TW: Depressed Reader
Death
mentions of Blood and Corpses(/Dust)
Swearing/Cursing/Cussing

Reader is depressed. It's written in a way that says that 'you' have done this and that, so if it says 'you are in need of coffee', it pretty much potrays your thoughts, Reader. So, please don't take the 'Insults' (You'll see what I mean) too seriously. I do not mean to insult you in any way!!!
This is purely fiction. So please mind that. Scram now if you can't read this chapter. There might be better, less depressing upcoming ones, if ya want yo stay.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!

Sorry for any spelling errors.

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"Sans?", you asked as you looked before you in disbelief.

You and him were together since the last 2 years and the anniversary passed not long ago.

You two were happy. You even did a monster custom called soul bonding, to deepen your connection.

It just clicked with you two, like you have met before.

Like you were destined to be together.

So, why did it have to end like this?

Why was he destined to die on this day?

WHY was fate so fucking cruel to you?

IN WHAT WAY WAS THIS FAIR??

You and your monster and human friends were on a demonstration that day, walking on the streets, demonstrating for more monster rights.

But of course some humans would have to cause mass panic. Of course something would go wrong on a fucking demonstration for monster rights. Of course!

Because most humans are selfish.

You stare at the scene before you, screams ringing around but not reaching you. Because sans was just attacked.

He was attacked.
And it was too late for help.

Curse the world for making him so weak. For making him loose his HoPe. For making him suffer so much. For making him so vulnerable.

The attacks and screams didn't register in your head. You could only focus on him. You could only cry while looking at his trembling form.

Like everything was slow motion.

You startled awake from your trance as a gunshot rang from nearby. "Sans!", you yelled as you held him, keeping him from falling over, as he stared at his wound, eyes black and empty of everything but void.

Your other friends lied on the ground lifeless or turning to dust. Strangers lied on the ground dead. Dust and the smell of iron lingered in the air.

You felt sick. Your stomach churned at the sight of everything around you. At the sight of dead human bodies, lying on the ground. At the smell of death that lingered in the air.

You felt sick.

Undyne tried with every ounce of determination she had to stay alive.

It didn't work.

Sans, you and the little human named Frisk were the only ones left from your group. And he was already on the deathbed.

Curse this world. This prejudice. This pain. Everything.

Curse it all.

You could hear yourself scream. Your voice tearing apart. Your throat hurting. Your eyes leaking.

You could feel your world crumbling.

Sans's eyelights returned for the blink of the moment and tried reaching for a heavily injured Frisk but missed. He mumbled a quick, almost silent 'sorry' and held you close, as you cried.

Suddenly you found yourself in your home, in your room with Sans in your arms.

He took deep breaths, trying to keep himself from dusting just a bit longer. You mumbled into his chest, "I am sorry this happened. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.", but Sans just shushed you with a kiss, trying to keep you calm.

The embrace felt so good. Like nothing was wrong, like this wasn't the end of the world.

But you could feel the salty tears, trailing down your face. And you could feel his magical tears, also fall onto your shirt.

You wanted to stay like this with him. Stay like this forever and ever. Feeling his affection close to you.

But you pulled apart. You opened your eyes, seeing Sans smiling at you widely, like he always does.

It's one of the many things you grew to love and hate about him. It was like his special poker face, that never showed his true cards.

"*y/n", he started, while you sniffed. Your world was falling apart. "*i am sorry that you have to go through this,", Sans said shakily, his head, arms, and feet starting to dust. To die. "*but know that we'll see each other again. *okay? *it's all going to be fine.", he said with a smile. You wanted to look away, avoiding his gaze on your weak state, but a bony hand held your head in place.

He hugged you close again, squeezing you tightly. You shut your eyes, squeezing him back. And then.

Then you felt nothing.

Only his dust remained.

You stare at it.

Only his dust remained.

Suddenly you felt yourself sitting on a bed. Your tears leaked from your eyes and your frame was trembling. You quickly took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself of the events, that just played in your mind.

Yes, it was another nightmare.

Nothing to worry about.

Just another nightmare.

It wasn't real. It never was. This was just another one of those disgustingly painful nightmares that won't let you sleep. That made you unable to sleep. That made you fear sleep.

That made you an insomniac.

Haha.

...

Oh, who were you kidding.

You knew that it was a real memory. That it happened. That is wasn't just a nightmare.

After that incident, you found yourself in bed, breathing heavily and crying.

It was your first RESET you had been aware of.

You didn't believe it at first. That it was just a stupid nightmare, that you somehow remembered.

But the RESETs kept happening over and over again, with you always waking up in your bed, staring at the ceiling in disbelief.

It happened so many times you lost count.

Life seemed very boring now. It always started at the same point. The same events always took place, and whenever you had motivation to do something in one RESET, it would be erased by the next.

Who cared about effort and such, when it's all going to be RESET anyway?

Haha.

It's making you go insane. All of it. Every RESET makes you want to tear this world in two, cursing it, showing your hate towards your sad fate.

You didn't even know why they happened.
You didn't even know why you could remember.
You didn't even know why you were going through all this.

All this pain and suffering.

Haha.

...

After you realized that what happened before your first RESET was true, you couldn't stop having nightmares or sometimes dreams about him.

Sans. Your boyfriend those many RESETs ago.

But he also forgot about you.

Noone remembered the RESETs after all, so why would he?

The thought made you cry. How funny that a simple little thought can make a whole body tremble. Make it cry. Make it's owner suffer.

Besides, ever since the first RESET monsters stayed a legend, never coming to the surface to live life.

You felt like crying again.

You just woke up at 3 a.m. in the morning and you already felt like breaking down.

Haha.

What a sad creature you were.

Not even your God or Gods would pity you.

That's what you thought, anyway.

Haha.

You wonder when you will finally snap. When you reach your absolute breaking point. When you will discard your humanity and start making stupid decisions.

Haha.

It was probably soon.

Your tears leaked from your eyes, silently streaming down your face.

It hurt. Everything hurt.

Your chest, your head, your life, everything.

But you stood up anyway, starting your day. You're on vacation, at the moment. Your family planned to go somewhere with you.

You kindly denied their offer.

They didn't need to know about your mental state anymore than they already do.

They noticed your change in personality, blaming it on all the stories you read and movies you watch.

If only they knew.

Regardless, they noticed you being 'a bit down', lately, so they wanted to do something with you to cheer you up. You refused, like you already said, but appreciated their kind offer. Their love to you made you keep going. How happy you were to be blessed with a good family.

You sometimes wished your friend had the same luck. That they could experience the same kind of love and affection. That they could live happily.

And then you felt guilty for not knowing what to do to help.

Regardless, you changed your clothes to a warm outfit. It was winter and you wanted to go out in the park that day.

It was snowing outside, making the atmosphere even more magical. Once it was brighter outside, you could go to the very special and important place you wanted to visit. And that would only be in about 5 hours or more.

Those 5 hours were spent with you drinking coffee, watching TV, reading some books and crying occasionally.

What a sad creature you were.

Haha.

But you made it your goal to watch the sun rise in the park, regardless of the cold and icy weather.

Today would've been your anniversary after all.

Hooray... get the confetti and party lights, 'cause after so many RESETs you could finally celebrate your anniversary. It was like a small bonus for you after all the suffering. A little reward or treat you could say.

Sans confessed in the park you planned going to, so you had to spend the day there. Anywhere else would make you angry at yourself.

Haha.

It was somehow funny, how some RESETS lasted for longer than others. Almost like someone had control over them. This RESET has been especially long, meaning that you could finally enjoy your anniversary after many timelines.

The treat you have been anxiously waiting for.

But it wasn't the big cake yet, that you actually crave.

You put on your coat, gloves, hat and warm boots, grabbed your bag, put coffee, your purse with papers and money in it, and made your way towards the park.

It was still dark out, so you were a bit freezing. It didn't matter much. You watched the warm air, leave your body and make a white puff before you, before disappearing. The snow gently swayed before you, falling onto the already fallen down snow on the ground.

The weather was beautiful. Cold, but beautiful.

The park wasn't far away from your home, so you arrived between five and ten minutes.

The sky wasn't as black and dark as before. Instead it's light blue colour slowly changing to a yellow and orange in the east.

The sun would rise soon, and you were near your destination. A good thing.

You walked through the park, looking at the little snowmen the kids probably built. There were the occasional snow angels as well as some snow fortresses.

And a battle field. Like the battle field that took you away from everything that da-

You quickly shook your head, trying to not think about that thought, rather looking at the piles of snow on the ground, obviously from a fun game of snow-ball fight. Maybe even multiple.

It was a happy sight for you. Kids should be kids after all. They shouldn't stay inside on such beautiful days. The weather was magical after all.

Sans mentioned that he lived in a snowy place underground. He mentioned that winter on the surface made him happy. It made him recall happy memories. Fun memories.

But he couldn't tell you those happy memories anymore. And he wouldn't fall in love with you again, now that you were an actual mess. Now that you had this crippling feeling of wanting to just die for good, not having to live through another RESET again.

You felt like crying again.

Why were you cursed with this? Why were you cursed with having to repeat the same days and weeks and months over and over again, never meeting your lover and friends in the process?

Haha.

But you couldn't really call him your lover, could you. He was more of a love interest for you now.

Or your true love.

Haha.

It's been so many RESETs ago. Maybe it was all a lie. A dream. A nightmare.

A fiction that never ended.

Maybe monsters were always a legend and the first timeline was nothing but your pure imagination. A lie.

Hopefully not.

Or hopefully it was.

It hurt either way.

You arrived at your favourite spot subconsciously. This was the place where he confessed to you.

It was snowing that day as well.

You wanted to cry.

So you cried, as you sat down on a bench. The cold wind hurt, as it blew on your face, on your tear ridden face.

But you came to this place because of a happy occasion. So don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

The tears came anyway. Maybe you could just think about distant nostalgic memories instead. Even if that ended with you crying like a mess.

So you recalled them. All those good times you had. How you met the monsters. How you met Sans. How your first cooking session with Papyrus went. How Frisk proudly showed their drawings to you. How you and Frisk saw Undyne and Alphys cuddle on the couch asleep after a movie marathon. How Alphys messed with your phone, to inspect and look at human technology. How Mettaton dragged you to his place to help him make social media accounts. How Toriel baked with you, showing you her recipes proudly. How Asgore talked about politics with you over a cup of tea. How Sans dragged you to Grillby's new 'Grillby's' to eat some fries and have a good time. How Sans always made Papyrus rage with his puns. How you developed deep emotions for the small skeleton. How Sans eventually confessed to you.

So many happy memories, that vaguely stayed with you. You couldn't recall certain moments clearly, but you knew they happened. It's like little entries in your head, that never completely faded away.

The tears streamed down your face, as you watched the sun rise. It was already showing since some time ago, painting the sky in beautiful red and orange colours. Some would even say golden.

The sun rays hit your ice-cold face, warming it slightly. It felt so good after your crying session. You grabbed the warm coffee from your bag and gulped some down, enjoying the warm sensation in your hands and belly.

Suddenly you heard a 'ping' behind you. It startled you, making you jolt awake from whatever trance you were in. You couldn't help but notice the noise's familiarity, but it was probably just some phone getting a notification, so you didn't pay it any mind.

You just continued looking at the sun, that was now fully up making its way across the sky. The sky looked a lot less orange now, but the clouds were pink.

If you had a canvas and colours with you you would've tried to capture it. Your phone wasn't suited for good quality photos. Sadly.

You never cared to buy a new one. The pictures you would take would be erased by the next RESET anyway, so why bother.

Footsteps sounded behind you, getting closer and closer by the second. You didn't really care though. It would all RESET someday anyway, so why be bothered by it.

Some part of you somehow wished for it to be some robber or killer. Some person that would kill you and take you out of your misery.

The footsteps stopped awfully close to you and continued not long after. You were intrigued to look around and see who it was.

But maybe your death would be quicker if you didn't.

A cold breeze blew, making all the snow fly in your eyes direction. You squinted, them not enjoying the cold and wet sensation on your face.

"*uhh...", a familiarly deep voice sounded somewhere beside you. "*excuse me. *would it be alright if i sat down next to you?", the probably man asked.

You felt disappointed. The person wasn't going to kill you after all.

Regardless, you wanted to flip him off, seeing as you had a good time and didn't need anyone to ruin it.

So you turned your face towards him, looking up and freezing in your seat. Ironic, since it was freezing cold.

Before you stood a small figure, with a blue jacket, hood up, covering his face almost perfectly. His face seemed pale, maybe even white. He had long pants on, covering his legs up.

You glanced him up and down some more, feeling a very weird tug on your heart. It felt so familiar. He felt so familiar.

You noticed his familiar grey socks and fluffy slippers. The slippers seemed very familiar. The hood too. The figure itself.

And the voice as well.

Where did you hear it before?

The figure sighed deeply, almost looking depressed somehow. Maybe it was the posture that gave it away.

All of a sudden, something flickered underneath the hood. Like two little lights, where his eyes should be.

But skeletons don't have eyes.

Huh? Why did you think he was... why... a.. skeleton... A short skeleton. Isn't that... no, don't overreact... but his voice sounds so familiar. It suits him... and his figure... his jacket his slippers his...

It must be him... right?

It has to be Sans. The small skeleton you dated in far and distant memories ago.

The skeleton, that had turned to dust.

Your mind screamed at you to embrace him, to not let go. To not let him turn to dust. To not let him leave you again. To not let him die.

You didn't want to be alone again.

Your heart, your soul your body your mind your being, everything.

Everything told you to embrace him and hold him and not let go.

And you couldn't deny your whole being, as it was what you wanted.

You hugged the short skeleton close to you. You didn't even notice that you had started crying. Maybe since you saw him. Maybe before that. Maybe you had started when you realized that it was Sans.

Why was he here?

It didn't matter.

How was he here?

It didn't matter.

There were no news about monsters on the surface.

It didn't matter.

Because he was somehow here.

You felt him hugging back. It felt so right. You felt complete. You felt your world mending together, your heart beating out of your ribcage.

You felt so... warm.

You held his figure even closer now, taking in the hard sensation you felt underneath the jacket. It had to be him. It had to be your Sans. You felt like hugging a bag of bones.

So it had to be him!

He patted you on the back, rubbing a few circles between. It was enough to snap you out of your trance and quickly let go.

Tears streamed down your face once again, but you couldn't care less. You just hugged him out of the blue. Not only that, but he probably doesn't even remember you.

You just hugged a not so stranger and Sans just hugged a stranger.

Idiot.
You absolute idiot.
You dork. You idiot. You weirdo. You dummy.
You love deprived and depressed little fuck just messed up.

"I-I'm sorry!" you blurted out with a very hoarse and pained voice making you jump slightly. You looked to the side ashamed. You... finally had him again only to mess up.

Congratulations Y/n. You did a great job.

Sans just looked at you. Stared at you. He probably thought so many things about you now. Probably bad things and a lot of confusion.

Haha.

What an absolute sad and utterly pathetic creature you are.

"*it's alright...", he said unsure of the situation. Maybe he was surprised by the hug. Or that a human didn't panic at the sight of him.

But how could you ever panic at his healthy sight. At the sight of him being alive.

You looked back at him, looking him in the eye sockets showing little lights now. The white pinpricks stared intently at you. Observing you.

And somehow, you could see and feel his happy grin getting even happier. Maybe the happiest you had seen.

Not that you payed it any mind. After all, maybe he just found the situation funny.

He probably hated you deep down. He probably despises you now. He probably already judged you through the simple gesture you did.

He would probably see you as a weirdo and want to avoid you and leave you again and live happily with someone else while you stay alone and live sadly til the next RESET and hoping that you could make things right and-

"*do....", he started snapping you out of your internal panic while he didn't take his gaze off of you. You stared back, crying your eyes out, sniffling sometimes. Your breathing was uneven, making your heart beat weirdly as well.

"*do you... remember...", he asked you somehow monotone, you listening to his words intently while feeling another freezing cold breeze against your face.

Did you remember... him. Is that what he meant.

Did... did he remember... you?

You tried to speak, but your voice gave out. You probably cried too much in the last few days. Maybe you should've spoken more often. You tried again, stubbornly trying to answer him. Your voice came out like a little squeak.

But it came out.

"Sa-ans?", you asked voice cracking in the process. It was barely hearable, but Sans's pinpricks disappeared.

You panicked a bit. Maybe he didn't remember. Maybe you just said his name, even though you were a stranger to him. Maybe you messed up. Again.

Your breathing quickened a bit, but that didn't last for long. All your doubts disappeared the moment you saw tears streaming down his face. His bones. His skull.

His bones rattled loudly, him seemingly trembling.

His eyelights appeared again, as he stared at you longingly. "*(y/n)?"

You could feel your legs giving out in relief. Your body feeling like it could finally take a break from all the stress. Your mind screamed many things at once, making you unable to process the situation fully.

He fell back into your embrace, hugging you tightly again. He squeezed your body, feeling it up and down as if to make sure you weren't a dream.

You hugged back, trembling from the cold, staring at the ground behind him.

He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered. He remembered.

He actually remembered...

Haha.

What were the chances.

This was not a dream, right?

Don't let it be a dream. Please don't please don't please don't please don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't.

Sans held you tightly, not wanting to let you go. Not wanting to ever let you go. Not wanting to see you go. Neither did you.

He mumbled little 'sorry's into your ear, apologizing for leaving you for so long. Apologizing that he couldn't come sooner.

You whispered back to him, reassuring him, that it was okay. That you were okay.

That he didn't need to be sorry.

After some time, you both stopped saying anything and just hugged each other tightly.

It felt so right.

You felt so... weird.

Was it happiness? Had you forgotten what that felt like...

You really were a sad creature.

"*i love you.", Sans eventually said, pulling apart and staring into your beautiful puffy eyes, shining in the morning suns light.

"I love you too.", you quietly said, staring at his hooded features. You wanted to kiss him so badly now. Give him all the affection he deserves after being away from you so long.

"*do... do you still live where you used to?", Sans asked as he stared at the ground, probably feeling awkward but awfully happy with this sudden meet up.

You hummed in response, taking his hands and squeezing them tightly, making sure that he wasn't just in your imagination.

You checked so many times already, but who could judge you or blame you for it.

You finally had him back.

And you would never let him go again. You won't let him leave you again.

He needed you and you needed him after all. And you had eachother now. That's all that mattered.

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This is my first oneshot. Especially an x Reader one.
Am happy for feedback or suggestions.
This was inspired by a oneshot I read by somebody. It's not the same thing but is orientated by it. So if you noticed similarities, than it's because of that.

Bye everyone!!