Sharing your miserable personal story with others won't bring you solution. They won't stop your affliction. So, keep silence and stand up, fight back the tears and like a warrior of God... win the lost battle.
'manaù-prasädaù saumyatvaà
maunam ätma-vinigrahaù
bhäva-saàçuddhir ity etat
tapo mänasam ucyate' (BG 17.16)
Meaning- 'And satisfaction, simplicity, gravity, self-control and purification of one’s existence are the austerities of the mind.'
It's all about our mind. If we can tame it, everything will fall into right places. Controlling mind means one need to leave all those unwanted attachment and feelings to attain a higher level of living.
How that can be achieved?

By obeying God, of course. You need to know what satisfies you. It is not something related to materialistic world. It is the inner richer world. Simplicity of one's life can take him higher. Don't make out a living of an ostentatious life. Keep SILENCE! (because -- "Among all means of suppressing lawlessness I am punishment, and of those who seek victory I am morality. Of secret things I am silence, and of the wise I
am the wisdom." BG 10.38..... Silence is God. Keep him close. Krishna will help you taking care of the rest.) Control yourself. Don't. Perform. Wrong. Just don't let lust creep under your skin. Because, lust will bring ​passion, passion will lead to wrath and wrath will provoke you to commit sins. Don't come under the influence of lust. To anything actually. Stay resisting, detached.

Only if you perform so, control all your sense organs and tame your mind, silence it and live an unostentatious devout/spiritually​ enlightened life... then only you can attain peace.

Hare Krishna.