"Imagine: you are drinking alone after you get dumped and Audrey shows up with some interesting advice" 

warnings: drinking, sad stuff idk it leads to better stuff in part two

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The liquid burned at first, reminding you that the best things in life didn't come without a price. No, perhaps not even a price but a stain, a mark, maybe even a scar. Except, the burn would slowly fade and you wouldn't see a mark if you shone a light down your throat.

There was a stain, a mark, a scar because of them though. They had been the happiness, the good in your life for so long that when stripped from them, you were... Who were you?

Losing them was like losing a limb, one you had grown to accustomed to always having there and using to support yourself. Then all of the sudden, all you had was shitty liquor from an almost empty cabinet and pyjamas that didn't look as sexy on you as they did when the love of your life had been there to see them.

Did you ever looking good in silk anyways? Or was that another lie that you hadn't caught? You had to wonder if they kept a list or a jar, full of the lies they told and the truths they avoided. You figured it would have been a pretty big jar. Four years would fill a jar, would it not?

You weren't quite through the small bottle and you were no lightweight but everything was warm and slight hazy. It was the perfect feeling for the worst situation and eventually you forgot everything from time to where you were.

"Y/N?"

Her voice broke through the hum of nothingness in your head and you eyes flit up to attempt and focus on the subject in front of you. It was interesting how the word subject came to mind as if Audrey was the centre of an art piece. She was art, wasn't she?

Sharply cut bangs shadowing pale eyes where evil and love were muddled, not blended. She was a combination of darkness and ironic light that you seemed to feed off of. While you sat on the floor in revealing pyjamas with tear stained cheeks, she stood before you in a tank top and shorts, a fighter on a pedestal where she probably didn't belong.

But that was the thing about friends; you accepted their darkness, fed off of their light and if you honestly loved them, you forgave them at night. Audrey had done many things with her strength and fucked over an abundance of peers but if there was one thing she hadn't done, it was failing you.

"You've started punching that thing again, haven't you?" Words didn't come so naturally, even with only a slight buzz. You were exhausted, not intellectually thriving at that given moment.

"You've started thinking about them again," she retorted easily, a hand on her hip. You set down your bottle and tilted your head back against the wall, pressing your palms against the pale carpet flooring. You weren't dizzy but you didn't feel quite grounded, whether from alcohol or Audrey you weren't sure, but the fact that you were sitting was not a guarantee you wouldn't tip over.

"It's only been a month," you whined softly, your throat thick with sudden guilt. When your friend on her golden pedestal called you out, it became unclear to whether or not you were right or her.

She crouched down in front of you, your eyes focusing in the muscles in her thighs instead of looking up and seeing the pity in her eyes. One look and you would break all over again.

"Have you ever just considered that when they left you, you were the one who was set free?" She was nothing short of wise when it came to the advice she usually gave you, but frankly, that piece fell short.

You pushed your palms into the carpet more, wondering how it were possible to feel every coil of material against your skin but still not form a coherent thought in your head. Or at least a useful one.

"Don't you get it, Audrey? There is nothing free about being let go. What if they were it? What if they were my once in a lifetime and now I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life watching other's find theirs?"

Audrey scoffed and the sound echoed through your mind, making you bite your lip until it began to feel numb. There was something about her that drove you over the edge and absolutely frustrated you to no end as well. How had you survived the past few years as her closest friend when all she seemed to do was disagree with you? Would her jar of lies and unspoken truths be half as full as theirs?

You figured not, as every time Audrey disagreed with you, she was sure to let you know. There was no unsaid truths to be shoved into a cheap jar that you would never get to see.

You closed your eyes and felt her body dropped beside yours, a small thud against the carpet where she sat down. She smelled like vanilla, a small hint of sweat and maybe chocolate. Oh, how your best friend did truly love her chocolate.

"Then you need to stop surrounding yourself with people who are going to let go. Look at the people in your life and stop dragging the fakes along. Leave them behind for once, don't wait until they leave you."

You turned your head to face her's and tried to suppress a grumble that was threatening to slip out. You were too tired and upset to take advice and analyze your relationships.

Audrey lifted her hand with a sigh and placed it on your upper thigh, her fingers splaying out over the silk material. Her finger tips brushed across exposed skin but she paid no mind to the small intake of breath on your end. You ignored the way her hands warmed your skin through the material and how the tingle up your spine almost felt good.

"How do you know if someone will let go or not? Doesn't everybody leave at some point? No one wants to stick around with the pathetic girl on the floor who can't stop crying for more than ten minutes at a time."

Audrey gently squeezed your thigh and proceeded to put her head on your shoulders, the ends of her short hair tickling your neck. You rested your own head against hers and closed your eyes again, focusing on her body heat and distracting scent.

You had looked to alcohol to warm your veins and scald your throat when Audrey was just as good as an option.

"I won't let go," she promised sincerely. "You're stuck with me, babe."

You thought back to all of the times she had been annoyed with you or seemed frustrated by your actions. All the times you had wondered if she was keeping things from you or sick of being close to you. Somewhere in your mind, you knew that she wasn't the type of person to just leave and especially not you.

Yes, somewhere in your mind, yet very well hidden.

"Why though? After all the mistakes I make and everything you deal with, do you never get tired of me or something?" It was too complicated to word your thoughts in a sophisticated, understandable way. Instead, you let yourself just speak the first thoughts that came to mind. It was more honest that way in the end.

Audrey pulled back her head almost suddenly and a crinkle between her brows formed. "It's pretty hard to get tired of you, trust me Y/N. You certainly keep me thinking."

"Think about what?" you pressed, pursing your lips in confusion. Was Audrey always so vague or did she just have a habit of making things unclear?

There was a flickering concentration in her eyes that reminded you of the time she admitted that she had done terrible things. You had been terrified then and you were terrified again. That expression on her face- as familiar and beautiful as it were, meant that she was afraid as well. Was there anything as scary as Audrey being afraid?

You eyes darted back and forth from her lips that parted just slightly, to the darkening look she gave you.

"Do you ever think that maybe if you hadn't dated them, we would have wound up together?"

Your eyes widened and the thumping in your chest became an erratic hum that deafened you. The impact of her words were so instant and piercing as if she had a slid a knife into space right beneath your chest. Was this pain the type that you loved to feel or was it undesirable and cruel?

Why did it feel like both?

"Audrey, what in the world are you saying?" There was a quiver in your voice that was unavoidable and not unnoticed by her. Before she spoke again she wavered slightly, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip.

She was conflicted and you were swimming in your confusion, drowning.

"I know how hard it is to love someone that feels so far away."

You blinked and you swore that every part of your body just shattered.

She loved you. 

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Yikes I have to write more of this but I'm camping until tomorrow and I work all week yuck. I'll try and get it done soon but I'm also finishing another separate imagine now.