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the first time my eyes landed on her, i was lost in a world i'd never known of before. i always learnt about life through old photographs from the distancing past, but i never knew how to capture memories. the voices in my head stopped speaking. there weren't any thought tornadoes spiraling around the deserted cities, causing chaos to what could've been.

it was all so simple

until the exchange of words. which turned into the exchange of much more, eventually having to sell myself to the depths of a desolate hotel, just to gamble with my sanity to keep her from drifting out of control. manipulated by her emotional sleight of hand, i'd constantly obsess over her language of lies, yet a single text would lift me up, even if i was tied down to a thousand anvils.

but i was constantly warned

for she was a force to be reckoned with. i never listened and there came a time where i was told that the less i knew the better. i let it happen, sitting in a small room, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, otherwise known as norfolk. days of pure despair past me, but i couldn't change at all.

i failed to learn from my mistakes

so i let her hurt me over and over again. until i bled all the words i could possibly write about her, but it seemed like the poems would never end. knowing my consequences, i dived into death infested waters without hesitation. for a few months, i reigned joyous, under the illusion that i had become the king of the world, leading up to the moment i deciphered the true transcript, at last. i understood the magnitude of the mistake i could make if i planned to be with her longer. destroying more of myself each and every day. i conspired against her kingdom with my army of one.

i traversed the abyss

step by step, i walked out of her life and into something new. i became a brand new person, who carried the burden of his old mistakes. i realised, that the cosmos of music remained for me to discover and escape into, as it was a paradise of my own.