Grace Xiu

"If you didn't love me in the first place, why did you stick with me for 2 full years?" I asked him, still remaining calm.

He pressed his lips together and looked at me with a softened face.

I shrugged. "2 full years, Jimin. 2 years of built up trust and love and you led me to believe it was all real."

I'm making him feel bad. I ain't even trying to hold back nothing. He is going to feel some pain tonight.

I'm going to be petty.

"You said you loved me, but you loved me too much? You have some commitment issue, but you seem to get into relationships faster than Nicki Minaj's rapping. Relationships are a commitment. Not just a approval for sex!" I ranted to him, shamelessly.

He looked down, away from me.

He had nothing left to argue. I was spitting fire.

"I want to know why you decided to drop me so suddenly after our long, COMMITTED relationship. I want to know why you even chose me in the first place. I want to know why you are trying so hard to get me to forgive you even though YOU KNOW that you won't forgive me if I ever did something like that to you."

"I've made many mistakes-"

"Really?" I scoffed.

"But dating you wasn't one of them." He finally makes eye contact with me.

I closed my mouth and leaned back up.

"I saw you, liked you, went on dates, and it went very well. Really well. It surprised me because I never knew I'd find THE ONE so early in my life. It scared me, but I let it go because I didn't want to lose you and win nothing."

I looked away and sighed.

The one?

What does he know?

"2 years. I stuck with you for 2 years and we were 2 years strong. Then, I saw a jewelry store. A wedding dress store. A wedding planner store. A strip club. A bar. The parties we went to. I saw a single father with 2 kids. All alone."

"I don't understand." I shook my head.

"My dumbass thought that if such commitment comes so early in my life, I won't be able to have fun. I won't be able to live my youth."

I mean....it's kind of true.

"Is that why you disappeared that one night after our movie date?" I gapped.

"Let me finish....please." He sighs.

"Fine."

"Anyway. I got scared. I was still young-"

"Young? Yeah, you were young 5 months ago." I muttered, cutting him off.

He looked at me with exhaustion.

"What? I'm mad at you, therefore, I'm salty. Continue."

He seemed to not care enough to argue and just hung his head.

"Just ask more questions." He said, weakly.

"Well, let's see," I stood up and paced around the room. "You realized your fear and decided to drop me because you wanted endless sex with different women?"

"That's not-"

"Jimin, you cheated on me more than once during our last months together!" I yelled at him, removing my chill. "I'm not stupid! I am not blind! I am not clueless!"

"I don't have any reason why you should forgive me." His head was still hung.

"You know." I threw my arms up. "I think I know what you wanted."

He finally held his head up and looked at me.

He didn't look too well.

His face was drained of light. Drained of the youth glow. He looked tired, beaten, and hopeless.

Not surprised.

"You just wanted attention." I pointed my finger in his face. "You NEVER wanted my heart!"

"I did too!" He stood up, making my finger brush against his chest. "I loved you. A lot."

"And yet, you still felt the need to cheat on me! You broke my heart, you took away 2 years of my life, and you used me to your own benefits...." My voice cracked at the overwhelming feelings.

"Hey, you had fun too!"

"Does it look like I'm having fun now?!"

All these past feelings that drove me to trash an entire house came back. Feelings that drove me to cry 24/7. Feelings that drove me to hate someone so, so much. All in one. Like one huge tsunami.

"And you come back here for what!?" I screamed through my tears, roughly wiping them from my face. "To see me cry again?! DIDN'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF THAT WHEN YOU LEFT ME ALL ALONE WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER?!"

"That's not it. I-I just wanted to clear things."
"You think this was a smart idea? You spammed me and publicized our feud just so you can make me feel like sh*t again? You don't have ONE good reason that could justify your dumb actions!"

"I loved you too much." He spits out, almost forcefully. "And it scared me."

"I'll backhand you if you say that again, Jimin." I got up close to his face and hissed. "You keep saying it, but it's just another stupid lie!"

"It's true, Grace!"

"I don't care! I love Starbucks so much, you don't see me getting a Jamba Juice!"

Faster than the speed of light, he rose from the couch and grabbed me by my arms.

My reflexes failed me and I didn't push him away in time.

His lips were on mine.