In the doorway behind Rafe, whose hand was covering his eyes in exasperation or frustration or both, was Rafe's younger brother, Lance.

Okay, so I did a double take. This guy was handsome, obviously younger, and so good looking it almost took my breath away. He looked at me, those beautiful blue eyes stricken with pain and sorrow.

In abject misery, I held out my hand to him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause a problem."

"You didn't." Lance said and Rafe spun to see him standing there waiting for our reactions.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No." Both men stated emphatically, Rafe taking hold of my hand.

"Please go change and we can play volleyball for awhile and then it won't be weird to sit in the hot tub--- we have two hot tubs out there, and one is designated adults only. It won't be weird to sit in it and visit, I'd really like to visit with you, okay?" Lance was very polite and very easy with his words, but I felt a strange feeling of defensiveness creeping over me. I really didn't take well to being attacked the way his sister had attacked me.

I nodded and Rafe squeezed my hand as Lance turned and walked away. "You want me to stay in here while you change, make sure nobody comes in?" At first I thought he meant stay in the room, and then I realized there was a bathroom I could change in, so I nodded.

It wasn't long before all tension was absolutely gone as we joined in on the volleyball game whole heartedly. I love water sports, and love volleyball, so this was right up my alley. Rafe was hilarious, his good humor restored, and his cousins and niece and nephew adored him. Jenny was cute and sweet and Lance was a monster--- absolutely genuinely entertaining... especially with Rafe. He dealt with Rafe's competitive flamboyance with perfection.

And true to their word, after about an hour, the adults retired to the hot tub without any questions asked, just me and Rafe, Jenny and Lance.

Rafe's mom brought beer and everyone in the hot tub took one except me. This was noted with disapproval from Janice and downright curiosity from Lance, who seemed eager, sitting right next to me on one side to start that conversation.

"How about a soda?" Janice asked with a frown, and I smiled apologetically, not wanting to put her out.

"She drinks Cali, but she'll have water." Rafe said peremptorily. He had the beer in one hand and was putting the other arm around my shoulders when I leaned over and whispered.

"If you open that can I'm leaving."

His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward to look at me. "You are?"

"Better to leave than to try and drive you home drunk."

"I'm not going to get drunk. You should loosen up, Aub, it helps,"

I shrugged and started to get out, and he instantly put the can on the side of the tub unopened, and yelled for his mom to bring two waters.

"And don't call me Aub." I said.

"God, you're bossy."

"I'm not God. I told you about that as well." Now I was annoyed, and still smiling, but knowing there was this serious talk about to happen, I had no intention of being lambasted by them both.

Janice brought the two waters and then I noticed that Fred was pulling up a chair. She gave him a very dirty look as he did, but he wasn't to be deterred. She turned and went back into the house. The kids had dried off and gone in to watch a movie.

"So what's going on?" Jenny asked good-naturedly. "I feel like I'm missing something."

"You are." Lance announced without preamble. "Chris bombarded Aubrey with our anti-Mormon sentiments and stormed out."

"I didn't catch that. You say that's why Chris and Doug left? You're Mormon?" She leaned across the pool and shook my hand. "Fine! I'm Jewish."

I shook her hand and then leaned back, noting that now Rafe's arm was around me, laying on the back of the deck. I took a deep breath.

Lance was shaking his head. "Look. Just because we have a thing about Mormons doesn't mean we have a thing about you."

"You can have a thing about Mormons too, Lance. I am not offended." I said this, but there was this silly little shake in my voice as I geared up to possibly have to explain myself and my beliefs. I sent up a silent prayer for clarity and strength and the Holy Ghost to be with me. I'm not real good at expressing my feelings this way.

He smiled, leaning back, ready to start. Rafe squeezed my shoulders and I easily moved away from him. His hand under the bubbling water then landed on my bare leg. He leaned over to my ear. "I ditched the cussing and the beer for this, the least you can do is let me touch you."

That seemed reasonable, I looked up at Lance. "So, what's on your mind? You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"As you heard, I'm openly gay." I nodded and he smiled. "Apparently that doesn't bother you."

"I'm American. I defend your right to be anything you want."

He grinned, chalking one up to me with his finger. "You want to hear my story?"

I nodded. Rafe placed his arm back around me.

"So, when I was six, I wanted to have a girlfriend, but when I tried to kiss her, I ended up kissing the other boy who was chasing her. The kids made fun of me. But I started to get the feeling that I was different."

"We all knew you were gay since you were two." Rafe snickered, twisting the top on his water and taking a swig.

Lance laughed. "Well, that's what you all say. But Aubrey doesn't believe that a person can be born homosexual, do you, Aubrey."

"She really doesn't like it when you tell her what she thinks," Rafe announced and tried to squeeze me again for reassurance, but I leaned away.

"I do believe that people are born with genetic and inherited tendencies, Rafe. I have seen the documentation myself. There are all kinds of genetic markers, differences, abnormalities, hormonal imbalances, and everyone these days has something that could be considered different or even a mutation. So many differing things could be going on in the brain and body. Anybody would be a fool not to acknowledge that the tendency toward same-sex attraction is there at a very early age."

Lance was nodding thoughtfully now. "Would you say this is the opinion of your church?"

I sighed. "Look, I want to be the spokesperson for the church, I think it would be really fun to have to apologize and defend every stance we take, great, that's me, but frankly, I'm not very good at it, and I already have a job!"

Lance and Rafe snorted and Jenny grinned in acknowledgment.

"So, are you telling me that your opinions differ from those of your leaders significantly?"

"No, not really, Lance, but I'm a doctor. I've studied these things, not extensively, but I've seen babies born who have both a penis and vagina on the outsides of their bodies, I've seen all kinds of malfunctions, too many to count, and too many to judge that one cannot be born that way."

"Then you're saying that God... made me this way?" He was smiling now, believing he was about to trap me.

"No, I'm saying that God determined that the parents he sent you to were the best parents for you, and the circumstances you find yourself in inside your body are unique and individual to you. You may not believe this, but I've had to be the one to tell parents that their Downs baby also has half a heart, or that the meth addicted preemie they gave birth to will need a new heart by the time they reach ten. To me--- being born with a disease, a mutation, a biological hereditary abnormality, whether seen or unseen at the time of birth, does not make you less of a child of God, it makes you a child of your parents, and a resident of earth, where there are all kinds of infirmities by nature. We are here to suffer and learn and have trials."

He sniffed, his eyes closed and he nodded patiently and in resignation.

"So, it's my parents' fault?"

"Why does there have to be a fault?"

"Touché. I agree."

"Recently---." Rafe began and I could tell by his deadly serious tone that this was a very important subject to him. "Your church came out and said that homosexual married couples would not be welcome in your church, that children of these couples could not be baptized into the church until they are eighteen and they have to disavow their parents in order to be baptized ever. That, my dear, is cruel, and divisive, and anti-family from a church so steeped in religious fanaticism about families."

Lance was nodding.

I'd read all about the changes to Handbook 1. I'd read numerous complaints from people whose lives were immediately affected by this change. And families of people who were now dealing with this. And---- I'd prayed about it myself and read all the actual information and listened to each talk or statement about it by my leaders.

"So--- you want my take on this?"

"I don't think you in good conscious can have any other take on it than the one I am telling you. The church leaders are old men who are out of touch with the world they live in. They have far too much control over their flocks so to speak and they have outlived their usefulness." This was Rafe now--- Lance was simply nodding.

I glanced behind me as Fred drew in his breath sharply, and then blew it out again knowing that his son's opinions were not likely to change and their relationships could be even more damaged if he were to say anything.

"Well--- I do have a different take on it, Rafe." I said easily, turning to look him in the eye. "I don't know if you actually read the Handbook changes or not. Did you read them for yourself?"

"I know what they said, and I know how f-ing manipulative they all are--- trying to change wording to suit their needs and deceive people."

My eyes had snapped to his. "Rafe." I said in stilted and pointed calm. "I am happy to address any topic you want--- that you are educated in or uneducated in as long as you'd like---any time that you'd like as long as you can act like a rational adult and not a sniveling baby. But if you use profanity in my presence again, we are done."

He withdrew completely, his eyes flashing in annoyance. "I'll talk however I f-ing damn well please."

I stuck my tongue in the corner of my lips and then sighed. Before he could even move I hoisted myself to the ledge of the tub and got out. He reached to grab my leg—missed--- and I walked toward the house.

"Get her, Lance. Make her come back here and face this music. I want to know her answer to this shit."

Lance tried, but I side stepped him and kept walking. "You made your choice," I said calmly, but my insides were quivering.

"You stupid bitch." Rafe yelled. "I can't deal with this anymore. You are exactly what they say, intolerant, pig-headed, prejudiced----"

"You foul mouthed liar!" I turned on him as he got out of the tub and slipped all the way over to me right before I went in the back doors.

He grabbed for me and I jerked away.

"How can you call me a liar? You're the liar! You don't even know what you believe!"

"And that makes me a liar?" I screamed not caring who heard me now. "I'm a liar because you don't care to hear what I believe?!" I hated the tears that came to my eyes as Fred and Lance got out of the tub and started our way, and Janice came from the kitchen wiping her hands. He grabbed my arm again and I hit him full in the face with a move he should have known was coming. He reacted instantly and immobilized me against the ground, fast, efficiently and with minimal effort. I had forgotten that he's a belt up from me.

I slapped the ground with my palm and he stepped back, grabbed my wrist and hauled me to my feet. I had tears, he had a bloody nose.

"Rafe!" I huffed, snorted, trying not to cry openly. "Why, why are you doing this?"

"You don't know what I believe either, Aubrey." He was wiping his nose that was dripping down into his mouth. I was wearing one of Chris's tank tops over the suit so I took off the shirt and handed it to him to stop the blood, and then turned to go into the house.

"You know? You promised me--- you promised me at least you would stop swearing. You promised me not once but three times. Three time's the charm, they say, isn't it? I gave you three chances and you--- threw them in my face. I told you I can't stand cussing."

"I'm sorry." He said with the shirt covering his mouth and nose.

"I know you are, 'cause you keep doing it and keep apologizing. We can't even talk with that kind of stuff between us. There's no common ground."

"There's only common ground, Aubrey, come here. Please. Come back, please don't leave. Please."

I hated it when he groveled, I don't want him to grovel, and I am sick of these fights. Three strikes you're out. We now fight more than we talk.

I stood there, shivering in the hot sun and the air conditioning behind me. He pinched his nose with the shirt once more, and then reached out and wiped my arm where he'd crushed it and I was bleeding from a scrape. I hadn't even seen it or felt it.

"Baby, please. Come back to the pool."

"I need a shirt."

"Mom'll get you one." His eyes pleaded with his mother who was looking about as shocked as they come. I was mortified that I'd been screaming at her son in her backyard like this. It was horrible, disrespectful, and the loss of control for me was more than I could bear. My eyes filled with tears again and this time when he stepped up and offered his embrace and his shielding arms I took them.

"Dang it, Aubrey, I don't even know how to talk without cussing. Is this another church thing or is it an Aubrey thing?" He was kissing my wet and drying hair, holding me so close, covering my shame with his tattooed arms.

"It's an Aubrey thing." I muttered against him, still shaking with humiliation.

He nodded and chuckled and kissed me a few more times and then I felt the warmth of another t-shirt and let him slip it over my head. He stepped back and looked into my eyes.

"I guess you now know I'm the intolerant, pig-headed---"

I looked over him to see Fred and Lance standing there. "You are." I said softly, rubbing the shirt on my bleeding arm. "I'm sorry."

He got in the hot tub and winced, then reached for me. "Keep your arm out."

I did, and he helped me sit back down.

"Now that that's all taken care of dot dot dot." Lance said and grinned comically. "Can we get back to the initial questions?"

*******

Author's Shout out: To @AlwaysFair21for being such an amazing support. You are the first non-family reader to get this far and you are my 1K reader!!!! You make my day! You make my millennium!!!