You're laying in Yoongi's bathtub, allowing the warm bath water to soothe you. Sighing, you adjust in the bath and rest your head back.

"You doing okay?" you hear Yoongi question from outside the door. Letting out a soft laugh, you shake your head.

"I'm sore." You respond immediately causing him to laugh.

"You mind if I come in?" he questions.

"Sure, just no getting turned on because my pussy is already way too sore to do anything." You state.

"Can't make any promises on that one." Yoongi states before he twists the knob on the door and opens it. He steps inside before glancing down at the toilet seat. Once he sees that it's fully down, he sits on the seat and smiles over at you.

"I know, you're barely ever able to contain yourself." You respond before sighing softly. He then grins over at you for a few seconds.

"So... we gonna talk about what you said?" he questions now. You purse your lips together for a second as you tense up a little.

"What's there to talk about?" you question. He softly laughs before shaking his head.

"I don't know, all of it?" he questions. "I already said if you don't want me to go, you just have to say so."  He states.

"Again, I can't make you turn down that much money." You state while looking over at him. He then licks his lips before leaning forward to get a little closer to eye level with you as he hunches over.

"I make plenty of money at my day job, Y/N." he states. "I don't need to go if you don't want me to."

"I know you don't need the money." You state before taking a deep breath.

"Then what is it about?" he questions. "Are you getting uncomfortable knowing I'm hooking up with other women?" You adjust in the bath once more to sit up straight this time. As you look up at him, you expect to see him looking at the bubbles and water dripping down your tits.

To your surprise, he's not even acknowledging the fact that you're naked right now.

"I think it's because I just don't know who this other girl is." You state while sighing softly. "I mean, if she's paying you that much, this could literally be a billionaire inventor of waffles for all I know." This causes Yoongi's eyebrow to raise as he smiles softly.

"Waffles?" he chuckles before reaching over and gently tapping your forehead. "Not sure what kind of weird ideas you have going on in that mind of yours but no, she didn't invent waffles. And also, why does not knowing who this other woman is bother you?"

"She could literally be the most perfect woman in the world and I'm just... me." you say before biting onto your lower lip. "And I could literally be keeping you from being with this incredible goddess of a woman by being selfish and wanting your dick."

Yoongi tilts his head to the side as he stares over at you, smiling softly.

"You're not keeping me from anything." He states before shrugging his shoulders. "I've been hooking up with this other woman for years now and if I wanted to be with her or vice versa, it would've been discussed by now. In fact, if that were the case, my account wouldn't even have been there anymore for you to have even met me in the first place."

You furrow your eyebrows as he says this, now growing even more uncomfortable.

"So, you would delete that account for her but not for your ex-girlfriend who had asked you to before?" you question. "Wow... says a lot about that relationship." You mumble under your breath. This causes Yoongi to scoff before shaking his head.

"Different times, different circumstances. I needed the money back then when I was with that other girlfriend." He states. "Plus, I only say that because it's been a little over 2 years of me knowing this woman. I'm pretty sure now that I'm older and ready to settle down when the time comes, I'd be more willing to delete that account or maybe turn it into a couple's account if my person would want to do that too." You bite onto your lower lip as he says this before nodding your head.

"So, she's not like, the most perfect person in the world that you're holding back from being with because of me?" you question. This causes him to laugh immediately.

"No." he states. "She has her own... quirks. I get along with you better than her. My relationship with her is more of a business transaction at times while with you, I actually know more about you and you're a little easier." He states, causing your jaw to drop as you look over at him. You quickly splash him with some of the bath water. He flinches and attempts to use his hands to prevent the water from splashing on him.

"I'm anything but easy, Yoongi." You firmly state before crossing your arms over your chest as you huff. He lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head.

"Not in that way." He states before taking a deep breath. "I just... I can understand you a little better on a personality level. I can read you at times and I'm more relaxed around you, more comfortable."

"Should've worded it like that at first before offending me." you tease, causing him to grin.

"I never intend to offend you. Sure, I push your buttons a little to get you worked up because it's entertaining and sexy when you get sassy but never want to actually say something to offend or hurt you." He states before taking a deep breath. "But if it's bothering you so much, the woman is Park Min-young."

You gulp as you realize your intuition was correct.

"Uh... the celebrity?" you question. This causes him to nod before scratching the back of his neck as he avoids eye contact. "So, you either lied to me about her being absolutely perfect or something's wrong in your head because she's gorgeous." This causes him to roll his eyes while smiling.

"I never said she's not attractive. I just said she's not as perfect as you're thinking she is." He states before speaking once more. "I mean, look at people who have met their celebrity idols in person. A lot of them end up saying it was a let down because they have this person on a beautiful pedestal and think so much of these idols... only to be disappointed when meeting the actual person because they're not the same as that mental picture they created of them."

"Makes sense..." you say before drifting off into a few seconds of silence. You then take a deep breath before speaking further. "Honestly Yoongi, I think maybe I'm getting a little too... used to you being around?" you question, unsure of if you're right about what you're feeling. This causes him to have a blank look on his face.

"Used to me being around... what do you mean by that?" he questions.

"You and I text and call and see each other all the time." You state. "I'm not good with feelings but I always have such a good time when I'm with you and I just recently started getting a little..."

"Jealous?" he questions. You look up at him and see that he's staring over at you with a blank expression but his eyes are sympathetic. Shrugging a shoulder, you avoid eye contact once more.

"Is that what you'd call it when I got upset that you never called me the other day after we were hanging out after seeing you were active with other girls online?" you question. He chuckles.

"Yeah. That's jealousy." He responds, causing you to nod.

"Then, yes." You say before letting out a soft laugh. "And I know I'm not entitled to your time or attention all the time so I don't know where this jealousy came from honestly. The only thing I do know is that I don't know what to do about it."

Yoongi nods his head before glancing down at his watch.

"Well, I have an inkling of an idea." He states before taking a deep breath. "Starting tomorrow, maybe I'll leave you to yourself just to get your thoughts together without me fogging up your brain so you can decide what you want to do here. The choices are endless. You can see other people while I'm out of town in hopes of not being jealous because you'll have other people also getting your attention so it's not solely focused on me. You could choose to end this friend with benefits thing with me if you wanted to, which I hope you don't choose to do but can't tell you what to do. And lastly, you could always end up deciding you want a relationship with me." he states.

You look up at him as he's saying these different options. His eyes light up at that last option, causing you to relax a little as you see that this isn't a one-sided thing.

"Wait, tomorrow?" you suddenly question out loud as you realize that he said that. He nods his head.

"I would've said starting now but to be frank, it's way too late and I'd be worried about you getting home. I prefer that you stay here for the night especially with you having work tomorrow. You need rest to be able to work tomorrow. If you went home now, you'd likely feel the need to call in sick and I don't want you using a sick day when my place is readily available for you to stay at." He explains. You slowly nod your head before gesturing towards the towel and the folded clothes that Yoongi has provided to you.

He glances to where you're pointing before nodding his head and grabbing the towel as you get up from the bathtub and shiver. He places the towel around your shoulders before getting up from the toilet so you can get out safely. Instinctively, he reaches for your hand to help you out.

Once you're out, he holds your hand for a few more seconds before making his way towards the bathroom door.

"I'll give you a bit to get dressed then we can head to bed." He states. You nod your head before taking a deep breath and watching as he closes the door gently behind him.

He's right, there's plenty of options for you.

The decision to end this friends with benefits situation is looking to be very attractive to the part of you that doesn't like addressing your feelings. However, you know that'd be the easy, cop out choice. All of this time getting to know someone's body and mind just to walk away doesn't seem like the right choice here. You developed a crush for a reason.

Though, your intrusive thoughts are telling you to run for the hills just to self-sabotage.

The decision to see other people would work but what would the point of that be if you continue finding more men that don't know how to screw you? Or worse, more men you develop crushes on.

Your intrusive thoughts are tempting you to take this decision now to spite Yoongi, make him jealous and show him how it felt to be in your position the other night when you were waiting for his call. Though you know that this is childish to even think in the first place.

Now, a relationship with Yoongi... that's a wild card for your mind.

What if you choose this and end up happy and end up with your partner in crime for life?

On the flip side, what if you end up with another world-shattering heartbreak that causes you to spend years fixing yourself again?

As you get dressed in Yoongi's shirt and boxers, you sigh and end up getting a whiff of his cologne.

Closing your eyes, you allow yourself to take in the scent, shoulders relaxing as you think about his arms around you.

You then suddenly open your eyes, panicked as you realize how far into this you are.

Fuck.

*****
Now that my mental health is slowly starting to get better, onto the things going on in the world:

A bunch of devices in Lebanon exploded the other day while people were wearing them. From what I heard, they were pagers and walkie-talkies that were being used and they just randomly exploded. I hope anyone who had this happen are okay and didn't get seriously hurt (though I did see a few cases, someone's eyes were injured and some people had their lower bodies injured from wearing the pagers on their pants).

In China, there was a schoolboy who was stabbed by a man while on his way to class. He passed away. The child's parents are Japanese and Chinese and apparently, this is the second knife attack done on Japanese children in China.

In Nigeria, there was a boat incident that killed at least 64 people. The people on the boat were farmers who use boats to access farmlands but they only have 2 boats available which can cause overcrowding. This is a second time an incident like this happened.

As for the US, we know that the election is coming up and a lot of debates, propaganda, and rallies being held with the two candidates. I've already said I don't like Trump personally because of the things he's done and stands for. Regardless of what candidate you are supporting, just make sure you're registered to vote as your voice does matter.

That's everything I've read about recently but if anyone has any news, please let me know, I love being aware of what's going on in the world currently.

I hope all of you are doing well, my therapy sessions have been helping so much and I find myself slowly getting over every negative thing that happened this year.

Please take care of yourselves always and eat well!

I purple you
Kim 💜