The night that changed my life was the night the four of us spent at the Rainbow Lodge; I thought it would be a memorable night for us. And it was, but in ways I never imagined.

The lanes were lightless, and the footpaths were crowded with people; the kind of people you wouldn't want to bump into. The area had vulgarity written all over it, and it wouldn't take more than ten seconds for the people, who filled the area, to evoke discomfort in you. Prostitutes wore revealing Saris, with blouses that had deep-necks, exposing their cleavage, and painted their lips in shades of red lipstick that resembled blood. The dark eye-makeup, thick eyeliners and the strong scent of perfume stood out, glaringly; I wouldn't have even worn something as grand as what they did on my wedding day, I thought, as I cautiously walked on the dirty lanes that led me to Rainbow Lodge. As I walked past the gangs of women that crowded the area, I felt their eyes gape at me, as if the long-sleeved formal office-wear I sported was something I shouldn't have worn. With my eyes glued to the ground, I jostled through the crowd, hugging my handbag against my chest. Whistles trailed behind me, as I walked past overexcited, drunk men; I could feel my heart thud against my chest. A moment later, a man stood in front of me, blocking my way, and I looked up at him, hesitantly, and struggled to meet his eyes.

"How much will you charge for a night?", he questioned, studying me from head to toe with a filthy look on his face, and I looked away from him, as I felt my insides churn...in disgust. "I'm sorry, you're mistaken", I mumbled, looking to my sides, and tried walking away, but he blocked my path, again. "Okay, okay, not a whole night. Six hours?", he strived to crack a deal. "I said you're mistaken", I repeated, lowly. "Four hours?", he negotiated, getting on my nerves. "Okay, one minute", I breathed out, angrily, and unzipped my handbag. "That's more like it. Good girl. How much will you charge?", he questioned, jovially, tracing his finger on my face, and I fished a sharp knife out of my handbag, one that I carried from home to scare the biker. "How much do you want me to charge?", I asked him, calmly, and studied the knife in my hand, before looking up at him. "Move your hand away", I ordered him, pointing the knife at his face, which was flushed with fear. "Four hours? I'll stab you to death in two minutes!", I threatened him, through my gritted teeth, and he stumbled backwards, looking utterly terrified. "Move!", I barked and he staggered out of my path, as he wiped off beads of sweat from his forehead.

"What took you so long, Dityaa? We've been waiting for thirty minutes now!", Vaish nagged, the moment I neared them. "This area is disgusting. I cannot believe I agreed to do this. Why did you choose Rainbow Lodge?", Chanch whined. "Dude, I swear, I did not know that the area would be this dirty; it looked pretty decent, from the train. Plus, I was scared to confront the biker in the actual city side; he has a bunch of friends, who are as terrible as him, so I thought that if something goes wrong – we'll be doomed", I explained. "Hmm, it would be easier for him to save himself when he's in the Central of Mumbai. In a way, it's good we're out of the rush. At least, we won't run into the risk of facing the people who know us; if they catch us, we'll be doomed, for sure", Vaish supported. "Okay, but we'll finish it off quickly. Come on! People have been staring at us, and it's so awkward", Nash mumbled. "Where's he?", Chanch questioned, and I glanced at my wristwatch. "It's almost time. He should be here. I'll look for him outside", I answered. "We've booked a room; it is room number 303. We'll set things up, and hide in the bathroom, or somewhere. You know what to do, right?", Vaish looked at me, expectantly. "I do, but remember – no one comes out until I attack him with pepper powder", I reminded, and they nodded sincerely, with serious expressions on their face. "Why do you look so serious? Chill out, guys; we're going to beat someone up, but you're making it look like we're going for a war against Pakistan", I joked, and no one smiled, let alone laugh! "Chill, yaar, nothing will happen", I stressed, throwing my head back. "I don't know why, but I don't have a good feeling about this whole thing. We'll finish it off and leave soon. Please", Nash pleaded. "We shouldn't have chosen a lodge. Does Darshan know?", Chanch questioned. "No, he doesn't, and bear this in mind – he shouldn't find out. What happens in Rainbow Lodge, stays in Rainbow Lodge!", I warned them. "What? You haven't told him? Are you mad, Dityaa? What if he finds out?", Nash panicked. "Why are you panicking, Nash? Calm down. There are only two ways he can find out – number one) if he visits the lodge, himself, which won't happen for the next seven lives, or number two) if one of you tell him, and you won't, I'm counting on all of you", I said. "No, Dia. You should let him know, because if he finds out, later on, it'll be a disaster", Nash repeated. "It'll be a bigger disaster if he finds out now", I argued. "He'll take this to a different level and take legal actions. All of us will fall into the trap of a court-case, and trust me, none of us have the time to walk in, and out, of courtrooms. He'll create a big scene out of this!", I elaborated. "She's right, Nash", Vaish agreed, but Nash still looked unconvinced. "Why am I so uninvolved in all our conversations?", Chanch monotonously asked, lightening the seriousness in the atmosphere, and we smiled. "Oh, by the way, what do we name our mission?", I questioned, excitedly, clasping my hands together. "Mission, really? Shut up, and go look for him, Dia. I do not want to spend too long here", Nash chided, lightly. "You're impossible! Go away, Dia!", Chanch exclaimed, and pushed me away.

I walked towards the main-road, searching for the biker, and while I stood still to my ground, my iPhone vibrated in my hand, provoking me to look down at it; a message from Darshan flashed on the lock-screen. Within seconds, I unlocked my iPhone and read through the message, in impatience.

Darshan: I'm sorry I lied about the meeting; I didn't know why I did that. I cannot reason that; I'm just so sorry.

Darshan: I am not having it easy from the past few days. There is A LOT going on in my studio. I didn't talk about it with you, because there's nothing you can do, and I didn't want to burden you with my problems because you're having a hard time, anyways. I overreacted this morning, and I'm sorry I did.

Darshan: Don't take it otherwise, but please do not meet me for the next 10 days, or so. It is important for me to spend some time with myself, for a while. I need my space. I hope you'll understand :)

It was hard – indescribably hard – to let his series of text message sink in. It did something painful to my heart, but despite ocean of emotions I drowned in in a matter of a moment, I was aware that I had to respect the choices he made.

'Hi. Don't be sorry; all of us lose it at times, so I guess that's acceptable. I know I cannot do anything to ease your hardships in the industry, but I'll listen to you; don't think that you're burdening me, because you are not. I know you know people, who are wiser than me, but if you need someone to talk to right in the middle of the night – I'm one text away, count on me with this. I should have been understanding this morning, but I wasn't, as always. I'm so sorry for everything I did and said; I forget about limits at times. I do not know what you're going through, but I hope it gets better and it will get better, don't lose hope. Take your time. I'll stay away. Take 10 days, or 20, I don't care. But don't forget to take care of yourself. Text me whenever you need to talk. Or simply, call me. I'm here. ALWAYS', I messaged him back, five minutes after, standing in the middle of a bustling road.

Darshan: Thank you. I love you.

'More', I texted back and went offline, because I felt I was talking to a stranger.

I wanted to curl up into a ball, underneath a thick blanket, and cry my heart out until I couldn't feel a thing anymore. I thought I was strong, but all it took was one person to prove me wrong. It was hard to stay strong and wear a brave face, when my insides crumbled down and tore apart. I showed the world, and him, that nothing bothered me, but within me crashed an ocean that could swallow everyone to death.