Rafe

I thought she might go back to the house, so I gave her some space. Aubrey wasn't a little bimbo girl, she would figure it out soon enough. Although that might have been a rather drastic way of teaching her. I wiped my hand across my mouth and hung my head feeling confused.

What this girl did to me... I smiled. What this girl does to me!!!!!

I lose my mind. The very first time I saw her in her garage should have been my red flag. She got out of her little yellow 2016 Beetle, shapely legs that didn't quit, and a figure to die for hidden under loose fitting scrubs. She wasn't very big when she stood up, she made me feel tall and powerful. I was used to models, you see. Girls who topped 5'11" if they were an inch, and their curvy bodies were emaciated—with fake boobs, and fake hair, every one of them. The first thing I realized about Aubrey, was that she was real.

I'm not a big guy. I never was. I played basketball until Senior year of high school when the band took all my time, and I was lucky to graduate. I had the moves to play ball, but not the drive, so I quit. The first year of the first band, which wasn't Axis like it is now, I had to do body building to even look like I was eighteen. Looks are everything in this business. If you look like an idiot, it doesn't matter how good your voice is or your sound. You won't get gigs without looks and presence.

So we went to college, me and Jeff and Ben, that's where we met Troy and Mutt. (Really, his name's Matt but no one ever called him that.) And Aubrey was right, I majored in vocal performance, and theater-- and business, baby-- and business. The music industry is a business. And to finish off her little perceptive assumptions, I haven't really stopped going to school. I still take classes. Now and then. More now—than then.

The videos are an attempt to get our name out there. In our day garage bands are everywhere. They come and go so fast it'll make your head split. The days of bands that last for thirty years-- ha! They're done. They sell a couple gazillion albums and get out. I had to break that mold for sure, couldn't be just another shock wave two album band. But in that case-- studio time and tours-- and sex. Sex sells, baby.

I worked. I can't explain how freaking hard I worked. I left the church behind, much to my family and friend's dismay, but sex and the church were mutually exclusive. Jeff and Ben are members too. They did it too.

I got up and walked back to the house. It was a comfortable home with pictures—expensive artwork, but very tasteful, all of it of Christ or the temple, or something Mormon. I expected that. The Mann's are well known in the industry for their religious preferences. I thought for sure she'd be there, cooling off, ready to talk.

Okay, she wasn't there. I checked and our car was still there, but she wasn't, so I jumped in the car to go down to the studios. I've been here before, remember? She may have gone to the cafeteria. My heart didn't hold out hope of that, we'd had a big dinner. She had probably gone back up to the main house. Pretty sure I didn't have access. I got out my phone.

I had to leave a message. She didn't answer.

Seriously?

Now, you should know, if this was any other girl, playing catty girl games like this, I'd have blown her off. I'd have locked her out of the house, or driven back to wherever I'd come from, or called and had security pick her up. I was fairly well known for having no patience for stupid girl games. But, this probably wasn't that. And, I was pretty far away from home.

I was sitting on the front yard rocks watching the peacocks in the almost dark when my phone rang.

"Rafe?" Who did she expect to answer my phone?

"Hey." I decided to be nice. I didn't know this girl, or this type of girl-- as per my own admission. But I could only take so much running off behavior.

"Bread is really bad for them."

She caught me completely off guard. "What?"

"Is that bread you are feeding them?"

I shoved it in my pocket and looked around. She was over across the way, sitting on a fence. I put the phone away and walked over to her. Aubrey is by far the most interesting female I've ever met. Everything about her draws me in, her looks, her professionalism, her recklessness, her spontaneity. She's compact and curvy, and not the least bit showy or fake. And she has beautiful blue eyes and full, curly, long blonde hair. Her features are petite, and symmetrical and perfect, and-- I sensed that she wasn't all that impressed with herself.

"Forgive me for taking liberties. But you get the message."

"Loud and clear." She said rather snidely, and I wanted to laugh.

"Hey, don't get all bitchy with me. Restraint is unfamiliar to me as well."

She nodded curtly. "Let's go in."

"Sure." I could see she was cold, or way turned on-- I will opt for cold under the circumstances.

I followed her up the stairs and into the spacious living area. Aubrey went to clean up the kitchen and I leaned over the counter watching her. We need to talk. Mutual cleaning activities are a calculated risk.

"Why did you want to show me all your music videos?" She asked and I knew I'd been waiting for that question. It would have to come up.

"I wanted you to see the other side of me before we got in too deep."

"Would you have tried to sleep with me that night? You wanted to show me those so I would know what kind a guy you are?"

I drew in my breath sharply, annoyed that she was deliberately misunderstanding. "I think you need to know what you're getting in to and make no mistake, Aubrey, we are-- getting into it."

"Maybe I've changed my mind."

I laughed reproachfully. I haven't been hurt a lot-- not by girls-- because I never let myself get close enough. I am always the one doing the walking away. But her lashing out actually did hurt.

"Do you remember the other night you said I wasn't hearing you?" I stared her down as she put the spices we'd used back in the cupboard. "That night in the shower." I had to remind her of all the good memories we'd shared—get her to see them as the wonderful oddity they were.

She stopped, gave me one piercing glare and then nodded as she turned back to the cupboard.

"I think you're trying not to hear me. The way I was trying not to hear you."

She stopped, the dishcloth clutched tightly in her hands. "In what way am I trying to misunderstand you, Rafe? I am beginning to think you led me on."

"I did. And I did not. You think I'm completely in control here, don't you? You think I've had so many relationships that I know how to manipulate you to get everything I want. That is so far from the truth Aubrey. I am just as vulnerable here as you. I can tell you're something special and that if I tread too unwisely I will lose you."

"Then what you just did out there was a real turn off." She turned her back on me and I had to climb over the counter and hop down beside her. I took the cloth. I pinned her to the counter with an arm on either side of her, and when she tried to get away-- and I knew she could-- I leaned in.

"We kind of started out all wrong. We need to go back to square one."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't want a rocker boyfriend here today and gone tomorrow who doesn't know what he wants."

I nodded. "I get that, I do. I agree. What do you want Aubrey? Can I be that guy?"

*****