The kitchen was a lonely place as I sat here contemplating what I was doing. It was Thursday, the first day I was supposed to have gone into work. Tomorrow was supposed to be my second day, but it didn't look like that was going to happen either. So just what was I doing?

I was contemplating this as, without warning, laughter rang out in the living room. A laughter that shocked me, having haven't heard it in such a long time and never this free.

"Hee hee hee, no...no ball...no..."

"Ball" was the way Georgina had been saying "Baby Doll". She slurred everything in the middle, leaving just "Ball." A small nervous buzzing flew through my stomach and into my heart hearing her say this, but it reminded me that I was not alone in this house. That was all I needed.

As I walked down the hallway, the sounds of Oprah got louder on the TV. She was interviewing somebody, but the camera was so focused on Oprah herself that it was unclear to me who exactly was opposite her.

"Ball, you bad. Down lick? Bad gil," Georgina was saying. I could see Baby Doll on her lap standing up as she tried to lick her arm desperately.

Oh Jesus just hearing her talk was paining my heart. I had no idea what she was saying, but she sounded happy. Wasn't that the most important point?

The TV finally flicked to the person Oprah was interviewing, revealing Stevie Wonder. My eyes brightened, unexpected happiness in my heart. God I wished Miss Cha Cha was here. She'd have loved to see him.

"You bad! You bad! Down!"

I blinked. Those words had been crystal clear. Sudden relief flushed into my core, knowing I'd understood a little bit. At least I wasn't hopeless. I had to keep telling myself that over these past few days.

Behind the couch I pressed my hands on the pillow next to Georgina and I saw her jump harshly, her eyes wide at me with fear for a split second, but she immediately relaxed. That pained me, too. Why did she do that? I'd seen her do it a couple of times these past few days.

I tried to brush it off, but it was so hard. "I was going to make a snack. Do you want one? I can get it for you," I offered, trying to deflect that I'd seen her jump like that, trying to deflect my pain, too. I'd wanted to help her like this, getting her things and being there for her. So I was doing it and it felt good, but seeing her like this...

Baby Doll saw me and padded off her lap, coming towards me and sat down while staring up at me. Her eyes looked begging. I went to put my hand on her head, but she met my hand before I could, loud rumbling purrs erupting as she did so. Georgina smiled again, reaching out to pet her tail. We were silent for a moment as we pet her together. Baby Doll looked like she was in pure ecstasy.

"Sack? Oh, no, dinis soon?" Georgina said, still smiling but looking at me now.

My other hand curled, hidden behind the couch, reflecting my frustration in my confusion. I needed to understand. I had to. I didn't want her to feel embarrassed or anything like that. She might, and I couldn't bear that. She didn't deserve it. So I tried. I knew what the first word was, because she had to have been referencing what I had said to her, so maybe it was snack? But that d-word. I had no idea what that was, so... I'd noticed that when Miss Cha Cha was around she understood more than me and would chime in. But she wasn't here now.

Sighing deeply in shame, I looked her straight in her happy blue eyes. Seeing my face, her own face fell immediately and my fist clenched tighter, the shame rippling through me as surely as if her fallen face had been a rock thrown through my confidence. "I'm sorry, I didn't understand..." I said quietly, half hoping she didn't hear me properly either so maybe in some sick way we'd be even.

"Oh." She smiled again, but her eyes didn't follow. I wondered if I'd ever be able to stop seeing fake smiles, or at least stop recognizing them. Because this particular fake smile was breaking my heart and I couldn't take it. She was silent now, seeming to be in thought, and I hoped it wasn't in embarrassment.

Soon. She's said the word "soon." But had that been meant as the word "soon" or something else? My lips pressed together and I hadn't meant to. I was just too frustrated at myself.

"Din. Is. Soon?" She said finally, breaking our silence as Oprah chattered on in the background among Baby Doll's rumbly purring.

I blinked at her. She sat there patiently, ever regal looking even dressed in a nightgown and house slippers in the middle of the afternoon.

"Um...din?" I repeated. A flush went up in my face, and I knew I was blushing from ear to ear. I held my breath, trying to make it go away but she had to be seeing this. Was that okay?

"Din," she said again, but this time a blessing with it. She began to make like she was holding a knife and fork, making scooping motions towards her mouth, then she stopped and smiled at me again.

Suddenly it dawned on me with this help. Oh. I'd been so stupid. She'd meant dinner. Dinner was soon. Right it was, it was almost five o'clock. But then I remembered. Was she aware?

"Miss Cha Cha has a class at six tonight," I told her gently, staring at her face again. She listened calmly. "She won't be home until nine on account of the traffic, because her class ends at eight-thirty. She goes to Fred's over on...um...anyway. I'm gonna make dinner tonight. Um...are you hungry?" My fist clenched again, anticipating her response. My heart squeezed, hoping desperately that I'd be able to understand her this time. Wishing so hard.

She nodded. "I know."

I smiled at her, joining her smile. I'd understood that. Thank god.

But she went on. "Ca you may pas?"

"Um..." I sighed. My body was trying to make me choke up, but I resisted. Was this going to happen every time we were alone? Warmness was trying to overtake my eyes, but I resisted. No tears. God if I cried in front of her? I didn't want to make her worry. This wasn't her fault and she shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed or anything like that. I was repeating myself, but it was the complete truth. But what was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to do when what she'd just said sounded like French, nothing at all like English? And she was staring at me expectantly like she'd just spoken clear as day to me. Did she not understand that she wasn't speaking right?

My heart was breaking.

"Here," she said, and just like that she was getting off the couch. I panicked, rounding the couch as quickly as I could. I'd seen her stumble before, lose her balance mysteriously. Thank god that me and Ambrose had weighted everything to the floor because I didn't know what I'd do if she fell.

"Wait, I-" I couldn't find the words either. My own tongue had been about to go into Spanish in my panic, not knowing what to do. My hands found her arm, and she looked at me and gave me such a grateful expression. Like this, she began to walk to the kitchen and I followed, supporting her.

Once in the kitchen, she was looking up at the cabinets. She reached out, and leaned more on me but successful she opened up one of the cabinets. It was the one that held all of the dry foods, cereals, pastas, taco shells and stuff.

And that's when I saw it, shocking me. She didn't even need to point for me, it all made sense in a wave of realization that startled me profoundly.

Pasta. That's what she'd been asking for. I wanted to burst into tears, right here holding her arm.

"Do you want that? Pasta? Which one? I can make it for dinner. At five?" I asked, so relieved but still so scared, because I'd just asked a series of questions that I wasn't sure I'd know the answer to when she said them. This was so hard. Why did it have to be so hard? But...I stared at her face next to me, staring up at the pastas. She looked peaceful, seeming to be contemplating the options. I was so glad she was here, she was happy right now and only having to worry about what pasta to eat for dinner. That relief. I couldn't describe it.

The emotions going through me right now was taking my breath away, but I concentrated also, looking up at the pastas with her and waiting for an answer that I'd have to decipher like a puzzle again, and then waiting for the next one and the next.

But it didn't come. Because this time, she just pointed and gave me that same smile. That reassuring smile which gave me such a feeling of well-being, like she still had authority in being the older one and me the younger and not anything different. Like she was trying to assure me in a comforting way that everything was going to be okay, it was just around the corner.

My eyes followed her finger, to the blue ziti box. She wanted ziti? That was easy. I could make that no problem.

"You want ziti? I could have it ready by 5:30? Is that okay?" I realized after two seconds that all I'd said was questions again. I blushed.

"Yes," she said, answering all of my questions simply and efficiently.

"Okay. Want to go sit down again? Oprah's almost over. We could watch it together?"

"Oh," she said, smiling again. She seemed very pleased at this. Was she happy that we were going to sit together? I knew I was. I was just happy we had gotten through this last part so easily.

With this, I led her to the couch and saw to her sitting down gingerly, then sat next to her. Baby Doll had been waiting for us and immediately she settled down on Georgina's lap. Just like before, she began trying to lick Georgina but this time she didn't protest, just with that pleased smile. She began petting her head with slow strokes.

I followed her eyes at this, and saw that they indeed looked happy unlike on the couch before. I sighed in this realization, turning to the TV and watching as Stevie Wonder began singing "Isn't She Lovely." My body relaxed completely into the couch in such deep relief.