It had been a few months since you and Bucky started your thing. You didn't quite know what to call it. You weren't dating, you were more than simple friends, and you weren't FWB... maybe "situation-ship"?

Whatever people called it, you were happy with it. Bucky was one of the sweetest people you had ever met. He looked tough and scary, but really he was a fluff ball. Getting to know him had been so much fun.

It helped that he was really, really pretty. Like gorgeous. He should be the blueprint for every romcom guy. Ever.

For example, tonight, for the past three hours, the two of you have done nothing but talked. You don't even remember how it got started, really. You two were sitting up on the common room couch, ready to take advantage of the rather quiet Tower and have a movie night. Then all of a sudden, you two were laying down, you nestled into his side, just... talking.

"Oh my god, that's awful!" you managed to say through laughter. Suddenly, you were really sad you hadn't been on Bucky's first Avengers mission. It would be amazing to have images to put to the story he had just told you.

After the laughter calmed down, Bucky asked, "What about you? What was your first Avengers mission? I bet it was better than mine since you were a SHIELD agent first."

You felt your face drop. It didn't have anything to do with your very first mission with the Avengers- that actually went flawlessly because of that SHIELD background he mentioned.

It was the mission that was supposed to be your first.

~~

You looked up at Bucky again, knowing you had to talk about the mission soon- you were getting close to the drop off point. Of course he wouldn't talk to you casually, but he'd have to talk to you about the mission.

A few minutes later, right on schedule, Tony called for the debrief. The four of you in the jet circled up around the holo-table in the middle, where Tony was manipulating a holographic map of the terrain.

All while he was pointing out the path to take, where the hostages were, the rendezvous point, and everything else, you were only half paying attention.

Bucky didn't look at you once during the entire debrief. You two were supposed to be completing this mission together and right now, you were worried about how it would go. If he couldn't even look at you...

It's not like you didn't deserve it, though.

~~

"I- I can't believe you!" Bucky yelled, now pacing around the room. You were sitting up too, your head in your hands, regretting ever bringing up that mission.

You lifted your head up. "I shouldn't have brought it up, Bucky, I'm so sorry-"

"You had a chance to rescue me, to- to save me from that living hell and just... decided not to? And sorry is all you can say?" Bucky shook his head in disbelief.

"I was young!" you defended, begging at this point. "Bucky, I wasn't. Ready."

"You weren't ready? Well then what the hell were you doing, being an Avenger?" he yelled.

Suddenly, your demeanor changed. You no longer felt the need to beg and plead for him to understand. With the way he was talking to you, you were getting angry with him. "That's not fair," you said. "A lot of lives were in danger- yours, mine, plenty of innocent civilians from that neighboring town. I couldn't risk it."

Bucky had so much anger on his face. "Couldn't risk it? Or you weren't good enough. How they even let you stay on the team I'll never know," he said. His voice was steady and his eye contact was piercing.

Those words had you in disbelief. You could feel yourself wanting to cry, but refused to do so in front of him. "That was mean," you said, your voice just above a whisper.

He just scoffed. "Yeah, that's the point," he snapped back.

"Buck." The man in question turned to look at who just spoke. Steve was standing in the doorway, as were Wanda and Sam. There was a look of disbelief and disappointment on Steve's face.

You didn't see them, though, because you were focusing on the ground in between you and Bucky. The tears were on the brink of falling- you begged them to hold on for longer.

You looked back up at Bucky as he turned to look at you again. "You're selfish... and I regret wasting my time with you."

He turned and walked away after that, pushing past Steve, Wanda, and Sam. Steve hurried after him.

A second later, you let yourself collapse into sobs. Wanda and Sam hurried over to you and tried to say things to make you feel better. Nothing would though. Bucky was right- you were selfish back then. But was he really just wasting his time with you?

Those words haunted you.

~~

At the drop sight, you and Bucky got the last of your gear on, including the communications devices.

You cleared your throat and glanced p at Bucky quickly while getting the radios up. "Secure channel 4," you said.

Bucky got his to the right channel, but didn't say anything. The door started to open for you two to drop and go. "Does it work?" you asked.

He didn't say a word and just jumped out, starting the mission.

You sighed and followed after. His goal was getting the path to the hostages clear and keeping the outside clear for their escape. You were then to go in and grab them, taking out any opposing force you came into contact with.

Then, Tony and Natasha would pick you all up at the rendezvous point. The hostages would be dropped off first to ensure they were properly checked over for any injuries, and then you'd be back at the Tower.

It sounded so simple, and yet, your mission partner wasn't talking to you, which makes things a bit tricky. Okay, very tricky.

The two of you moved pretty in sync, all things considered. Bucky did a fantastic job clearing the path for you and securing the outside. Now, it was your turn.

You weren't ready for the mission, the one to save Bucky, so you didn't do it. Yes, you had been a SHIELD agent for a few years before joining the Avengers, so you had experience. But those were different missions- much more covert and "make less mess" type.

Avengers missions could be like that, but that one... you simply weren't ready. Now you were. You internally reflected on your growing skills as you made your way to the hostages, impressed with how much Steve, Natasha, and the others have taught you.

At the last room, you slammed the door open and immediately took cover, expecting some heavier gunfire in this spot. However, there was nothing.

Cautiously, you crouched down and carefully peaked around the corner. You were able to spot the gunman before he fired, and ducked back behind the wall before the bullet found itself imbedded in the brick next to you.

In his pause, you came around and fired, taking out the other two threats at the same time. Finally, it was time to get the hostages out.

"You need to get outside. Take this hallway, take two lefts, a right, and then one last left before you should see the door leading out. My partner will be there to take you to the rendezvous point," you debriefed the group.

Once they were all freed from their zip-ties and other bounds, one person looked at you. "What about you? Aren't you going to lead us?" he asked as he rubbed his red wrists.

You reloaded your guns as you answered. "I need to ensure no one follows us out. You'll be fine, I promise. If-"

Your words were cut off by a loud bang, followed by a searing pain in your chest. The hostages looked terrified and torn between running and helping you.

The decision, to you, was easy. "Go!" you forced out, and finally they ran. The command was followed by another gunshot, this time followed by a searing pain in your hip. You were nearly positive that one shattered your hip bone.

It wasn't going to stop you, though. Slow you down, yes, but not stop. Never stop. You clenched down hard and started trying to run.

"(Y/n)? Status, (Y/n), what's going on?" It was Tony over the comms. You wanted to answer, tell him to get ready.

But there was one more bang, and it finally had you dropping. You looked to your stomach and saw the blood pouring out of it.

Chills encapsulated your body. Was this shock? Or death? You didn't know. You thought you wouldn't feel the pain near the end. That it would be nonexistent if you were about to die. Maybe that's why you were still in pain- because you weren't dying.

It felt like you might, though. If only you could say something, anything, over the comms.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n)! What's going on?" Now it was Natasha. She didn't sound panicked, but you knew her very well. You could tell she was.

You tried to open your mouth to say something, literally anything at all, but you couldn't. Words were failing you. Your body was failing.

No, no, no, please don't let this be how I die.

Your vision started going. At a point, you stopped fighting it and let yourself go.

That was precisely when things changed. Your eyes were closed at this point, trying to accept the end, but you felt yourself being moved. Initially, you assumed it was whoever gunned you down, now getting rid of your body.

There was noise, loud bangs like before, and then they stopped. Now you were being moved again, but this time you felt yourself moving from a horizontal position to a vertical one. An arm was being wrapped around your torso and you felt the pain shoot through you and you let out a pain-filled noise in response.

You were running. Well, in your case, you were being carried. But the person carrying you was running.

You could hear someone talking to you, but didn't make the effort to try and hear it. But you did finally make an effort to open your eyes some. With your head down, you were able to open your eyes and make out one thing and one thing only:

A metal hand on your waist.

It made you finally relax, knowing you were okay.

~~

Waking up in a hospital isn't fun. The first thing you felt was something in your throat, making it very hard for you to breathe. You attempts turned into coughing, and you heard someone speak.

"It's okay, it's okay, we'll get the tube out, you're okay."

The voice was nice and calm, so you found yourself calming down, too. When the tube was finally removed, you took in a good, deep breath. It felt like it was the first time you'd ever breathed.

It didn't last long, though, because right as you were getting to the full breath, a horrible, stabbing pain cut you short. You cringed and released the air, making it go away.

Your eyes opened up and you saw Bruce was your doctor. "How you feeling?" he asked, smiling. Bruce was the sweetest. He was the sort of unofficial team doctor, because he honestly didn't trust many others. Plus, he still wanted to be helpful to the team, and this was the least physically (and emotionally) taxing.

"Like I was shot three times," you said, your voice a bit scratchy.

Bruce chuckled as he checked a couple other things. He did a couple other basic exams like making sure all the reflexes worked and the classic eye exam. Covering all of the bases.

"What are all my injuries, doc?" you asked. "I know I have to have something other than the basic gunshot wounds."

Bruce hummed and opened up your chart. "Yeah, well, the GSWs certainly did their damage. Your most severe is from the one to your hip. It didn't quite shatter your bone, but it was damn near close to it. That's the one I really want to look out for- if it's not where I want it to be in a week, you can't leave.

"You also had a partially collapsed lung and a lot of internal bleeding. Some other small internal injuries, as well as some external cuts that were a breeze compared to everything. And don't worry- Tony brought in the best in plastics he could find, so you shouldn't scar too terribly if at all."

You smiled up at Bruce. "All right, now a week in here- at least. What about after that?"

"You'd have at least another six weeks of bedrest. And I mean bedrest the whole time, okay? Once that last week is up, then you can start slowly getting back into your training schedule. But I'll check in every week to make sure things are healing properly to keep you on a good schedule."

You thanked Bruce and, after one or two more tests and notes, he went ahead and left you.

There was a TV you could watch if you wanted to, the remote was right next to your hand, but you didn't feel like it. However, you also didn't feel like sleeping. You didn't quite know what to do.

And thankfully, you never had to figure it out yourself. Someone knocked at the door, and you looked over to see who it was.

There, standing in the door frame with his hand still resting on the open door, was Bucky. You were genuinely shocked to see him there.

"Hey," he said quietly. There was no distain or malice in his tone. He actually sounded kind of sorry and sad.

You sat up as best as you could. "Hi," you said back, your voice a bit quieter than his.

"Can I...?" He trailed off and made a small gesture towards a chair that was at the edge of the room.

You looked between the two. "Oh- oh, yeah, sure," you said as you nodded.

Awkwardly, Bucky made his way over to the vacant chair. At first, he simply sat down, but then looked at the vast distance between the two of you, and tried to move the chair closer but not right by your bedside, he deemed that too close.

There was a large part of you that wanted to joke, but all the humor got sucked out of you when you remembered that last conversation. So, instead, you just watched as he struggled to figure himself out.

Finally, he managed to find a spot about three feet away from your bedside. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"So...?" you started, waiting for him to fill in the reason for his being here.

"Right, yeah..." Bucky shifted the way he was sitting one last time. Then, he looked at you, then to the floor, and finally back at you with a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

The words completely took you by surprise, and the heart monitor you were attached to briefly mirrored that. But you didn't say anything, and simply let Bucky take the reigns of the conversation.

"I admit, I was pretty mad... okay pissed when I found... that out about the mission. Of course in the moment it didn't make sense to me, why you wouldn't save me... but I realized, I was thinking about now you. But, then you... of course you're right. You weren't ready. You getting killed wouldn't have done a thing.

"And I realize that's exactly what you were trying to tell me, before, but I admit I wasn't listening to you. Just my anger. And... because I was being a... well, a prick, you nearly died today. I hate myself for having that be what it takes for me to pull my head out of my ass."

Bucky sighed. At some point during his rant, his eyes were no longer on me. He finally remade eye contact with me. "I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I don't blame you if you can't forgive me."

"Well now, can I at least have a say?" you asked. He looked slightly confused. "Look, Bucky. What you said to me... it hurt. A lot. But I can understand why you said those things. I can't apologize for what I did back then, because it was the right move. I can apologize for not telling you sooner."

Bucky shook his head. "I didn't need to know. Like you said, it was the right move. And there's nothing we can do about it now. All I want is to try again with you, if- if that's okay?" Bucky asked.

You smiled. "I'd love to. Unfortunately, I'm going to be stuck in here for a while... so I can't really do much."

Bucky scoffed and adjusted his chair once more. He moved it over to be right beside you and then he went over and grabbed the remote. On his way back around, he adjusted the TV screen so it was closer to the two of you.

"Movie night?" he suggested. You smiled and nodded, letting him take the reigns.

After a minute of his searching and your random commentary, there was a long enough silence for you to say something. "Hey, Bucky?"

"Hmm?" he replied, still looking through the movies, but was definitely listening to you.

"Thank you. For saving my life, I mean."

He paused his search and looked at you with a sweet smile. "Of course. Even if I was mad, I could never..." The sentence ended there as Bucky shook his head.

"Still. Thank you."

"Of course, doll."

~Fin~

A/n: Yay! I like that this one ends happier because I like happy endings (this may be hard to believe with all the sad shit I write/post, but it is true!)

I really need to get working on stockpiling imagines, because February is about to he h e l l. I'm in this class called Production Lab where we basically work on all the theatrical performances my school does, whether it's pre-production or during the actual production. I'm on 'run crew' for the actual show- just one of the many being put on this semester. I'm working 60 hours from February 8-25, mostly from 6pm and later. I'm going to die.

But I got another campus job! Hopefully this means I'll actually make a bit more money lol

Any who, see you next week Lovelies!!!!!!!