8
ø rain ø
He hoped that maybe Jude was just joking about quitting watching Aura. That he was only trying to teach him a lesson, to make him reflect on his actions, but would eventually come back.
It wasn't about having someone to watch Aura so he could go out drinking again. It was about the fact that Aura asked every single day where Jude was, when he'd come to watch her again, and when he'd build another one of his amazing forts. And Rain didn't have an answer.
Or maybe he did. Because Jude wasn't answering his messages, the ones where he asked if they could talk again. He wasn't picking up his calls either. On the day Jude was supposed to turn in all his final assignments for his investment course, Rain messaged him to ask if he'd managed everything, if he had any feedback yet.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
So one evening, as they were brushing their teeth, Rain crouched down by Aura. He took her tiny hand in his and sighed. He didn't want to upset her, but he had no choice. "You know how you've been asking me when Jude's coming back?" he asked. Aura's eyes practically lit up. "Well... Jude's not coming back."
"Why?" she asked, her mouth full of toothpaste.
"He had a fight with Daddy, you see? I did something wrong." He didn't want to tell her the whole truth—she wouldn't understand it anyway. But he didn't want to lie to her either. Not at all.
Aura frowned. "What did you do?"
"It's not important," he shook his head. He never wanted Aura to find out. He was ready to make up for it, even though she didn't know what had happened. "But Jude just isn't coming back. I'm sorry."
Aura spat out her toothpaste, even though she hadn't brushed her teeth long enough. Rain let it slide this time, because he could already see her face twisting and the first tears forming.
She truly loved Jude. So much that the news made her cry instantly, and it broke Rain's heart. It had been three weeks since that night, three weeks of trying to get a response from Jude so he wouldn't have to tell Aura this. She hadn't seen Jude in three weeks, but still reacted as if he'd been a constant presence in their lives.
"Aura..." Rain exhaled, reaching to stroke her cheek, but at that moment she started throwing a tantrum. She stomped her feet, cried, and accused Rain of hurting Jude. That Jude didn't like her anymore.
And then she said Jude had left, just like Mommy.
Rain froze in place. Aura had never met Caroline, yet she said it.
That's when it hit him. The reason Aura clung to Jude so much was that she was likely trying to fill the void her mom had left. It wasn't just Rain anymore. It was Rain and someone else. Rain had never brought anyone home before Jude. No one had ever slept over, except for his mother or father, of course. No one had ever had breakfast with them or played with her toys. It was new for her.
He remembered one time when he picked Aura up from preschool, and the teacher wanted to talk to him first. That day, the children were supposed to draw their families. While no masterpieces were expected, Aura hadn't drawn anything. She hadn't even touched the paper. While all the kids around her happily drew pictures of moms and dads, the teacher had approached her and asked what was wrong. Aura had said she didn't have a mom. And though the teacher tried to convince her to draw a picture for her dad instead, she had refused.
That day, Aura had asked a lot of questions about why others had two parents, even though she'd heard her grandmother's story many times about how her mom was watching over her from the sky. Rain hadn't known what to say. That had been about a month before Jude first babysat.
So when Jude came over for the first time, the first person in Aura's life who wasn't family but spent time at home with her, was kind to her, slept over, and had breakfast with them at the same table, maybe she'd filled that empty space in her head where a mom should've been. Finally, she had a home where there was her and two adults who cared about her, just like the families the other kids had.
Rain got up. While he'd been lost in thought, Aura had run to her room. He followed and carefully opened the door.
She was sitting on her bed, hugging a stuffed animal that was bigger than her, and crying. The sight broke Rain's heart because he knew this was entirely his fault.
He sat down next to her. "Are you mad at me?"
No response.
"I'm talking to you, princess," Rain continued. "Are you still friends with me?"
She glanced at him briefly when he called her princess. Then she mumbled, "Jude said I was a princess."
Oh. Of course. Rain had never called her that, but lately, she'd become obsessed with princesses, a step up from her pony phase. He hadn't known Jude had ever called her a princess.
Actually, he didn't know a lot. Because he'd left them alone to go drinking.
He had thought about finding someone else to watch Aura, but that would've completely undone what Jude's departure was meant to accomplish—to make him stop spending his evenings alone, to spend more time with Aura, to fix what was broken between them.
"And Jude was right, of course," Rain finally replied.
"Princesses have crowns."
Rain smiled and stood up. He went to the toy chest, where she kept several crowns and two princess dresses. He picked out the first crown he saw and returned to the bed. He placed it on Aura's head.
"Now you're a full-fledged princess, huh?"
She shook her head, jumped off the bed, and dropped her stuffed animal. She went to the same toy chest Rain had left open and started rummaging through it. When she came back, she was holding the exact crown with a veil that Jude had worn the first night Rain had caught them dancing to kids' songs in the living room.
"You'll be my prince," she ordered.
Rain eyed the crown suspiciously. "Do princes wear veils?"
"Jude was my prince, and he wore a veil," she insisted.
So he had no choice. Jude hadn't babysat that often, but he'd still managed to set a bar for Aura that Rain now had to meet. At that moment, Rain wished Aura were still obsessed with ponies rather than princesses and princes. He'd much rather be a stable boy than a prince.
But he couldn't refuse. He couldn't hurt her any further. So he took the crown with the veil and put it on his head. And the princess before him smiled contentedly.
From then on, she occasionally mentioned Jude—mostly when they played, and she'd say Jude did something differently or better. Rain knew he lacked skill with toys and couldn't slip into roles as easily as Jude probably could when they played. But he tried. He tried harder than ever to play with Aura more, to show more enthusiasm than ever, just so she wouldn't think about the fact that it was just the two of them again. That Jude wouldn't be coming around anymore.
Sometimes, he still hoped for a message from Jude, a reply. When he drove past Jude's university, he thought about parking on the side of the road and waiting to see if he could spot him. Just to tell him Aura missed him.
But no reply came, and he never stopped. Their lives went on as though Jude had never been a part of them.
Until one day.
ø
THE RIDE IS ABOUT TO STAAART
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro