(Literally only inanimate insanity au I have.)

(Tired of seeing cobs be a terrible dad and just being a piece of shit? HERE YOU GOOOOOO!)

Basic stuff:

Cobs and ballpoint pen are married and the dads in this au (LET ME HAVE MY SHIP I LIKE IT OKAY👺)

Mephone3GS is the oldest,ofc. (16/17)

Mephone4 and 4S are twins in this au. (15)

And Mephonex is the youngest sibling. (7)

Gonna forget like 80% of the other mephones 💀💀💀💀

FOR THE SAKE OF THIS AU MEPHONE5C and 5S are NOT TOGETHER AND ARE RELATED.

Not gonna remember anything about this au lol.

GO CRAZY.

[POV: None]

Cobs was doing his work in his office,glancing out the window every now and then,when Mephone4 and Mephone4S burst into the office,running around playing tag with eachother. He watched them for a few seconds,before he asked

"What are you two doing?"

Mephone4S tackled Mephone4,before he replied "oh! We were playing tag!"

"Get off meeeee!" Mephone4 whined,squirming.

Mephone4S got off him,and adjusted his sunglasses,before extending a hand to help mephone4 up.

Mephone4 grabbed his hand,and pulled himself up,before dusting off,then they both turned to cobs "sorry dad..."

Cobs sighed,before chuckling a little,amused. "It's okay you two,just don't do it again or I'll have to take your cookies away."

Mephone4 gasped,before he ran out of the room,pulling 4S with him.

Ballpoint pen walked into the room,noticing the two teens running out of the office.

"What was that about?" He asked,leaning on the doorframe.

"They were just messing around,nothing to be concerned about..." cobs replied,looking back at his work.

Ballpoint pen's expression softened slightly "alright honey. Hope work is going well."

"Thank you." Cobs looked up to give him a little smile,before going back to work.

Ballpoint pen walked out to go to work (he's still a critic in this au),passing by some of the young mephones and workers as he heads out of meeple.

[POV: Mephone3GS]

(Not broken yippeeee!)

I was sitting with Mephone5C and Mephone5S while we watched cartoons on the couch,as our other siblings were just goofing around or messing with staff members. I usually would tell them not to,but they don't really listen to me anyways...

I try my best though!

Mephone5C shuffled closer to me as she looked over to me

"When's dad and father getting off from work?" She asked

"Hm...I think father will be off early,and dad usually finishes at midnight..."

"That's a long time..." she mumbled,slumping on the couch a little.

I placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her "hey,I'm sure they'll be done in no time at all! It'll be okay...and once they're done,we can all play games,okay?"

She looked back at me,trying to keep confident "okay..."

Mephone5S rolled his eyes a little "come on,pinky. It's only a few hours...it won't kill you..."

Mephone5C pouted a little "be quiet. Your being mean..."

I sigh "there there you two..."

I felt something hit me in the back of the head,as I rubbed my head and turned to see what it was.

Turns out it was just MephoneX. They threw a ball at me for funsies before they promptly ran away.

I sighed. It was normal,I suppose...mephonex has always been kinda an oddball. They don't really talk much either. That was okay though! I still care about them just like the others.

I went back to watching cartoons with Mephone5C and 5S,keeping a lookout in case x decided to be sneaky again...

[IDK LOST MOTIVATION HALFWAY THROUGH GRRRRR]

[But yah wholesome]

[Bonus! More algebralien headcanons.]

One

They/them

They are a smily psychopath,but they are soooo cute!

Will watch you sleep! Or watch you from your dreams.

Silly little guy (I love them sm 🩵🩵🩵🩵)

Was dating three before four decided to murder three for betraying him,and attempted to murder one so they ran away.

Will smother you with a pillow if you if you say 'HFJONE REAL????' To them. (They hear it enough.)

Beefing with four (for obv reasons)

'13 buried. 0 found.' Is /srs.

Will speak with these on text: ':3 >_< -w- :0' etc.

Stalker core

Asexual,but biromantic.

Three

She/he (BIGENDERRRR)

Anger issues.

HEAVY METAL LOVERRR 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

looks innocent but probably has committed several accounts of vehicular homicide.

'13 buried. 0 found.' Is just /j

Is dead. Just chilling in the void or the graveyard with a,negative one,and sixteen. 

Demisexual/romantic 

Was dating one. Sometimes watches over them thinking 'so proud 🥹'

Had iron deficiency. (So did seven actually-)

Zero

He/they

Insomniac who stays up with ten chugging coffee

Just clones himself whenever he wants

Pretty chill dude.

Beefs with nine for calling them and their clones 'literally nothing' (it hurt their feelings. It's pretty one sided tho)

Can and will burn down the kitchen if he cooks (it'll depend on his mood if he does it tho)

Probably plotting on nines downfall.

Long distance friends with fifteen since she doesn't mind them.

AROMANTIC. NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION. ARO.

Negative One

(PORPLE)

She/they

She is dead. (Impaled by spike.)

She is very moody and stuff,and genuinely would rather not talk to a single person.

Sleeps 70% of the time.

Sorta vibing in the afterlife.

They were twins with one and such.

They didn't really like anyone else besides one,then she died 😀😀😀