14th May 45 AD

With the first light of the rising sun, his home came to life. By the sound of footsteps, one could immediately tell who was walking through the corridor in front of his door. The slaves' footsteps were barely audible because they tiptoed around, trying to be as invisible as possible. The praetorians, on the other hand, sounded quite different, their hobnailed soles audible from afar.
But it was his mother's footsteps that Julius was eagerly waiting for that morning. Mom's footsteps were harder to hear than those of a praetorian, but easier than those of a slave. Mom's footsteps were neither loud nor soft, neither slow nor hurried, neither clacking nor creeping. They were simply mom's footsteps and Julius recognised them immediately. For an hour he had been lying in his bed with his ears pricked up, waiting to recognise her footsteps in the corridor. The door to the next room, the room of his little sister, Tonilla, was open as usual and he could listen to her regular breaths. Apart from the breathing of his sleeping sister and the various footsteps in the corridor, Julius did not hear a single sound. Where was his mother? She had promised to wake him.
Suddenly the boy listened. Pinned footsteps reached his ear. A praetorian. Disappointed, he sat up in bed and looked out of the window at the awakening city. The sight was almost as beautiful as mom and his breath caught. The light of the sunbathed everything in a golden glow - the gardens, the houses, the streets, the temples, the trees, the clouds, everything golden. The colour reminded him of his mother's hair and eyes. Just as Julius was about to sink back onto his pillow, the handle was pushed down with a soft creak and his bedroom door opened with a barely perceptible squeak. As Julius wheeled around, his sister's breathing in the next room came out of sync for a blink.
With a radiant smile, mom entered the room. Her dress was unusually plain, but she always looked beautiful. Behind her stood three praetorians. If only he had listened better, he told himself, he would have noticed them sooner.
Excited, he jumped out of bed and fell around her neck. As soon as her arms wrapped around him, he felt warm and content.
"It's time, my darling," she whispered conspiratorially in his ear and blew a kiss on his forehead. Tapping footsteps made him look over mom's shoulder. Tired and disoriented, Tonilla blinked at her.
"Good morning, little one," mom murmured, reaching out to Tonilla. Slowly, his sister plodded over to them and pressed a kiss to mom's cheek, visibly confused. How could she have forgotten that today was the big day? Without understanding, Julius shook his head. Reluctantly, mom detached herself from him and strode to the chest where his clothes for today lay ready. She ran her fingertips over the white wool of his toga, just as he had done again and again in the past few days. Proudly she smiled at him with dreamy eyes.
"Come, I'll help you in," she said, and immediately he ran to her. Getting dressed by mom took much longer than having one of his nannies dress him. But mom wasn't a slave, how was she supposed to know the moves perfectly? So, Julius held still and watched mom do her unaccustomed work.
After a while, mom turned to look at his best friend Marcus' father and inquired if the toga was fitting properly. Marcus' father sighed and called one of the nannies over. Her name was Kiana, and she was very nice and pretty. Even if she wasn't as pretty as mom or Tonilla. But no woman was as pretty as his mom or his sister. Quickly Kiana put his clothes in order and wanted to hide his golden bulla under the fabric as usual. But surely Julius stopped her. The bulla had belonged to his father and before that to his grandfather and great-grandfather. He had grown so much over the years that he was secretly afraid dad wouldn't recognise him. But the bulla would recognise dad, so Julius wanted to wear it over his toga. Quietly, Kiana held out a mirror to him and while Julius checked his clothes, he spotted his sister in the reflection. Tonilla sat on his bed and mom helped her tie a bracelet around her. His sister's silver lunula sparkled on her pale red dress. Sadly, she looked up at mom, who stroked her hair soothingly and whispered something to her. Hesitantly, Tonilla put her arms around mom and hid her face against her shoulder.
Julius immediately rushed to her and gently nudged his sister. Usually, it was enough for someone to take her in their arms to make her sadness disappear. But as she watched him over Mum's arm, her lips twisted into a pout.
"It's so unfair that father only wants to see you," she fretted, and Julius sighed in frustration. He understood her all too well. He couldn't have waited another day himself, and yet he already knew Dad.
Soothingly, mom stroked her shoulder while Julius remained silent. He loved his sister more than anything and it pained him to see her so unhappy. But he would not and would not trade places with her. Father's word was law and his decision final. Today Julius would see him again, while Tonilla got to spend the day with Aunt Julia. Mom had to make final preparations for dad's return, but just now she promised the sulking Tonilla that they would play together this afternoon. Instantly Tonilla's resistance began to crumble, and she blinked up at mom thoughtfully. Then she nodded hesitantly, slid off the bed and held out her small hand to Julius, which her brother immediately grasped.
With a fluid movement, mom also rose from his bed, took Julius' other hand and the three of them left the room. Julius could only restrain his impatience with difficulty. He would have liked to drag mom through the corridors to the atrium so that he could be reunited with his father as soon as possible. The grip of mom's hand was almost unbearably tight. Her gaze wandered aimlessly and hurriedly without really noticing anything. Something was troubling her. Very. So, he held back and clasped her hand. She shouldn't have to worry about him too.
When they finally reached the atrium, most of the clients had already gathered and were eyeing them curiously. Automatically he stretched his head and pushed his back through, as mom had shown him, so that he could use his full height. Steadily and slowly, Julius walked down the stairs by his mother's hand, as she had taught him. She called this way of moving dignified. But he only felt very ponderous. Mom looked dignified.
No sooner had they negotiated the last step than mom pushed Tonilla unobtrusively in his direction. His sister let go of mom's hand, bridged the distance and put her arms around his neck in farewell.
"Give Daddy a kiss for me," she whispered in his ear, and he calmly whispered back that she could give him the kiss herself the next day. He blanked out his mother's clients. Tonilla quickly detached herself from him and took a step back. At the same moment, mom sank to her knee so that she was at his eye level and smiled encouragingly at him. Grinning, Julius leaned forward a little and pressed a goodbye kiss to her cheek. Mum's words were lost in the rapt murmur of the clients. As she rose, she gently stroked his hair.
Out of the corner of his eye, Julius spotted his friends Marcus and Titus standing behind mom's clients with a small group of Praetorians. They waved at him excitedly and Julius instantly forgot that he would not see mom and Tonilla again until tomorrow. Encouraged by mom's gentle nudge in the back, he started moving and joined his friends full of anticipation.
On the front doorstep, he turned once more and waved to mom and Tonilla one last time. Then he followed Marcus into the carriage and concentrated on the words he wanted to say to dad at their reunion.
Although the carriage ride was of very short duration, the atmosphere inside the carriage was one of tension mixed with anticipation. Apart from Marcus, neither Titus nor he had travelled alone, and it was unusual for him to be able to talk only to his friends. Of course, they had no other topic than the imminent meeting with dad and uncle Vespasian.

When Julius jumped out of the carriage, he looked into a sea of strange faces. Curiously, he stretched his neck, but he could not spot dad in the crowd. Julius did not notice the beautiful villa that the senate had given dad for the days until he moved into the city. Flanked by his friends, he followed a freedman he thought he darkly remembered. His name was Greek. But Julius had forgotten the exact name and he was very annoyed about it. Time and again, Mum had told him how important it was to be able to remember a name and now he had forgotten the name of a man who was so important to Dad.
The Greek leads them through the atrium past waiting clients. Julius could connect most of the faces with a name, which relieved and soothed him. The clients nodded to Julius, who gave them a confident smile as they passed, which he hoped masked his excitement and uncertainty.
In front of a nondescript door, the Greek stopped and knocked. The door to mom's reception room in Rome was decorated all over with beautiful carvings, Julius thought, and looked around for his friends. But there was no sign of Marcus and Titus. His heart began to beat in panic in his chest as he realised that he would have to face dad alone. Unobtrusively, Julius tried to wipe his sweating palms on the fabric of his toga.
Just then the unadorned door would open, and the Greek would signal that he was now allowed to enter. Uncertainly, Julius crossed the threshold and looked around the simple room. Apart from two armchairs, the room was empty. A tall figure stood at the window and looked at him calmly. When their eyes crossed, Julius forgot everything he had been taught. Immediately Julius sprinted off and threw himself into dad's wide-spread arms. Warm, strong, constant - that's how dad's hugs had always felt.
A quiet tremor went through dad's body and after a blink Julius realised that dad was laughing at his lack of restraint. Hesitantly, he broke away from dad and took a step back. But dad instantly pulled him into another embrace and Julius lost the feeling that he had done something wrong. Dad smelled so familiar that Julius almost felt dizzy with happiness. Dad had not forgotten him. Dad had recognised him. Now everything would be all right.

After an hour, dad's Greek entered the small room again and announced that it was now time to receive the clients. Reluctantly, Julius slid off the chair, ran to dad and pressed a fleeting kiss on his cheek as a farewell, as he always did with mom. Then he turned on his heel and left the improvised reception room so that dad could devote himself fully to his duty.
Next to dad's Greeks, Kiana stood and held out her hand to Julius. Smiling, he turned to dad and waved before taking Kiana's hand and letting her lead him to his friends in the peristyle.
Marcus and Titus sat on the edge of the pool and dangled their feet in the water. Julius quickly untangled himself from Kiana, hurried to his friends and sat down next to them. The water was tepid, and the morning sun shone warmly down on them.
Immediately Marcus and Titus peppered him with questions, but Julius just smiled pensively to himself. Daddy had wanted to know everything from him, and Julius was still intoxicated by his daddy's attention. For unlike uncle Sabinus and uncle Vespasian, dad had waited with his salutatio until Julius had arrived and given him some of his precious time. In return, dad would also be busy for much longer than uncle Sabinus and uncle Vespasian. But Julius was used to that from mum. That's why he was all the more pleased that dad had waited for him, a seven-year-old, while a bunch of consuls had already arrived in the atrium.
Just as Julius spotted a shadow in the water, Titus jumped up and hurried impatiently away. Titus' splash scared the shadow away and Julius looked after his friend with a smile. They had had to wait so long for a reunion with their fathers that today there was simply no room for dignified slowness.
Laughing, uncle Vespasian lifted Titus up and hugged him briefly. Setting his son back on the ground, Titus immediately turned to the person next to uncle Vespasian and Julius realised that this man must be uncle Sabinus.
He quickly gave Marcus a questioning look and his friend nodded at him. But just as they stood up, Titus was already pulling his father to join them at the water's edge. The closer they got, the better they could understand that Titus was trying to persuade his father and uncle to join them. Julius tried to imagine his uncles gathering their togas and joining them at the edge of the pool. But it didn't work. This image did not fit his idea of how a senator had to appear. So, he was not surprised that his uncles stopped in the shade of a tree and ignored Titus' quiet protest. Confidently, Marcus and he joined the group. Serenely, he greeted his two uncles.
"By the gods, how tall you've grown, Julius!" exclaimed Vespasian in surprise, patting Julius on the shoulder. Dad had said the same thing, and so Julius calmly beamed up at uncle Vespasian.
A little later, a slave appeared and spread a blanket under the tree. As soon as the slave had moved away, they sat down on the blanket. He spent the rest of the day with his friends and his Flavian uncles in the shade of the tree. Again, and again his eyes flitted to the entrance of the peristyle. But dad did not join them. The number of visitors Julius thought he recognised from a distance in the atrium was simply far too high for that. Some days so many visitors came to their atrium on the Palatine that Prunia and Clemens had to put some of them off until the next day.

As the shadows lengthened, Kiana stepped up to them and, with a lowered gaze, declared that it was now time for the convivium. Hastily they rose and left the blanket unheeded. Confused, Julius looked back at the blanket and wondered who was supposed to clean it up. Then he followed his friends back inside the villa.
Dad was already lying on a dining couch when Julius entered the triclinium. Everyone listened to his dad and full of pride Julius watched his dad. As soon as dad noticed him, he silently invited me to join him. With his head held high, Julius strode across the room as mom and Kiana had taught him and he thought he saw pride flicker in his dad's eyes.
"Good evening, father," Julius greeted dad formally. He had learned that very quickly too. Even in front of Marcus and Titus, he called his dad father just as he called his mum mother. He didn't know himself why he used these terms outside the closest circle of his family. But he felt more comfortable with it.
"Come, keep me company," dad instructed him kindly, and when Julius lay down on the couch, dad was already engrossed in another conversation with an old senator. But for Julius it didn't matter that he didn't have his daddy's undivided attention. He was just happy that dad was home again.