adjective

       • pleasant, attractive, kind, good, etc; particular, fastidious; delicately sensitive.

Connor gets it. He does.

He understands that Troye's past is not something easily left behind, that it's a part of who he is and how he does things and everything bad that's happened to him has also made him the incredible person that he is. He understands that Troye moves on faster than he does, that the only days he even thinks about the bad things in his past are the days where they come back to haunt him. He understands that Troye is beautiful, not broken, and that he deals with things differently.

Connor is the kind of man who has faith in miracles and buys lost boys coffee and Troye is the kind of man who compares the callouses on their hands and knows all the things love isn't. Connor knows that, even if he doesn't always understand it.

So he lets him deal with things how he deals with them. He lets him smile and kiss Connor and go out to fumble around on his piano, lets him stay up all night in his arms and spend all day staring at the business card still sitting on their bedside dresser. He lets him pretend nothing has changed, lets him pretend everything's changed, lets him fall apart on the couch and piece himself back together in the shower.

He spends two weeks letting Troye be Troye and trying hard not to think about where Troye came from, smiling back and kissing back and holding him as close as he always has. He doesn't worry when Troye doesn't talk to him about it, doesn't tell him how he's processing this new information. He's content in the knowledge that Troye is okay and healthy and he isn't going to crumble indefinitely at the slightest touch. Troye doesn't need him to tiptoe around him or constantly ask if he's alright or even hold him when he cries - he needs him to be as he always is and love him the same way he always has.

They're watching another movie, Bambi, seated on the couch together as Troye frowns at the baby deer prancing through the fields. He's slumped against Connor who's slumped against the armrest, playing with the hand of the arm thrown haphazardly over his shoulders. The movie's barely started, the mother deer still alive, but Troye keeps shooting him suspicious looks like he knows what's going to happen. Connor merely smiles softly, plants a kiss at his hairline, and lets him continue weaving their fingers together.

"I hate you," Troye declares, promptly after the gunshot rings out from the screen.

Connor laughs, pulling him closer as the movie progresses further. Troye's not having it, though, and leans away to flick the remote up and turn off the television. He whirls back towards Connor with an unimpressed expression, their legs still touching as he folds his fingers together in his lap.

"Come on, that's the best part," Connor sighs dramatically, casting him a forlorn look as he settles further back against the armrest. Troye rolls his eyes and smacks his leg with the back of his hand, curling up his lip in dissatisfaction. Leaning down in an attempt to kiss him, Connor's disappointed when Troye turns his head enough for his lips to land on his cheek instead. He looks far too satisfied with himself for Connor's taste.

"You're an asshole," Troye points out thoughtfully, but he can't fight the smile from his face for a moment longer. Connor smiles, tugging at his arm insistently and pointedly puckering his lips. Shaking his head, Troye finally shifts closer to Connor until he's leaned half over him, hand on the side of his neck as he pulls their mouths together.

Connor kisses back slowly, savouring the victory of sorts as his own hand comes up to tangle in the mess of Troye's hair. He draws him closer on instinct, pulling him into his lap until their bodies are pressed so close together he can almost feel the pounding of Troye's heart against his chest. His own beats just as hard, pumping blood through his body and love through his system. His hand finds Troye's stomach, the hard ridges of muscles flexing beneath his fingers, and he doesn't know how he could ever resist something so undeniably perfect.

[Removed sex scene]