Gaius had really tried to read Gemellus' letter further. But he couldn't bring himself to read the name that could change everything. Worried, she took the letter from his hand and skimmed the message. Her expression showed no emotion, then she frowned.
"Mina," she murmured, "he married Mina."
All at once she radiated such calm that he automatically relaxed as well. Mina, no family he knew - so she didn't have to mean anything.
"I don't understand," Aurelia said, setting the letter down on a chest. "I thought senators weren't allowed to marry freedmen"
Suddenly it clicked. Gemellus had married his Persian. Relief flooded through Gaius.
"That's right," Gaius breathed, barely able to hide his joy as he clasped her beautiful face with both hands. "By marrying her, not only is he giving up his political career - which he would not have been able to continue as long as I live anyway, but all his children will never be able to claim. He has politically coldcocked himself and his descendants forever. Do you understand what that means for us?"
Slowly Aurelia nodded, tears shimmering in her eyes.
"We are safe" she murmured "At least for now"
Then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him stormily and Gaius let himself fall. Suddenly Aurelia drew in a sharp breath and immediately he pulled back. Worried, he stroked her cheek. All too well he remembered how cold her body had been after she had returned to the triclinium.
"Are you all right?" he asked, pulling the covers off the bed and enveloping them both. But when he noticed the smile on her face, his concern subsided. Instead of answering directly, she placed his hand on her stomach and frowned in exertion as she looked as if she was listening deep inside. Before he could wonder, he felt something nudge gently against his palm. Blinking, he returned her warm gaze and tried to understand what he was experiencing. Quietly she explained that the child was moving in her belly.
"Are you in pain?", Gaius wanted to know anxiously and as if in confirmation he felt another nudge. But Aurelia only laughed softly and shook her head. That night they lay together for hours, talking to their child. Gaius had never dreamed that one day he would be talking to his pregnant wife's belly, but with Aurelia it felt like the most natural thing in the world, and he felt his love for the unborn child in her belly grow with every nudge. When exhaustion overcame Aurelia and she fell asleep peacefully in his arms, he silently promised himself to protect them both from all dangers - even if he had to sacrifice himself in the process.

At the beginning of May, his surprise for Aurelia was finally ready, but when he wanted to show it to her, she was already visiting her friend Clementina with his sisters. Reluctantly, Gaius resigned himself to the thought that he would have to be patient for a few more hours. At that moment, his secretary Hesiod entered his library.
"A small legation from Pontos has just arrived, sir," Hesiod said in his pleasantly calm voice. Irritated, Gaius frowned. If he remembered correctly, Pontos was still ruled by his distant relative Antonia Tryphaina. Or was her youngest son Polemon already of age? Gaius' memories of Polemon were hazy; he was the same age as his brother Kotys. After her husband's murder, Tryphaina had had her two sons educated in the house of Gaius' great-grandmother Livia. At the same time, Gaius and his sisters had been placed in her care because tensions between his mother and Tiberius had escalated. Therefore, his memories of the two royal sons were overshadowed by the concern he had felt for his mother at the time.
It worried Gaius that she sent him an official legation. Whatever they wanted from him had to be something very important to them and something difficult for him to do. Otherwise, they could have written him a letter and asked.
"Show them into my official study and arrange for them to be supplied with drinks," Gaius ordered, placing the scroll carefully on the side table. Hesiod nodded and turned to go.
"Oh, and inform my wife about our guests," Gaius added, then rose and smoothed out his tunic. Typical, no sooner had he let himself be unwrapped from his toga than an unannounced visitor arrived, and Gaius had to have it put on at record speed so that the waiting time did not exceed the bounds of politeness. For a second, he considered going straight away, but quickly dismissed the thought. An official legation deserved an official and dignified princeps. With a sigh, Gaius left his library and went to his chambers, where his slaves were already waiting for him with a fresh toga. Hesiod could always be counted on.
As he descended the last step and his foot stepped on the tiles of the atrium, the heavy oak doors opened, and he saw a palanquin come to a halt in front of his house. Clement appeared in his field of vision, the litter curtains were drawn back, and a small figure stepped out of the litter ignoring the proffered hand of the Praetorian prefect. The warm sunlight hit a strand that had stolen out from under her veil and the strand flashed gold. When she raised her head and their eyes met, her lips twisted into a radiant smile. Her dress fluttered lazily following her movements as she climbed the three steps and rushed through the open door. A small smile spread across his face, then he came up to her with long strides and took her hand. She was icy.
"Are you all right?" he asked anxiously, and Aurelia's eyes flashed like two sapphires in the sunlight.
"Of course," she replied, "but we have guests, and we shouldn't keep them waiting any longer."
Smiling, she pulled him towards his official study and told him in a calm voice about her abbreviated meeting with her friends. As they turned the corner and caught sight of the slightly open door of his official study, Aurelia fell silent. She took a deep breath and exhaled, then straightened her posture and a polite smile appeared on her smile. She was ready. He proudly unravelled her intertwined fingers and placed her hand on his forearm so that she elegantly hooked herself under him. Wordlessly, they entered his official study together and when he saw the small legation sitting on the chairs set up especially for them, he was glad of Aurelia's presence. As soon as they stepped over the threshold, Tryphaina rose gracefully, and her retainers hurriedly followed her example. Her gaze flitted to Aurelia and curiosity flickered across her face for a blink before she turned to Gaius with her warm smile.
"To what do I owe the honour of personally welcoming the queen of Pontos to my humble home," Gaius commented and Tryphaina laid her head back with a laugh. Immediately her companions relaxed. Out of the corner of his eye, Gaius registered from their clothes that they were probably merchants.
"I haven't been a queen for a long time, Gaius, but it's very good to see you again," she greeted him warmly, approaching him and grasping his hands. Politely, Gaius returned her greeting, then quickly introduced the two women to each other. After politeness had been satisfied, he inquired as to the reason for her visit. Not a word did he indicate that their coming had been unannounced. Tryphaina could not take her eyes off Aurelia and for a moment he wondered what his grandmother had told Tryphaina about his wife.
"I am here on behalf of my sons," Tryphaina replied with a smile. "We want to do you and your wife the honour of delivering our wedding gifts in person."
Gaius raised his eyebrow questioningly and Tryphaina's smile widened a little. Then she clapped her hands and from the next room two slaves joined them. One carried a cushion on which a scroll was perched, the other led in an oversized cat. Aurelia's eyes widened barely perceptibly. Smiling, Tryphaina continued, "My son Kotys has chosen this scroll for you with a copy of Callisthenes of Olynthus account of Alexander the Great in memory of your training together here in Rome. This handsome animal is for you, my dear. It was abandoned by its mother and when I found it, it was half dead. Since then, it has become accustomed to humans and is tame."
Intrigued, Aurelia calmly held out her hand to the large cat, enthusiastically the cat sniffed it, then it took a step forward and nestled into her palm. Smiling, Aurelia began to scratch the animal behind its ears. The cat purred deeply and loudly.
"She likes you," Tryphaina said with relief, and Gaius eyed his kinswoman sternly.
"I didn't know there were tigers in Pontos," Aurelia said, completely upsetting him. He eyed the striped, large feline with interest. As a small boy, his father had told him over and over again the stories of the tiger that the Indian legation had given to the great Augustus. Gaius had never seen one with his own eyes and he found them even more impressive than his father's descriptions. The animal had to be worth a fortune, and this made Gaius suspicious. What favour was Tryphaina trying to buy with a tiger? He was so lost in thought that he could not follow the conversation between the two women. At some point he felt all eyes on him. He quickly thanked them for the gifts and invited the legation to dinner. After a few minutes, Tryphaina explained that she would now like to retire to recover from the exertions of the journey. Shortly afterwards they were finally alone. Aurelia was still stroking the tiger. Carefully he held out his hand to the animal, as with Aurelia, it sniffed him briefly and then pressed its head against his palm. The fur felt surprisingly soft and silky - quite different from a dog or a horse. He reverently stroked the cat's silky fur. After a while, Aurelia looked up at him with a smile.
"If you now also have a flying carpet, it's almost like in Aladdin," she joked and slowly straightened up. He looked at her without understanding, waiting for an explanation. But Aurelia was already too deeply absorbed in the world of her thoughts hidden from him, so his wait was in vain.
"I don't have a flying carpet," he said with a grin. "But my wedding present for you has just been finished. Come, I would like to show it to you."
Questioningly, he held out his hand to her. As he was about to close the door behind him, his eyes fell on the piece of cloth he had already put out as a precaution. He quickly fetched it and carefully blindfolded her. Full of trust, she let him lead her through the corridors, the tiger walking calmly beside her. When they entered the garden, Aurelia frowned in confusion. The air in the garden was pleasantly mild, yet he made sure she was not freezing. At last, they reached the place he had had made pretty for them. Excitedly, he stepped behind her and gently untied the knot of the blindfold.
"You are all I need," he murmured between two kisses, and he felt her lips tighten into a smile under his mouth.
Next, he showed her the gallery in the west wing, which had already been laid out by the great Augustus. Tiberius had had most of the paintings changed so that they were more to his kitschy and vulgar taste. It had given Gaius great pleasure to take down each of these paintings himself and replace them with the original. Tiberius' paintings were now stored somewhere in a small chamber in the basement.
"Usually in the atrium of each family hang the death masks of the ancestors," Gaius explained and Aurelia nodded attentively. Of course, she already knew that. "Augustus had the masks of the most important members of our family transferred to paintings. At the same time, he had all the living members drawn. Thus he has created a unique gallery for our family here, where past and present meet."
Fascinated, Aurelia studied the faces until she froze in front of a painting. Calmly he stepped next to her and also examined the serious faces of his parents. They looked so sublime and dignified and alive that Gaius longed to be able to introduce Aurelia to them.
"I always wondered what your parents looked like," she said softly, snuggling up to him. With a sad smile, he watched her as she looked at the small painting. Then he gently pulled her to the next painting, which showed almost his whole family. It had been painted shortly after his father's triumphal procession. Julia was missing from the picture because she had not yet been born at that time. Excitedly, Aurelia examined the picture and her gaze immediately lingered on him. His mother had proudly placed her hand on his shoulder and this small gesture brought a smile to his face. He couldn't remember it - after all, he had only been five at the time.
"You were very sweet," Aurelia observed and Gaius laughed softly. She paid little attention to the next paintings and only stopped again when she reached the latest one. It showed them both and as in all the other paintings, their expressions were serious and sublime, as if they wanted to challenge the world together for all eternity to do better.
"He didn't catch your eyes properly," Aurelia murmured and just before her fingertips could touch the paint, she withdrew her hand. He hadn't noticed until now because he'd only been paying attention to her pretty face. Unmoved, he shrugged his shoulders. With a fine smile on her lips, her sea-blue eyes bored into his.
"I love your eyes," she confessed softly and wrapped her arms around his neck. Automatically he took her in his arms and inhaled her wonderful scent.
"Like two infinitely wide, clear skies," she whispered, and he smiled wryly at her. A little louder, she thanked him for his gifts and confessed that she was completely overwhelmed by their beauty, and he was perfectly happy.

They spent the rest of the day together in his library. With her eyes closed, Aurelia listened to his voice as he read to her from the new scroll. Towards evening, Hesiod reminded her that it was now time for supper and together they made their way to the triclinium. When they arrived, they separated and mingled with the guests. Aurelia's presence intimidated the other women so much that he just had to deal with the slimes.
After a while, he joined his grandmother, who stood a little apart and watched the guests.
"What did you say to my wife, avia?", Gaius wanted to know in a hushed voice. His grandmother choked on her wine and stared at him with wide eyes.
"Hasn't she spoken to you yet?" his grandmother asked incredulously, and he resisted the urge to give her an annoyed reply. It was her specialty to answer a question with a counter-question, but he would not let her play with him. He hadn't fallen for her strategy as a child, so Gaius smiled at her as if they were having a trivial conversation between grandmother and grandson. Researching, Grandmother studied his face and her smile, so similar to his, did not slip a millimetre. After a while, she averted her eyes and looked at Aurelia, who was engaged in conversation with Tryphaina. Gaius pushed aside the impatience welling up in him and waited, outwardly perfectly calm. A few moments later, his grandmother repeated the advice she had given his wife. Now he was no longer surprised that Aurelia had repeatedly slipped out of reality lately, deep in thought. For the first time since Gemellus had left Rome behind, he felt the darkness flare up inside him. Still smiling, he leaned down to his grandmother.
"If there's one thing I learned in Capri, avia," he murmured in her ear. "It's to control myself. She is all I need. Don't ever interfere in my marriage again"
He gave her one last meaningful look and the smile on his lips did not reach his eyes, then he turned on his heel and joined Aurelia and Tryphaina. As soon as his wife lifted her pretty head and looked at him happily with her radiant smile, she chased away the darkness inside him.

The next morning, Gaius watched his sleeping wife thoughtfully for a long time, waiting for her to finally wake up. He desperately needed to talk to her. He didn't care that she hadn't told him about the conversation with his grandmother. But he had been carrying a thought around with him for a while that he would like to share with her and slowly, he was running out of time. But with every minute that passed, he realised that they could not make this decision together as they usually did. Aurelia would refute his every argument and he would give in. As hard as it was and as much as he worried about the possible consequences, he had to make this decision himself. For a while he listened to her quiet breathing and lost himself in her beauty, then he leaned in and breathed a light kiss on her cheek. Part of him wished she would finally open her eyes now and dissuade him from his plan. But she slept on unmoved, and he tiptoed out of her bedroom. As soon as the door closed silently behind him, he beckoned one of his slaves and with a heavy heart issued any further orders.

That morning, to his relief, the stream of visitors calling on him was very weak. Presumably the presence of his uncle's secretary had intimidated the other visitors.
"Do you know what Narcissus wants from me?" inquired Gaius quietly of Hesiod. In an equally hushed voice, Hesiod returned that Narcissus had merely hurried ahead because uncle Claudius was anxious to talk to him. Apparently, Narcissus had been given the task of actually scaring away all the other visitors. Imperceptibly, Gaius nodded to the slave, then strode into his official study and listened to the pleas of the three clients Narcissus had been unable to scare away. Two he had already been able to fob off with the promise to consider their request. The third was a little more insistent, but nevertheless, with the exception of Narcissus, the atrium was clear when his uncle crossed the threshold shortly afterwards. Gaius sat at his desk and waited patiently. From here he could not hear the proceedings in the atrium. Finally, the door opened, and Hesiod poked his head into the room.
"Your uncle is here, sir," the secretary announced, and Gaius only nodded. Routinely he tugged at his toga and considered standing up, but at that moment his uncle already entered the room and smiled warmly at him.
"What can I do for you, uncle?" inquired Gaius business-like, pointing to the empty chair. The corners of Claudius' mouth twitched. The door fell shut behind him with a soft click, then he sat down in his assigned seat and explained, "You don't have to do anything for me, my dear boy. I am only here because my mother thinks I can change your mind after your conversation yesterday. But since I completely share your opinion in that regard, I'm only here so she doesn't continue to get on my nerves or sic one of your sisters on you."
Annoyed, he leaned back in his chair and massaged his throbbing temples.
"She's never going to stop interfering, is she?" asked Gaius and uncle Claudius gave him a pitying smile.
"I am almost 48 years old and look at me," uncle Claudius replied seriously. "Here I am to play my part in my mother's plans"
Playfully he eyed his uncle from top to bottom, then began to laugh.
"You do realise that you will have to report back to her on every single word, uncle?" joked Gaius and uncle Claudius joined in his laughter.
"I'll think of something," uncle Claudius assured him with a twinkle in his eye, then Gaius steered the conversation to his uncle's latest history project that Aurelia had told him about. Immediately his uncle's eyes lit up and with the enthusiasm of a child finally getting the attention he had always wanted, the words just gushed out of his uncle.
Suddenly the door to his study was flung open and they both looked up in surprise as Aurelia bustled into the room. Her dress fluttered behind her, and her hair fell tangled over her shoulders. She looked as if she had just jumped out of bed and come straight to him. Tears shimmered in her eyes. Immediately Gaius jumped up and was with her in one leap. Gently he embraced her beautiful face with both hands. Her blood pulsed far too quickly under his fingertips. Before he could ask what had made her so upset, she wanted to know in a quivering voice if he was really sending her away and she looked at him with hope that he might contradict her. But Gaius could not meet her gaze. Her delicate fingers closed surprisingly hard around his chin and forced him to look her in the eye again. Silently, tears ran down her cheeks.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked, the fear in her voice breaking his heart. Gently he pulled her to him and buried his face against her neck. Her divine scent rose to his nose, and he found himself wondering how he was going to get through the coming weeks without her. By now her whole body was shaking like a leaf. Without letting go of her, he gently led her to a couch and pulled her onto his lap. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest. Soothingly, he stroked her silky hair and pressed feather-light kisses to the crown of her head. After a while, the trembling of her body subsided, but he continued to hold her and enjoy her closeness.
"Every summer Rome turns into the purest epidemic city," he explained softly, and she slowly raised her head. Her eyes studied him calmly. "That is why everyone of rank and station flees to their estates. But when the summer recess of the Senate begins, you will not be able to travel, and I must get you and the child out of the city before the first wave reaches Rome. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you just because I am too selfish to be without you. Believe me, if I could, I would go with you at once, but the people need me, and so does the Senate. I swear to you, as soon as the last session of the Senate is over, my carriage will be the first to leave Rome behind."
Thoughtfully she bit her lower lip and Gaius had to summon all his willpower not to kiss her. After a while she nodded slowly, then shook her head and snuggled against him.
"I don't want to leave you," she confessed softly, drawing invisible shapes on the fabric of his toga. Gaius sighed softly and assured her that he would never take her away if he knew of any other way. Suddenly his head shot up. He had forgotten all about his uncle. Searchingly, he looked around the room, but there was no sign of his uncle, and the door was closed. Sighing, he buried his face in her hair. There was nothing more important than the safety of his little family.
Gaius couldn't tell how long they sat like that, entwined in his study, just listening to each other's breaths. They didn't spend a moment apart for the rest of the day. The next morning, as she granted him one last kiss and climbed into the carriage far too early, Gaius felt his heart leave with her.

The next few weeks whizzed by without meaning to. Every day without her was a day lost without colour and joy. His longing for her drove him to the brink of madness and he began to count the days until the Senate finally went into its summer recess. As time passed, he felt that all the women of Rome were conspiring against his. With each passing day since their departure, they became more intrusive and taxed his nerves.
Aurelia's letters were no bright spots for him either in the monotony of Aurelialess Rome. They were meaningless and even after reading the first letter eagerly, he was sure that she was suffering as much from the separation as he was. In each letter she told him about the walks she took on his estate. Until she wrote in a letter that Clemens and the midwife had put an abrupt end to their walks. Since then, the length of her letters had shrunk drastically from time to time, as if she had experienced nothing worth telling. Even if she didn't write it, he knew exactly how she felt: cut off from the world, locked in a place she didn't want to be and numbed by longing and monotony. At night when he lay awake for hours because her side of the bed was cold and empty, he doubted most the meaning of their separation. A few times he found himself suddenly sitting at his private desk, a papyrus unrolled in front of him and the Calamus already dipped in ink ready to beg her to return. Each time, with a sigh, he put the writing utensils back in their place and returned to his now far too large bed. Since she had left, his nights were again dominated by his nightmares and when he struggled out of the sheets screaming, he was glad that his sisters were housed in another wing. He could not have borne them seeing him so weak.
Motionless as a statue, Gaius sat in his curule chair and let his gaze sit over the assembled senators. Only four more sessions, then he was finally free. Suppressing a sigh, he forced himself to feign interest in the praetor's speech. It didn't matter what the senators said. In the end, they would vote his way. As always. Inconspicuously, Gaius eyed the faces of the other listening senators, and that's when he saw him: standing nervously on the threshold, desperately trying to get his attention by waving his arms excitedly. A slave, no doubt. Gaius had never seen anything more undignified in his entire life. How could a grown man allow himself to be carried away by such behaviour? Then he registered the deep consternation that showed on the man's face. Immediately his interest was aroused. Unobtrusively, he nodded to the slave as he unflinchingly followed the last speech before the vote. But he did not intervene in the proceedings when the first consul announced the vote. Patiently, Gaius remained in his seat until the votes were counted and the result was available. As expected, all the senators had bowed to his will. He rose with dignity and strode towards the slave who was still waiting for him at the entrance. His progress was far too slow for his taste. As soon as he managed to extricate himself from a conversation, the next senator was already standing next to him, engaging him in conversation. When he finally reached the slave, he avoided his gaze. Silently, Gaius gave an annoyed sigh. Aurelia was right, it was very uncomfortable when people wouldn't look you in the eye while you were talking to them. Only now did Gaius notice how young the slave was, still half a child. Friendly, he inquired what message the boy had for him.
"Your sister Agrippina sent me to you, my lord," the boy said nervously, "the lady has gone into labour."
Irritated, Gaius frowned. Why would Agrippina notify him that Aurelia was in labour? Aurelia was at his estate - a day's ride from Rome. Besides, she would not inform his sister first, but him.
"My wife?" inquired Gaius, and the boy raised his head in surprise.
"No, milord," he stammered. "Your sister, Drusilla."
Filled with horror, Gaius stared at the boy as his mind suspended for a second. The next moment his thoughts screamed wildly in his head and his heart began to race. Blind to the world around him, Gaius pushed past the young slave and hurried out of the Senate.