Note from AuthorXGames:

This is my first time hosting, so I'm sorry that I'm not very good at writing you guys feedback. I've legit been study these feedback notes I've gotten in various games I've participated in to see what to write. I know I have some hosts that are participating in my games so if you could give me some feedback on my feedback, that'd be great. (Did that make any sense whatsoever?) Also, I'm terribly sorry for the delay, but please understand that these past couple of days have been extremely stressful and difficult for me due to... personal reasons. I'm just so sorry to all of you who I've kept waiting...

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Hidden Bonuses:

First To Hand In (Score +0.5) :

District 2 Female - Melody Hart - TheShineOfTheMoon

Thank you for handing in over a week before the deadline, it really is very appreciated.

Most Interesting Trap (Score +1) :

District 12 - Louis Whitmore - FandomLover07

I love the idea of images of loved ones in the ice, such a creative trap. Good job!

Most Interesting Solution (Score +1) :

District 7 Female - Skye McGill - annlu03

The solution to a mutt is riding it and then being thrown into the portal by it? Basically using it to your advantage. Badass and definitely interesting :)

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Scoring and Feedback:

District 1 Male - Faye Storie

No entry - 0/12

District 1 Female - Aleesha Gibbons

No entry - 0/12

District 2 Male - Brooklyn Fawkes

The one thing that really took away from your entry was the fact that you didn't make paragraphs. It was difficult to read and definitely didn't give the best impression. Some people overlook it, but good paragraphing is very important when it comes to writing. Other than that, you could change up your sentence structure a bit, as I notice you were starting a lot of sentences with 'I ... '. I also spotted some minor spelling mistakes so maybe proofread more? The descriptions were decent, but the traps were a bit unclear and characterisation was stiff. I just couldn't connect with Brooklyn well. Still, not a bad entry. Just remember to paragraph next time please. - 7/12

District 2 Female - Melody Hart

There were no noticeable grammar errors nor spelling mistakes, so I applaud you for your proofreading. The entry was fast paced and though the description could be worked on a bit. I mean it's pretty good already, but it lacked a bit of depth in my opinion. The one thing this entry truly lacked was characterisation and emotion, which I don't completely blame you due to my low word limit. Overall a wonderful first entry, and I look forward to seeing more of what you can offer. - 9.5/12 ( +0.5 for first entry ) - 10/12

District 3 Male - Glitch Patton

Dropped Out

District 3 Female - Fay Everett

What truly shined in this entry was definitely the characterisation. While it wasn't as jam packed with action as some other entries, I think that a strong characterisation is just as important, so good job. Description and emotion were other strong points in this entry. There were a few run on sentences that I spotted, but nothing a bit of extra proofreading wouldn't change. As I said, it lacked a bit of action, but overall a solid first entry. - 10/12

District 4 Male - Quinlan Cyril

A very interesting entry to say the least. While the description were all decent, the actual content had me scratching my head a bit. I definitely do appreciate a bit of silliness and humour here and there, but it was a bit overdone in this entry. I didn't get to see much of Quinlan's personality nor was there much action. This entry lacked depth, I guess that's the best way I can put it. Also, try and use other sentence structures as I see that you use 'He...' quite a lot. - 7.5/12 ( -2 for handing in late ) 5.5/10

District 4 Female - Maaike Stolburg

The descriptions were fantastic, and I really got to see the inner workings of Maaike well. I love the incorporation of "survivor's guilt" in the start, as well as the powerful ending. However, there was a significant lack of action in this entry, and yes I know this isn't bloodbath. Still, I was hoping for a bit of heart-racing action. There were one or two run-on sentences that I spotted, so maybe proofread a bit more carefully next time? Still, a very strong entry. - 10/12

District 5 Male - Cymric De Chel

You had me hooked by the first sentence, just wow... The similes were fantastic, the character depth was definitely there. The descriptions were impeccable and the monster in the mind thing was just an amazing idea, almost had best trap there. The balance between characterisation and action was done very well. Though very minor, I did notice that you start quite a few sentences with "I..." in some places. So just watch out for that. There is still of course room for improvement, still a very high standard entry. I cannot wait to see what you have up your sleeve next. - 11/12

District 5 Female - Janet Qiang

Janet's dedication to her ancestry is very interesting. Being a Chinese myself, I can't wait to see where you're going to go with that in future tasks. Descriptions were very pretty, and the entry was fast paced. There were a few run-on sentences that I spotted, but nothing major. There was also a bit overuse of exclamation marks in the end, and kind of took away the meaning of it, just watch out for that next time. Still, a very very solid entry. - 10.5/12

District 6 Male - Jasper Solangelo

The traps were creative, and I definitely enjoyed the touches of the past in this entry. Description and action was balanced pretty well. There were no notable grammar mistakes so good work.  The characterisation was deep, but it felt stiff. As in I just couldn't connect well with Jasper. Still, Jasper is an interesting character and I can't wait to see more of him. - 8.5/12

District 6 Female - Melanie Canyon

I loved the little girl - monster trap, so creative! The descriptions were all very nice, and I did get to see a bit of Melanie's character. However, you need to work on showing, not telling. This made the entry not very engaging. I also spotted one or two run-on sentences, but nothing major. Not a bad first entry, but of course there is room for improvement. - 8.5/12

District 7 Male - Logan Silva

No entry - 0/12

District 7 Female - Skye McGill

This entry had what your other entry lacked, and I found myself very engaged with Skye's character. The descriptions in this one were at an equally high standard. While the character depth was not as significant as Jaspar's, I felt more of a connection to Skye. Grammar was just as on point, and the creative traps were a strong asset as well. I cannot wait to see what you have up your sleeve next. - 9.5/12 ( +1 for most interesting solution ) - 10.5/12

District 8 Male - Logan Krassix

No entry - 0/12

District 8 Female - Lynia Krassix

No entry - 0/12

District 9 Male - Theodore Laurent

No entry - 0/12

District 9 Female - Evelyn Turner

No entry - 0/12

District 10 Male - Chase Ridd

This entry doesn't show me who Chase is as a person. It focuses mainly on what he's doing, and didn't give me much of an impression of Chase. You also need to work on showing me, moving me, making me feel emotions when I read. Still, it was not a bad start and honestly, I think you have all that you need to write a spectacular entry, just give more thought as to the balance of the entire entry. There were also a few places where I thought you didn't really need to use italics, so watch out for that. - 8.5/12

District 10 Female - Leviti Mason

I loved the fact that you decided to not start with the countdown and standard bloodbath things, but just jumped straight into the action. It was very refreshing to read. I also love that she's so proud of her heritage, it adds a certain depth to her character that I really enjoy. Again, watch out for where you're using italics, as some paces really didn't need the italics. Overall, it could have used a bit more characterisation, but still a solid start. - 9.5/12

District 11 Male - Rudy Steiner

No entry - 0/12

District 11 Female - Alicia Minami

A very creative entry, I liked the use of Christmas lights, unexpected and fun. The descriptions were well done and the action was as well, however, I didn't see much of Alicia as a character, so work on that next time. I thought that there was a slight overuse of italics, so be mindful of that next time. Still, definitely not a bad first entry. - 9/12

District 12 Male - Louis Whitmore

I enjoyed reading this entry a lot, it had a good balance of character depth and fast-paced action. I like how dedicated Louis is to Sierra and the baby, and I think you can do so much with that in future tasks. What you could work on is improving the description and giving me a sense of place in your entry. Overall, a strong start. - 9.5/12 ( +1 for most interesting trap ) - 10.5/12

District 12 Female - Emily Kastler

No entry - 0/12

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