Sans had given up. So many resets. So much dust. So much pain. Seeing everyone he loved die over and over had did a number on him. Even when they had a happy ending, it'd be reset almost immediately. He couldn't afford to care anymore. He wouldn't care anymore.

Is what he told himself. But then you came along.

Your name was (Y/N), you had (H/L), (H/C) hair. (E/C) eyes, and every time he saw you, he hated how fast his soul would start beating. He realized that he was in love with you and he hated himself for it. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. Love only got in the way. If he got attached, it would hurt even more. He couldn't. He couldn't, damnit.

Recently, Sans had started getting more and more depressed by the days. His paranoia was creeping up on him even more then usual. He was ready. He was ready to blink. Only to be back in Snowdin. But it never came. And it was driving him insane. He couldn't live like this. He couldn't.

He started to get more and more depressing thoughts.

One day, him and Papyrus and their friends were going to one of Mettaton's shows. Seeing Mettaton on that stage. It made him start to question things. Would a fall from there kill you? How far was he off the ground?

How did it feel like to be dead?

What? That wasn't right. The more Sans thought about it, the more he started to daydream more and more. If he died and the kid reset, would he be alive again? Would it matter? Or would the sweet release of death give him peace.

Sans usually stayed away from knives. But recently he'd been looking at them more and more. Which blades would cut the deepest into his soul. If he made it hot enough, could it resemble the intense heat of being stabbed with the real knife?

Why not give it a try? If he did die and it all reset to where he was back alive. It wouldn't matter. Of course, if that didn't happen and he died for real, would that affect timelines? How would that affect his loved ones? Especially Papyrus.

Then he thought about you. And that made his soul ache. Don't get attached was the one thing he had to do and he couldn't even do that right. Maybe when he died, it would take his mind off of it. And he could get drunk with God or whatever. Maybe it didn't even matter.

Yeah.

It didn't matter. He just had to write a note. Per se to Frisk, to his brother. To you. And then he could go ahead a pick where and how he wanted to go through with it. Yeah. Easy peasy.

The quicker the better.

~~~~~~~~

He decided he would do it somewhere far away. Somewhere close as well so they could properly find his body though. He wanted someone like the Asgore to find it though. He'd never want his brother to see his dead body. He didn't want him to see him like that. He wanted Papyrus to only see the outside of his casket. To see a portrait of his smiling face.

He'd do it at night. Where the water would be moving rather quickly. You took him there once. It reminded him of waterfall. The stars were the best view point.  There would be a meteor shower in a few days. Friday he thought. He could fall backwards into the river. Crack his skull open and look at the stars fly across the sky as he breathed his final breath.

Yeah.

That's how he wanted to die. Thinking about everyone he loved. Thinking about you. Maybe if he remembered while he died, he'd forget. Maybe if Frisk did reset and it was like he never died. He'd die as soon as he got to the surface. Maybe he'd always do that. Get more reckless over the times. Yeah.

But for right now, he had to test it out. So right now, it was 2 nights before the shower. He'd start writing the letters, and send them out Friday. The day he'd die. Cause, if his friends got it the same day, they wouldn't be able to stop him. They'd be to late.

so he began to write and write.

To, Frisk

I may not have been the best. There's a lot of stuff I've done wrong my entire life. This might be one of them. But, it doesn't really matter anyway, right? You're gonna reset like you always do. I'll be back where I started. Like non of this ever happened. So. Why not just, die? I know all to well that YOU can't die. But, what about me? I can die. My soul can break. And if it does break, will I truly be dead? Or will I wake up in Snowdin tomorrow? There's a meteor shower today.

I've decided I'm gonna test out an experiment. What if I do die? If I do. Will it change timelines? Or will I wake up again. Take care of Papyrus for me. Even if I couldn't find any sort of happiness this time around. Don't reset, please. Let me be at peace for just a little while.

Besides. I'll rather kill myself than die by your hands any day.

           -Sans

He was done with that note. He couldn't write Papyrus one. He didn't wanna imagine his brother's face as he would read it. So he wrote one to you. It was a little different than Frisk's

To, (Y/N)

Hey. I haven't known you for that long. But I still felt the need to write you this note. You may barely know me and ask yourself, who the hell is this 5'4 skeleton by the name of Sans anyway? You might not have really even cared about my existence. But, I sure as hell care about yours.

The meteor shower. It's happening tonight. Remember that one place you took me? Maybe not. But, I remember. The best view of the stars. That's every nerd's fantasy. Well, atleast it's mine. Just, thanks. I don't know if I'll be around to see it with you again though. Only fate will tell.

Maybe, something in my life happened that made me not wanna live anymore. Maybe the thought of waking up in a place I'm no longer is what scares me. Have I told you I hate being scared? Probably not, but well, now you know. It's not your fault. Not Papyrus', not any of our friends' faults. It's my fault. And I'm taking responsibility. Maybe, just not in the way that's the best.

      -Love, Sans