They took another turn and finally reached the spot.

"This is it!" Risha exclaimed.

Nilingon niya si Lukas na parang amazed na amazed habang ginagala nito ang paningin sa paligid. Ginaya na rin niya ang lalaki. Nakatambad sa harapan nila ang view ng Pasig river na tila napapaligiran ang buong pader na iyon kung saan sila nakatayo. Sa kabila ng ilog, kitang-kita ang mga nagtataasang building.

She could not help smiling.

"Wonderful, isn't it?"

Lukas looked around, then back to the buildings on the other side of the river.

"It makes me feel like I am in the Spanish era looking at the future, the future where those tall city buildings are already existing."

"Exactly!" bulalas ni Risha. Hindi lang kasi siya makapaniwala na parehong-pareho sila ng magiging impression ni Lukas sa view na iyon.

Risha bent down to lean over the stony top of the wall, her eyes focused on the sight of the city and the river. Ilang minuto na lang at mag-aalas kwatro na, dama niya iyon sa tila nabawasang intensity ng init ng araw.

Dinama rin niya ang pag-ihip ng hangin. Naalala ni Risha ang pamamasyal nila sa Rizaliana Furniture Hall, ang pagtitig ni Lukas sa larawan ng isang babae sa frame.

"That's O Sei San," tabi niya rito. "She has been one of Jose Rizal's lovers."

"That's interesting," Lukas said with his arms crossed, his eyes could not be taken away from the painting.

"She became Rizal's interpreter during his stay in Japan. She also gave him a tour around Japan's beautiful sceneries... different places... They had an intimate relationship but he just left her."

It took her a lot of guts to break the silence between them.

"Lukas?"

"Yeah?" lingon nito sa kanya.

"I don't want to be like O Sei San."

Hindi niya alam kung ano ang nakakatawa sa sinabi niya. She heard his low chuckle. "What do you mean?"

"She fell in love with Rizal. She toured him around her country, taught him stuff about her country, then he just left her. Ayoko mangyari iyon."

"Okay?" balik nito ng mga mata sa view ng ilog ng Pasig. "Bakit mo naman nasabi iyan?"

"Kasi..."

Come on, Risha! Say it! Nandito ka na, kaya ituloy mo na. Now or never!

Nahigit niya ang paghinga ng malalim. Hindi niya alam kung makakahinga pa ba siya sa mga susunod niyang sasabihin kay Lukas. At kung makakahinga pa ba siya kapag narinig na niya ang isasagot ng lalaki sa kanya.

Her hands turned to a ball of fist.

"Lukas... we are on the same situation, right? You, as Jose Rizal... me as O Sei San."

Nakita niya ang pagkabigla sa mukha nito. Tila natigilan si Lukas, napa-isip bago siya nito dahan-dahang nilingon. His eyes burned against hers. He was facing toward the direction of the sun, making his face shine in bright brownish yellow.

"Pagkatapos nating mamasyal at magsaya rito sa Pilipinas, aalis ka na 'di ba?" Napalunok siya. She did not intend to, but her eyes were betraying her. They wanted to open and let her tears fall. Pinilit niyang pigilan iyon. She swallowed a sob that was trying to escape from her lips.

"Yeah," tungo nito, pailalim na nakatitig sa mukha niya ang mga mata nito. "I have to. Kapag nakuha ko na ang memory card, kailangan ko na magreport sa Germany. Then, they will hand it over to the Russian army. I have to go back there immediately, this week is our ultimatum."

Tumango-tango lang siya. Kahit anong laban ang gawin niya, heto at nagsimula nang mamasa ang mga mata ni Risha.

"After that... will you come back? Can you do that?"

"What for?" mahinang tawa nito, pero taliwas iyon sa nakikita niyang pagkislap ng kung anong malungkot na emosyon sa mga mata ni Lukas. "Why do you want me to come back?"

"For us... to have a relationship," piyok niya. Bago pa kumawala ng tuluyan ang pag-iyak niya, napasinghap na si Risha at tinikom kaagad ang kanyang bibig.

"You want to have a relationship with me? A real relationship?" his eyebrows met.

She nodded. It was so stupid of her to take her heart out on her sleeves, but she was left with no choice. The only way to find out the truth was to be honest too.

"Risha," lumapit ito sa kanya kaya tuluyan na siyang humarap kay Lukas at tiningala ang lalaking may hawak sa mga braso niya, "you don't know what you're saying. We just met this week. You don't know a lot of things about me. You don't even know my birthday."

He was right. He was goddamn right. At dahil doon hindi na naka-kontra pa si Risha, iniwas niya ang mga naluluhang mata mula sa titig ng lalaki.

"I have been into a lot of relationships before, liebe. Kaya sa umpisa pa lang 'di ba, sinabi ko na sa iyo? You can make me your manwhore, but never your boyfriend. I am a military man. I have responsibilities. My past girlfriends? They complained because I lack in spending time with them, I lack in giving them enough attention. This attention I am giving to you? Ngayon lang ito, Risha. Dahil may kailangan ako sa iyo at alam mo iyon."

Napailing-iling na lang si Risha. He was right. Everything he said was right. Bakit ganoon? How could Lukas be able to say all the right things? They always seemed so right-- everything he would say and moan when they fuck. And even these things he was saying. All of the were right, even if they also hurt.

Hindi naman talaga magiging intimate sa kanya ang lalaki kung wala sa kanya ang memory card na kailangan nito, 'di ba? Saan ba niya nakuha ang ideya na mahuhulog ang loob nito sa kanya dahil may nangyayari sa kanila?

"Do you remember?" patuloy ni Lukas. His breathing was becoming shallow as he continued, "Do you remember what you did last night? You taught  me to be gentle. You want me to be some romantic, guy, because you know it to yourself that I am not that kind of man."

She just nodded. "Yes... all you did is just..."

"I have failed in so many relationships I began to hate it. I don't want a woman nagging me every now and then. Kung bakit hindi ako umuuwi ng bahay, kung bakit ang tagal ng mga missions ko, kung bakit kailangan ko mag-cancel ng date, umalis kaagad, kung bakit umuwi ako ng sugatan--" nagpakawala ang lalaki ng marahas na buntong-hininga kaya napatingala si Risha rito. Nakatitig ito ng lagpas sa uluhan niya, sa kawalan. His eyes were squinted.

Dahil sa pagtingala niya, naramdaman niya ang pagdaloy ng mga luha niya sa kanyang pisngi.

"So now, tell me, Risha, why would you want a relationship with me?"

Hindi pa rin siya tinitingnan ng lalaki.

"It's because..." lumunok muna siya. "Maybe, just maybe, you might want to take this to the next level, to something deeper, something more than just a physical attraction. Because me, I believe that we have so much possibilities on being together... for a long, long... time."

Nagmula si Lukas sa Germany, siya naman sa Pilipinas. Minsan na silang nagbakasyon ng pamilya niya sa Germany at posibleng may pagkakataon na tinalaga ang tadhana na magkita sila, pero dahil hindi pa tamang panahon, heto at muli silang pinagtagpo. Tila pinagdugtong nito ang mga lupa at pinadaloy ang tubig ng karagatan sa iisang direksyon para magkita sila at magkasama.

But all he replied to that was, "I don't see it the way you do, Risha."

Inalis na ni Risha ang mga braso mula sa pagkakahawak ni Lukas. She wiped her own tears.

"Sheesh," she glanced at her wrist watch. "Alas-kwatro na, bumalik na tayo sa sasakyan."

Dama niya ang pagtitig sa kanya ni Lukas bago ito humaplos sa pisngi niya. "Liebe, are you okay?"

"I am okay," salubong ng mga mata niya sa titig nito. "At least, alam ko na kung ano ang aasahan ko pagkatapos nito."

Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit hindi nito maalis-alis ang pagkakatitig sa mga mata niya.

"I swear," diin niya para tigilan na nito ang pagtitig sa kanya na tila ba hindi ito makapaniwala.

Pinasigla na ni Risha ang boses at tumalikod na sa view ng Ilog Pasig. "Tara na, German guy, kung gusto mong maabutan pa na bukas ang National Museum. May ipapakita akong isang exhibit doon. I am sure you will like it."

***

Lukas followed her inside the National Museum. It was a short drive away from Intramuros. Dere-deretso lang si Risha, tila kabisadong-kabisado na nito ang lugar.

"Pasensya na, ha? Hindi na kita mapapasyal pa rito masyado. Pero kapag may time ka naman pagkatapos ng mission mo, pwede ka naman dumaan dito eh. Malapit lang naman ito sa Cosmos hotel, doon ka nagi-stay dati, 'di ba?"

Hindi iyon sinagot ni Lukas. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang mararamdaman dahil sa mga pinagsasasabi ni Risha sa kanya sa may stronghold ng Fort Santiago.

Bakit ang dali para sa kanya na maka-get over sa pinag-usapan namin? Parang walang nangyari. Parang hindi siya umiyak. Parang hindi man lang bumigat ang pakiramdam niya.

Tulad nitong nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Here!" pasok ni Risha sa isang silid kaya naman lumapit siya kaagad dito bago sinundan ng tingin ang gusto nitong ipakita sa kanya.

A slender wall stood before them.

Anong meron sa mga pader? First, Intramuros and now this... another wall?

"What's that?" paniningkit ng mga mata niya sa pader sa harapan nila na nababalot ng mga graffitis. Kapansin-pansin ang nangingibabaw na drawing ng dilaw na mga bituin doon.

"A fragment of Berlin Wall!" masayang lingon sa kanya ni Risha.

For some reason, he could not look at her straight in the eyes. He knew she was faking it. But at the same time, he was feeling so unsure if he was right. Ang galing kasi umarte ni Risha na parang wala lang yung naging sagutan nila sa Fort Santiago.

"What is that thing even doing here in the Philippines?"

"Ewan ko," titig ni Risha sa sikat na pader. "Nakita ko na lang iyan dito nung namasyal ako. Kaya naalala ko na ipakita sa iyo, alam ko na matutuwa ka."

He stepped closer to the wall, careful not to step on its low metal fences.

Habang papalapit siya sa pader, may kakaibang pitik siyang naramdaman sa dibdib. Naalala niya noong bata siya, kapag nagkukwento minsan ang nanay niya. It was about his name.

His father named him after the Berlin wall because he wanted him to be as tough as a wall.

Like a Berlin wall.

Since then, he was named Lukas Verlin Mikhail.

As tough as a Berlin wall... but now I can see that the wall is...

A lump hardened on his throat before he finished his thought.

... broken.

And here in the Philippines.

Just like me.

****

AN: Wish granted, mfollower :) hahaha! Keep reading! And enjoy the story. Ihanda ang puso, ako na ang bahala sa softdrinks! <3

ANA xoxo

Pahabol: Not so sure anymore kung cowgirl pa ba ako o naging genie na, hahaha :D pwede both? hahaha :D