Sunshine was streaming in from the gaps in the curtains of Ambrose's room. He was behind me, breathing slowly, in sleep. He smelled like sweet milk, sweat. His arm was over me, pressing me to him even in sleep.

What the hell had happened last night?

If I had been dreaming he wouldn't smell like sweat.

My breathing became quick again, and I wanted to roll over to look at him, but I didn't want to disturb him. Had it really not been a dream? I started to blush, remembering how loud we had been, not caring about anything. I recalled there was somebody else living here, someone who was usually awake at night.

Had she heard us? I began burning up, completely embarrassed.

The sound of Ambrose's long breaths permeated into my brain, calming me. I wondered what he was dreaming about. My thoughts wandered to last night, blushing again.

"Mmm, nnnurrr," Ambrose's voice groaned behind me, in his sleep. I started giggling. The rocking of my body rocked his, and he made more noises. Adorable noises.

"Nn, mmm, ggg..." he gurgled.

"Ambrose," I snickered.

"Nnnn?"

"Ambrose, what are you..." I giggled.

"R- Ruiiiz?" he purred. Comprehension. There he was.

Now I rolled over, finally. I wanted to see him. My body flipped over eagerly and he adjusted for me. I couldn't help but smile, seeing his sweet eyes so sleepy, looking at me with such love in them.

"Da- darling," he yawned, covering his mouth with his hand momentarily and then sliding it down to my waist again, to my back. "Good morning," he smiled adoringly.

"Morning," I whispered to him, so close to his face. He closed his eyes again, seeming to drift off to sleep again. A sneaky smile formed on my face and I dove into a kiss, kissing him hard and long.

"Mmmm," he moaned into the kiss, his hand searching up my back to my neck, then stroking it wanderingly with his fingers. "Mmmm, okay, I'm awake, baby."

I nuzzled into his neck and he moaned again, so happy. "I'm going to make you some breakfast," he said matter of factly.

"What will you make?" I asked into his neck.

"Bacon, eggs, french toast. Or Cap'n Crunch. Since we don't have those things. Darn it."

I giggled. "Cap'n Crunch is fine." I parted from him, wanting to kiss him again. But it was at this moment another realization crossed his face. He gasped and looked beyond me, towards the wall. He went red.

"You just realized Miss Cha Cha was home all night, didn't you," I laughed.

"Ye- Yeah," he stuttered, his hand going over his mouth.

"I realized that, too."

He snorted into his hand and then burst into laughter. I laughed with him. "We're all adults," he chuckled.

"We are," I agreed, grinning at him in my giggles.

"Breakfast," he nodded, sitting up. I watched him like he was a god. How beautiful he was. He was completely naked, his abs tight, his muscles long and lean. His skin was flushed, dewy looking. Seeing him now, I realized just how gorgeous he must have been last night in the darkness and I started blushing anew. He was all mine now. He was. My mind became blank again in too many thoughts trying to go at once.

Just last month, we had been only friends. But he'd secretly loved me, for so many years. It took me this long to love him like he loved me. My brain was still trying to get over the hill to figure out these thoughts.

He got up from the bed and started putting on some pants. Next, he picked up a white button down shirt that was slightly sheer which had been hanging over his vanity's chair. I stared at him as he dressed, drinking him in.

He turned, and looked at me with warm eyes. I smiled at him, unable to help myself.

"Um, if you want to, look in my closet and find some girl clothes? You don't have to wear what you were wearing yesterday. That boy stuff. I kind of don't want you to ever wear that again. If you want."

My heart melted. He was thinking about me. Wanting me to be myself. Was it real?

"Actually, there's this pretty red dress I got last month? You'd look good in it. Your skin...it would...um... It's to the extreme left in the closet, in a gray dress bag. Wait, I'll get it."

He seemed shy. Adorable. Making his way around the stuffed animals and pillows around the bed, his back arched beautifully, showing his muscles as he bent over into the closet, flicking back hanger after hanger of beautiful clothing, most of which he had made with his own hands. The idea of him being such a genius, making most of those dresses even though I knew he did already, left me speechless in amazement. Everything seemed so new now, looking through these new lenses of adoring him freely.

Something in me was trying to say he was the same as he'd always been, the same Ambrose. But no, that wasn't true. Not anymore. He was so much more.

"Here it is," he said sweetly, plucking it off the rack, his body halfway in the closet. Stumbling out of it, he found the bed and beamed at me. I reached out for the bag and he gave it to me carefully.

"Where did you get this dress?" I asked, zipping down the front of the bag.

"It was in a boutique. I wanted to give it to you for your birthday, but it was kind of too low-key for drag and you never wore anything like this outside of drag so I couldn't really...um..." He was getting so shy now I wanted to abandon the dress and grab him in my arms but I wanted to see the dress, too.

When my eyes rested on the dress...words...

"Dios mio, Ambrose," I whispered.

The dress had a sweetheart ruched top in an empire style with delicate sleeves. The rest was free flowing in semi-sheer fabric. It was a baby doll dress, short but forgiving, sweet looking.

"I don't have any of my girl stuff, though," I sighed longingly, holding the dress up. It caught the light from the lamp next to the vanity beautifully, shining through.

"Girl, where are you?" Ambrose laughed. He snapped his fingers and pointed at his closet. "Drag heaven, stage left."

I started laughing and he hugged me around my waist, enjoying me, loving me.

"Okay, okay," I giggled, hugging the dress to myself.

"I'm going to go do morning stuff. Get dressed," he said, kissing my shoulder.

But as he left me, I realized something else that made me melt, the first of many such realizations.

Girl. He had known I was a woman the whole time. He'd called me girl thousands of times. Was that him...acknowledging me? Was it him saying he knew? I went dumb again, trying to comprehend. Dios mio, Ruiz. Or did he just like to say girl? I'd said that to him, too. Ugh, what?

There was no sense in thinking about it right now, though. I wondered what he thought about it. Huh. I got up and went to his closet, looking at it. Then I realized I was naked and I blushed.

When I exited the room and entered the kitchen, Ambrose was there pouring Cap'n Crunch into two matching green bowls. My heart jumped at the person sitting on the counter with crossed legs dressed in a long dark red robe and bunny shaped peep toe heels in place of bunny slippers.

"Matching bowls, too. Oh you love birds," Miss Cha Cha laughed, reaching over and mussing up Ambrose's hair.

I felt my entire body blush. So she had heard us.

Her head turned to me and my blush spread.

"Buenos días!" she chirped, grinning at me. "How are you doing, sleepyhead?"

"I-I'm okay," I said quickly.

"Aww," she said, smiling knowingly. "Don't be shy."

"A-about...last night," I began, looking down slightly. Ambrose's head whipped to me, his eyes flashing like 'no no no no no'. But it was too late.

"Yes, baby?" Miss Cha Cha beamed at me.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking down at the floor completely, blushing up a storm.

Ambrose's head hit the cabinet in front of him in his embarrassment. Miss Cha Cha started laughing loudly. She patted Ambrose on the back and Ambrose hit his head on the cabinet twice again, just like Miss Paula used to do.

"We're all adults," she smiled, swinging her crossed feet back and forth in glee. Her mouth opened innocently. "That's a pretty dress. Where did you get it?"

"I got it for her birthday," Ambrose supplied for me. "Late present."

"'Her'?" Miss Cha Cha asked, looking like she was in gossip heaven.

Oh. Miss Cha Cha didn't know.

Ambrose looked at me with question, and I just smiled at him. He turned to Miss Cha Cha and said simply, "Ruiz is transgender, Miss Cha Cha."

"Oh. Oh okay, that makes sense."

What?

"What?" I asked, repeating my thought.

"You liked to wear cute nighties and you like my Hello Kitty blanket. Something didn't quite add up but now it does," she said, staring at me with purpose. Then she jumped off the counter and opened the refrigerator like she hadn't just dropped a bombshell.

"Wait...what does that mean?" I asked.

She straightened back up, holding a nearly full gallon of milk. With a little kick, her foot closed the refrigerator door, the various bottles rattling in chimes. "It means I already kind of suspected," she said matter of factly, no joking around.

Halfway through breakfast something occurred to me that caused me to pause. Ambrose paused, too, hyper aware of me, staring at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned in love. I softened to him, but the thing I realized was forcing itself out of me.

"Wait, Miss Cha Cha. But you wear nighties and you own that Hello Kitty blanket," I blurted.

"Uh-huh," she said, sipping her coffee and flicking her newspaper to get a better hold on it.

"Then what do you mean 'already suspected' because I do stuff like that?" I asked, staring at her, my brows creased.

Ambrose got it before me. He gasped inwardly, choking on his milk. My brow creased more.

"Because I'm transgender, too, baby," she said casually, flipping the page over in her newspaper section.

I was struck dumb. It felt like people in this apartment had an electric rod that took away my wits. "What?!" I half-shrieked. Ambrose was staring at her like a child, just as shocked as me.

"Telling you about all of this would take too long," she sighed, flicking her hand at us like it was too boring to ever say and oh don't worry about it. All the while, she hadn't looked up from her newspaper once.

But no way we were about to let this go. "Talk to us about this, Miss Cha Cha. It would help Ruiz," Ambrose said quietly, looking at me. I nodded vigorously.

"Hmm. Well." She finally looked at us, tapping her coffee mug with her long red nails thoughtfully. The fact that we always called her 'Miss' as a formal title and 'she' also as a formal title seemed like it fit divinely, like the heavens had planned it for us.

"You see, ah," she looked up at the ceiling, smiling a little bit. "Well, back when I was thirteen I realized I wasn't like all the other little boys. I dressed up as Diana Ross for Halloween."

"Diana Ross?" Ambrose snickered.

"Hey! She's awesome, okay?! God," Miss Cha Cha joked, but serious. Ambrose and I snickered together. She sucked her teeth at us. "Diana Ross is my idol, show some respect. Kids."

"Okay, okay, then what?" Ambrose asked, fueling her.

But something clicked in my brain when she was speaking. Wait a second.

"Yeah. My Mama didn't like that. She told me I had a week to leave. It was heartbreaking, you know? She also said she didn't like me trying to be black, but I yelled at her that I'm half black. She didn't like that at all, at all. So she kicked me out of the house without any of my stuff. Not even a coat."

"Your Mama was a bitch," Ambrose said, completely engrossed in her story.

"Thank you! I know!" Miss Cha Cha exclaimed, throwing up her hands. She settled down, tapping her nails on her coffee mug again, the green clashing with the red of her nails like Christmas. "Anyway, I ran away to this club. I can't really remember the name, but it started with an M? It was a converted old movie theater. It was really, really pretty inside. Just gorgeous. I had heard of this club up in Schenectady-"

"You're from Schenectady?!" Ambrose interjected.

Miss Cha Cha started laughing in her familiar gesh gesh gesh like she did when she really thought something was funny. It caused me to laugh, just like always.

"I'm originally from Florida, but I don't think so, not anymore. I'm an adopted NYC native, reborn at that club. Darn it, what was it's name!"

Something was forming at my brain. Click. The sound of her sucking teeth. Why was that ringing a bell?

"Anyway, I met all these nice people. There was this really beautiful, gor-jee-uss drag queen. She was my drag mother. Blonde Bombshell with capital B's. Turns out she was transgender. She taught me all about it, took me under her wing. We shopped together. It was fabulous. But she left the club a few months after I got there. Never did find out why. I was sad because we'd gotten so close. She'd taught me so much." She sucked her teeth again, then shook her head as if to say damn.

This sound mixed with her story, and I nearly fell out of my chair, shifting it back as I fell back into it, my eyes wide as it made a violent scraping sound.

"Dios mio, Ruiz?!" Ambrose gasped, jumped and his arms darting for me.

"WAS THE CLUB CALLED THE MAJESTIC? THE MAJESTY CLUB?!" I shrieked.

"Yes!" Miss Cha Cha squealed, her face lighting up like the end of a lightening bug.

Oh shit. Oh shit!

"Did you know Miss Paula from- Oh my god, Miss Cha Cha!" I shrieked again.

"What?!" Ambrose asked, alarmed to the max.

"Yeah! I met Paulie at that club! It was like having lesbian mommies, my drag mommies, heehee," Miss Cha Cha giggled, thoroughly enjoying herself.

Ambrose's mouth dropped open. Then he exploded.

"MISS PAULA WAS YOUR DRAG MOTHER, TOO?!" he screamed, looking like he wanted to go in four directions at once.

"Yeah, you and I are drag...um...sisters? That's why I took you in, sweetie," she said, grabbing the table in her glee.

Ambrose froze, his mouth gaping.

"Why did you- why did you never tell us any of this?!" I gasped, in complete shock now, too much information dropping in such a short amount of time. First Ambrose's news, now this? What the hell was up with the universe?

She gave us a look that said come on now, really. A small sideways smirk.

I paused, realizing what she had said about the blonde bombshell. Wait...she...

"Did you...know Georgina Monroe?" I asked quietly, my core still and feeling muted, like it was beholding a special creature that it wanted to capture and study but not frighten it away.

"Oh yes, that was her name. She went by many names, I get it confused in my brain. Somewhere along the years I stopped being able to remember what she preferred. Yeah, I knew her. She was so beautiful. I can't begin to tell you. I admired her something fierce. She was incredible. Even out of drag she had this way about her. She was a woman wearing men's clothing, it was that tight. You knew she was a woman. Period. I wanted to be like her so badly."

"Wow, Miss Cha Cha," I breathed in.

"What?" she asked, smiling at me.

Ambrose started to rub between my shoulder blades as I looked down at my now soggy bowl of Cap'n Crunch. He answered for me, and I was grateful because I couldn't find the words myself.

"Georgina is Ruiz's idol, too. She's why Ruiz started doing drag."

It was Miss Cha Cha's turn to be at a loss for words.

"Yeah, and..." I began, about to tell Miss Cha Cha about how I knew her, but stopping myself. It was only halfway through spilling the beans that I remembered how secretive and scared Georgina could be about people. I had been about to tell Miss Cha Cha that I knew Georgina...but did Miss Cha Cha want to know her? I knew the events Miss Cha Cha was talking about had happened in 1967 according to Georgina. It had been so many years. But surely Miss Cha Cha wanted to know where Georgina was? But...did Georgina want her to know where she was? I sighed deeply and decided to ask Georgina first.

"And?" Miss Cha Cha asked, observant.

"And...And I think she's really beautiful," I finished, saving myself.

"Yeah, and Ruiz knows- ay!" Ambrose squeaked, finishing in pain from my pinch under the table.

Miss Cha Cha gave him a funny look.

"I know all of her looks," I smiled, completing his sentence with a lie that was not quite a lie.

"Her dresses," Miss Cha Cha sighed, her eyes swimming up to the ceiling and losing herself, clearly remembering how Georgina used to look. "There was this one. It was aqua blue, mermaid silhouette. Satin-y fabric, so beautiful. When she wore that I couldn't stop staring at it. Gosh, I wonder what became of it."

Aqua blue. Mermaid. Satin. An image formed in my brain of Georgina walking away from me, her silhouette extreme, the fabric seeming to almost glitter in the light like it was water itself. It had to be the same gown. There could be no other dress. I ached to tell Miss Cha Cha that I knew exactly the dress, but I couldn't. Not without Georgina's permission.

Like a divine heaven's call, Ambrose interjected and I was saved from my internal struggle of trying to hide that I knew Georgina personally.

"What about Miss Paula, though?" he asked, looking sad. I took his hand under the table and he smiled at me, a small smile. I knew he was thinking about Miss Paula, how close they were. So much closer than I was to her, even though we had grown to know each other fondly.

Miss Cha Cha gave an unexpected long, drawn out sigh. "She did her thing, I did mine," she said simply, staring into her coffee. Ambrose went silent at this, his melancholy look intensifying.

I paused. Ambrose was staring down at his lap now, looking uncomfortable. Miss Cha Cha was still staring down at her coffee.

"...So you knew," Ambrose said quietly, barely.

"Yeah. I'm sorry you knew, too, baby," Miss Cha Cha sighed.

I looked back and forth at them as they didn't speak anymore. The conversation went dead. I squeezed Ambrose's hand and he peered over at me, giving me the small smile again. It was weak, lacking happiness.

The feeling in the room had shifted dramatically, no longer full of joy and wonder. It felt awkward, with a stifling air.

What was going on here?

"Well, kiddies, about that time. I'm going out. I'm going to be in my room getting ready for about thirty minutes? Don't make too much noise now," Miss Cha Cha winked, completely turning around from what she had just been acting like. Her smile had returned, but not her bounciness.

She was faking. I was beginning to hate when people faked being happy.

When she left, her bedroom door semi-slamming, I turned to Ambrose. He wasn't looked at me, attempting to eat his soggy Cap'n Crunch, but failing miserably.

"What was that about?" I asked, addressing the elephant in the room.

"Nothing," he muttered, looking down at his cereal with wide eyes. He began to blush.

"You're blushing," I said, curiously.

"It's okay. Um, hey. You got work today? I'll ask Miss Cha Cha if I can borrow her car. I'll drive you."

"Yeah, I have work in like two hours, but Ambrose-"

"I'll go ask."

His chair shrieked against the tile and hurt my ears, shocking me momentarily. In my moment of being stunned, he'd gotten up and quickly disappeared into Miss Cha Cha's room.

The door remained closed for over an hour, and over that hour I became so worried about him and the situation that I was near tears, panicked. When it opened, Ambrose was himself again, hugging me. But I was still so upset.

Were they keeping something from me?