About body horrors. Read at your own discretion

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I pinch at the folds of the skin.
Lumpy gross fat, rolls on my body.
If I pulled a little harder,
Just tore at the white bumps.
Peeled the skin away, gushing blood,
I could eat the fat away.
My pearls chomping on cells.
Crimson running down my chin,
Onto the exposed insides.
My guts showing through the torn away flesh.
Tears are useless at this point ,
It won't change what I've done,
It won't change how I enjoyed it,
And it won't change when I go to the hospital,
Or when I do it again,
And again,
And again.