1st Place goes to JSPRomComs

2nd Place goes to ThoseThreeWords

3rd Place goes to nattieaustin

And for the participants.

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Judged by ericathedwarf

31 Days of Christmas
ThoseThreeWords

Title 4/5
Play on 12 days of christmas, i like it
Cover 4.5/5
Super cute cover
Blurb 4.5/5
Nice first line, solid blurb
Presentation /5
Banners are cute and tie in with the 12 days theme
Opening chapter 8/10
Long, but I get the feeling that all of the chapters are going to be long. I think we’re a diary and she’s writing to us?It was chunked out well
Plot 18/20
I like the premise, I like the structure, there’s a good amount of conflict and tension driving the story. Once her and Jasper start doing the competition together it will only increase the tension and push them towards growth (hopefully)
Grammar 8/10
Some issues, nothing too distracting.
Vocabulary 7/10
It’s fine. Nothing jumps out at me either way.
Dialogue 8/10
Dialogue is pretty good, could probably do with less ellipses. Also too much poppit but I think that was intentional

Character 8/10
Jasper is interesting. Bitter glow up boy. I’m guessing that thing he said to her at the end of chapter four is what she said to him all those years ago. He’s been hurt and abandoned by her and seems to have changed himself as a defense to fit in and survive. I like him and I see a lot of potential for growth.

Zara is kind of whiny sometimes. I get that she’s mad at her dad but she’s looking at it very black and white. She’s seventeen, not 11. I don’t have as much sympathy for her as I do for Jasper and I think Jasper is still supposed to be one of the antagonists at this point. Oops. Also you can get all snippy with your dad about how he should trust you because you don’t drink and then immediately down two unidentified drinks at a party just because a boy told you to. Dude she could have been drugged and murdered so so easily.

Story Development 7.5/10
Chapters are long but have good breaks in them. Pacing is fine. The introduction to jasper had a good ebb and flow to it

Total 82.5/100

All The Ways
nattieaustin

Title 4/5
I like it, but it’s not super specific to this story
Cover 4/5
Words could be a little easier to read
Blurb 4.5/5
Comma issue in the first sentence is a little distraction, otherwise it’s a very solid blurb
Presentation 3.5/5
Character collages are nice
Opening chapter 8/10
Yes yes yes. I love a short opening line.

I like this opening chapter. I got pulled into it and forgot that I was judging for a little bit there. We get a bit of an introduction to the narrator in the periphery as we watch the main drama of the man and the blue girl dress unfold.
Plot 17.5/20
For the most part I’m on board with the plot. I just this sinking feeling that whatever happened in sunset falls isn’t going to live up to the way that mia talks about it. After chapter five, I’m starting to think that the incident was that she got publicly rejected at an art show and lashed out. She was making it seem like she killed someone or made a mistake that had huge consequences or did something egregious for a good reason or something mildly egregious for a selfish reason.
Grammar 8.5/10
Some comma things
Vocabulary 8/10
Nice variety while still keeping a consistent voice for Mia
Dialogue 8/10
Good balance, good cadence
Character 8.5/10
Landon is kind of a little confusing, but that might just be part of who he is.
Story Development 8/10
Good pacing. Nice twist with desiree. Thought she was gonna be a long lost twin or something, but cousin makes sense.

Total 82/100

Chef’s Kiss
strawberry1d

Title 3.5/5
Fits with the premise, maybe a little generic
Cover 3.5/5
Words are kind of hard to read, I like the colors in the photo though
Blurb 3.5/5
It’s got just enough to give a good premise and a little bit of intrigue.
Presentation 4.5/5
I like the stars in the chapter titles, it adds to it
Opening chapter 6/10
A lot of telling instead of showing, and there was just a lot of background information that I don’t think we necessarily need to understand y/n and that guy and her and emilia’s relationship. When it’s so exposition and backstory heavy in the front, it makes it hard to push through to the exciting parts, where we find out that he’s there in her cake shop after eight years
Plot 15/20
I see the shape of the plot forming up, and I can kind of see where this might be going. The two of them keep running into each other, y/n keeps refusing him (hopefully fifteen times), maybe there’s another love interest for seokjin or maybe sung makes an appearance. Eventually seokjin realizes that puppy face would have made the better girlfriend and that he loves her (hopefully because of who she is not because she’s hot and successful now) and puppy face learns to open her heart again without it becoming an all-consuming obsession.

That’s all fine. What is giving me pause is the motivations and the backstories. Y/N is like the most accomplished baker in the world now but was both bullied often for her appearance (which was normal, not ugly) and also was a celebrity on campus and a star student. While becoming the most accomplished baker, she struggled severely with depression, which sounded like it was brought on by his rejection and not her father’s death, but then was magically cured of it one day, only to have it all come crashing back the moment she sees seokjin eight years later? Do you see what I’m getting at? The extremes make it a little harder to believe, and provide less of a foundation for the characters’ motives and behaviors.
Grammar 6/10
little issues that add up

Tense and perspective switching gets confusing sometimes
Vocabulary 7/10
It’s fine, nothing that really stands out either way
Dialogue 6.5/10
A little paragraph-y at times
Character 5.5/10
These characters are very extreme. y/n was very obsessed and persistent and is now very cold and hates romance. Seokjin is really focused on appearances for a long time and although it says that he’s “shy” he doesn’t seem to act like it very much. Sung is also just “evil” and “devious” without another dimension. She doesn’t seem to actually love Seokjin, just his appearance and status. If those are the only reasons she’s with him, then it makes more sense to find another guy with comparative status where there’s no competition. Not that there was really competition anyway since he rejected her 15 times.

There’s room for these characters to grow, I just kind of wish there was more nuance here. And I just don’t see how puppy face was so obsessed with seokjin immediately just based on his looks? Did they ever like hang out together or was it just her giving him cupcakes and cheering for him all the time?

Side note, puppy face is a great nickname. It just rolls of the tongue so well and works so well until you start to think too hard about it. Does her face look like a puppy? Does her expression mirror a puppy’s expression? Is her demeanor like a puppy and “face” is just part of the nicknaming convention? etc
Story Development 7/10
The flash backs are helpful and the pacing is pretty good. There’s some parts that feel a little like filler, but not many. A few lulls.

Total 68/100

Leather Meet Denim
SylRose18

Title 4/5
I like it, sits well with the genre and premise
Cover 4.5/5
I like the font and the softness of it
Blurb 3.5/5
I think the quoted dialogue at the beginning was a little long. I would suggest maybe cutting it down or finding a shorter excerpt. Paragraph part gave a short and sweet summary of the premise with a little question for intrigue
Presentation 3.5/5
Nice banner, fits well with cover. I appreciate the embedded videos for the soundtrack
Opening chapter 6/10
Opening paragraph was a little disjointed to me. The transition between talking about her mom dying to talking about meeting Adrian felt a little forced. Also, did she expect her mom dying to be a good thing? That line confused me.

I feel like I want to get to know whats her name a little more before she meets Adrian. I don’t know her well enough to know if her giving him her number was ordinary or out of character or if this is the type of guy she’d normally go for or if there was any hesitation because he’s in a biker gang and a biker gang killed her mom.

Also, I just kept getting distracted that they were selling books at the library. Are there public libraries that sell new books? I’ve only seen ones that have monthly used/decommissioned book sales as fundraisers or that give away free books for donations.
Plot 16/20
There’s some good setup for conflict in the future. Things feel a little bit like they’re happening to easily though. Adrian got Lily’s number easy. Lily had no issues going out to the club. Adrian had no issues getting Wolf to go. They got into the club fine. No one stopped them for underage drinking. Iris had the hots for Wolf so not many complaints from her. Lily just ignored everything Iris said and immediately falls for Adrian who doesn’t have to do anything for it to happen but be hot. I’m hoping that they will have to overcome some kind of obstacle once they learn more about who each other is and their histories.
Grammar 6/10
Already a few errors in the first chapter. Some commas, hyphens, that kind of thing.

Sort of tense things but it’s more an issue of the narration and where the narrator is talking from, oh and then regular tense things

Many comma issues
Vocabulary 7/10
Second chapter has dense paragraphs of description. It’s a lot about the furniture and the color of things. Although this could tell me a bit about what this place looks like, it doesn’t tell me a whole lot about the people who live there. Instead of describing things in her bedroom that everyone has (twin bed, pillows, etc.) describe what makes that bedroom hers. Are there clothes scattered around the floor? Does she have nail polish bottles lined up along her vanity? Is there a half-eaten sandwich tucked under the sheets? Etc etc
Dialogue 6.5/10
A little heavy on the dialogue so far
Character 7/10
I’m having a hard time getting an initial read on the narrator.
Story Development 5/10

Chapter two mentions a character Iris who, of course, took a job at the ranch. I don’t remember meeting an Iris though. I thought the only other characters for far were her coworkers.

Also Alice the Stallion is a male horse. If that’s intentional, I totally support that, but it doesn’t feel like it since Alice is referred to as “her”

Transition between chapter 2 and chapter 3 was confusing without any indicators that we were suddenly changing narrators and repeating a scene from an alternate view.

The repetitions of scenes when the narrator switches is getting clunky. The reader doesn’t need the repetition to keep up and the alternate view point doesn’t add much new information.

Ah! I didn’t even realize we’d switched to Iris’s view now. I still don’t know who Iris is!

Total 69/100

Love Ladders
MiniMoxx

Title 4/5
Nice alliteration, not sure how it fits yet but there’s potential here, hoping there’s some kind of deep metaphor somewhere in there
Cover 4/5
A little disappointed there isn’t a ladder. It’s pretty though and the text is readable.
Blurb 4/5
Really like that first sentence. Some repetition in the middle paragraphs. Gives a nice little background, but if that info (about the dad and prison) are in the exposition early on, I think you could get away with striking those bits and tightening it up. Give it a little more mystery to lure readers in
Presentation 4.5/5
Aesthetics are nice, so are banners and headers
Opening chapter 7/10
It was kind of a strange shift between her talking to us the reader to then regular first person present narration. I stand by what I said in the blurb section based on the content of this chapter.
Plot 16.5/20
With the jumping around between flashbacks, present day, and backstories, it can be hard to follow at times. The way that Skye immediately changed her mind after seeing scott also eliminated a large source of conflict that was being teed up. Now the trajectory of the story is less clear to me.
Grammar 8/10
Some errors, not too distracting.
Vocabulary 7/10
We’re reading from Skye’s voice and she has a pretty standard vocabulary.
Dialogue 6/10
I think the balance of dialogue to prose is off. Too much dialogue and too much paragraph dialogue. I think there’s a lot being said by characters that could be communicated through description to bring it back into balance.
Character 6/10
I do not like Skye at all. I don’t like the way she talks about Oliver. I don’t like that she goes on about Scott betraying her when she asked him to give up his life to help her and then when he hit a rough patch, she immediately and completely turned her back on him and abandoned him after knowing him her whole life. And then she didn’t tell him she was pregnant and holds him responsible for abandoning her while she was pregnant. He didn’t know! Also he didn’t choose to go to jail! Also he writes all the time! Why do you refuse to even entertainment the idea that he could be telling the truth? Did the 18 years you were friends earn no trust in him at all? 

I just don’t understand how she doesn’t understand that that guy isn’t paralyzed because of Scott, he’s alive because of Scott. Fjiesgnoinvo. I’m just angry for Scott because he was always thinking of her and what was best for her when he made those decisions and she just continues to focus on herself.

Dallas is alright. He turned on a dime as soon as the jealousy monster reared its head though.
Story Development 7.5/10
Some clunky transitions between scenes

The arguments between skye and dallas about scott kind of go in circles a bit, rehashing the same points.

Total 74.5/100

Luna’s Concubines
CrysTravel2019

Title 4/5
Her name isn’t luna which makes the title a little confusing. Maybe The Luna’s Concubines? Unless it’s like an artsy take on it I guess. It would be like titling it Queen’s Concubines. Okay lol making that comparison has made me like the title more.
Cover 3.5/5
Matches the tone. Grayscale is nice. Words easy to read. Doesn’t stand out much from other similar werewolf/pack/romance books
Blurb 3/5
Paragraph is a little dense, last sentence has some grammar stuff
Presentation 3/5
Some character photos at the beginning but not much in the chapters
Opening chapter 4/10
The law chapter feels both like a prologue and a page from a history book. I get the impulse to want to explain the rules in this world, especially because their a variation on some of the standard genre rules for wolf pack stuff, but I think this information could be communicated through world building exposition happening during the first few chapters as we’re getting to know the characters and their conflict.
Plot 16/20
Little bit of a slow start and I don’t feel a super strong connection to the characters.
Grammar 6.5/10
Missing words, sentence structure, commas
Vocabulary 7/10
The one word isolated sentences are great for emphasis, but loose their power when used too frequently
Dialogue 7/10

Character 7/10
The switch in her father’s demeanor was very abrupt
Story Development 6.5/10
There’s some tension introduced in the first samatha chapter. Her life is ending because she’s turning 18 and now has responsibilities and will have to choose mates. I’m just distracted worrying that she’s going to mate with her brothers and am not super invested in anything else that happens to her at this point

The chapters’ ends don’t have a finality to them, they kind of just end at what feels like mid thought.

Okay good, there are other werewolf packs. Phew.

Total 60.5/100

Nerd Next Door
countryfresh

Title 3.5/5
Play on girl next door, it works
Cover 3.5/5
It took me a second to figure out the image, might be due to text placement. Colors are nice
Blurb 3.5/5
Normally I like there to be a lot of mystery and intrigue in the blurbs, but I think there were just a efw too many questions at the end
Presentation 4.5/5
Banners, gifs, chapter flowers
Opening chapter 6/10
A little bit bland. Lots of just straight exposition, especially with the flashback, and no action. Start us in the middle of something happening and explain along the way. Or I don’t know, just have something happen that it outside of her head.
Plot 8/20
This feels more like a lesson in religion than something with a plot. I have nothing against works with religious themes or even overt religious framing, but they still need to tell a story and have an interesting plot with realistic characters for it to reach anyone and have any meaningful impact. We’re five chapters in and there’s no conflict, no movement, no seeds for some kind of growth or change or action in the future.
Grammar 7/10
Some grammar things, not too distracting

Except for the bold words, those were very distracting and felt unnecessary.
Vocabulary 7/10

Dialogue 5/10
The dialogue is very formal and doesn’t sound like natural speech
Character 2/10
How old is she? She has to be under 18 to have custody court stuff come into the equation but also she’s going to college? Taliha is just not believable to me. She’s super smart and perfectly pious and has a mysterious disorder where the symptoms just sound like introversion. What does she struggle with? She talks about being a loner in school but also doesn’t seem to mind it that much? Oh and of course she can eat whatever she wants without gaining weight. And. and. And. Shes. a . famous. Blogger. With. thousands. Of. followers. She’s just not relatable. And her published works have millions of followers? And she won awards for school and sports.

SHE’S NOT REAL. And, she’s got kind of a self-centered streak for such a “pious” person.
Story Development 5/10
Not a lot of movement. Mostly just her regular daily life with scriptures quoted throughout.

Total 55/100

Stolen Heart
JSPRomComs

Title 3/5
It’s fine, fits the genre
Cover 3.5/5
Cute, like the colors, graphics, and text
Blurb 5/5
Accomplishes what it sets out to do. Names exactly what it is and is written for people who are looking for a flirty romantic adventure and feel good read
Presentation 3/5
Nothing adding to it, nothing taking away
Opening chapter 9.5/10
Yep yep yep. Lana is funny and relatable, we went through part of her day and her running errands and it wasn’t boring, met mr. handsome,it was cute, also what was with that box? Better keep reading to find out! Nicely done
Plot 17/20
What the heck is happening?!

So many twists and turns in just five chapters. The foundations are being set for what seems to be an interesting and layered plot.
Grammar 9.5/10
Great sentence length and structure variety. No errors i’ve noticed yet
Vocabulary 9/10
Just enough descriptions without being overwhelming or cumbersome. Vocab stays within lana’ voice
Dialogue 8.5/10
Very nice with the banter

Good mix of thoughts with dialogue too
Character 10/10
Love Lana, relatable and funny

Even when she’s having intrusive thoughts about flirting with a goodwill-robber she’s still relatable, what an icon
Story Development 10/10
Like the pacing so far,good transitions between scenes

Wooooohoah --a robbery!? Right after the intriguing box?!?!
Seriously though I love how the pacing follows the flow of Lana’s mind as it jumps around and gives up and sparks, especially with the key/box thing

Love the little cliffhangers at the end of the chapters

Total 88/100

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A/N: Thanks for the help, ericathedwarf! Happy Holidays everyone!

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