"Ah!"

I heard a gasp behind me and his arms squeezed around my quivering body, instantly soothing me in the dark.

"Are you alright?" came Frankie's tired voice, awoken in surprise.

"Y-yeah...I had a dream about that lady cop from the-"

"Yeah, the club. You don't have to remember. You know...if you tell me who she is, I'll have my Dad complain to the city and get her fired. She'll never do that again."

I sighed, thinking about it. Rolling over, I wrapped my arms around him. His concerned face filled my vision in the bare moonlight streaming in from the yacht's little windows. We had come here, because I didn't feel safe again, and now I was doubly glad to be here after that dream.

"I don't remember her name," I told him quietly, but yes I did. I do remember her name. It's burned into my retinas. Michelle Copley. Right on her badge, which I saw every place. His offer was very generous every time he said it, but I was conflicted. Wasn't she just doing-

"I know what you're thinking, Georgina. You can't hide from me. She wasn't doing her job. Touching people like that isn't-"

I squeezed him now, hoping he'd stop talking. He did stop speaking for a moment, silenced by my childish act, but he started again. However, this time it was different, comforting.

"You're sure you don't remember her name? Well okay, pretty eyes. Even if I can't get her fired, I'll be here for you. Anything you need," he whispered, burrowing and kissing my nose, then my lips. It was so warm. He flooded me with love, attempting to replace my fear. With every breath, smelling him, knowing he was pressed against me in this safe space, hearing the gentle rocking of the boat, I tried to be comforted. I knew it would take a bit longer, but as long as Frankie was with me, hugging me, I could always be comforted, no matter how long it took.

"Hold this, Cha Cha."

"What this is?"

"Shake it."

Jingle, jingle!

"Ah! What this is! I like this one!"

I giggled and Frankie hugged me from behind. I was sitting on his lap as usual, but this time it was on a stool in my apartment. We watched Paulie bring out a second jingly thing from his bag. Cha Cha took it eagerly and shook one of them near his ear. A wide beam spread across his sweet face.

"What this is? I know it, but what name is?"

"It's a tambourine," I piped up and Paulie nodded, taking out reindeer bells on a stick from his bag, too. Seeing this, I laughed. "Gosh, Paulie. You must have been jingling and jangling all up and down the street."

"All the better for 'Jingle Bells'," he said without breaking a smile, tossing the reindeer bells to me. So he was still feeling the talk I had with him a couple of days ago. I was glad he was thinking about it, but since it was preventing him from having his head in the game I was unsure. We were supposed to be practicing for our annual holiday show, but he hadn't popped a grin all day. With normally smiley and jokey Paulie, it was a highly noticible problem. But I knew he was going through major things right now, so I didn't say a thing about it for his sake. I just hoped he'd be able to smile for our Christmas show.

Before I could think another thought, pink milk in a tall glass swooped around from the bar behind me, and Frankie held the glass up to me. I looked back towards his face, and he gave me a little encouraging smile, which I matched. He'd been making me strawberry milk more and more since the incident at the club, knowing it made me feel good, because it made him feel good. Maybe in not the same way, it didn't give me nostalgia like it did him, but it reminded me of his love which was better than nostalgia in my opinion.

I sipped it and held it in my hand, the smile remaining on my face. Paulie had taken a tambourine and was tapping it to 'Jingle Bells' in a rhythm, teaching Cha Cha. "Don't smack it against your body. We're not putting on that kind of show," he was saying, showing him how to tap the tambourine with his fingers. I noticed an unkindness in his voice, confusing me.

"How about this?" Cha Cha asked, taking the tambourine from Paulie's hands with an excited jerk, not picking up on his tone. Paulie looked surprised and maybe a little miffed, his eyes betraying him at least to me who knew his expressions so well.

Cha Cha shook them quickly, rising them up slowly from his thighs to up above his head. The tambourines sounded like twin rattle snakes. Wiggling his hips, he stepped forwards and backwards to his own rhythm, to a song in his head. His eyes were closed, feeling the dance, the tambourine jingles following his steps as he began to twirl around.

"Oh wow," Frankie whispered behind me, truly impressed.

Cha Cha seemed to glow with excitement, beaming at us now. "We do 'Jingle Bells' with this in Spanish and the cha cha cha and-"

"NO," Paulie barked without warning. I gasped as pink milk splashed all over my plush white carpet, spilling out of my glass as I had started violently. "Frankie, get me some nap-" I began, quickly getting up from his lap. But I didn't get to finish.

"Why we not do it?" Cha Cha asked, showing a boldness I didn't know he had. He was looking up at Paulie with a smart expression, his feet firmly planted on the white carpet with the tambourines gripped at his waist.

"Because we're not. No one's going to enjoy that. They just want to come be entertained, hear stuff they've always heard," Paulie barked at him, his harsh tone causing me to freeze in my spot. Where was this coming from? What was he...doing? He continued, his voice rising. "They don't want to be educated or-!"

"Is not education!" Cha Cha yelled unexpectedly, making Frankie and I jump again.

Paulie's eyebrows creased. "They don't speak Spanish, so how are they not-!"

"Educate! Educate like how you educate me at club?!" Cha Cha shouted, not paying attention to him now. Paulie froze and my heart plummeted to my toes. I could hear Frankie breathing in a careful way behind me. I breathed with him, trying to match him to calm myself, but my heart was going too fast.

"What did you say?" Paulie whispered, his eyes wide in surprise.

"You not understand me now?! You need be educate, too?!" Cha Cha snapped at him, throwing the tambourines down at the carpet with a violent burst of sound. He looked at me briefly with the maddest face I had ever seen on him, but then I recognized how hurt he was in his young brown eyes. Hurt for many reasons, and he had every right to be. Without another word, he ran into the nearest guest bedroom just off the living room, slamming the door which made us all startle again in finality.

Complete silence washed over the room, with Paulie standing in the middle looking abandoned and naked with all of his clothes on. I was speechless, and Frankie wisely kept his mouth shut. Paulie stared at the floor, his hands in fists. I knew now he hadn't yet spoken to Cha Cha about comfort or anything we'd spoken about. Why?

"Go talk to him, Paulie," I said simply, gesturing to the guest bedroom with my chin. "He's not going to forget or make out sense on his own. He's a teenager."

"I can't ever forget," he said mysteriously, then slowly making his way to the room. But as he turned the silver colored knob, it fought back. Locked.

"Go way!" Cha Cha's voice shrieked from within. "I want go home! I not want see you!"

Go home? What did he mean? To Carl's or...? The other option spurred fear in my heart, causing me to give Frankie the reindeer bells. He took them, but also took my hand, protective of me in love. I peered at him and he nodded, letting me go.

I joined Paulie at the door, and began knocking on it gently.

"No!" Cha Cha shouted, and something hit the door. It sounded like a shoe. I didn't budge. Paulie began shifting on his feet slowly, deeply embarrassed.

"Cha Cha, it's Georgina. Paulie wants to talk to you," I said as clearly as I could, hoping to reach him behind the door.

"No, I not want speak to him! He not same! He not Paulie!"

Paulie sighed and started to walk away from the door, defeated. I hooked my finger onto his dress shirt collar, stopping him like he'd walked into a clothes line.

"No," I whispered to him insistently, "you're talking to him."

"He doesn't want to be talked to. You heard the kid," he sighed quietly to me.

"He's just heartbroken. You need to comfort him," I whispered back.

"What you whispering?!" Cha Cha shouted, another shoe smacking into the door in his anger. But something in his voice sounded different now, a shift. It was an opening. He was breaking quickly. This told me he wasn't really angry, just upset. Maybe a little scared or a lot scared. It told me my plan would work out.

"We're whispering about how to talk to you," I said, leaning against the door.

There was silence and more silence. Then shuffling behind us. We looked back towards the living room and saw Frankie on the floor, rubbing the strawberry milk with a light blue kitchen towel. Even though I knew rubbing would cause the pink stain to be there forever, I didn't say anything. Somehow, I thought maybe having that pink stain there could be a good thing, for me. A reminder of him staring me in the face right at the bar all the time. It was perfect.

I fell backwards as the door opened behind me, lost in my thoughts. Luckily, I caught myself.

"Come in," Cha Cha said, surrendered, not noticing my stumble. Indeed, his yellow penny loafers were near the door, having been thrown at us.

I gestured to Paulie, pointing for him to go inside.

"No," Cha Cha choked, looking down at the pink carpet of the guest room.

"Hm?" I asked.

"Both you," he said, pulling at the sleeve of my white turtleneck sweater.

"Okay, Cha Cha," I assured quietly, slipping into the room. Paulie followed. Cha Cha sat on the bed, my old bed with the blue comforter. We took places on either side of him, the bed's plush mattress sinking with our combined weight. He was breathing heavily, obviously very upset. He didn't speak for a while, and neither did Paulie. I wanted one of them to talk, but neither offered.

"Cha Cha, I think-" I began.

"I want quit," Cha Cha said like he was five years old, shy and scared, staring down at his toes. "I not want this."

"Oh, Cha Cha," I sighed, putting my hand on his fluffy head.

"No, you listen. I not want this. I not want my friend to treat me like this. It not okay."

"Cha Cha, you have to understand something about Paulie," I tried to say calmly, wanting to say so much since Paulie wasn't speaking.

"You not stick up for him!" Cha Cha gasped, his eyes going wide. He slid away from us immediately, quick as a fish in water up the bed. Curled in a ball against the wall, he stared at me, looking frightened.

"Darling, it's not like that," I said gently, getting on my knees on the bed and crawling to him. Once there, I wrapped my arms around him, putting my chin on top of his soft mess of sweet black curls.

"Yeah, it's...not like that," Paulie whispered barely. Relief flowed over me like a waterfall.

"What it like?!" Cha Cha snapped, glaring at him. "What you mean when you let them take Georgina in bathroom? Sasha tell me what they doing to her!" I winced, which Cha Cha didn't see. So Sasha had told him, explained to him.

Paulie seemed hurt by this, as he should. He paused, but he looked like he was going to say more, so I didn't meddle.

"I didn't...let them do that to her," he said finally, ashamed.

"Where you was?!" Cha Cha yelled. I patted his back, but it made no difference.

"I was..." Paulie was hesitant, and I didn't blame him. How do you tell a fourteen year old that you're on drugs? But it was his burden to bear. He sighed. "Cha Cha, please tell me you know the laws of the land," he said, changing tactics with a point, one I saw but Cha Cha didn't.

Cha Cha opened his mouth to retort, but I interrupted him. "Cha Cha, sweetie, Paulie couldn't have prevented that lady cop from doing what she did. In fact, Paulie would have been right in there with me. And if we had fought back you would have had to spend the night with Sasha and Ganya," I tried to explain as easily as I could.

"What...what you mean," he whispered, his fear obvious to me.

"She's saying we would have been arrested," Paulie finished for me. Some boldness came over him, and he stared full on at Cha Cha, who was looking at him with an expression too innocent. It broke my heart. "And if you hadn't been in the lounge, that cop would have done the same to you, and since you don't have an ID, they probably would have taken you downtown all alone, found out you're fourteen and either sent you back upstate or God knows where," Paulie said, continuing in a voice I was not too sure of. It sounded accusing, and I wondered if he meant it that way.

Cha Cha's lip went out and I hugged him closer to me dearly. His eyes started to brim with tears.

"And what you doing in other lounge? Why you in there and not with me? If you there, maybe Georgina not be searched in bathroom!" he shouted in hurt, a baby shout in his newly falling tears.

Paulie looked at me desperately, but I stared back at him neutrally. Cha Cha's words hit me hard. It was true what he was saying. If Paulie had gone into the lounge with us, Ganya wouldn't have had to pull me out of the lounge because he wouldn't have had to go get our Shirley Temples. Therefore, he never would have seen those cops and never would have had to tell me about them outside the doorway. It was the absolute truth: if Paulie had gone with us like the original plan, none of this would have happened.

"I..." Paulie started, his voice full of surrender, "I was..." he was still staring at me, searching for words and wanting my help. He sighed and gazed at the floor, utterly defeated in shame. "Please understand, I'm not trying to do anything to you. It's not like that. I just..." he let out all of his air and ran his fingers through his hair over and over. "Um...well..." He put his head in his hands and began talking, finally. I held Cha Cha close to me, trying to comfort him as he learned the truth.

"See, I was...with Miracle. You met her, right? Tall, skinny queen with dark skin and long black hair? She told me she met you...um...she's...addicted to heroin and um... I'm kind of... I'm... I'm her dealer," he said the last word so quietly I barely made it out. Cha Cha's sweet brown eyes went wide and so did my blue ones.

"What?" I whispered, loosening my arms around Cha Cha in my shock, wanting to curl up in my own fear.

"I'm um...I deal to all of them... I don't... I have to try everything I deal. Avi is the one who deals to me and I keep them all on... But...I don't..."

"Oh, Paulie," I choked, bursting into tears myself.

"I'm sorry, but...it was really good stuff. The coke, too. I took some hits with her and the barkeep to show her it was the good stuff, well... She wanted to do speedballs and I want... I wanted to... I was so upset about Avi with Esther now and I couldn't... I couldn't say no! I couldn't..."

"Paulie, speedballs are so dangerous!" I cried at him, sliding to him on the bed, hugging him protectively, "don't you ever-!"

"Georgina, I can't-" he hiccupped.

"I know Avi is scumbag," Cha Cha said to himself against the wall.

"I'm a- I'm a scumbag, too." Paulie began to sob silently, then his hands swept back into his hair. He held his head this way, looking so awful, broken.

Cha Cha sniffled and I felt his thin arms hugging us. "How you get out?" he asked quietly.

"I don't kn- knooow," Paulie wailed, crying harder.

"Is Avi threatening you?" I asked seriously, turning him to me. "Does he want you to deal to them? Is that your territory or whatever it's called?" He couldn't look at me, too ashamed. What exactly did we really know about Avi? I started to re-evaluate everything I knew about him, every memory flying past my eyes, searching for clues of his scumminess.

"N-no," he whispered, shaking, "Avi i-is...you know he's a pussy. That- those drugs are for me. Avi buys them for me, from somebody who comes into his grocery store. He gives him money. He doesn't want to, but I make him... I'm the scumbag... I am..." he sniffed long, but crying mess still fell down his face like running water. "I don't want to stop..." he sniffled, curling down towards the floor, but I stopped him, holding him tightly. "I'm- I think I can't stop... Avi knows. He's the only one who knows...knew...he tried to get me to stop, but...I just can't and I think that's why he's with..." He choked on his words, talking about Esther, and stopped speaking.

"You can stop," I assured him with authority, trying to halt any thoughts of his that would cause him to think the contrary as an imprint on his mind.

"No, I can't. I can't!" he cried, starting to sob so much I feared he was having a nervous breakdown. He hugged himself, beginning to rock back and forth. I didn't budge my hold on him, rocking with him. We let him cry. Talking didn't matter anymore. He'd said what he needed to say.

We jumped together as Cha Cha started to talk, saying what he needed to say.

"I know you say you can not stop," he said close to us. Paulie's head whipped to him, focusing on him entirely. Cha Cha's young face softened, his eyes with a light much more mature than his years. "But I not lose you. I know you. My brother, he in gang. We lose him to drug. He dealer, too. We not see him in four years. But we not lose you. We see you. We help you. I understand now, and you same Paulie, same one underneath. You need help. Maybe you need safe house."

"'Safe house'?" I asked, confused, looking at both of them for answers.

"A safe house. It's another term for a rehabilitation center," Paulie sighed to me. He gazed back at Cha Cha. "I'm sorry to say it, but those don't work."

Cha Cha shook his head violently, seeming like he wanted to shake away Paulie's words. "You think that now, but it work. You try."

"That's so much money. I don't have that kind of money," Paulie sighed. He slumped over, defeated.

"The point is to try, Paulie," I said to him lovingly, hugging him anew. "We'll help you...whatever you need." These last few words reminded me of Frankie, warming me to my core. It was the same sort of love, wanting to help, because we loved him so much.

"I'll try, but-"

At that moment, a loud crash came from the kitchen and an even louder profanity sounded off.

"What the fuck?" I whispered, my hand going over my mouth.

We jumped off the bed and rushed to the door, peering through the doorway like curious cherubs.

Frankie was standing in the kitchen behind the bar, looking sheepish and covered in tomato sauce. He was staring down at the floor, aghast at the same time.

Incredibly, Paulie laughed and I felt a shift in the room. Something lifting. Cha Cha smiled at me and began giggling. Paulie put his hands on his hips like a super hero.

"Boy, what are you doing with that spaghetti sauce? Do you really know how to cook?" His voice was really weak, but gaining strength. I gave him a little shove and he turned to me with wonder.

"Go help him," I smiled kindly to him.

"Okay," he said shyly.

"Don't worry about it," I smiled at him still. He nodded, smiling back weakly. I hoped he realized my double meaning.

Over the next hour, we watched Paulie fix Frankie's poor excuse for angel hair pasta and meatballs.

"Bread crumbs in meatballs?!" Frankie asked incredulously as Paulie shoved bread crumbs into the meat and rolled it in his hands.

"Yeah, boy. Just like momma used to make. Don't believe me? You taste it when it's cooked," he winked at him.

It made me feel glad, the way he was speaking. He was joking again. It sent relief into me. He seemed lighter, a little happier. I knew he definitely wasn't out of the woods yet, but he was out of the woods with us, and all it took was the truth. Now it was our job to be there for him, support him trying to change no matter how hard it became. We'd try out best, with love. I just hoped Paulie would, too.

Soon, Cha Cha and I set the table in the adjoined dining room and he started singing 'Jingle Bells' in Spanish. To my surprise, when Paulie came into the dining room holding a big tureen of meatballs in his trademark spicy sauce, he joined in with English. It further gladdened my heart, seeing them mixing together, the fight over.

I knew this was the first step. Things would get better. At least, I hoped. I really hoped. All I could do was give Paulie the benefit of the doubt, trying to deny any doubt in my heart in order to support my dearest friend.