Lukas could not take his eyes off her while he was sitting.

Nang hindi niya kasi sinagot ang tanong ni Risha, nakailang ikot sila sa pagsayaw bago ito dahan-dahang bumitaw sa kanya. Nagyaya na ito na bumalik sa table nila, pero bago pa iyon nangyari, hinarang na sila ng mga pinsan nito. She introduced him to her cousins and Lukas excused himself after that. He just wanted to be alone, to have a drink or two just to relieve himself from the tension he felt.

Why are you doing this, Lukas? You already said it, you don't want a relationship with me. So why do we have to do that?

Napapikit na lang siya ng mariin nang maalala ang sinabing iyon ng dalaga.

Bakit nga ba? his fingers pinched between his eyes, lower to the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed tight. Bakit nga ba ganoon ang gusto kong mangyari? I meant nothing behind that request, right? I mean, this is our last day together so I figured...

Nagmulat na siya ng mga mata. Damn, Lukas. You seem to be so unsure about what you are really thinking.

Sinenyasan niya ang papadaang waiter at imbes na magpasalin ng alak, kinuha niya ang dala nitong bote ng brandy.

"Sir--"

"Let him," tapik ni Marcelo sa braso ng waiter.

Nag-aalangan man, binigay na ng patpating waiter ang bote ng alak kay Lukas. He poured himself some brandy as Marcelo occupied the seat next to him.

"Where is my princess?" tanong nito, nakangiti.

"With her cousins. Catching up with each other, I guess."

"Are you alright?"

Uminom muna si Lukas bago walang lingon na sinagot si Marcelo. "Yes, Sir. I am alright. This is your family reunion, after all. This celebration is all about your family, the togetherness, checking up on each other's lives."

"You know, boy," sinalinan na rin ni Marcelo ang sarili ng alak, "I'll be direct with you, my daughter is not getting any younger. As a father, I admit that I have my shortcomings. I mean, I have been unattentive with Risha. Being with her makes me feel like I am with a different person, with a stranger."

Lukas nodded. May clue na rin naman siya na ganoon ang sitwasyon ng mag-ama dahil nga sa hindi sine-save ni Risha ang cellphone number ni Marcelo. His eyes focused on Risha. Tumatawa ito habang kausap ang mga babaeng pinsan. Her wide mouth were open, looking too happy.

"I am also getting old, boy, I want someone to take care of my daughter. One guy who can give her all the attention and care that I haven't given her since she was a kid. Can you do that for me, Lukas?"

Napatitig na lang siya sa alak sa hawak niyang goblet. Tumaas ang sulok ng labi ni Lukas.

"I can't promise that, Sir," uminom na siya ng kaunti. 

"You have to promise me," giit nito. "Are you my daughter's man or not?"

Napapikit si Lukas. "I... I am."

"Then take care of my daughter," anito bago tinungga ang brandy.

"I promise to be there for her when she needs me."

Tinungga na rin ni Lukas ang alak. Because that's all I can do, Sir. That's all I can do after tonight. That's all I can promise.

"Great, boy," tawa ng matanda habang inaabot ang bote ng brandy. Sinalinan nito ang sariling kopita bago siya binalingan. "You want some more?"

"Yes, Sir, please," lingon niya sa tatay ni Risha bago inangat ni Lukas ang tingin. Ang mga mata ay nakatutok muli sa dalagang naka-tube na bluish silver gown na may slit ang palda na hanggang hita niya. Her long, platinum blond hair fell straight and smoothly on her back.

Sa pagkaka-side view ng babae, malayang napagmasdan ng kanyang mga mata ang perpektong kurba ng katawan nito.

Damn,  inom niya ng alak habang ang mga mata ay nakapako sa nakatawang dalaga.

"Sir," nakatitig pa rin siya kay Risha nang kausapin niya ito, "can we go home early?"

"Why?" halata ang pagtutol sa boses nito. "Minsan ko na nga lang makasama ang anak ko, maaga pa kayong aalis?"

"Hindi naman ho sa ganoon, Sir," lingon niya.

Sumalubong tuloy kay Lukas ang gulat nitong facial expression. "Marunong ka mag-Tagalog?"

"Uh... yeah, at nakakaintindi rin ho ako?"

"Fuck!" Marcelo threw his hands up. "Jamer said you're German!"

"I am," kunot-noo niya. "Half-Filipino rin po ako at nakakapag-Tagalog naman."

"That son-of-a-bitch. Minsan talaga sakit sa ulo namin ang Jamer na iyon, laging binu-bully ang Risha ko."

Lukas secretly rolled his eyes.

***

Pagkahatid sa kanila ng limo sa unit ni Risha, nauna na ang babae sa banyo para makaligo bago matulog. Lukas decided not to. He just took off his clothes and left nothing but his checkered boxers on. Then, he turned off the light and left the lampshades on.

Naka-bathrobe na lang si Risha nang lumabas ito ng kwarto.

"What a tiring night," tipid nitong ngiti sa lalaki.

"Yeah," he replied, watching her climb on her side of the bed.

Nagkumot na ang babae at pinatay ang lampshade sa bedside table sa tabi niya, naiwang bukas ang ilaw sa side ni Lukas. He dropped himself on the bed, scooting closer to Risha.

"Is this how our last day together is going to end, Risha?" he asked, seeing only her hair. Nakahiga kasi ng patalikod sa kanya ang babae.

"Yeah, with us sleeping on this bed," mahina nitong sagot.

"You know," he raised his hand, still hesitant to touch her, "we can do it for one last time."

"Do what?"

His hand remained in the mid-air, still undecided whether to touch her arm or not. Natatakot siya na baka kapag nahawakan ay hindi na niya ito bitawan pa. "You... you know what I mean."

"Ano nga iyon?" napilitan na itong pumihit paharap sa kanya. Tumama ang malamlam na ilaw ng lampshade sa mukha nito. "Ang sabi mo 'di ba, you are direct to the point because that's your attitude. At sa Germany, hindi pwede ang paligoy-ligoy."

A low chuckled escaped from his lips. Naaalala pa niya ang mga sinabing iyon nung nakisakay siya sa kotse ni Risha. Galing sila noon sa NBI at nakita pa niya roon si Jamer.

"Pero sabi mo nga," his hand caressed her cheek, pushing some of her hair strands on her back, "wala tayo sa Germany, nandito tayo sa Pilipinas."

"Ganito na lang," hawak nito sa kamay ni Lukas, kaya napigilan ni Risha ang paghaplos niya sa pisngi nito. "Lukas, now is you chance to tell me anything you want, ask any question you like."

"You can ask and tell me things too, Risha," patong niya ng isang binti sa hita ng dalagang nakatagilid ng pagkakahiga.

"Ikaw muna," titig lang nito sa kanya.

"Well..." inalis niya ang kamay mula sa pagkakahawak ni Risha at pinatong iyon sa kurba ng bewang niya, "what will you do after this night?"

"I will go to some white sand beach. Maybe on Acuaverde."

"Hmmm..." napapikit na lang si Lukas. "Why the beach?"

"To cheer me up. I want to feel the sun, babe." Natigilan ito kaya napadilat si Lukas. His eyes met her shocked gaze. "I.. I mean, Lukas."

He just smiled at her. For a woman with a bright, glowing personality, as bright as her platinum blond hair, the beach suits her. "Will you find... you know... some other guys?"

Tumango ito. "Of course. Hindi naman mawawala iyon, Lukas. I mean, nasabi ko na naman na--"

"I can always find another guy in case some guys never realize what I catch I am," he quoted from what Risha said on the first days of their meeting.

Napayuko na lang ito. "I said that?"

Kumunot ang noo niya dahil parang hindi sigurado ang babae tungkol doon. Hinawakan niya ito sa baba kaya umangat ang tingin nito sa mga mata niya. 

"You said that, liebe." He smiled bitterly. "And you are right about that. You have wide eyes that can see a person more than everyone else can. You have wide lips that conquer mine perfectly... wholly when we kiss. You glow brighter than sunlight it reflects on your personality, on your love for those old people at the home for the aged."

And he knew that she really saw him more than everyone else. She saw that he was not a romantic, that he was a boring person who burned all his years in military missions and trainings. Anong klase nga ba ng buhay ang tinahak niya? Bakit hindi niya maiwa-iwanan ang delikadong mundo na kanyang pinasok?

"But I am ugly. And you said I am lazy," mahinang tawa nito.

"Well, that's alright, nobody's perfect. And you are not ugly. At least, in my eyes, you have never been ugly."

At totoo iyon. Hindi naman niya napansin ang tila invisible nitong kilay o ang exaggerated na hugis ng mga mata at labi ng dalaga.

"Why are you saying these things to me?" yakap lang ni Risha sa sarili. "Pa-consuelo de bobo ba 'yan?"

"What do you mean with pa-consuelo?"

Umiling lang ito, nanatiling nakatitig ang mga mata kay Lukas habang matamlay na nakangiti. "Wala, Lukas Verlin Mikhail."

She mentioned his name as if she was reading it from his own gravestone. And for some reason, the thought of not seeing her the next day made him feel like he was going to be buried alive in his own grave for now. Or for life. Or forever. Whichever comes last.

He should leave. Lukas knew that it was the right thing to do. Maybe, Jose Rizal was right about leaving O Sei San. Dahil iyon ang nararapat. Kung hindi siguro iniwan ni Rizal si O Sei San... baka hindi na naging masaya ang babae, baka nabiyuda na ito kaagad at hindi nagkaroon ng mga anak.

Same with Risha. Kung hindi niya ito iiwanan, magdurusa lang ito. Alam ni Lukas sa sarili na tulad ng tatay ni Risha, hindi niya ito maaalagaan o mapagbubuhusan ng buo niyang atensyon. Bahagi siya ng German Army, ng NATO, at maraming kaakibat na responsibilidad ang posisyong hawak niya. Mahirap iwanan ang bagay na  matagal mo nang inaasam-asam, simula pa sa pagkabata, sa oras na napasakamay mo na ito. At ganoon ang nararamdaman ni Lukas para sa pagiging sundalo niya. It was what he had always wanted.

"Back to the topic," haplos niya sa mukha nito. "Since, you will be replacing me soon, can we do it for one last time? Can I own you before somebody else comes along?"

Because I am very sure, Risha, that no man will ever reject a woman like you. A woman who can easily take any man she wants, his attention first, then his heart. 

Yes. Lukas already realized something. Magiging katulad lang siya ng Berlin Wall. A part of him will be left in the Philippines by the time he returns to Germany.

And it will be his heart.

"Take advantage of our last night together. This will be the last time that you will feel me. This will be the last time that I will be giving you my attention," patuloy niya nang hindi ito sumagot.

Risha closed her eyes and smiled.

***

A.N.

With every ending comes a new story. Or is it a new chapter?