┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧

⚠️ this story contains topics as eating disorders, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, negative thinking, perfectionism and obsession. please read at your own risk. ⚠️

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Half an hour later, when everyone had finished their meal; Jaesung stood up. He took a look at his watch. "I need to head out. I have an early morning class" he said and smiled at the group in front of him. "It was very nice meeting you, Jinah-sshi" he smiled at the shy girl with the plum colored hair.

Jinah quickly bowed, holding her glass of water in her hands. She watched Jaesung collect his stuff and put a bit of money on the table—probably the cost of his menu. His friends bid their goodbyes and watched Jaesung leave. Now Jinah felt even more like a third-wheel.

Migyeong was already sitting next to Duri. They were holding hands under the table and whispering sweet nothings into each others ear. And Namsoo and Hanwool were pretty much flirting with each other.

Jinah took a look at her phone. It was already past nine pm. She hoped she could head home soon and go on a walk with Robin. The longer it took for her to sit here, the heavier the food in her stomach got.

"Do you want to leave with me, Namsoo-yah?"

Jinah felt a sigh of relief when she heard Hanwool ask Namsoo. "Oh, Sunbae" Namsoo chuckled and looked over to Jinah. "I can't possibly let Jinah go home by herself." Namsoo looked over to Jinah and furrowed her brows. She was sending her signals.

Jinah faked a chuckle. She knew this was the part where Namsoo wanted her to leave. "No biggie, Namsoo" Jinah smiled. She stood up and looked at her best friend and the three college friends of hers. "Let me treat y'all" she said and pointed to the cash register by the door. "I'll leave then."

Migyeong cocked an eyebrow. "You don't have to—"

"Sunbae!", interfered Namsoo. "Jinah loves treating people. Right Jin?" Namsoo glared at Jinah who was fumbling with her wallet. "S-Sure" she said and looked at the money Jaesung had left. "Give it back to Jaesung-sshi" Jinah said and bowed.

"It was very nice hanging out with you." Lie. 

"I enjoyed it a lot." Lie. 

"The food was really good." Lie, lie, lie. 

Jinah faked a smile and waved the older people. Namsoo rolled her eyes. "See you around, Jin" she called before turning around and averting her attention to Hanwool.

With a lump in her throat she walked up to the cash register. "I want to pay for table twelve please" she told the shop clerk. The young man punched something into the cash register. "Cash or card?", he asked when he saw Jinah holding the black credit card with both her hands.

A black credit card is an extremely exclusive credit card and almost solely reserved for the ultra wealthy. The clerk carefully took the card and punched it in the system. Never in his life as a waiter had he held a card like this. These cards are available on an invitation-only basis.

"I hope our menu was to your liking, Miss" the man spoke and handed Jinah her card. Jinah nodded. "It was very nice, thank you" she spoke, bowed and left the pub. Her heart felt heavy when she unlocked her car and sat down in the drivers seat.

The collar from the blouse was suffocating her and she angrily ripped open the buttons, trying to breathe. She held the fabric over her chest and tried to calm herself down. Next time Namsoo would invite her to hang out with her college friends, she would decline.

This evening was mentally exhausting. Counting calories, acting as if she had fun and as if she didn't feel left out most of the evening. Whenever Namsoo was around other people and Jinah had to tag along, she felt horrible afterwards. Still she always tagged along when Namsoo needed her.

After she managed to calm down a bit, she started the engine and drove home. She wanted to grab a set of cozy clothes, get Robin and run off these 466 calories. The traffic was okay and Jinah soon reached her home.

She parked her car and entered the elevator. Once in the penthouse, she kicked off her shoes. "I'm home" she called and Robin immediately came running down the hallway. Her pink tongue hanging out of her mouth as she jumped up onto Jinah's arms.

Jinah hugged her dog and nuzzled her face into the golden fur of the Golden Retriever. Instant healing. "Gimme a sec, Rob. I'm going to change my clothes and we can go for a walk." Before going to her room she went into the living room, where her parents were sitting on the couch and were watching a movie.

"Hi" Jinah greeted her parents and both adults looked over to their daughter. "How was dinner with Namsoo?", asked Nabi and looked at her daughters clothes. "It was okay. A bit too greasy for my taste" she answered truthfully, when her father Marcus turned to her. "Did you meet the new apprentice already?", he asked and Jinah nodded.

"We introduced each other when we were on lunch break. He's already smitten for Maki" Jinah chuckled and Marcus nodded. "He seems like a good kid. He only started his apprenticeship but I think he's going to handle the seals just right. Promise me to help him if he needs a hand, Jinah."

Jinah nodded. "Of course, Dad. I'm going to change my clothes and take Robin out for a quick walk" she said and her parents nodded. "Don't say out too long" Nabi said and turned around to continue watching the movie.

Once in sweatpants and a loose shirt, Jinah grabbed Robin's leash and entered the elevator with her dog. "I'm out" she called once she put on her sneakers. Her fathers head popped from the living room door. "Jay's waiting outside" he spoke and Jinah furrowed her brows. "Why?", she asked and Marcus Kwon chuckled.

"He was going jogging anyways and was in the area so I told him to wait for you, since you're taking Robin for a walk. You know how worried your mother gets when you're outside late at night by yourself." Jinah rolled her eyes. "Got it" she said and waved her father before putting on her shoes and leaving the house.

Park Jay was waiting in the lobby of the building. He was wearing a matching Nerdy jogging set in black and had thick rimmed glasses on his eyes. Once Jinah and Robin left the elevator the 180cm tall male turned around and smiled.

Robin immediately dashed to the young man and jumped up his arms. Jay chuckled and pat the dog before looking up and looking into the eyes of his life line. "Hey Jin" he greeted her, before continuing patting Robin's ears.

"Hi JJ" Jinah said, "did Mum call you here to take care of me or were you really in the area?" Jinah crossed her arms in front of her chest and the older male pursed his lips. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Tsk" Jinah breathed, "I'm not stupid, Jay. Tell me."

Jay stopped patting Robin and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "I was in the area but not for jogging, I was browsing this new flagship store" he answered truthfully and Jinah rolled her eyes.

Jay smiled at her. "Did you already have dinner?", he asked and watched Jinah fumble around with Robin's leash. The two of them left the apartment building and walked down the road.

Robin smelled everything in her close distance, while the two young adults were walking behind her.

"I did. Namsoo took me to this pub and we met up with her college seniors" Jinah told. Just the thought of the suffocating presence in this pub was sending shivers down Jinah's spine.

Jay felt that something was bugging her and threw his arm over her shoulder. "What happened?", he asked, putting all his weight on her. She glared at him and he took his arm off with a giggle leaving his lips.

"It was weird. Namsoo just needed me to have a 'date' for this Jaesung dude." Jinah rolled her eyes. "He was gay and clearly not interested in chatting with me. Namsoo also told her friends who I am and I had to pay for everyone." A sigh left Jinah's lips.

She could only tell her true feelings to Jay. If she would open up to Namsoo, about being annoyed that she had to pay everything, Namsoo would call her conceited and an arse. But Jay understood her and where she was coming from.

"Namsoo's milking you whenever she can, Jin" he said and watched Robin pee onto a lamp. "I know, JJ" Jinah sighed. "But she's my friend and she's happy when I pay for her." Jay rolled his eyes. "A friend doesn't use you for just your money though, Jinah. And you know that! We've been taught or whole lives that our parents worked their ass off for their money and that we should use it for good causes only."

"She's my friend" Jinah tried to reason but the black-haired Aries/Taurus cusp just chuckled. "I'm your friend. Robin's your friend. Namsoo is... well..." Jinah crossed her arms in front of her chest. "What?", she asked.

"Namsoo's just an acquaintance that uses you for her own good."

"You had a crush on her once." Jinah said with an empty expression on her face. "That was before I know what a conceited, arrogant and selfless bitch she is. Jin, I see how she treats you. She's playing with your feelings." Jinah sighed. "But she's my only girl friend."

To this, Jay didn't have an answer. He sighed and an uncomfortable silence washed over the two heirs who practically grew up with each other. They entered a nearby park and Jinah took Robin off the leash so the Golden Retriever could run around the park a bit and let her energy out.

Now, with Jay in the picture, Jinah couldn't really run the dinner off. She had to do an at-home workout once she's back. No matter how late it was going to get. And tomorrow morning she had to skip breakfast.

Her head was spinning, thinking about all the restraints.

"Are you listening?", Jay suddenly asked and Jinah's head perked up. "Sorry, I was watching Robin" the INFP answered and Jay sighed. "I think it's time to see Namsoo for who she really is. I want you to wake up from this trance she put you in and see that she's an absolute asshole."

"It's not that easy, Jay. You know it."

Jay sighed. "Marcus told me about the new apprenticeship. How was he?", Jay asked, switching the topic. He sensed that Jinah wasn't in the mood for a lecture today. "Oh my god he's so weird!", Jinah suddenly let out and threw her arms in the air.

"When I was taking my lunch break he barged in, introduced himself and started small talk with me? I wasn't in the mood for it at all and then we awkwardly introduced each other and he called me Jinah... without adding -sshi." Jinah rolled her eyes. "I have never seen a person like him!"

Jay chuckled. "Sounds like he's way too extrovert for you." Jinah nodded. "You're an extrovert, Namsoo's an extrovert, Robin's an extrovert and I bet this Sim Jake is an extrovert as well!"

"His name is Jake?", asked Jay and Jinah nodded. "I think he's from abroad. He has an accent in his Korean." Jay nodded with an interested expression on his face. "Maybe he's just an open minded guy and just friendly."

Jinah shook her shoulders and fumbled with the hem of her sleeves. Jay looked at her. "Jin" he said quietly and the woman hummed. "Are you eating properly?" The question hung in the air and felt like a weight pushing onto Jinah's shoulders. "Yes, why?", she answered and Jay scratched his nape.

"I overheard our mothers talking" Jay said, "Nabi's worried that you're not eating enough. You threw a tantrum because of the cinnamon toast she cooked for you." Jinah looked at her hands. They were trembling.

"I just wasn't hungry this morning" Jinah lied, "I ate a lot during lunch break and in this pub with Namsoo." - "What'd you eat?" Jay asked and Jinah gaped. "Gim— Kimchi Jjigae and Nakji-bokkeum" Jinah lied and Jay cocked an eyebrow.

"Sounds good" he said and looked at his best friend. It was obvious she lied. If she had really eaten these two dishes, she wouldn't have taken so long to answer. Jay wasn't stupid. He saw how rapidly Jinah's weight was sinking and how pale she was getting. He saw her thin arms and legs and knew this wasn't alright.

But he knew there was nothing in his power he could do, to save Jinah from whatever was going on in her head.

— ❄︎ —

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞.

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

—𝕤𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕞𝕪𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕠𝕡