Me:Ladies and Gentlemen! May I have your attention?

Everyone: *continues to look down at their phones*

Me: *thinking* well screw you too! *talking* ANYWAYS! I have something I need to say to you all! It's a little bit rantish, but also involving some of your guys's OTPs.

Everyone: *paying attention*

Me: Okay good. Let's begin, with this really complicated presentation I made for the special occasion.

Everyone: *collective groan*

Me: BE QUIET AND LET ME TALK BECAUSE YOU ALL NEED SOME SENSE PUT INTO YOU!

Everyone: *shuts up*

Me: good

Let us actually begin. That was just the weird introduction saying how I feel most people writing EreMika fanfics are.

So, EreMika is the ship name of Eren x Mikasa. An understandable ship to say the least, there obviously is some chemistry between the two which could be said to be romantic feelings though I think we can all agree that Eren Jaeger doesn't realize it when anybody has a crush on him. So basically, right now I think it's one sided. I think that later on it'll be a thing just right now, Eren's a little too busy with all the titan stuff and killing crap.

Anyways, I ship it kind of hard. I like this ship and I see where people are getting it unlike a lot of the other ships in AOT. (I mean seriously, have you seen some shipping reaction books? There are some CRAZY ships in AOT that I seriously doubt anyone actually ships and made it just to make people upset.) Since I ship it kind of hard, I end up reading EreMika fanfictions. I like to think I'm a really nice person so if I think your fanfic is crap, I probably won't rant about how crap it is in the comments, and just silently in my head. I'm done with ranting in my head. I need to say it out loud so you call can see how crap some of your fanfiction really are!

So basically, if it's an EreMika fanficiton, then shouldn't it be the EreMika ship? To be frank, WHY THE HECK DO I FIND LOTS OF AREN (Eren x Annie) IN ALL OF THE EREMIKA FANFICTIONS I FIND! Like no joke, Eren is always really nice in the beginning and he seems fully committed to Mikasa and their relationship, but suddenly he decides to cheat on Mikasa with Annie... This is a reenactment of what I look like while reading these fanfics:

Me: Aw that's cute

-Time Skip-

Me: What the heck? Why is Eren going out with Annie all of a sudden?! I thought this was EREMIKA, if it's not then why the heck did they put EreMika in the freaking title?

-End of Reenactment-

You see, let's not even get me started on the grammar and the spelling and the punctuation in these fanfictions. If you're gonna make the fanfic not about what you said it's gonna be about, THEN AT FREAKING LEAST HAVE GOOD GRAMMAR! Then, if you have good grammar and punctuation, you're story won't be a piece of crap entirely. You can still save it! If your story ends up being about something other than what you said it was about, I will still consider your story a good one if it has good punctuation and grammar.

A couple of things I would like you to do:

1) please have paragraphs *begging on the ground* PLEASE

2) Capitalization of the "I"s I might be able to stand not having a capital at the beginning of the sentence, but it's gone too far when I is not capitalized while it's by itself.

3) Please use the right you're/your, there/their/they're, and the right too/to/two!

Just a few of the things I automatically notice while reading. The right tenses while writing also would be nice, but I understand sometimes the confusion. I would look at the book How To Fucking Write by someone who I can't remember and don't feel like looking it up (sorry). It's pretty simple. All you have to do is look it up in the search bar. If it's a book on grammar, then you found the right book. That book taught me how to use semicolons. No joke.

She doesn't really go into Paragraphs, so I thought I would:

a) you make a new paragraph each time a new person speaks Example:

Hanji said, "I took all of Levi's left boots so I could make sure he was all right, haha get it Eren?"

Eren tried out his poker face. He'd aquired the information Captain Levi had sent him to collect. He said, "I get the joke, Hanji! You do know that Levi said he'd kill whoever did it right?"

"Don't worry, Eren. Hanji won't have to worry about death for much longer!" Levi was suddenly behind them with a long metal pole in his hands. "I'M GONNA GET YOU SHITTY GLASSES!"

"Petra, help me!"

"Nope."

(Lol, if anybody reads Levi's Torture manual...)

b) you make a new paragraph when the topic has changed. Example:

The thought of all her friends' deaths was an unbearable subject for Jessica. She felt that the fact that she'd been the only one left alive had been turned into a knife; a knife that had cut straight into her soul. She cried and cried for the longest time, just thinking about her friends.

Then she thought of who she had been protecting. She realized that her friends had not died in vain, and that there was still something worth living for.

Do you see there? First she was thinking about her friends' deaths, and then she was thinking about who her friends had died protecting, making it need a new paragraph. That was actually kind of a bad example, but I don't feel like writing out a really long and complicated example for this one, just go read one of my stories to find out.

Good. Now, if you've read this, I do NOT want to see anymore of this writing:

"Hello Eren," Petra said. "Hello Petra-san! How is Erd? I hope he's feeling better." "He doesn't feel all that better. I guess now he knows not to say Sasha's food tasted awful in front of her. If that happens again, she'll probably put even more rotten food in his soup." "Yeah, remind me to never get Sasha mad."

DON'T DO IT! *puts epic glasses on* SmartRose14 OUT! PEACE!

Me: *runs back into room* I ALSO WANNA SAY THAT I BELIEVE THAT EREMIKA IS ARMIN'S SECRET OTP! OKay now I'm gone.