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Jennie POV
21st July, 8:00pm
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"Five, six, seven, eight...

BLACKPINK, BLINKs, forever", we do the hand gesture together that Lisa just came up with. This probably is going to raise a haywire among the fans out there. A new thing to proudly show off themselves as BLINKs.

Lisa chuckles loudly right after we do it and with a high-pitched voice, she says, "Oh, thank you guys." Her chuckle keeps on running as if she finds it cute or funny. She makes me certain by muttering out loud "So funny," smiling through her gleaming eyes and wet lashes. After all, she has had a round of tears in this shoot. This girl cries when someone loves her, this girl cries when someone hates her. She's fragile; how an idol exactly should not be. She gives all her energy to people she wants to and by the end, she is left with nothing.

Pushing over all these useless thoughts, I discover myself being at where we are. The lights, the cameras, the people, the familiar faces around me.

"Cut!" the director Oh Yoon Dong yells for the fifth time in the past hour, but I am hoping that this is the last one by that smile he has on the corner of his lips. We patiently wait when director Oh Yoon Dong and director Jung Su Yee double checks the last scene together on the computer screen. It's interesting how their eyes look all bright in this unlighted, somber place. Rays of white fluorescent lights from outside suddenly look a lot brighter now that they have turned off the strobes.

I sneak a glance at the screen of the mini jumbotrons behind and around us. They have paused in the lowest brightness now. But look at it, what a bunch of great moments are living still in them.

Moments.

Memories.

Moments of four young girl's youth that have turned into their memories now.

But, I hate it. It makes me mad...and sad. I hate that they are captured. I hate that we can't go back to them again, that we can't turn back the time. But all that these shots can do is to make us think 'oh, we had a great time that day'. That's how everyone lives. But it's miserable and pathetic for me.

Or maybe I am the pathetic one.

"That's a wrap! Thanks to everyone" The director shouts with a hint of satisfaction in that sentence. The invisible wave of everyone's breath fills the room with relief. Soon, it vanishes into the air.

Some staff turns on all the normal building lights. The staffs who were holding the whiteboards at us almost breaks down for standing in one position for too long. Our individual managers and the chief manager come to help us bound down the stairs.

"Kamsahamnida" we thank everyone in general, syncing our voice together as we bow down. Everyone starts clapping to cheer for us and themselves. We slightly join in the round of applause. Making a movie is of course not as simple as it's shown on television. Showing our appreciation as well- we thank the directors, producers, camera operators, and other staff; the whole crew in one. Without them, this whole movie would have just remained like a daydream to the four of us.
*"Kamsahamnida" means "Thank you" [Origin- Hangul/Korean].

To be more exact, it isn't really a movie, more like a documentary but includes the scenes we shot from our concerts and daily lives to make it look like a movie. Don't know how the editors are going to add them though.

It isn't our first documentary, we had done one for Netflix sometime last year which is known as BLACKPINK: Light Up The Sky. But our agency wanted it somewhere for all of our fans, so it is going straight to the cinemas. Of hundred countries. Plus, we have barely appeared in the public eye, this 2021. It's been ages since we got our last comeback. But it doesn't bother us now because we've gotten used to it. We have to bear with this as long as are we in YG.

"Hey, unnie!" my mind startles back to the present with Lisa's voice. I find myself standing like a dummy. Lisa was waving her hands in front of my face and has stopped now. "Were you lost?" She asks with a genuinely confused look on her face.
*"Unnie" is a term used by females to address older females [Origin - Hangul/Korean].

"Just thinking," I reply getting a hold of my sense and shrugging out all the useless thoughts. I change the topic, "You suddenly reminded me of something" and we immediately share a mutual smirk.

"Are you lost babygirl?" We both say it in sync and rhythm. We burst into muffled laughter with hands covering our mouths to hide it from others.

"Are you going to stand there all day?" Jisoo shouts from the doorway standing with Rosé and managers, which distracts us from our joke. Lisa holds out a hand and I take it. We walk to them together while she keeps swinging my hand by hers.

_

Walking on the sidewalk of Poeun-ro street. The breeze hits half of my face harder as I walk faster, shutting my eyes close.

I open my eyes again. Everything looks desolate like it wasn't a few hours ago. The small buildings and shops around us are all calm and dimly lit. Few pedestrians keep on walking for their destination. Just like us. A few cars going over the limit since they have got an empty road. Street lights flicker a bit and insects circling around it feels oddly relaxing. The footsteps of eight feet on concrete rings deaf to my ear. Perfect with the air around me. The gratitude that I feel towards the noisy cricket can't be explained in words. Only if I could find it. Only if it could talk. I feel thankful for every little thing now. I just want to keep walking and never stop. Something about everything makes me feel sad and nostalgic but it's better that way.

The combination of sadness and nostalgia is enjoyable. This is it.
We're going for dinner. We decided to eat out for tonight. Just the four of us. Our managers insisted on coming but we boldly rejected it. Although, I don't know if we can assure our own safety but we deserve a little bit of freedom. Don't we? Moreover, the place we planned to eat at is not so far from the YG building, inside Hapjeong-dong. That's also sad because I wanted to keep walking. Looks like I have to stop soon.

It's not even winter but we're covered in hoodies and masks and whatnot. As long as we're unrecognizable, we can endure it. Although, mask is now more for safety from covid than anonymity. What are we even hiding from though? Everything here is quiet. Rosé decides to break the silence in the middle of my thoughts with her groaning, "I'm hungry. Let's go fast!"

"It hasn't been up to five minutes since we left the office building and you're already whining?" Jisoo scoffs side-eyeing Rosé. Her voice has that usual mockery in it. All of the eyes lands on Rosé for her reply.

"I'm on only two slices of bread and peanut butter today. What the heck does my hunger have to do with the time since living the building?" Her eyes widen like it's a serious issue.

"You're damn serious about eating. I curse you to gain some weight" I said stretching my hand holding the wrists and spinning it on left then right.

"I'll take that as a blessing" Rosé says after she lets a peal of small laughter escape her mouth. Whether it's a blessing or a curse, she is still not going to gain any weight. Her BMI is the lowest in the group. People almost mistake it as her being unhealthy but she's the healthiest person between us, to be honest. Sleeping, eating, yoga, singing and dancing, she's with all. People could only be jealous of her. Including us.

Lisa jumps on Rosé and peers her arm around Rosé's shoulder, after double-checking if someone is watching us or not. She has a teasing smirk on her lips that was on display thanks to her now pulled down the mask. She says with the most masculine voice she could make, "Rosé-ah, Do you wanna have some Rameyon with me?"

We laugh looking at her as she tries faking a masculine face now. Makes us laugh even harder. She can almost pass as a boy if she hides her identity. Her clothes, figure are all tomboyish. Although, you can say she's pretty much soft in character. But she pretends she isn't. And we don't have any problem on thinking like that because it's the way she gets strength and confidence.

I catch my breath after I finish laughing. We're already in front of the restaurant.

The small square-shaped glow signboard says "Ramura" on it. It's small as the size of my torso and placed beside the door. So, here we are. Our destination.
* "Ramura" is an actual roadside restaurant at Hapjeong-dong. The author does not claim any ownership of it. It's used in a fictitious manner.

Jisoo push-opens the door, lets us all go ahead of her and she slides inside last. Before the door closes, I see someone weird outside this restaurant. A seemingly male figure wearing all blacks walking like a ghost and taking something out from his pocket. I can't see anymore because the door gets closed right after that and Jisoo just shoves me inside. I have no business with that strange black figure to begin with.

The restaurant inside is kind of shady and dim like usual but the murmurs of the crowd make it livelier. Lisa elbows me and Jisoo, Rosé too, and points at a side of the wall. I am there. My advertisement for Soju. Wow. Meeting myself here is... unique.

"Popular woman" Rosé lightly teases me that gains a short amount of laughter from Lisa and Jisoo. And then a nod of approval that, I am, indeed, popular. I just laugh along. Embarrassing.

We sit at an empty table and soon a young woman of our age or younger, wearing almost dirty -with all foods and drinks on it- waiter uniform comes to us. Her eyes widen seeing us and we force out a smile suppressing the fear inside us. Four of us are thinking the same thing right now, 'no, not another sasaeng fan. Please, no. Please be a humble one or just not a fan.' The corners of her eyes crinkles. She smiles like an innocent blooming daisy.
*A "Sasaeng" or "sasaeng fan", is an obsessive fan who stalks or engages in other behaviour constituting an invasion of the privacy of celebrities, specifically of Korean idols/actors/public figures [Origina- Hangul/Korean].

"Are you real the BLACKPINK?" She gasps quite loudly, "I'm a big fan." She hands Jisoo the menu while trying to maintain eye contact with the four of us at the same time. This time, I smile genuinely. She seems harmless.

"Yes, we indeed are" Jisoo unnie says confidently. She leans closer to us and shows us the menu. The woman keeps smiling and now being shy adds to it.

The style of ordering dishes here is unique. You need to choose the size of the rameyon with whether you'll take chicken, chick or quail egg, then the type of the rameyon and finally beverage. After minutes of arguing among us, we decide to order bowls of spicy red rameyon with chicken. The woman takes our order and leaves. I spend quite a few minutes thinking about if I will be able to survive spicy rameyon without having a headache.

"What if our face gets puffy? From all this rameyon we ordered" Lisa cups her face, "mine is already like a balloon."

"Shut up. I could really eat a horse right now and you're talking about face? Just shut up" Rosé rolls her eyes deliberately. Here, I can't decide if that's a thing to even argue about. We have a day off tomorrow. A. Day. Off.

"That's not a problem. But, what about hangovers? Last time Lisa messed up herself, remember?" now Jisoo joins in too. Lisa's face falls off instantly. It still makes me laugh how she behaved after the last time we drank together. She had an extreme headache the next morning and was downcast all day. She took hangover pills, ginseng but nothing worked. At one point, she lost it and broke three flower vases at her house. Thankfully, it was her house and her property. But, I bet even her cats never broke that many things at once.

"Uh, unnie" Lisa whines holding that 'unnie' for a long time. She releases it and says, "Was it really important to remind me of that? That vases were precious to me." She doesn't say anything else but her face goes pale.

"Okay, okay...we have a freaking day off tomorrow, and do you guys really need to argue about faces and hangovers and vases?" I join in because I feel like I should, "I'm more worried if I'll be able to enjoy drinks after eating spicy rameyon."

"Now, you are talking about your headache. Irony at its finest" Rosé, the silent laugher of group conversation, says boldly to me. Jisoo and Lisa nod along. Tsk, they teamed up.

"But, I'm talking about the present and you were just sweating for an unreasonable future, don't you think?" I shrug prominently, raising my eyebrows.

"Can't disagree" Lisa spins her head straight and looks at a distance. Our conversation ends here for now. I take my phone out of my pocket and check the emails, messages, KakaoTalk, WhatsApp for the rest of the minutes of silence until the waitress comes back with our food. Nothing new here, I shove my phone back down my pocket and fly my eyes to the food. The same woman serves it and leaves after saying, "Enjoy your food!"

We nod our heads and thank her together. Everything's on the bowl. The chicken piece is huge. I don't know if I can eat the whole alone but can't wait to eat the soupy part. I sink half of my metal chopstick into it and mix the noodle and soup together. We all fix our food in not more than forty seconds.

"So, what should we talk about? Boys?" Jisoo takes the first bite among us. Here we start again, crying on our love life, admiring well-mannered dudes and trash-talking trashy men. Well, they include women too.

"Not interested. I am already thankful that I don't have to be with boys except for our sunbaes and hoobaes. I don't want to ruin that blessing with my sins that I'm gaining from spitting shits about crappy people" Rosé says and blows on the noodles on her chopsticks.
*"Sunbae" means "Senior" [ Origin-Hangul/Korean].
* "Hoobae" means "Junior" [ Origin- Hangul/Korean].

"But talking crap about crappy people. Is that counted as a sin?" Jisoo snaps, glancing at Rosé and then focusing on her bowl again.

"Yeah. Every shit does" comes out of Lisa's mouth sloppily as she had a mouthful of food inside.

From one topic to another. We gossip about everything that came to our minds. Our future comeback that we don't when will come out. Lisa's upcoming solo album and the proposal of collaborating with her that DJ Snake has given to YG. We don't if it will be approved by our agency but Lisa is happy. She really wants to do that. Later, that waitress comes to us for autographs. We keep our gossip on after she leaves. We also talk about how stupid we each act when we're drunk. We talk about how we miss being like this. Like right now. No loads on our shoulders, just peace and food.

We missed being like this. Especially after we left our dorm when the covid broke out.

We have finished almost all the bowls by the time we were talking. My head is spinning and my tongue is burning. This red rameyon can certainly make you a dragon. Why did we even bother to order this?

"You should have brought pills" Jisoo unnie scolds me as she wipes the top of the chopsticks with a napkin. I don't say anything. I take a napkin too and wipe my hands and mouth in a hurry. Then, drink a whole glass of water.

"I'm going out to get some fresh air" I say to them while standing up and fixing my hoodie and wristwatch.

"Come back soon, we didn't even start drinking" says Lisa. Her eyes tell that she's worried about me but she wants me to join them in drinking too. "Ah... and you can also get some painkillers from any pharmacy out here" she adds.

"Don't worry, I won't let you guys enjoy drinks without me" I say, assuring that I'll come back before the drinks.

I leave them, slide between other people and reach the doorway. I crack open it and step outside on the concrete pavement. I walk one or two feet ahead and stand there. The weather outside is calm and cool, a little cooler than before. But, it has gotten even quieter. My hands are sweaty but I don't take them out of my pocket. Rather, I cram them even deeper and close my eyes standing still. I stay there for three or four minutes, without moving an inch. I would have stayed there longer if the odor of cigarette smoke didn't enter my nose.

I open my eyes and it flies over to the source of the smoke and smell. Someone is standing there. A man. On my left, not too far from me. But, he's other way around. I don't see his face but I can see him wearing a black hoodie, black sweatpants and probably a Luis Vuitton sling bag hanging from his shoulder. He's probably the black figure from before. He looks like it. The smoke is coming from his side.

My eyes catch the sight of the board beside him. It clearly says "No Smoking Zone". I wonder if he's too uneducated to see it or just smoking beside it deliberately. Doing the opposite is coolness nowadays.

Not letting the thoughts of my safety take over me, I fearlessly step closer to him. He doesn't notice me. He's now kicking small stones that are on the ground. I get a glimpse of seven to eight dead cigarette butts which poke the sensitive part of my anger.

"Excuse me" I say but it escapes my mouth like a mutter. It wasn't loud enough for him to hear and he didn't reply or even turn around. I touched his shoulder a bit with my right hand and excused myself again. Enough loud this time. He half turns around saying, "Who? Me-"

He stops. We both stop. The time stops around us.

I get goosebumps as soon as my eyes meet his. Those eyes, those lips, that face... everyone knows. He is Jungkook of Bangtan Soneyondan.

We continue to just stare. In silence, we keep staring. In darkness, we keep staring. His smiley lips gradually goes down in every moment. A stupid part of me wonders if I'm something to steal away someone else's smile. And that thought, too, vanishes like the smoke around us. An incessant flickering cigarette peeks at me, hanging between his lips. It drops from his top lip as soon as the obscure, unknown smile fades away. But, did he ever even have a smile on those lips? Or was it just my imagination. Perhaps, it was real. Perhaps, it wasn't.

"K-Kim J-Jennie?" He stutters in his words, and all the silence around us shatters.

"Jeon Jungkook?" I ask in a surprisingly calm voice, and another moment passes.