i) salt air and the rust on your door

the air tastes salty on the tip of my tongue, as i try to fill my lungs with the rich honey vanilla scent of blossoming lavender and baby blue hydrangeas. my mind swirls with the blinding city lights as the burning taste of lime and tequila trickles down my throat. i stumble across the asphalt road till i reach your bright red door with paint peeling off the edges. i hate how my inebriated mind always finds my way back to you and your glowing beauty, your radiance undampened by the crooked onyx night. my knuckles knock softly against the teak wood, an involuntary sob escaping my lips as my eyes sting and burn with hot tears mixed with my signature ebony mascara.

you open the door partially, your soft brown eyes scanning me with pity and disgust. i suddenly become conscious of my appearance, as i try to hurriedly brush my hair with my fingers. an exasperated sigh escapes your lips, your light coffee eyes roll with annoyance as they pierce through me like i am something pathetic and worthless. i feel asphyxiated under your harsh gaze and taciturn scrutiny. i want to run away as far as i can from you, but my legs stay frozen to my spot. i try to focus my lachrymose eyes on anything but you. i stare at the edges of your door— peeling red paint and rusty; the crisp august air suddenly feeling too stiff and heavy as if it were compressing me.

finally and tantalizingly, you spoke. "its late, you should go," you muttered in a frigid tone devoid of any warmth of the sultry summers we spent together, wrapped in each other's arms as if the lilac horizon and sunburst clouds were made for us.

i tried to piece together what were you thinking, but your hazel eyes were as barren as the winter wastelands, frozen over with thick slabs of snow. i wondered what went wrong between us. you were so warm earlier, like the coral carnations that bloomed under the sticky gold sun. but now you're so cold, the blood flowing in your veins ice and your eyes as empty as the hiemal glaciers that litter the endless teal waters.

the evanescence of our plastic love spilled from my eyes like tepid waterfalls as you slammed the blood red door on my face. i could feel my cheeks heat up furiously, as bright red shame flushed over me. i looked up to the royal blue sky blanketed with thick gray clouds and screamed— i screamed for my lovesick, wretched heart which had fallen in love with you a million times.

maybe one day you'll fall in love with me the way i fell feet first for you.