┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧

⚠️ this story contains topics as eating disorders, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, negative thinking, perfectionism and obsession. please read at your own risk. ⚠️

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It had been a month since Jake started working at Seoul Zoo.

In this time Jake had managed to get used to his work schedule with the seals. Mornings meant cleaning the enclosure, feed the grownups, check on Maki and on Makoa—a pregnant seal—and then teach Maki swimming for half an hour.

The first time he tried to teach the fluffy baby seal how to swim had ended in a disaster. Choi Seungcheol had started laughing and watched the baby seal honk for dear life, splashing the water all around the back room of the seal enclosure. Jake, trying to keep the animals nose above water, got splashed by the water and ended drenched.

Worst part of it all?

When he went to the lockers to get changed, he bumped into Kwon Jinah. The cute, shy introverted young woman with the plum colored hair. The one with the cute smile. The one who walked through the zoo with penguins.

Jake could clearly remember the first time he thought that Jinah was cute. It was something so little, insignificant—something not worth mentioning—but to Jake it felt like the worlds were turning.

The two of them had a late shift together. Jinah asked Jake, if he ever did the last route through the zoo. Jake told her he didn't. So she asked him, in her polite voice, if he wanted to join her. She could show him how the last route worked and what he had to keep in mind.

Jake was eager to learn from Jinah.

They just arrived at the panda enclosure. One of the panda bears was still out. Jinah leaned on the railing and watched the fluffy bear do its thing. Jake was standing next to her and turned to look at her, when he saw a smile creep onto her lips.

Kwon Jinah barely smiled. So seeing her smile so sincerely turned a switch in his head. Cute, his mind screamed and Jake felt heat rush to his cheeks. Jinah looked really cute at this moment.

"Do you know her name?", she asked, pointing to the panda bear. Jake shook his head, shocked about the fact he thought his co-worker was cute. "Her name is Nabi. The zoo's CEO named her after his wife." Jinah's smile was beaming.

Jake nodded. He didn't know that Jinah was related to the zoo's CEO. He thought it was just a nerdy fact she got from working here.

Ever since that day Jake thought about how cute Jinah was. How cute the little things she did were.

And then he bumped into her—smelling like fish and being drenched from head to toe. And Jinah's first reaction? She chuckled and hid her laugh behind her hand. Jake wanted to evaporate in that moment.

He wanted to get closer to her! He wanted to be her friend and then he ended up embarrassing himself in front of her.

But Jinah never brought up Maki's first swimming lesson. And Jake was glad about it.

Jake just finished feeding the seals, when he saw Jinah and Emmanuel walking towards the front of the enclosure. "Good morning Jake-sshi" Jinah greeted the Scorpio. The Gemini was way more comfortable with Jake now but still continued to add the -sshi.

Jinah watched Emmanuel watch the seals swim through the water, while Jake waved Jinah. "How's the walk?", he asked nodding towards the emperor penguin. "Emmanuel's happy he get to walk" Jinah said and smiled.

The past month had been kinda quiet.

Since Namsoo was busy with her new boyfriend, Jinah hung out at home a lot. She even went out with Jay a few times. But mostly she stayed at home. To her demise she had gained a bit of weight, which literally caused her to have a panic attack.

After that she fasted for three days straight.

Jinah called it fasting, but it was more like restricting herself to eat anything that made her gain only a bit of fat. She drank gallons of water and soon managed to loose yet another two kilograms.

She was happy that her body slowly got even thinner, but her hands still couldn't wrap around her thighs. She was still too big.

She felt a bit weak today. Walking around the zoo with Emmanuel was exhausting and she got dizzy from time to time. She tried to concentrate on the honking penguin in order to ignore the pain in her stomach.

When she woke up this morning she had felt very gassy and her stomach had been bloated. She wasn't in the best condition lately, afraid something would go wrong and she'd faint. It wouldn't be the first time.

Only two weeks prior Jinah fainted in the showers at the locker rooms and a co-worker of her found her. She wanted to call an ambulance, but Jinah told her it was okay. She just needed to get fresh air. The hot water made her faint.

Which was obviously a lie.

Jinah's condition had worsened very fast. What looked like only the beginning of an eating disorder had spiraled into a full anorexia. Jinah just didn't want to acknowledge it. She couldn't see how thin her arms were.

They weren't thin enough.

"Hey Jinah-sshi" Jake spoke, before Jinah managed to run away with Emmanuel. Thankfully the penguin was still enamored by watching the seals. "Would you like to check out this new burger place that opened up in Itaewon?", he asked, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. He wanted to be her friend.

600 calories.

"I don't like burgers" Jinah lied—she loved burgers. She had liked them ever since she was a kid. When she used to travel to the USA with her father she would go out of her way to find a burger place and try their bestseller.

"They also have other stuff. They have sticky and crispy chicken, fries and other good stuff!"

288 calories.

594 calories.

These were way too many calories! Jinah tried to keep under 350 calories a day. Since she didn't have any breakfast and didn't plan to have any lunch she could probably snuck in a portion of this sticky and crispy chicken.

"I-I love chicken" she said with a fake smile. "Let's go after work" she smiled. Jinah would lie if she didn't like Jake. At first his behavior was freaking her out and annoyed her. But lately she didn't mind hanging out with him.

When she told Jay about it he laughed and told her he waited for the day she would fall for him. Jinah had told Jay that she didn't fell for Jake. She just wanted to befriend he because he looked like he could be good company.

And she admired how he worked with the seals.

One day she "ate" dinner with her parents, Marcus told Nabi about the new apprentice and how well he did with the seals. Marcus had proudly told his wife and daughter that Jake was the first zookeeper (in training) who kept with the seals for so long.

"Even Makoa trusts him already" Marcus had said and smiled brightly. Jinah agreed with her father. Jake had a way with the seals, that made them look like they were a bunch of good boys and girls—when in reality they were some cheeky little bastards. Cute, but mean at the same time.

"Great, shall we meet by your car after work?" Jake asked, when Maki bobbed over to him and barked at him. "A second big boy" he smiled at the seal and turned to look at Jinah. "Sounds great" she smiled and watched Emmanuel.

The penguin got bored with the seals and started walking towards the other enclosures. "Emmanuel's off. I'll see you later" she grinned and waved Jake before disappearing with Emmanuel.

Jake watched her leave and shook his head. "How the fuck can she be so damn cute?", he asked Maki who barked once more.

― 🐧♥️🦭 ―

Jinah waited in front of her car for Jake. The Aussie had apologized to her and told her he forgot his wallet in his locker and ran back to get it. While she was waiting for him, she scrolled through her phone when she heard someone call her name.

Confused she turned around to see none other than her best friend Namsoo—and Kim Hanwool. Jinah widened her eyes before bowing, to greet the older male. "N-Namsoo, what are you doing here?", she asked and Namsoo pouted.

"I thought you had the late shift today. I wanted to show Oppa your workplace!" Namsoo pouted and leaned onto the strong chest of the taller male. "I'm sorry. I had a regular shift. You should know that my long shift is on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays."

Namsoo acted as if she didn't know and chuckled. She gently hit her head and looked at Hanwool. "I can't believe how I could forget something like this. Am I stupid, Oppa?" Jinah widened her eyes. Namsoo was acting disgustingly cute with her boyfriend.

She watched Hanwool's features soften and smiling down at Namsoo. "Look at my babygirl being a confused little baby" he chuckled and Jinah had the urge to gag. Was this how couples talked to each other?

"Jinah-sshi!"

Jinah turned around and saw Jake running up to them. Jake's smile faded when he saw that Jinah had company. Namsoo looked from Jake to Jinah and back to Jake. "Isn't he that weird co-worker of yours?", she asked—the cutesy voice gone immediately.

"He's not that weird" Jinah said quietly and Namsoo cocked an eyebrow. "I told you he looks like a loser" Namsoo whispered, "and he definitely does look like one. Even in his normal clothes."

"Who are these guys?" Jake asked, standing next to Jinah. "Jake-sshi, this is Lee Namsoo, my best friend, and this is Kim Hanwool, her boyfriend" Jinah awkwardly introduced them to each other. "Namsoo, Hanwool-sshi, this is my co-worker Jake Sim."

Namsoo awkwardly bowed to Jake and Hanwool did the same, giving Jake a small wave at the end.

"What are you two up to?" Namsoo asked, weirded out by the fact that this loser was standing next to Jinah as if she belonged to him. "Jinah-sshi and I were actually going to check out this new burger place in Itaewon" Jake spoke and Hanwool perked up.

"Speediez?", asked Hanwool and Jake nodded. "That's the one!" Jake smiled and Hanwool nodded. "I heard only good things about this place. They only use fresh ingredients and the food is calorie deficient. I love this place."

Namsoo perked up. She looked from Hanwool to Jake and then to Jinah. "Oh my! Sounds lovely! Jinah, Jake-sshi you two wouldn't mind if we tag along, right?", Namsoo asked and Jinah felt a lump in her throat.

I do mind!, her head screamed, but she didn't say a word. And Jake grinned. "Sounds nice, right Jinah-sshi?" Jinah bit the inside of her bottom lip. "Sure, sounds great." She unlocked her car. "Let's get in then?", she asked and Namsoo grinned and let go of Hanwool to hold onto Jinah.

"You're the best friend I could ever ask for!"

— ❄︎ —

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞.

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

—𝕤𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕞𝕪𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕠𝕡