•{The • Beginning}•

The girl wanted to be a bird.

To fly, to soar, to be free.

She wanted to go outside the walls surrounding her home, over the treacherous mountains, and away from the people who trapped her.

And one day, she became one.

She jumped off a windowsill and soared into the night. On her journey, she met many, but always left soon. She was not good for interaction. Her life stayed like that.

And yet, she was not the songbird that perches on a branch, but the eagle that narrows in for the kill.

Hunting, surviving, and eventually, thriving. Alone in the skies, and she liked it that way.

Until, one day, she did something different. She saved a little songbird that she could never be, from a monster. She took the blow for the songbird, and faced the price.

She was never the same.

A tear hit the paper, smearing the neat ink that had been penned in.

Mai tilted her head up and stared out the window. The lights of the Capitol shimmered, even at this hour. Another tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at her reflection.

She looked beautiful. And although she looked like she had it all, she was dying inside.

Once someone has altered your imperfections, done your makeup, chosen your outfit, done your hair, and directed you on how to live your life, there isn't much left of you.

And in this reflection, it wasn't her.

Mai didn't belong in the red dress or with her hair neatly brushed or her face looking so perfect. She belonged on the run, in torn pants and her hair in tangles.

She put her well manicured hand on the glass, and stared out. From here, she could almost see the woods where so much blood had been shed, and the last time she ever saw any of them.

Her friends.

She was the only one alive. None of them were still here. News had come in that Neha's body had been found, and was stick thin. Nearby, two mangled unidentified bodies had laid. After that, Mai had stayed in her room, still and not eating. She hadn't slept for days.

It was the concealer that covered the circles under her eyes.

"Mai," A shaky voice said.

A voice that haunted her dreams and tormented her thoughts.

Mai stood, and turned.

"Neha."

The Indian girls face was pale but filled with wonder.

"Mai, after the woods, I thought I'd never see you again," she blabbered, tears spilling over her lashes.

"Get out." Mai sharply said.

"Wha- What?" Neha gasps and steps back.

"Get out."

Neha's eyes widened as she stared at Mai's cold face.

"Mai, I thought that-"

"Get out!" the Asian girl screams and sends Neha fleeing out the door.

Listening to the sound of Neha's fading footsteps, Mai slumped into her chair, only to get up seconds later.

Goodbyes always work, the girl thought, and I never want them to. But the one time I want it to be the last goodbye, it isn't.

Mai walked into her bedroom, and into the en suite bathroom. She stripped out of her dress and stepped into the shower. Mai turned the knobs and felt the warm water hit her body.

The first warm shower she'd had in years without a sense of impending doom.

After pressing a button on the wall, the scent of lilies filled the air. The water.

With that button, it added a lily smelling body wash into the water. Then, a similar two-in-one shampoo and conditioner was sprayed into her dark hair.

Once she was satisfied, Mai stepped out of the shower and pressed a button on the wall. Hot air seemingly flew out of the wall and air blew her hair dry. More air hit her body and in seconds she was completely dry.

Mai stared at the closed bathroom door in front of her. It was some sort of wood, colored lightly with diamonds on the side. The sconces on the walls gave the room a warm look. The shower was ultra-modern, in the middle of the room. All glass, and water came down one of the walls. The sink was huge, with several cabinets underneath. A toilet was hidden in the corner, and a large linen closet held toiletries and towels. Why would one need a towel, living like this?

Mai swung the door open, with an iron grip on the cold handle. But a sharp pain filled her hand and she cursed.

She tripped back as she stared at her blood covered hands. Diamonds on the doorknob. What idiot came up with that?

Mai tripped back into the shower, which she had left the door open. Her back hit the glass and her eyes flew open.

Mai was no longer in the shower, but the Launch Room.

The Peacekeeper she attacked was glaring at her and shoved his baton through the handle on the door to her tube.

It's not like she could've gotten out anyways.

The Peacekeeper and stylist talked until the man got a call on his walkie talkie. He spoke into it, and pointed at the tube.

Mai should've been up by now.

And then... It came.

A purple smoke, one that filled her lungs and blinded her eyes. Vomit rose in her throat as whatever was in the smoke started racing through her body. She wanted to choke.

No, she wanted to scream.

But she couldn't. The smoke clogged her airways and seemingly destroyed her vocal cords.

Mai banged her fists on the tube, crying. Every time a tear slid out of her eyes, the smoke would burn her eyes.

It hurt when she moved or breathed or even thought.

Eventually, she gave up.

She slumped against the tube, with her eyes closed. Almost sleeping.

And it stopped.

Once she could see again, she saw that the Peacekeeper was staring at her, as if to say "There's more where that came from."

Inhaling sharply, Mai looked around.

She was still in the shower, and there were voices coming from her bedroom. Random, mysterious voices that jumbled together. Although, one thing was clear- Neha's voice was not part of the jumble.

"Go away," Mai croaked.

"We heard screams and cries and just had to come check on you!"

"Let us in!"

"Get out!" Mai half snarled.

Eventually, the voices faded and she was alone.

Mai stood up and walked to the door. Carefully, she pulled the door open and walked to her closet. Inside were maybe 60 pairs of pajamas alone. That's more outfits than she ever had on the run.

She picked out a pair of plaid flannel pants and a random grey t-shirt. Slipping both on, she climbed over to the massive, king bed in the center of the room.

Mai pulled up the covers and fell asleep, peacefully.

~:The Dream:~

But of course, her dreams were nothing but peaceful.

It started easy.

A photo album sat on her lap.

The first couple pictures were her parents together, on their wedding day, on dates, happy occasions.

Mai's mother was a spitting image of Mai herself. The same dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin. Her father was taller and leaner, similar to Mai. She looked exactly like what a daughter should look like.

Mai stumbled across an invitation to a baby shower.

Mine, she thought.

Her eyes skimmed the paper.

You are invited to celebrate the birth of

**********

On ************ at *****

RSVP to George Li and Marie Shang-Li

Mai's name was completely blocked out, like she never existed. The next picture was an MRI scan of what would be a baby. But instead, there was just black. Another picture, her parents smiling at a little bundle of cloth. No baby inside.

Family portraits. Birthdays. Holidays. She was missing from every single one.

It was like she never existed.

There was another picture.

One of a girl who was smaller than Mai, with the same hair and eyes. The girl was smiling as she held hands with Mai's parents.

They had another baby.

They were always afraid of you...

Mai jerked her head up as the voice that haunted her returned.

Every time they looked at you, dear filled there eyes...

Paralyzed, Mai couldn't speak.

Don't you think that every day, they thank the gods that their new child is normal?

She closed her eyes in an effort to stop the noise.

Oh, what a bad decision that was.

When Mai opened her eyes again, she was standing in front of a door.

Open it....

The voice hissed in her head. She put a hand on the doorknob.

The white door swung open and Mai found herself looking at her old room.

Walking in, she put her hand on the wall. The room didn't look like hers. But it was.

Instead of green walls, there were blue ones. White sheets instead of gold ones. No more pristine white tables and dressers, but mirrored surfaces that reflected everything.

Turning her head to look at the bed in the corner, Mai stared at the girl sleeping in it. Above the girls' bed was the letter 'J', and a mural of words, with the name 'Julia' in the center.

Julia.

The sister she never knew that she had.

Kill her.

Mai's head snapped up and she stepped back. She didn't want to kill the girl.

Kill her and you'll be free of this.

Free of this?

Finally.

Mai took a plate filled with jewelry off the girls' dresser. She pushed the jewelry aside and snapped the plate in two. With one of the shards in her hand, she walked to the sleeping figure.

Julia snoozed softly, her chest rising and falling slowly.

Mai raised the shard over her head and closed her eyes.

As she brought it down, the girl awakened.

Julia screamed at the top of her lungs.

Her scream shattered the mirrors, and out of them, water flowed.

Mai stepped back, and slipped in the water.

Expecting her back to hit the floor, she relaxed. But it didn't.

Mai sunk down, farther and deeper, until the room was just a hazy dark blue blur.

Realizing that she couldn't breath, Mai swam to the surface.

She was in the woods.

The girl climbed out of the pond she had been in, and looked around. This was one of her favorite spots to hide.

A small smile creeped on her face. She stood and wrung out her hair. But loud voices and the thundering hooves of horses stopped her.

Mai took off, running in a random direction. Her feet pounded on the ground. And yet, no matter how far she went, the voices always seemed right behind her... Or in front of her... Or on either side of her.

They had her surrounded.

She stopped in a hollow and watched as the people advanced. Slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, they marched forward.

Mai closed her eyes as the army got within a foot of her. She could feel the men's hot breath on her face. Hands reached out to her, and she was grabbed in every direction.

And then she soared.

Right out of their grasp, she flew into the air, up, up, up.

But what goes up must come down.

Mai was falling.

She was falling into a crowd.

Several hundreds of people gathered and stared at one bejeweled woman. Girls on one side, boys on the other.

The Reaping.

Mai landed standing perfectly, right where she was on Reaping day.

Lori, the merchants daughter was called up.

Tears in her young eyes, she stood and faced the crowd.

Lori's father searched the crowd, looking for the brave girl he had met minutes before.

Mai began to raise her hand, and was about to Volunteer.

No sound came out. Her arm wouldn't move.

Lori stayed up, along with Hai.

Every day, Mai would sleep in the square. She needed to see what happened to the girl she didn't save.

Lori was good.

She knew her plants and animals very well, so she immediately headed for the jungle.

She would hunt at night and sleep in the day.

On day two, she made four kills.

Poison in the bread, poison in the water, poison in the neck.

Anything that would allow her to get home.

But one day, she faced an opponent much to strong.

The opponent forced dirt down her throat and injected poison into her neck. He cut her stomach and bruised her face.

Lori died.

Once she was gone, Mai could move.

She stood up, and solemnly walked through the crowd.

She found the florist, Lori's father.

His eyes were red as he shook violently. He made eye contact with her.

"You could've saved her."

*[The Awakening]*

Mai sat up straight, panting and sweating. She ran her fingers through her hair and decided to get dressed. As she passed one of the mirrors on the wall, she realized that she looked like herself- battered, crying, and broken. Much better.

She walked to her closet and pulled out the first thing that caught her eye: a black shoulder shirt, black jeans and combat boots. Surprisingly, they had dark and normal things in the bright Capitol.

As she put on the shirt, she realized that there was a scar going from just above her hip, across her chest, and ending on her right collarbone. How the hell had she not died?

Her chest must have been cut open. And no one, not even her, could survive that.

"Mutt attack," a voice said.

Mai turned, and raised her fists.

"Relax sweetie, I'm not going to hurt you," the voice, who belonged to her father, said.

She let her guard down. "Daddy?" Her shaky voice echoed in the room.

"Yes," her father said with open arms, "it's me. Come here, and we can go home. You can forget this and live your life, back in China."

Go...

Mai stepped forward, but then shook her head and stepped back. "I'm not going with you."

"Mai, please." Her father pleaded. "Come home."

"Daddy, you're not real. You're not really here..." Mai said, trying to convince herself of it.

"Yes, I am. Please, just take my hand," her father trembled and reached out, "just take it."

Take it, go. You know you want to go home.

Mai shook her head. "No. It's an illusion. You're not real. You're not real!"

As she screamed the last word, the image of her father shattered and Mai, with a desperate look on her face, fell to the ground.

She put her hand on the floor and the other on her forehead. Mai was breathing rapidly, barely able to stay still.

All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sob. She didn't deserve this. She was just a girl.

Maybe a mean, cold and dark looking girl, but a girl all in all.

And on the inside, she was dying. Dying and longing for someone just to hold her and say that they loved her and kiss her forehead and keep her safe.

She was longing for affection.

Mai had never needed it before, and never wanted it either.

With a shaky, broken breath, she stood and stumbled to the door. She put her hand on the doorframe and leaned against it. Then, Mai continued to the door that would take her out of the apartment.

Before she exited her living quarters, she took a deep breath. She had to look as normal as possible. Mai grasped the door handle and swung it open.

<-The - Death->

After stepping forward, several people ran to her. Misplaced people, ones she didn't know. But finally, a thing girl managed to get by.

Without saying a word, she clasped a plastic bracelet around Mai's wrist.

Mai jerked her hand back, and looked at the bracelet.

Mai Li - 18 - Emotionally Unstable

She clawed at the bracelet, trying desperately to get it off. She wasn't some mental patient wanting to get better, she was a victim of the twisted Capitol. Big difference.

The girl who clipped it on her wrist shook her head as if to say It won't come off. Mai glared at her, but the girl held her gaze. Impressive.

Mai stormed off, towards the center of the base. Code access only.

Her hand went to her side, where a weapon is usually kept. Nothing.

They took her weapons.

Mai wanted to scream.

Nothing was going right.

The door to the main room opened and there stood Elysia. One of the leaders of the Rebellion in the Capitol, Mai had met her briefly before passing out when she arrived in the Capitol.

"Mai, my dear. So great to see you out of your room," Elysia said with a bright smile.

"Yeah, sure. Can I see the plans?" Mai hurriedly asked.

"Actually, we had something... Different planned today," Elysia's smile faded as she ushered Mai into the room.

There was a large round table in the center, with several holograms popping up. Mai was brought past those, to a small group of girls.

The Tributes and Capitols surrounded a black haired women wearing a hijab, on her knees. Tears were spilling out of her eyes. She stared at the barrel of a gun, and she suddenly stopped crying.

"You don't have to do this," she said, trying to steady her breathing.

The man, slightly shaken, loosened his grip on his gun.

"Oh Esmerelda. How I wish that were true," he pulled the trigger and the girl collapsed on the ground.

Luna screamed and buried her head in Berenice's shoulder, while Berenice was frozen in shock. Neha was shaking, and Mai realized that she was the only one truly okay with death and seeing people die.

Elysia walked up to the man and put a hand on his arm.

"Bartholomew... The announcement," Elysia cleared her throat.

"Right! The announcement!" Bartholomew sung and turned to face the group, "Our lovely guests! I am Bartholomew, the leader of this branch of Rebels! And my partner, Elysia."

Bartholomew and Elysia began to walk to one of the sides of the room, and the group followed. Once they got to a side that had four doors, they stopped.

"You will each be told to stand in front of a door. Neha and Mai, you will have the door that says 'AM' on it. Berenice, you will have the one that says 'KS' on it, and Luna, you will have the one that says 'DM'," Bartholomew ordered.

"What about the one that says 'EK'? Shouldn't someone get that room and we'd all be in our own?" Berenice perked up.

"Well, my dear Berenice, if you enjoy being in a room that belonged to the girl you just watched murdered, be my guest," Bartholomew coldly said.

Berenice placed a hand over her mouth and her eyes began to water.

The girls stood in front of the door, waiting. Nothing happened.

Then suddenly, the doors slid open and they were all pushed into the room.

:-The Meeting-:

Room was not the right word for this space. It was a hallway.

One end was the door they came in, and the other said 'DANGER: NO ENTRY' in big letters.

Great.

Neha banged both her fists on the door they came in, but it didn't budge. Soon after, the power in the hallway went out.

A scream could be heard. Probably Berenice.

"Calm down!" Bartholomew's voice cackled over an intercom, "You all must follow my instructions. Walk to the end of the tunnel. The door will open for you."

Neha and Mai walked to the end, and sure enough, it opened.

The light was dark in the room ahead of them. A figure sat at a table and their head was down. As the figure looked up, the lights flickered on.

"Amy?"

Amy March's hands were in shackles and her eyes were hollow. Her already pale skin looked grey and her red hair had lost color.

Mai locked eye contact with the ex-Gamemaker, and pulled a chair out from the table. She sat and folded her hands on the table. Neha did the same.

Minutes of this went by, until she couldn't take it.

Mai leaned forward and whipped her hand at Amy's shirt. She pulled the women closer and glared into her eyes.

"Why?" Mai asked, "Why?!"

"Mai! Stop!" Neha yelled, and grabbed her wrist.

Mai lost the grip on Amy and fell back.

"You know, I never liked you. It was Kat who did. I, on the other hand, like Miss Bhavsar," Amy simply said.

"Why did you do it? Why did you try to make our lives horrible?" Mai cried.

"Because, it was the only way to get my anger out,"

At this Mai lost it.

"That's all we were?! Little toys for you to destroy?!"

She threw a lamp that was on the table down, kicked her chair, and took out her earrings.

The throwing star ones.

Mai threw them, glazing over the women's head. Amy say still.

The door to the room was kicked down, and Mai was grabbed.

"All you cared about was yourself!"

Mai elbowed the guard in the stomach and took a piece of the lamp. She hit him in the head with it until he was unconscious- or dead.

She then sat herself down at the table and watched Neha's conversation.

"Why did you become a Gamemaker?"

"To get my anger out. But because I was also able to see beauty in everything. For example, if you see an ugly looking plant, I make it the antidote to poison. And that gorgeous, red apple you saw was the source of the poison," Amy simply said.

Neha nodded, taking in the information.

"Why did you try to hurt us?"

"I had to. It was my job to make your life as challenging as possible. And it was quite entertaining," Amy cracked a smile and Neha glared at her.

"Why- why did you do that to me?" Mai croaked and looked up.

"Do what, my dear?" Amy picked at her chipped nail polish.

Taking a stuttered breath, Mai said, "The hallucinations. Why?"

Amy's eyes filled with sorrow.

"That... That it the one thing I truly regret doing. Esmer wanted to do it. I told her not to, but she convinced me. I had no idea... No idea that it would-" Amy whispered.

"No idea that it would make me mentally insane? Amy, I've been dying inside my head for the last month because of you and your stupid hallucinations. I saw the face of everyone I've killed, lived through their deaths, seen my family torn apart, nearly killed by demons- all because of you. Demons don't live under our bed, the live inside our head! They kill us and cripple us and I've kept them locked up into your stupid hallucinations," Mai sobbed, tears overflowing her eyes.

The first time she had truly admitted how much that hallucination had affected her. That it plagued her every day and filled her dreams every night. It slowly choked her and filled her head with smoke. It convinced her that she was living somewhere else and that everything would be alright if she just listened to the nightmare. If she just took the outstretched hand of the smiling demon and leaped into the world of the dead. Of course, she'd also die. Stuck in an eternal sleep.

The crying girl felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up.

Neha was looking down at her, and embraced her in a hug.

The girls hugged as tears spilled out of Mai's eyes and Neha wiped them away.

After a couple minutes, Neha stood and sat in her chair once again. Mai did the same.

Mai was staring at the Gamemaker as she asked her final question.

"What... What made you so miserable in life that caused you to want to run a game that featured murder and killed so many?"

The woman swallowed. "It is-was an art. A form of acceptance in the Capitol. An accepted job to have. And once I turned 12, much like the Reaping, I was enrolled into the Gamemaker Academy. I flourished there and rose above the ranks. And I learned to love it. No one would hire me for any job since I was one of the best in the Academy. People feared being punished because if they hired me, my talent would go to waste," a tearful Amy recalled.

"So the only reason you turned to Gamemaking was because you had no other choice?" Neha asked, her voice soft.

"Yes. No one has been able to understand how hard my life has-" Amy began.

"Hard? You have spent your entire life living in the Capitol, with anything you ever wanted at your fingertips. Neha, she doesn't deserve your compassion," Mai snarled, malice in her dark eyes.

"No, Mai, stop. This is exactly what happened at the camp, you became so jealous and-" Neha started.

"I didn't become jealous, I was trying to protect you! Compassion is weakness. It will, and I promise, will kill you in the end. She's using you," Mai begged her to stop.

"No, I refuse. You know nothing about compassion. You've never had it and never will," Neha gasped as she realized what she said. "Mai, I'm sorry and-"

"What did you do?" Mai screamed at Amy, who had a smug smile on her face.

"My dear, I did nothing except for help her realize who you really are. A monster and a killer."

Mai punched the woman and felt hands constrict around her neck.

A needle was jammed into her neck and all went still.

||The Call||

Mai was laying on a couch when she woke up. The others were around her and Elysia was talking with Bartholomew in the corner.

Once they saw that all the refugees were fully awake, they rushed to the center of the room.

"Guests! Today is the day you return to your homes!" Elysia announced.

The girls looked around in shock. Luna gasped and Berenice started crying tears of joy. Neha sat in shock while Mai simply rested her head on a pillow.

"But before you return, we have a special treat," Bartholomew said and took over the conversation.

"I have four phones. Each phone has a loved one on the other line. You have five minutes to call," the man announced as he distributed the phones.

As soon as Berenice received hers, she gasped and said, "Alec?"

Luna started repeating the name 'Glitter' and held the phone like it was her lifeline.

Neha immediately started crying and said, "Mom, yes mom I'm alive."

The girls ran out of the room, eager to talk to their loved ones.

Mai, on the other hand, sat on the couch as Bartholomew approached her. She had no loved ones, no one who cared about her.

"Mai, someone wants to talk to you."

He placed the phone in her lap and hurried out of the room, Elysia on his heels.

Carefully, Mai lifted the phone to her ear. Static crackled in her ear and she winced. Once it cleared, she half whispered, "He-Hello?"

"Mai," a voice gasped.

"Mom?!" Mai shrieked as she heard her mothers voice for the first time in years.

"Yes Mai, it's me. I- I thought you had died in the woods but then you got Reaped and then I thought you died in the explosion but the people in the base called me and- And I'm so glad you are alive," the jumbled words spilled out of her mothers mouth.

"Mom- I-I," she wanted to say something heartfelt, but instead, she said, "do I have a sister?"

Her moms voice faltered. "Yes. You do. Her name is Julia and she is a spitting image of you."

"I know," Mai answered without thinking.

Her mother caught her breath. "Mai, how do you know?"

"I- it's hard to explain. I promise I'll tell you when I return. It's getting hard to hear and-" Mai began making static noises with her mouth and slammed the phone down.

Then, she walked into her room.

{The ^ Hovercraft}

Mai woke up the next morning in her room, stripped of any furniture or decorations.

The only furnishings left were her bed and nightstand. On her nightstand sat a carefully folded up note that she had written the night before.

There was a large clock that was permanently stuck in the wall. The hands read 9:45. Anyone wanting to go home must be there at 10:00. Which left Mai 15.

Rolling out of bed, she groggily stumbled to her closet. Mai pulled out the only thing left in the closet, which was a pair of black jeans and a grey shoulder shirt with a pair of black high top sneakers.

Once she was dressed, she smoothed out her hair and grabbed the note as she sprinted out of the door.

Maneuvering the maze of a base was proving to be harder than usual. Luckily, it was only 9:50. 10 more minutes.

Mai first ran into a boiler room. Then storage. Finally, she accidentally ran into someone's bedroom. That was awkward. How she ended up in a resident wing, she'll never know.

After a little asking around, she finally made her way to the center of the base with five minutes. Mai ran inside the slowly closing door and nearly crushed Berenice.

"Umph!" Berenice gasped as she tripped.

"Berenice! I'm so sorry! I was in a hurry..." Mai's voice faded as she realized everyone else in the room was standing still.

Bartholomew caught the attention of everyone in the room, and announced how this would work. Capitols would fly first, then Tributes. They had five minutes to say goodbye. Mai stared at the note in her hand. The, looked at Neha. The note. Neha. The note. Neha.

Mai briskly waked to a guard in the room. She whispered the instructions into his ear. In two minutes, he was ti give the note to Neha. He nodded and Mai ran from the room.

She found a stairwell and took the steps two at a time. Mai found herself at the roof. After making sure no one was there, she ran to the edge. Neha should be coming up, if she followed the instructions in the note.

Mai heard footsteps over the wind, and placed both heels at the edge. If she slipped, she'd die.

The door swung open.

Mai leaned back.

As the girl fell, she stared up at the sky.

Neha's hair hung in front of her face as she screamed for Mai to come back.

With a grim smile on her face, she closed her eyes.

This is my happy ending.

END

THE STORY OF MAI LI