Walking from the front of my building to Carl's car, my eyes were scanning the backseat for any signs of upset on Cha Cha's face. There was a fine misty cover of rain, something Paulie would call a "shroud". Paulie. I sighed, my brain flitting to him. But I couldn't think of him right now. All I could do was hope he was in good hands, as good hands as mine should have been.

Cha Cha gave me a cute smile and waved to me from the backseat. I returned with one of mine. My black shoe hit water, a shallow puddle from the rain. I tip-toed through this, my hand going for an invisible skirt. Strongly aware of the doorman behind me, I shook my hand to hide my habit.

"Come on, kid. Those Wednesday fuddie-duddies won't wait," Carl called from his rolled down window.

"Some of those Wednesday fuddie-duddies come from my building, believe me I know," I sighed again. Cha Cha leaned over on the backseat and opened the door for me. He took my suitcase bag.

"Thank you, precious," I said quiet enough so the doorman couldn't possibly hear me and slid in next to him. He immediately took my hand, squeezing it. I was grateful for it's comforting warmth. Our hands laid together on top of my suitcase between us, casual as can be.

"You eat anything?" Carl asked, his face intent on the slick road before him. "You know you gotta eat before the rush. There's no time with just the two of you for breaks."

I closed my eyes. Such a reminder of Paulie not being here. But that was just it, wasn't it? He wasn't here. There was nothing we could do about it. It was just fact, and there was no telling when he'd be back. "No, I didn't eat anything. I was too nervous."

"Nervous? What're you getting nervous for? You've done this how many times?"

Cha Cha squeezed my hand again and I saw his face turn to me. He was giving me an encouraging smile. He was so brave for one so young. If I didn't know him, I'd think him naïve, but those innocent days were over.

"I'm nervous about Eddie." My eyes fell to my knees. The bottom of my ugly, brown wool coat was draped on them and I wanted to shift it away so I couldn't see it, but even after five days my bad hand was still zinging and pinging with pain. In all honesty, I wasn't really sure how I was going to serve drinks. But who else was going to do it? Who?

"Oh, Eddie. Right. Hmm..."

The truth of the matter was Eddie probably would not enjoy Cha Cha, whom he awfully called nigger like it was his name, to wait on him and he definitely wouldn't want me to (and I didn't want to either, god no). So what were we going to do? Paulie was the only one who would have been acceptable to him now, though he didn't like Paulie being Jewish. Yes, he saw Paulie as being one of us "girly men", but what else could we-

"Shoot!" Carl's hands went flying, turning the wheel to the left like crazy, shifting rapidly on the rainy street as a car slid towards us on the wintry ice.

"Ah!" I cried out in a burst, unhinging my hand from Cha Cha's and slapping my arm in front of his chest to prevent him from jolting forward into the passenger headrest. His eyes were wide like he was seeing death, straining on my arm in the opposite gravity.

Our car came to a full safe stop, throwing us back in our seats. I leaned forward, inspecting Cha Cha all over. "You okay, baby?" I asked him gently, my eyes flying over him.

"Si," he said like a little scared child.

"It's okay, no harm done. Goddamn ice. Don't they salt the roads anymore? How much do we pay in taxes for them not to salt the goddamn roads?!" Carl spouted, fuming like a chimney and for good reason.

"Yeah, you're right," I said, still inspecting Cha Cha for any signs of harm. He looked alright, but I needed to make sure.

We continued to the club without further injury, but the reality of it. It forced me with unfair reason to evaluate things. Where we were going, what we were doing. How quickly that could be over and was changing with Paulie gone. For the rest of the ride, Cha Cha stared out of the window, and the maturity in his young eyes told me he was probably thinking similar if not more horrible.

"Yo!" A large hand was waving at us as we pulled up. Carl's car waited as we got out. He'd find parking somewhere else, but he was being polite. I focused on the person waving at us from the rain drenched sidewalk, being drenched himself. Familiar red, wavy hair in a style much too flamboyant for this crowd. Skin spotted with freckles even in winter like mine. He was wearing our waiter uniform, black slacks, black vest, white crisp shirt, red bow tie. Gross. His body looked long and lean in it, his tight abs making it look almost sexy. But there was no way to make that outfit sexy.

He offered me a hand, and I took it with my good one. As he pulled me out of the car, I recognized him from a far off nightmare.

"Genesis!" I hissed, the image of a strongly hipped, big bosomed queen with long curly red hair in a slinky, silver white gown flashed in my brain. "What are you doing here?!"

"Cute boy called me. Promised me one hundred dollars to be a waiter/valet. One hundred dollars! So of course I came all the way up from Philadelphia on a moment's notice. Who cares about a silly contest when I can have a guaranteed one hundred dollars for a few hours of service? Fancy seeing you here. Just kidding, I knew you'd be here. Why do you think I said yes? And who is this little slip of a thing?" He was talking up a storm, launched like some wizard had cast a spell on him.

"What- cute boy-" I was startled completely.

"Cute boy. Blonde hair, these blue-green eyesss. Oh, gorgeous. Ugh. I can't help it. When I saw he was the one who called me! Why, hello, little doll. What's your name?" Genesis was running his neatly manicured hands through Cha Cha's puffy curls on the sidewalk now. Cha Cha was looking very shy.

"Stop that!" I scolded, looking around quickly. I grabbed Cha Cha's hand and pulled him with me away from Genesis, relief flooding in his sweet brown eyes. Genesis followed behind us, still chattering like a bird.

"I haven't seen you in over a year! What have you been doing? You still doing pageants? I heard Paulie's in the rehab for the drugs. Poor thing. I take no responsibility, you understand? You know I only do brownies, if that's doing anything at all. Now really, what is the little one's name?"

"Cha Cha." Cha Cha said this ever so shyly. I wanted to scoop him up where he stood. He seemed so small compared to Genesis.

"That's Val for tonight, though, and you are to introduce yourself as James, Genesis. Do you understand me? You don't understand these people, being from Philly. These people don't take games," I said quickly.

"Val? What's that short for?" Genesis was beaming at Cha Cha still. It terrified me. What if he wasn't going to play by the rules? Why was he even here? It was buzzing around in my brain. The man who called him. He'd been describing...no way.

"It's short for Valentin," I replied, making my way up the hallway to the bathroom now. My eyes laid on a strange mark in the wall, sort of a nick in the tile. Then I remembered and cringed.

"That sounds kind of foreign. Where you from?"

I wanted Genesis to stop talking to Cha Cha. He looked so shook up like he had ever since our near collision. Even more, I wanted Genesis to listen to me. Why was he ignoring me? "Come on into the bathroom with me, Cha Cha. Don't you have cars to valet?" I asked Genesis with a nod of my head towards the front doors.

"Oh, what's with the cold shoulder, huh? Why are you talking to your Auntie this way?"

I ushered Cha Cha into the bathroom with my suitcase, then closed the door behind him with an assuring smile. I leaned against it, now facing Genesis outside the best I could, my face stone cold. His overly cheerful green eyes were targeted on me, his smile grand. It made my heart freeze like the ice outside, making cars skid out of control.

"Look here. Seriously," I hissed like I had before, finally able to speak to him seriously with Cha Cha on the other side of the door, "I don't know why or how you were called, but you can not act like this out on the floor. Do you understand me? This isn't a drag club tonight, and you can not act like it ever was! These people. These people are powerful, conservative. They don't take any shit."

"Oh come on," he said in a joking manner, the smile still on his face. He didn't believe me.

"Don't be stupid," I said louder, staring into his eyes towering over me. "They'll fucking kill you. They've done it before. You were better off at your contest in Philly. I don't want you here and don't come back."

He looked deeply hurt. "You don't want me here?" It seemed like he'd completely ignored the words before these.

"That's not what I meant." I sighed. I wanted to knock my head on the wall in frustration.

"Then what do you mean?"

"Listen. To. Me. Will you?" This came out worse than I meant, but the worse the better. His eyes widened. Finally, he was listening.

"What do you mean about killing? Don't scare me."

"I have to scare you. That's the whole goddamned point. These people. They're mafia people, do you understand? You knew this club was run by the mob. You know what goes on in those back rooms, don't you? You're friends with Paulie and all. You know. I know he's told you."

"Yeah, he told me, but I always thought it was just kind of cool?"

"Cool...? Cool?"

"Yeah."

"Are you nuts?"

"A little bit."

"Don't make jokes."

"Sorry. But what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about..." I pressed my two fingers on the bridge of my nose in frustration. Was Genesis always this much of a ditz? Or had I been too wide eyed back then to notice... I sighed. "I mean act like a goddamned man tonight."

"I am a man. Don't be mean."

"You know what I mean. Don't do this."

"Fine. I'll butch it up. I'll be like Gregory Peck. No, like Rock Hudson! Oh, Rock Hudson. That's even better!"

"Whatever. God, just don't act like this."

"Okay, Georgie."

"And don't call me 'Georgie'. Call me George out there."

"Yup." He was beaming anew, and god how I hoped he'd do what I demanded.

"There's this one guy you have to be careful about. His name is Eddie."

"Yup, Edward. I was told about him specifically. He's my job tonight."

What?

"What do you mean?" I stared up at him. He was still smiling dumbly. He had no idea at all what he had gotten himself into and god the worry vibrating in my heart.

"The guy on the phone. He told me I was supposed to babysit this guy named Edward Caselotti. Oh, I know who he is, of course, I'm not stupid. Well, not that stupid." He started laughing. My serious expression didn't change.

"So you did know you were coming into a club with mafia activity. Jesus Christ, and you still planned to act like this?" I wanted to smack him.

"Sorry. But good thing you're here to literally set me straight, right?" He laughed again. My hand itched. Why couldn't he be serious for once? Then it occurred to me.

"Are you high?" I growled.

"No, darling." He looked perplexed at this question.

"Well that's one thing. But goddammit just be serious out there, okay?" I changed my tone now, to try to get him to understand where I was coming from. I wanted, needed, him to know. "I love you, okay? You're my auntie and I wouldn't forget. That's why I need you to act different." This turned out to be a good tactic.

"Aww, I knew you'd remember. Youth. How easy you often forget."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Okay, darling. I'll do as you say."

"Okay. Go valet cars. Be Rock Hudson."

"Roger that!"

He saluted to me with two fingers and then twirled on his polished black heel. I breathed out, watching him go. Indeed, there was not a hint of the usual sashay in his hips. My hand hovered over my heart, trying to calm the vicious, concerned beating for this so important person in my life.

"Who that?" Cha Cha asked as I entered the bathroom. He looked to have been patiently waiting.

"That's Genesis. He's Paulie's friend from way back. They used to be in contests together in the fifties. I don't understand why he's fucking- sorry. I don't understand why he's here."

"I not like way he talk about Paulie. About rehab."

I looked up at him in the mirror as I opened my suitcase. His face was so sad. Of course it was. For Genesis to talk about Paulie being in rehab so flippantly. He didn't know how painful the experience to get him there had been, especially for Cha Cha. I decided to talk to Genesis about it later, to tell him to not mention it anymore, at least not in front of Cha Cha.

"I know. I didn't like it either," I tried to assure him.

With this, I took my wide tooth comb out of the suitcase's toiletries pocket and beckoned Cha Cha close to me. He drifted in front of me, looking into the mirror in a ghostly way. His eyes were distant, painful. This was the exact look I had been searching for out in the rain in front of my building. I knew it was there somewhere hiding. It had been ever since last week when Paulie...

A sigh came out of me again, and I began to comb his sweet black curls into place. My hand slipped into my bag, getting my hairspray in the small can.

"Close your eyes, baby," I ordered him gently. He did as he was asked immediately, so different from the tall red-head now valeting cars for our first patrons this Wednesday night.

As I combed and sprayed Cha Cha's tight curls into place, making them look as neat and presentable as possible for our conservative crowd, my thoughts wandered.

They wandered to a place not so long ago though it seemed so far away. A place where I never smiled and a tall redhead in a silver white gown was combing and cutting away my pale blonde hair in this very bathroom. My eyes had been closed, tears streaming down my cheeks. I remembered it like it was yesterday.

"You can't have that long hair. Not here, honey. I've got a platinum blonde Marilyn Monroe wig that would be just you, though. I'll give it to you. Oh, hey. I can give it to Paulie to give to you!"

"I don't want a wig!"

"Sacrilege! A wig is better than your own hair. You'll see!"

How kind Genesis had been to drive up from Philadelphia that night, grooming me to work here. As I worked on Cha Cha's curls in a similar way, it occurred to me that Genesis had known exactly what kind of people came here on Wednesdays back then. Why else would he have cut my hair?

I sighed, squeezing the dispenser of the hairspray, rolling my eyes. Had he been joking with me outside of the bathroom? That whole time? He always said I was too serious. If he was joking I'd punch him right in the face. But what would he say to that? Punch me if you can reach that high, baby! Yeah, that's probably what he'd say. I sighed again.

"You sigh a lot tonight," Cha Cha said sweetly, his eyes closed to protect against the spray.

"Yeah. Sorry. I hope I'm not worrying you? I'm okay."

"I worry anyway."

"Why?" I peeked around to the side of his face. He looked calm, but...

"I alway worry."

"Oh, sweetie."

"Somebody have to."

This hurt my heart. What did he mean? It caught me off guard. I put the hairspray can on the sink with the comb. Without a word, I took him in my arms from behind and immediately he relaxed into me. "You don't have to worry. I'll worry for you, okay? It doesn't have to be all on your shoulders. It's not like that."

"What it like?" his eyes were still closed, but his expression looked more relaxed, like his body.

"It's just not like that," I repeated. The hairspray smell went up my nose, so strong, making me feel a little dizzy.

"Okay," he said, quiet again like before.

I wanted to make everything okay. But that was impossible. I sighed again, knowing it would just make him worry more but what was I supposed to do? I was worried, too. About everything.

"Somewhere beyond the sea, my lover stands on golden sands! And watches the ships, that go sailin'."

"Take this to table seven. Right, another pink lady. A bloody Mary. That's for table sixteen, isn't it? Fine. I'll make them."

"If I could fly like birds on high, and straight to her arms, I'd go sailin'."

"Don't forget this Old Fashioned! I nearly killed myself making it!"

"I know beyond a doubt! My heart will lead me there soon!"

Oh, goddammit. My own heart flipped over like a fish as Frankie crooned up there on stage about hearts and sands and ships. I could hardly pay attention to what I was doing. The way he sang the word "heart" just now. Jesus. There were practically tears in my eyes. My brain tried to wander, but I kept it on a straight track, like a blinding train. A pink lady. Right. I had to make a pink lady, but-

"Beyond the shore! We'll kiss, just as before!"

Him kissing me by the sea in Hawaii.

"Happy we'll be beyond the sea! And never again, I'll go sailin'!"

"Earth to George!"

"Ah!" I let out a little squeal then covered my mouth, getting rooted back into reality. I hoped nobody had heard me squeal just then.

"Haha, what're you thinking about?" It was Carl standing next to me. He seemed to be making a Tom Collins, shoving lemon slices into a tall glass with square ice cubes.

"Nothing, nothing," I covered quickly, my hand going to sweep back my hair but then I realized with a jolt that I wasn't wearing a wig. It settled to scratch my earlobe.

"Yeah, okay. What did you say before about a bloody Mary?"

"I h-have to make a bloody Mary after this pink lady for table sixteen." I was still startled from my daydream, jarred into a reality I didn't want to be in. The dream was so much more appealing with no worries there.

"I'll make the pink lady, okay? I saw how hard it was to get that egg white out for you with your hand like that." He was smiling at me kindly. Oh, how I appreciated it. Though calling me George for appearances, he was still making these considerations for me as he would for a female.

"Thank you so much."

"No problem." He swung around, turning to access the mini fridge with our eggs under the service station.

"Whiskey sour."

I turned around to meet the patron who'd just asked for the whiskey sour. My eyes narrowed unintentionally and I tried to rearrange my features immediately to a more friendly one, but how hard it was.

"How's your hand?" Luciano asked, leaning over the bar as close to me as possible. A creepy feeling flew up into my lungs, making it hard to breathe.

"It's fine. Getting fine. Better. Whiskey sour?"

"Yeah. How you doing?"

He wanted to talk. Of course he did. I swallowed. "I'll have your whiskey sour in a minute."

"Make two. Drink with me. I'll pay for it." He was grinning now. Goddammit. My heart was pounding.

"I can't drink on the job. Excuse me."

"Fine, fine. I'll be waiting."

I held my breath, trying to control it. My eyes squeezed shut when I turned away from him, but then I realized he could still see me in the mirror behind the bar. And of course he was looking at me. I put on the most fake smile in the world as he stared at me in the glass, that stupid smile on his face, too. With my good hand, I gathered the ingredients for a bloody Mary, completely aware of how late it was now. Genesis was standing at the bar, the pink lady on his otherwise empty tray. Goddammit, I wasn't going to be fast enough.

"Carl, please make the bloody Mary, I'm so sorry," I burst louder than I intended to. A blush rose immediately to my cheeks.

"Sure thing." He slid my gathered ingredients across the service station and set to work like a film that was sped up, just like always. I felt so embarrassed.

Quickly, I picked up the good whiskey and poured it into a mixing glass, my brain on high alert, thinking about Luciano. I splashed this in, then found the lemon juice against the wall and-

"Ow, god!" I shrieked as the heavy lemon juice slipped out of my injured hand. In almost slow motion, I watched it drop and crash on the floor. The new bottle of lemon juice splattered everywhere, soaking the bottoms my awful black waiter pants.

Carl gasped sharply behind me and grabbed my arm, my head swimming in the sudden movement of my body as he pulled me away from all of the broken glass on the floor.

"Go to the office," he whispered sharply to me.

"I'm so sorry, Carl," I apologized, my voice squeaking. I couldn't take it.

"Just go on." This was more gentle.

"Okay." My voice was in an unmasculine whine now, but I couldn't control it.

Behind me, I heard Luciano speaking to Carl in an urgent way, but I didn't care to hear him. I knew what he was saying anyway. He probably wanted to know if I was alright. It disgusted me, the creepy feeling sinking into my stomach.

I was in the office for about an hour when the door opened. I straightened up in the chair, trying to cover up how down in the dumps I was.

"Hey, pretty eyes," a smooth voice eased into my heart.

Oh. I breathed in, my daydream becoming a reality, but not the right one.

"Frankie." I got up from the blue lined office chair and extended my arms to him. He found his way into them and wrapped his own around me, kissing my forehead. His warm lips. I sighed, all of my problems being washed away. He was solving them all just by being here.

"You okay? I saw you drop that bottle from the stage. I was watching you. Singing to you, actually...I always do. Are you okay?"

Wow. My heart completely melted at his words. Singing to me? Had he been singing about kissing me on the sands, on the shore? This reality may not have been the right one, but it was getting there.

"Yes, I'm okay. But...I dropped that bottle, because Luciano made me so frazzled. I can't deal with him, Frankie."

"Aww, honey pie. I'd make it so he can't come here anymore, but he's a friend of the family. I'm sorry."

I settled into him, breathing in that berry cologne he always wore. It cleared my lungs. "I know. I just wish I didn't have to deal with him anymore. He wanted me to drink with him, too. I can't..."

"Do you want me to talk to him? I will. He listened to me before."

I nuzzled my nose into his suit jacket, the material warm on my skin. "Yeah," my voice came muffled in this pose.

"What do you want me to say?"

Oh. I was quiet. I had no idea what to say to him, let alone what Frankie should say to him on my behalf. He waited patiently for me to speak, his arms so tight around me it felt like I wasn't on earth anymore.

"I just don't want him to bother me anymore."

"You got it."

I exhaled, my warm breath coming back at me, bouncing off his suit jacket, but mostly soaking into him.

"By the way, your friend Jeannie is working out well. Might have to hire him for a while. He really knows what he's doing."

"Huh?" I parted from him a little, to see his face. He was gazing down at me. "Do you mean Genesis?"

"Oh, yeah that's what Paulie said. I've been calling him Jeannie, like I Dream of Jeannie. Thank you." He started giggling at this.

"Paulie?"

"Yeah."

"What are you talking about 'Paulie said'?" I was completely mystified.

"Oh, right. You don't know. He called me the other day from the hospital. I was shocked. He said he was worried about us being understaffed and then there was your hand. He suggested I call this 'pageant queen' he knows named Jean- Genesis. Gave me his phone number. When I called him I was shocked! I had no idea I was calling Philadelphia. But he was so nice anyway. It was so funny on the phone with Paulie, though. He said, 'Genesis isn't anything on stage. Can't dance, can't sing a note. He can only look pretty.' I was laughing so hard and he was, too."

"That's not true, he can dance and sing." I gathered myself up straighter, paying attention to every word coming from his mouth.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He probably said that, because they're old rivals in Philly."

"Really? That's interesting."

"Yeah." I found the idea of Paulie laughing was calming me even more. I was so glad. Was he doing alright? Why hadn't he called me to talk if he could call out? But I didn't want to think about this, just focus on Frankie for now.

For a few more minutes, he held me. Somewhere in, he began to kiss me and I felt like I was flying like a bird, far beyond the stars. I lost myself in the beautiful feeling, him the only being in the universe like in my daydream.

He pulled away from the kiss, but he was smiling at me. He looked so content and I could see myself in his eyes looking the same way. "I'm going to visit you tonight. Wait for me. Around 3AM? I promise." His words were tucked into my heart as he said them.

"Alright."

He kissed me one last time, a lingering peck. "I have to go now. They're probably missing me on the floor. You know...Eddie and all. Carl wants you to stay in here. Maybe you could look over some of the orders?"

"Ah, no. I can't. I never learned algebra."

"Oh. Really?" He looked uncomfortable. I felt sorry, but I couldn't change it.

"Yeah. I'll tell you about it later. You have to go now."

"Yeah."

With this, he gave me one last squeeze, and I felt like a pastry bag full of sweetness, the happy feelings being forced out of my gut in his squeeze. I didn't want him to leave, but he'd be back. He'd visit me tonight, so I thought of this fact as I watched his back disappear around the door which he closed very gently.

I sighed and sat in the blue chair again. What a strange night. I couldn't decide if it was awful or just okay. I didn't think there was a word for tonight. It was just was. Atypical, but not in its unpredictability.

Oh there it was. That was the word. This night was unpredictable, just like always.