Aubrey

Recording at Rosewood is a wondrous experience, I have to say. I've been in here a few times in my life, and I've recorded silly things and serious things--- for school we had to record things-- would have been kind of silly not to have assignments that included the studio, as it was right here. And then, occasionally I recorded on Melia's songs. I play a more technical keyboard than anyone else in the family, and once my ability was known, I had to share it. A family rule.

But I'd never thought to share it with a major pop/ hip hop/ rock star and collaborate with my mother and Kareem and Parker. It just felt weird.

We arrived in our rooms, and found they were comfortable--- it was freezing and storming outside by then, snowing even--- not that spring storms were that strange where we live--- but the fire in the fireplace was very welcome. Neither of us had dressed for it. I wondered how this room could be a good sound stage for us, since it was like a living room, not like the more austere recording rooms I'd been in. I sat on a stool in front of the fire and pretended I wasn't really there.

Honestly. I was quite nervous.

My mom was already there, as was Kareem. Rafe and Kareem went right to work, very professional. Mom was sitting at her piano, she wore black leggings and a red short sleeved sweater dress, she was barefoot, which I knew she sometimes preferred, and one leg was pulled up on the piano bench while she leaned over the keys flushing out some melody she'd been working on. Parker was behind the glass and a few guys were there who I didn't know, setting up microphones.

I'd never been in this room. The hardwood floors were lined in places with these raised carved wood tablets--- huge sound panels. They lined the walls in lovely designs, along with some kind of material covered raised sound panels too. The colors were mixed, a grayish background, and the wood was light. There was a piano, which mom was at, and electronic keyboards as well. About six guitar stands with guitars and a drum set, and as I looked a guy came in sat at the drum set and started adjusting things.

I shivered.

It seemed like a few minutes passed when Kareem went out of the room and started talking to Parker. Pretty soon sounds were heard over my mom's quiet playing, and she looked up, smiled at me and patted the seat next to her. I shook my head, feeling self-conscious, and not wanting to move.

Kareem came back in, this time with Parker and I heard snatches of their conversation, "really insecure about writing--- I like to be alone."

"--- needs to be the right energy while jamming---"

"--- don't know if a song will be a hit or not---"

"Can't let it go out unless it's perfect---"

"--- have a real hard time with that too---

"---place matters---"

Then Rafe took a guitar and Kareem loaded himself with another and they started in jamming like they had the night before. Mom settled into playing and even humming, and pretty soon she was singing, and not just a little, but a lot, and then they were all singing, and it was like last night, and it wasn't. And I was totally out of my league and wanted nothing more than to get out of there, and let them have at it.

There were new words, and they were projected now on a screen, so they'd all sing the same things. The drummer was experimenting, and another guitarist was brought in. Somebody brought water bottles.

They practiced the same things for a long, long time, playing them over and over, and really concentrating on it, and how it sounded. Rafe focused his energy so whole-heartedly, and Kareem was so intuitive with him, it was like they two were symbiotic. I thought about sidling out.

Eventually, when I wasn't included or called upon for anything at all, and the four of them were totally absorbed in their work, I started thinking along the lines that they were, trying to follow their thoughts. And I could hear their efforts being knocked down and their ideas frustrating after another hour and I shook my head at their tenacity, and their inability to get the sound and feeling they wanted.

I had an idea. I didn't know if they'd like it, but it passed through my mind and I got up and went into where Parker was tweaking something.

I stood there till he noticed me.

"What's up, Aub?"

"Don't call me Aub." I said.

"What's up, Aubrey?"

"What if it isn't meant to be sung all together like that? What if just the chorus was sung by Rafe and Mom, and Kareem just rapped the verses? And then sort of came together in the end? What about that?"

Parker straightened. His blue eyes blinked as if I were either a genius or completely off my rocker, his hands were on his hips, then his hands moved to the back of his neck and his eyes closed and then he leaned over and pushed some buttons, telling them all to stop for a minute.

He started tapping out the rap beat... something I could never have done--- and then divided it from the chorus. He had a really good voice.

I stood there, hands behind my back, then alternating wringing in front.

He was singing... but he'd changed tempo like four times in as many minutes, and finally he looked at me... "It's not rap, but I get what you mean. Come here. Hold this." He handed me a microphone and then pushed a button. "Sing the chorus."

It was just Parker, no one else could hear me, it wasn't being recorded, just worked on. I closed my eyes took a breath and sang the chorus. And right when a line ended, Parker overlaid his voice as he started the next line. So he started it before I was finished, but I got it and did the same to him on the next line, and it sounded very hip-hop, but it was singing, but he'd also changed the tune some, and now it was much less sing-songy. It sounded quick tempo and almost rap like. But not.

I smiled at him, feeling confident we were on to something.

The words were on paper in front of me. I sang them cold--- having never even seen these ones before. Then from the doorway came Rafe's voice--- appropriate for the chorus and Mom accented him just underneath, a whole new tempo, a whole different harmony.

Kareem joined me and Parker, and we all just squished into the doorway, singing together this brand new version of their song.

Parker started over, and Kareem took his place. I started to sidle out, and Rafe joined Kareem and with his hands on my hips, put me between himself and mom and I joined her. Then another guy came into the room, he joined Kareem and Rafe on the third verse, and Rafe went back to blend with mom and me and I faltered until his hands on my hips swayed me into him, and it just felt so right.

We sang it through about three times with minute changes as the song morphed into what it needed to be. Parker dropped out and fiddled with the music until we could hear it inside the sound room with all his huge flat computer stuff that I had no idea what it did. Rafe indicated we should go back out to the recording room and pick up our instruments and mikes, and Mom left the piano and joined Rafe and he held me in front of him, his hands on my shoulders, his body reverberating with energy.

The song was being made.

They took turns rapping the verses, and singing the chorus, and eventually it solidified into something everyone felt good about and we took a break.

Kareem took my hand and asked me questions, told me his own ideas and rubbed the back of my hand absently. They started joking around about Rafe's other projects, things he couldn't even think while in this room with these people, and how it would have taken so much longer any other time, but in this company and with his muse in tow, he'd just done almost the unthinkable.

Parker added transitions--- some instrumental, Rafe grabbed his guitar. Kareem went to the keyboards then into the other room, and then one more time we were singing, and again and then a final time and then Rafe backed away from the whole thing and asked if we could come back to it in a few hours.

The other guy who had come in--- both Kareem and him were confident black guys, asked if we wanted him to come back, and Rafe said they did. His name was Jairo. He agreed with a small smile, told them he'd be back and then Kareem and Mom left too. Parker said he was going to mess with it for awhile, and I knew him to be very single-minded when he was in the groove, so Rafe took my hand.

"You want something from the cafeteria?" He asked me, yawning as we made our way out the long hallways to the main area.

I glanced out the windows. It was dark outside. "No, I'm tired. Are we coming back tonight?"

"Yeah, we'll lay it down tonight. You did an extraordinary thing in there Aubrey, you know that right? You took a simple love song going nowhere on the pop charts and turned it into something special. Even I can feel this song has potential."

I shrugged, yawned again and turned toward the cafeteria. Better that than nothing. I made a salad and got some of Mom's regenerative herbs that were always on hand. Rafe asked about them and then wanted them too, so we both took a handful of pills and drank herbal tea and had a small salad, and I listened as he spoke his observations about the song and other songs he had spinning around his head.

"You're looking either really bored or very sleepy."

"I'm tired." I said. "I think it's late."

"It's nine." He glanced at his watch. "Come here." He took my hand and led me down a hall I'd never been down. He seemed to know the way, as he pulled me along unresisting, and then tried a door on the right, it was locked, he went to the next and tried them all till he found an open one. He pulled me inside and I gazed around at the strange storage room he'd found. He locked the door behind us.

There wasn't a window, wasn't any other door. I turned to see what he wanted in this room and saw something I never expected to see. Rafe Stryker had pulled off his hoodie, and was now stripping out of his shirt. In the dim fluorescent light his tattoos gleamed. My hand fluttered to cover my breast. What brought this on?

His chest looked tan against the backdrop of shelves of abandoned equipment. Then he reached for me, peeled off my blouse, and pulled my camisole spaghetti string straps off my shoulders, before he started kissing me on my collarbone, his hands running up and down my sides. I really felt breathless-- reckless, disbelieving.

"Aubrey-- you are so sexy."

I felt his ardor, felt the way he manipulated me so well, so confidently-- he was kissing me-- my lips were his, my heart beat into his hand. He pulled my leg up and insinuated himself, pushed me up against the wall and rubbed against me heavily, hard. His hands were beneath my camisole before I really believed he wasn't stopping---

I pushed his hands away, panting, throwing back my head so he couldn't kiss me. Not again! Really! Not again!

He grabbed my mouth, pulled me back to him and kissed me hard, passionately, demanding my response.

"Now, Aubrey-- I need you now."

His hands were on my skirt top, beneath it. I grabbed them and pulled them away. "Stop it."

"Baby, please."

"Rafe, knock it off. Not like this. Not in a storeroom. Not now."

"If we were married would you do it with me in the storeroom?" His voice was urgent.

"Anywhere anytime you want." I panted against him.

"I want you."

"I want you too."

He was still kissing me, still pushing me, but not--- like that. And finally, he pinned me to the wall and pressed his forehead into my chest, breathing hard-- but stopped. I could feel his hips grinding into mine, and now simply pushed hard against me. His arousal apparent.

"Tonight was unbelievable."

"Good. I'm glad." I said sincerely. "But this isn't how we end it."

"Today was incredible. I've got more music in my head than ever. I've got songs for you. You're my muse, you're mine."

I nodded, panted, felt his body, his weight, tightly controlled. This wasn't some silly little RM never been with a girl, this wasn't some high school or college boy, all fumbling and gangly. This was a grown man, who wanted to make love with me.... who was considering marrying me to do that. And I knew--- I wanted him to ask me. I wanted him to be the one.

But not here, and not now. And not like this.

"I need you Aubrey, more than I've ever needed anyone."

"Thank you," I whispered, holding his face away and pulling back so I could see his eyes. Instead, he gave me a good view of his shoulder tattoos, and I ran my hands over them, feeling the tension there, the unleashed passion bristling all around us. He still had one hand holding my leg up and he ground into me again, rubbing against me. It felt incredible.

"I want to taste you." He whispered as he bit my bottom lip and played with my skirt top with his fingers.

My numbed mind did not really register that, but I simply kissed him again, and his kiss was hot, and different... licking, pulling, throbbing with need.

"I'm out of my league here, Stryker. I've gotta stop now. I can't do this."

He chuckled. "You are way out of your league."

But I knew he liked that. He let me go, and I handed him his shirt, and hoodie. He put them back on, giving me the sexy eye the whole time, I adjusted my clothes.

He grabbed my hand. "It's going to happen, Aubrey, you know that right?"

I drew in my breath sharply and nodded.

"As long as you know." He said and then opened the door and we went back to the studio and finished his song in one sitting.

*******