[ex silentio]

In her head, Tessa was lost at sea. She was soaked to the bone, treading water amid the choppy obsidian waves that sent her underneath the surface each time. She spat saltwater from her mouth, looking towards the horizon for any sign of safety. Thunder rumbled above her head, dark pearly clouds that would have been beautiful if they didn't threaten her life. Tessa took a shaggy breath, her throat burning from the salt, and braced for the worst.

Lightning struck, and just like it always did, Tessa found herself plunged into a memory of her own making. For a blink of an eye, she was on a bloody battlefield, watching from above as mines erupted, arrows fired, and her friends ran for their lives. And then just like that she was back at sea, screaming at the top of her lungs.

She'd been lost for days, months, years. Maybe she'd been lost for her whole life, she wasn't sure. All she knew was the water that surrounded her and used to flow through her veins, the storm above her head that used to fuel her heart.

"Tessa..." A soft voice like a siren's song pierced the rumbling thunder, and for just a moment, the sky lightened.

Tessa snapped to attention, looking around wildly for any sign of where it had come from. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. She hadn't heard another voice aside from her own for so long.

"Tessa..."

As thunder echoed through the sky, Tessa looked around, her heart pounding. "Where are you?"

"Tessa, you have to swim. Swim to the shore."

Tessa, incredulous, responded, "But there is no shore."

As if in response, lightning struck again and Tessa tensed, waiting for the electricity to rip through her body. But instead, it arced across the sky, touching down in the distance on...land. A sandy shore with canoes docked across it and a Greek warship.

With a pang, Tessa recognized that beach. Fireworks Beach. Camp Half-Blood.

Suddenly energized, Tessa kicked towards the shore, fighting the current and the choppy waves. Her muscles were screaming, her head was aching, she wanted nothing more than to just float and sink until she was nothing more but a whisper on the tides but she kept fighting. Waves knocked her below the surface, disorienting her, but she kept going. Some tether formed between her soul and the shore, strengthening the longer she swam.

Tessa kicked back to the surface, spitting out water. She looked back to Fireworks Beach, and frowned. It looked hazy, like some sort of vision. Without the lightning illuminating it directly, it looked dark, desolate. The figures of campers in the distance seemed blurry, like they were wearing dark cloaks. The water she was swimming in that should have been the crystal waves of Long Island Sound turned murkier, muddier. An object floated past her and when she picked it up, it was a torn high school diploma. Tessa shivered and tossed it back into the water.

The storm seemed to pass, and as the waves let up, Tessa finally reached the sandy, obsidian shore to realize she was somewhere she'd only ever been once before: the shores of the River Styx in the Underworld. But the waters of the Styx had magical abilities, the power to bestow the Achilles curse. So why did she feel fine?

I'm dead, then, Tessa thought as her heart sank to her stomach. This was all for nothing.

"Not so fast, Tessa," The voice she'd heard out at sea was much clearer now, and tickled at her brain. Tessa turned and saw that the figures she'd seen were not campers, but ghouls on their way to the Underworld. They crossed over to the other side until one figure was left: a teenage girl of about sixteen with long, wavy chocolate brown hair tied into a braided ponytail. She was dressed in a black -tshirt, with dusty dark-wash jeans, and combat boots. There was a black leather sheath on her forearm where a Celestial Bronze dagger rested, and a sword's scabbard hung at her waist, the turquoise embezzled hilt glinting in the low light.

Tessa's breath hung in her throat, her lips parting in shock. "It can't be..."

"Oh, but it is, and if you want a way out of this madness, I suggest that you get up, dry yourself off, and follow me." The version of herself from five years ago retorted, folding her arms across her chest.

Tessa didn't move; she just blinked. "How...?"

Her past self sighed, patience fraying. "When Deimos stabbed you through the heart, you died. However, thanks to the Gods, you were held in limbo until they decided whether or not it was worth actually letting you cross over or not. They brought you back to life, but little did you know that part of you did in fact die that day."

"And what part was that?" Tessa asked, wringing out her ratty t-shirt. Her clothes were nowhere near dry, a situation she'd never encountered before as a daughter of Poseidon that could will herself immune to water.

"The part of you that hoped," Her past self said softly, her green eyes averting to the polluted waters of the River Styx. "The part of you that wished, and hoped, and dreamed. Because once you were dead, none of that mattered anymore."

Tessa followed her past self's gaze to the water she'd crawled out of, landing on the ruined remnants of people's past dreams. This was a river of desolation, so what did that make her? A girl who swam through its destruction, believing it to be the path to her home.

"So, what, are you a ghost, then? Am I back in time to when I died?" Tessa asked.

Her past self shook her head. "I'm just a memory. You're not really in the Underworld, Tessa. Currently, you're in a coma in a hospital bed in the infirmary of Camp Half-Blood. No matter where I take you, you won't really be there. But hopefully, the effect will be the same."

"And where do you plan on taking me?"

"To all the instances of your life that shaped you into the person you are today. You need to see, Tessa. You need to see, and remember."

Tessa wasn't sure what to say. All she was sure of was that this was a break from the storm, from the madness, and if it would help her out of it...

"Let's go," Tessa said, her voice surprisingly confident.

Her past self smiled ever so slightly, and behind her, a light began to shine. It overpowered Tessa's vision, and she shut her eyes and looked away. When she opened them, she was no longer on the rocky shores of the River Styx. Instead, she was in a gymnasium lined with green bleachers. Sneakers squeaked across the polished hardwood floor, and along the cinderblock walls were mascots and names of other schools and teams. Her old middle school.

"I haven't been back here for years," Tessa breathed, looking around. A group of roughly thirty eighth-graders were darting around, balls in their hands. They flew through the air, and a whistle blew. With the cheers of the opposite team, those that had been out ran back into the game.

That's when Tessa spotted herself among those sprinting back into the game. She looked so young, barely a teenager at thirteen. Clad in a gray t-shirt and black gym shorts, she tightened her ponytail and snagged a ball from where one was rolling towards her. She launched it through the air, reveling in the fact that it hit a kid on the opposite team.

"Surely, you know what happens next," Tessa's past self said at her side.

Tessa bit her lip. Of course she did, but to her memory, it wouldn't happen for at least a few more minutes. The kids would head out to the locker rooms, and seeing as Tessa had volunteered to stay and clean up, she'd be the only one in the gymnasium when--

"Can't they see us?" Tessa asked, turning her head to look at where her past self stood beside her.

Her memory shook her head. "Like I said before, we're not really here. Now watch, or you'll miss it."

Tessa turned her focus back to the game just as it ended, with Tessa's team cheering in victory. The coach blew his whistle and sent the kids to go get changed. Twenty-nine students fled the room, and with the coach's permission as he headed to his office, Tessa stayed behind. She jogged over to the empty cart in the corner, beginning to wheel it around the gym, when a low growl echoed through the gym.

The young version of Tessa stopped what she was doing, looking around with a frown on her face. She dismissed the noise warily, continuing her clean-up, when the same growl echoed, louder this time. Tessa stopped, automatically suspicious. She grabbed a ball from the cart in defense and carefully padded across the gym.

Tessa's stomach clenched as she watched her young self cross to the gym. From where she and her memory self stood, they could see the smoke beginning to form on the side of the bleachers that young Tessa couldn't see. And then just like that, Tessa screamed as the Hydra emerged from the Mist, snapping its many heads and spewing fire across the gym.

Tessa leapt out of the way, hyperventilating. The monster barreled towards her, shrieking, and Tessa had just enough nerve to dart to the opposite side of the gym, stumbling to where the water fountains were. She tripped in her panic, skidding against the wall, and she watched in horror as the monster raced towards her. One head reared back, and as her young self held out a hand and turned away, Tessa knew what was happening within her young self as the building began to shake.

Suddenly, the water fountains erupted into a tidal wave of water, rushing to Tessa's defense in an amorphous wall as the Hydra breathed out fire. To her young self's shock, the water was substantiated to her whim. She looked to her trembling hand, and in what she'd later learn would be her battle senses kicking to gear, she held out her other hand, pushing the wall of water further and further back.

"That was the first time you'd ever used your powers," Tessa's memory self said at her side. "From this point forward, your mother told you the truth about your parentage, and began to train you with everything she knew to defend you on your way to New York."

Tessa nodded once, watching as the Hydra dissolved into golden dust. "This was the end of life as I knew it."

"You were born to be a hero, Tessa. No average halfblood could defeat a Hydra without any sense of battle training. That was sheer will and strategy that you exhibited there, two of your finest traits." Her memory self said. "What happened?"

Tessa bristled, her eyes locked on the younger version of herself staring at her hands and shaking. The monster was gone, but the kids and teachers had come out and began to wonder why the gymnasium was covered in water and how Tessa was perfectly dry.

"What else do you have to show me?" Tessa turned to her memory self.

Her memory self-pursed her lips, clearly dissatisfied with Tessa's avoiding the question, but nodded. "We're going to fast forward a bit, to your seventeenth year. To a moment where you realized just how severe this whole demigod thing really was."

Tessa's memory-self headed towards the gymnasium door, and partially confused, Tessa hurried after her. "Can't you just do your little snappy light thing?"

As her memory-self pushed the double doors open, she shot Tessa a look. "If you'll care to retain the knowledge this time, these are all your memories. This isn't really your school, it's just a manifestation of your memories."

They started walking down the hallway that led from the gymnasium and fine arts wing over to the academic portion of the school. As they passed what would have been the main office, Tessa peered through the glass and saw herself standing on the fireworks beach at Camp Half-Blood, a glowing green trident above her head. When they passed a classroom, Tessa spotted herself, Dale, Reese, Mark, and Kaden embarking on the quest to retrieve Deimos' sphere of power.

Finally, her memory-self grabbed the door knob to a classroom and pushed it open. Tessa stepped through and found herself standing in a cobblestone square, watching as plumes of obsidian smoke rose through the city she was in. New Rome.

Tessa whirled to face her memory-self, who was leaning against a pillar. "Why would you take me here?"

"Because this was the first time someone died at your feet," Her memory-self flicked her sea-green gaze at her.

"Mark died," Tessa tried, but her memory-self shot her a look. "I can't watch this and be powerless to stop it."

"Well, you are. This is a memory. Now you need to learn from it." Her memory-self nodded to the city square, where a figure was clambering up the figures of the Trevi Fountain replica. Immediately follow, six other demigods ran into the square, armed and ready: Tessa, Kaden, Reese, Sophia, Jett, and Mallory.

Tessa's heart constricted as she watched Vinny summon the drakon, to which Kaden began to fight. She watched as monsters formed at Vinny's command, and as the group of six demigods began to fight. She and her friends had annihilated the monsters, but as soon as they were gone, it was just her and Vinny as he aimed an arrow right at her heart.

Tessa remembered what she'd begun to do while Vinny contemplated how best to kill her in that moment. She'd kept Vinny talking, all while building up pressure in the fountain that the traitor was standing in. It would have been a perfect move, had she been quick enough.

It was as painful to witness a second time around. The arrow flew towards Tessa, and before she could run out of the way, a figure darted in front of her: Alexander Deven. Vinny sprinted off, and Tessa, panic-stricken, dropped to her knees to try and save Alex. He'd sent her off, accepting his death in the name of his camp, and died.

Tessa shut her eyes, fighting the tears. "I tried to save him."

"Yes, you did," Her memory-self acknowledged. "But this was the first time that you truly saw the effects of war. Because from this point forward, it was you against the Regiment, no matter where it was sourced. And it wouldn't end. Not for a very long time."

Tessa took a deep breath. "It ended with the death of the General."

Her memory-self was silent for too long to affirm that statement. Tessa looked at her wildly. "Right?"

Her memory-self pursed her lips. "That's why I'm here to help you. You're bound to face many more enemies Tessa, whether they're wearing black and following Orion or not. That's why you need to understand all this."

"Understand what?" Tessa rebuffed. "How I let everyone down?"

"No," Her memory-self said fiercely. "How you're stronger than you think you are. How important a role you play in this war. You are the daughter of Poseidon whether you want to be or not and no amount of hiding, cowering, reclusiveness will ever change that. So make like you did when you were my age and own up to it. It's for the best for you and those you care about. Your options as of now are to understand who you really are and what you stand for so you can wake up, or you can die."

Tessa bristled, her hands clenching at her sides. She opened her mouth to fire back, but a piercing whine ripped through her ears. She held her head, wincing as it rattled her brain. She blinked, everything going fuzzy. She saw herself facing off against the General, Reese coming back from the alternate universe, the earthquake shaking New Rome. And then suddenly the memories weren't hers. She saw a decrepit hospital room, covered with images of her, her friends, her family. She saw a moonlit valley, masked faces, and a boy with glowing silver eyes.

"What's happening?" Tessa wheezed as the world spun around her, and she slammed into one of the columns, bracing herself.

"Someone's hijacking your thoughts," The voice of her memory-self was distant, yet panicked. "Whatever that Curse was that brought you here, it's coming back again."

Tessa cried out as the madness ripped through her head again, sending the world spinning around her as she dropped to her knees. "No, no, no, no! Leave me alone!"

"Tessa!" Her memory-self called out. "You can fight this! Just remember who you are!"

She was cut off as the world went silent, and the madness faded from Tessa's head. When she opened her eyes, she saw she was on a forested mountainside in the middle of a clear night. Crickets chirped nearby and fireflies flew overhead. She looked around, and as if materializing out of nowhere, Greek columns and seats like an amphitheater emerged from the hillside. And she was kneeling right at the center of the altar.

"Oh, no," Tessa whispered, getting to her feet. She turned around slowly, feeling she was being watched, and met two very malevolent eyes.

She hadn't seen him since she was eighteen. He'd supposedly fallen off the face of the earth after destroying New Rome, but now he was in league with Aether and the Masks. And yet, he appeared to her as he had when they were seventeen, when just like before, he'd kidnapped her and brought her to Delphi, to the birth of the great prophecy.

"Well, well, Tessa Brennan," Vinny Maxwell grinned a serpentine smile. "We meet again."

"What do you want, Vinny? What are you doing in my head?" Tessa snarled.

Vinny, hands in his pockets, strolled over to her. Tessa fumbled for her sword, then realized that in her madness, she didn't have one. Vinny caught sight of her realization and smirked.

"Can't fight me in your head, Tessa." He said. "You'll have to save that for when you wake up. If you wake up."

"What do you want?" Tessa said through gritted teeth.

Vinny stopped at the base of the altar's steps, looking up at her simply. "I need you off the chessboard. And destroying your sanity—or even better, your life—felt like the way to go. So say your prayers, Tessa. When I'm through with you, you'll be lucky to even get a word out."

Tessa felt sheer panic envelope her heart as she watched Vinny step back, and with a snap of his fingers, smoke began to circle the altar. Those smoky blobs turned into masks, and they began to chant from where they surrounded the altar.

Aether, Tessa realized. Aether did this to her. Somehow, he'd cursed her to gain control of her and now, she was going to die.

As the madness got louder, Tessa felt her mind go numb with another rip of madness. She screamed and staggered to a crouching position, gritting her teeth. She saw memories—were they memories?—of her friends at Camp Half-Blood, strategizing and trying to form a plan. She saw herself in Kaden's arms and he dissolved into smoke, leaving her with nothing. She heard a hissing voice like a thousand snakes slide into her mind. Prophecy after prophecy echoed in rounds through her mind.

Tessa saw herself sinking, being dragged down to the depths of the ocean by things she couldn't see. Imogen collapsed onto a bloody battlefield. Kaden was surrounded and wounded, his own sword stained with blood. Dale was glowing, energy surrounding her. Mark was light incarnate. Reese was firing arrow after arrow, trying to defend Imogen who had fallen behind him. Her friends were dying, they'd be dying, she was sinking, they were dying, she couldn't help.

Help. She needed to help herself. She needed to fight, she needed to win, she needed to get back onto her feet and find a way out, out, out and awake so she could help her friends. They needed her. She would be idle no longer, hesitant no longer, she would fight and they would win.

But how? She was withering away like plant in extreme heat, burning, freezing, dying. Her mind was at odds against her, spinning the world away into circles. She saw mountains exploding, the earth shifting, tidal waves smashing across the shore. Disaster. She was disaster incarnate, why should she bother?

No, she wasn't. She was strength. She was power. She was everything a half-blood should be in more. She could do it all, she'd done it before, all she had to do was try. What was stopping her?

The chanting grew louder. The pain grew stronger. But Tessa burrowed down into her mind, trying to find solace, trying to find that remnant of her mind, her soul that she'd lost. She could hope again, she could wish again, and right now, all she wished for was strength to return to her friends.

Like a beacon in the night, she found it. An image of herself asleep forged through her shut eyes, surrounding by arcs of power that Tessa was afraid to touch. But fear would be her enemy. She needed to be brave, come on Tessa, be brave!

Tessa reached for her power, and she cried out as suddenly, something grabbed her. She writhed, her eyes still shut, holding onto her power like it was a current that she couldn't break free from. It sparked each and every one of her nerves, ignited each one of her senses, until she was feeling the beat of the tides, the roar of the waves, the floods, the storms, the depth of the ocean. She was all of it. And she would always be.

~~

With a gasp of breath like she'd never breathed before, Tessa's turquoise eyes flew open and she shot up in her bed. No Vinny, no Masks. Just a room full of people: Reese, Dale, Mark, Kaden, Flynn. They all gaped at her, incredulous, relieved, shocked.

Tessa looked to each of them, and despite it all, found herself speaking. "I don't know how long I've been out for, but you all better have found a new lead by now or after the day I just had, I'll be seriously pissed."

A beat of silence. A beat of regret. And then like the floodgates had opened, they all rushed her, pulling her into their arms, thanking the Gods that she was alive, and Tessa knew that as something in her heart and soul fell into place, she'd found her way back home.

And nothing and no one would ever take her away from it again.