Christmas Shopping
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Barton: Hey, who wants to go Christmas shopping with me?
Nat: I already went with Steve
Steve: Yeah, sorry Clint.
Barton: Y/N? Thor? Bruce?
Tony: Why didn't you say my name?
Barton: Because you're an atheist.
Tony: Yeah, so?
Barton: I didn't think you would celebrate Christmas.
Tony: It's still a good excuse to spend money and throw a party!
Barton: Well, then do you want to go Christmas shopping?
Tony: No. I'm a busy man, I don't have time for that.
Y/N: I'll go Christmas shopping with you Clint, I still need to get presents for Laura and the kids anyways so I could use your input.
Barton: Thank you, at least someone cares.
Thor: What is this Christmas you speak of?
Y/N: It's a holiday that we celebrate on Earth.
Nat: Like Tony said, it's just an excuse to blow your money on presents that nobody likes.
Steve: And decorate with pretty lights!
Bruce: Yeah. The parents tell their kids about a guy name Santa who breaks into your house and eats all your food.
Nat: Don't forget the watching you while you sleep part.
Thor: I don't think I enjoy this holiday.
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Y/N: Guys, you made Thor cry!
Tony: They're just bein honest.
Y/N: Ugh, one second...
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Nat: Where do you think she/he/they went?
Tony: ¯\_(¬_¬ )_/¯
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Y/N: Okay Thor, now that you're back, what they meant to say was that Christmas is a time for giving gifts to the people you care about and spending time with them.
Thor: But what about the man...Santa?
Tony: He's fat, jolly, and knows everything. He has a list too. You're on it.
Thor: WHAT?!
Y/N: Well, he has Naughty list and a Nice list. But, he's not really-
Thor: Wait! Does destroying city's and making Sokovia float count as Naughty?
Nat: I would say yes.
Steve: I mean-
Thor: What does this man do to those who are Naughty.
Tony: He steals their cookies and drinks their milk. *evil laughter*
Y/N: Tony! Stop!
Tony: Then he publicly embarrasses them by giving everyone else fun toys. And when you aren't looking...he puts COAL IN YOUR STOCKING!
Thor: NOOOOOOOOOO
Tony: Yes.
Bruce: Don't worry Thor, I'm sure you'd be on the Nice list.
Thor: What happens if you're on the nice list?
Bruce: Well, you get to have any present you could imagine.
Thor: ENDLESS POPTARTS?!
Bruce: Uhhh-I guess?
Y/N: I'm so over this conversation. 🙄
Thor: I will do whatever it takes to get on this Nice list!
Nat: It's not hard, you just have to be charitable.
Thor: YES! And if that doesn't work, I will find this Santa and MAKE him put me on the Nice list!
Y/N: I-okay.
Barton: Or you can start by going Christmas shopping with your friends.
Thor: I shall join.
Y/N: Cool.
Barton: What about you Banner?
Bruce: Eh, I don't know...Hulk in a small environment with tiny children and ladies fighting over discounts? Probably best to stay home.
Barton: Suit yourself
Thor: One question, shall I buy a present for Santa?
Y/N: Thor, he's not real.
Thor: What do you mean he is not real?
Y/N: I mean he doesn't exist, it's just a story...a tall tale.
Thor: I don't care how tall his tail is I want to be on the Nice list!
Y/N: Thor. It's fiction. Parents tell it to their kids to give them hope.
Tony: Or have free cookies.
Nat: Or trick them into going to bed early.
Y/N: Would you guys stop?!
Thor: I WAS PROMISED ENDLESS POPTARTS! I WANT MY ENDLESS POPTARTS
Tony: Too bad buddy.
Y/N: Thor, calm down. You'll have your poptarts!
Thor: I better, because if I don't then I'll invite my older sister to Christmas at Stark tower!
Barton: Okay, and? The more the merrier.
Thor: OHOHOHO. We'll just see.
Tony: See Thor, you're already sounding like Santa! Who needs the real one.
Y/N: Yeah okay, I'm gonna go. Barton you coming?
Barton: Yup.
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Thor: I shall follow them and join the festivities.
Tony: Whatever big guy, I got work to do. Science bro's unite?
Bruce: You need to stop calling us that.
Tony: Never.
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Steve: So between you and me...
Nat: Yeah?
Steve: What'd you get for Steve?
Nat:....
Nat: Do you think I'm an idiot?
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