149: Aubrey

The Volcano was the third highest peak in Mexico and was traversed in a two day hike using tents and skis near the summit. We were only doing the feet and knees of The Woman today, a three hour hike, gently making our way up about a thousand foot incline. We would have spectacular views of the valley, and the active volcano nearby. The trail was called La Arista del Sol--- the Ridge of the Sun.

We started the difficult hike. I say difficult, because it was about to zigzag up through scree and rocks and formations and views at a grade of two to eight percent, and a climb of over a thousand feet. It was in kilometers, and I didn't remember the conversion at the moment, as we put one foot in front of the other. Forced one foot up is more like it. I called this strenuous. Ben was struggling too.

I was tired. After yesterday's steep 242 steps up the pyramid I knew I'd be sore, not to mention the grueling ordeal that was the attack. That was enough to leave anybody aching. But Ben was being his cute, interested self, trying real hard to involve us in his discoveries. Rafe was largely silent, and the boys, Jeremy and Levi were absolutely quiet, concentrating. We all felt the pace after working our butts off yesterday.

Our guide stopped and pointed things out frequently, which was a nice break, but we couldn't take too long at these stops, needing to get there and get back. You could see Popocateptl the active volcano to the east of us, it had no more snow, and emitted a plume of black smoke, kind of forcefully now and then. Our guide said that El Popo had been active the last few days. They hadn't yet evacuated the local towns, but there had been an average to small eruption just a few weeks ago in April.

That made me feel real good.

If you've never hiked a dormant volcano, you should. They are usually very pretty. The trails are almost always covered in loose scree, and scrambling is essential. There were clouds and mist in the second saddle and we got some fantastic pictures. The guide said we might not be able to make it up to the platform as he put it.

Bummer.

We kept going though, not really talking. I think some of us were all talked out, and Ben was never typically vocal on these adventures. It took a lot of concentration anyway. I was not this experienced of a hiker, and I had hiked several pretty good peaks in Glacier Park. This was far less hospitable.

We were passed just as I was feeling the most sorry for myself, by a twelve year old Mexican boy and his grandfather. Out of breath at this high elevation, I bent over and waved the group forward, but as it turned out, they didn't care if they were passed, they were out of breath too, and these were singers, who generally had pretty good breath support. It was the altitude.

Suddenly our guide exclaimed in Spanish and pointed out a teporingo, a kind of rabbit found here. He was a cute big thing, with floppy ears and a quick long leg. As I looked up the side of the ridge, I saw some white tailed deer.

We did make it to the spot our guide had told us was the end of our hike. This after three and a half hours of plodding, as I kindly told myself, and hiking as Rafe, who wasn't out of breath at all insisted. The guys leaned against black lava rocks and formations. Beautiful and stark, they were a high light of the trip, very rangy, ugly in a dark and mysteriously dangerous way. I wished we had time to do the summit and breach the crater. But there was an ice field we were informed would have taken us all day. Sad to have to decline.

The clouds made a really beautiful blanket over the lower reaches. You could see the whole valley, and the sun was not warm on us. Although Rafe had taken his jacket off--- show off. I put my arms around him from behind and lay my cheek against that famous mermaid and her shells and ships and sea creatures, waves and plants. Under his t-shirt of course. I listened.

I heard breathing--- long, slow even, like waves colliding with the shore. I closed my eyes and simply reveled in the sound. Rafe had a breathy voice--- and his training had given him a kind of breathy catch at the end of most phrases, trademark. I could hear the way he cultivated it---- breathe, catch, breathe.

Heartbeat. Strong--- steady. Thank you God, for his heart beating here on this dormant volcano. Thank you.

We took some obligatory pictures, talked with the nice guide and then started back down. It had been an extraordinary excursion. Rafe went in front of me on the trail, Jeremy behind me.

"So, Aubrey. Were you eight when you got baptized?" Jeremy asked.

"Yeah." I answered. "So was Rafe."

"Is it weird to get baptized as an adult?"

"No. Lots of adults find the gospel later in their lives."

"I think I want to be baptized."

I stopped walking and turned to him in surprise. But Rafe came back up the slippery ridge, and didn't stop at my side to congratulate him. He simply grabbed him in a big hug.

"You're not making a mistake, bro. It's the right thing to do. I want to do it."

"Baptize me?"

"Yeah. If you'll have me."

"Can you?"

"I can. I'm capable. The question is May I?" His eyes were enigmatic and very purposeful. Jeremy was taken aback.

"I do want you to." He said, eyes wide, wind blowing his curls against his cheek under his hard hat. I snapped another picture.

They hugged. Jeremy looked back. "Levi, Rafe is going to baptize me, what do you say?"

Levi came up, his eyes reflecting the blue, blue sky with the glacial waterfall behind us. We could hear the wind whistling in the rocks and lava suddenly as if on cue. "Then I'll ask Ben to baptize me. Is that okay?"

Ben looked stunned. His beautiful tawny hazel eyes got round, and his red cheeks got even redder. "Why? Why do you want to be baptized? Because this trip is just unprecedented, guys, and everything is heightened because of what is happening with---- everything. Most tours aren't this intense. In fact no tours are this stimulating. A better word would be violent, but it doesn't completely cover it."

Jeremy stared out over the lush dark green and yellow valley. His jacket had the most neon orange against black on it, and was incongruous with the very natural backdrop of slate gray and black rock. It was a rather primitive setting with El Popo spouting before us. "Well, it first started ----." He squinted as if trying to bring back those moments. Rafe folded his arms over his chest, gripping the back pack straps. "That first waterfall--- we stopped on the trail and sang John Denver's The Eagle and The Hawk. It brought back a lot of memories of my family. I listened to Aubrey's comments about her family. You don't hear people talk about family closeness the way Aubrey does. Her family is everything to her. I watched Rafe eating that kind of talk up. It's so easy to admit that your family is the most important thing in your life, when your girl revere's her folks and siblings so perfectly. That got my attention. I always feel like I have to diss on my upbringing. But what I want to do is thank my parents for being so hard on me, disciplining us as kids and stuff. It means they care."

Ben leaned against a lava formation and opened his water. Rafe spread his legs, rocking back on his heels, crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes intent.

"Then you guys have this thing about discussing controversial subjects. You use it to distract you from other controversial subjects. It's hilarious, and you're building this broad foundation while you do it. The whole solving issues with basketball, are you kidding? Best thing ever. I am so impressed with watching you two falling in love, really working the whole falling thing. And the fact that you are a virgin, Aubrey, meaning no disrespect---." He held up his hand in innocence. "I totally think you're awesome. And I get where Rafe is coming from, protecting that trait. He's really changed his whole demeanor since meeting you and trying to respect you. All for the better. I started asking myself, what is it that is so strong that it can hold a guy like Rafe back?"

Levi stamped his foot. "I started contrasting the feelings I felt as we rode on the other bus with the roadies and the other bands. They were the party bus, but it only felt good if you were partying. And then you got on your bus and the difference was night and day. Intellectual conversations, and truly creative jamming. This--- the sightseeing, the learning--- it makes this huge difference. The contrast in feelings is more dramatic than you realize."

Rafe was nodding, picking his teeth with his fingernail. Ben took another swallow, and closed the lid.

"I felt the spirit at church. Then again when Kell and Tecca Allen talked around the campfire. Gees, that was strong. Their confidence, their authority, their absolute surety. They talked about agency and accountability and consequences and stuff--- it was heady shit." Jeremy laughed and winked at me. I rolled my hand for him to continue. "Then the Temple tours. How can you not feel the spirit there? It just lands on the spires and floods the whole grounds with light. You can't help but feel it so strong. So when the missionaries gave us the Book of Mormon, I was willing to find out what about it drove people to these feelings, this surety and purpose."

Levi stomped his foot again as if he had a rock inside it. He looked down. "Reading the Book of Mormon and visiting these sights, even with what happened yesterday, well, I'd already made up my mind yesterday that I wanted to be baptized. And then the blessings last night before we went on stage." He shuddered visibly. "It made all the difference. There's real power there, telling us that it's true. God does exist, we are his children, and he cares about us."

Jeremy was smiling rather shyly, but a quiet confidence sparkled in his eyes. "I figure that Rafe has led a pretty worldly life. I admire that. He's been out there, doing it all. Elite Forum models, the works. And for him to decide to trade that life in for something better is dope."

Ben pushed himself off the rock and capped his bottled water for the fifth time. "I can tell you one thing guys. And this is it. If we had not had the spirit with us yesterday, if we had been unprepared, if we had been living like idiots and party animals, if we had not been working on repentance and worthiness....I guarantee you, we would not be here today. We might be alive, but we wouldn't have the strength to be up here. We wouldn't have the courage to do this today."

"Well, because of watching the videos on LDS.org, I know who I am, and who God plans for me to be. It's really pretty simple. It's not a matter of giving up things, just changing things up a little. For the better." Levi stated easily, and then nodded and started down the trail, overcome with emotion.

I pushed off, gave Rafe and Ben a glance and then ran to catch up to Levi. I snatched at his back pack as he flew down the ridge between two scree gulleys. He started to turn and I grabbed him, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry I'm so emotional." I cried, hugging him hard.

He was grinning as he held me. "It's your influence, your example, sister."

I rubbed his back, wiping my tears on his jacket. He was a lot bigger than me, his jacket made him even bigger. My whole self fit within the scope of his embrace. I knew he could see Rafe over my head, and I knew Rafe would have something to say about another guy hugging his girl, even if his girl initiated the hug. I let him go, and wiped my eyes on my hand.

Rafe did step up then, taking my snotty hand and wiping it on his shirt. "Love you, bro." he said as we passed Levi and walked five abreast across the ridge. For the first time we felt like one unit, one in unity.

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