I heard a loud shriek but I ignored it and snuggled more into my pillow, continuing my tranquil slumber but then something struck me, what if someone just murdered a person in this suite and gonna leave it here, framing me for the homicide?

There was no way I would let myself be arrested and live in a prison where there wouldn't be any coffee. I groaned and stood up from my bed, sauntering towards the door.

Opening the door, I found the living room vacant. I glanced around in tumult.

"Please tell me I didn't lose my virginity to you." I heard Orson's wailing and suddenly, I got remembered of last night's evocation. I strode towards Orson's room and snorted seeing their states. They looked like two frightened kittens. With Orson trying to cover himself, using the blanket and Clavicus clutching his head.

"Check your social media accounts and you might get the answer of your current state." I snickered and they both gazed at me, appearing to be petrified.

"Please tell me we didn't have sex last night. I didn't want to lose my precious virginity in a drunken state." Orson cried out with teary eyes, his lips formed in a pout. Clavicus ignored us and started to frantically search his phone.

"Dumbass, you are still wearing pants and your belt is unopened. Have some common sense for fuck sake, Orson." I retorted and rolled my eyes at him. He just huffed and peeked down then sighed in relief before grinning.

"I am still a virgin, guys!" He cheered jovially and I scoffed. Clavicus gestured to be quiet while going through his phone. Orson just pouted and pulled the blanket more over him while staring at Clavicus's phone. I heard the song from last night playing and it appeared that both of their souls left their bodies for a second, roamed in hell for a bit, then in heaven, asking God what sin had they done to deserve this before coming back to earth.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What will people think of me now? How did we even get this drunk?" Clavicus grumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose. Orson looked like he would pass out anytime soon.

"I didn't even drink anything there except for the drink in you guys' booth," Orson whined and scratched his head. Wait! Both of the beverage that they drank was given by Lauren, what kind of fifty shades of Lauren was going on here?

"Oh also, Clavicus? You called Orson Daddy and apparently, you find his ass big." I smirked at them while Orson gazed at Clavicus in complete aghast before standing up with the blanket tightly wrapped around him.

"Stay away from me, you predator!" Orson screeched before running to the bathroom and Clavicus just grunted before banging his head against a pillow, ahh such a sight for sore eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I entered the venue where the ball was held, I was instantly spellbound by its interior design. I had to admit, they did a great job at finding such an astonishing place.

(A/N: sush! We will just pretend it exists in the Maldives 💀)

As I sauntered around, I groaned internally seeing so many people. I discerned a waiter passing by with a tray of champagne. I paused him and took a glass then gulped down a long sip, I needed to be less sober to tolerate this hell.

Now I had to find a bitch named Lauren and ask her if she thought I was Anastasia to her Christian Grey because of the games she was playing with me. Okay, why did I always have to bring fifty shades in my every thought? I needed help, yeah right, it wasn't like you didn't need it way before and for more adequate reasons.

I let out a sigh and inquired where she was from one of her friends before making my way to her dressing room. I didn't bother to knock on the door and just barged into her room.

Lauren was sitting alone in a chair, wearing her earrings. She wore the gown that she brought yesterday. She gazed at me through the mirror in front and smiled innocently.

"You look entrancing as always. I already knew Verona's choice will suit you well." Lauren beamed, turning around. I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms, leaning against the wall.

"Cut the crap and tell me why did you drug our drinks yesterday, Lauren?" I inquired her with a nonchalant expression. She didn't even seem to be fazed by my query, as if she knew it was going to happen.

"That's what you get for getting closer to my best friend. What's mine is mine." She exclaimed with a louring smirk and I raised my eyebrows at her in disruption and she continued.

"I know about the Cole Knight incident. You didn't need to do what you did. I am her best friend. I was supposed to defend her, not a fucking self-centered bitch." She howled at me and it finally dawned over me, this bitch was jealous of me for being the Knight in the shining armor to her best friend.

"Seriously? Where do you think we are in currently? Kindergarten?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes while she shot me a glare. What the fuck is wrong with people? Even helping people made me self-centered apparently.

"Listen to me, you little identity crisis bitch. I neither care about your sidekick nor about ya. I didn't help her, I punished that bastard. So be rest assured that I ain't here to play toddler games with you." I sneered and she was seething in resentment. I snorted seeing her expression and turned around then left the room. I could have heard something shattering, oh that must have been her self-esteem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I ambled down the stairs, I sensed someone's gaze over me, I glanced around to find Orson staring at me with a smile of endearment. I snubbed it and cleared my throat while making my way on the opposite side of his. I settled down on my assigned table.

Suddenly, the music began to play as Lauren and Jerome walked down the stairs, their arms intertwined and a smile of sheer contentment was designed on their face. Unwittingly, I felt a splash of joy for my friend. For even an abrupt moment, I was happy for him. Yet an embitter agony was embarking from my heart as I momentarily glanced over Orson's way and found him staring at them with the same bittersweet smile, we both knew happy endings weren't made for us.

I had let out a sigh and regain my posture, keeping on my usual expression of insouciance. I yawned slightly as Lauren and Jerome were conveying sappy speeches to one another, I should have brought my headphones. If I was going to hell, God would have numerous ways to torment my soul, all He had to do was play a sappy and cringey speech of couples, and done! My soul would be crying its ass off out of pain.

Soon the host proclaimed that everyone had to come for a waltz. I grunted and rolled my eyes when out of nowhere, a hand was in front of me.

"May I have this dance?" Clavicus entreated with a gallant smile and I snorted, gazing up at him while sneering.

"Didn't you danced enough yesterday, Clavicus?" He just rolled his eyes at me and scoffed while awkwardly clearing his throat.

"Can we not talk about it? And I am just trying to save your ass, do you want after every few seconds a random creep to ask you out for the dance?" He exclaimed and raised his eyebrows at me. Okay, but he was right though. I sighed afflictedly before getting up. I took out my sanitizer and poured a drop on his palm.

He rolled his eyes at me while rubbing his hands together. He then offered his hand again and I placed mine on it with a sigh. We strolled towards the dance floor where Lauren and Jerome already were dancing, along with other pairs. Clavicus maintained a distance as we began to waltz together.

"Lilith?" He called out and I raised my eyebrows at him while we swayed our bodies to the rhythm of the song.

"Thanks for everything." He smiled tenderly at me and I frowned at him out of confusion. Why was he thanking me? But before I could question him, he twirled me, and all the people were exchanging partners.

A familiar aroma engulfed me as I felt someone's hand on my waist and I glanced up to find a blushing Orson. He was peeking down as we danced. I rolled my eyes at his bashful behavior. The song also had been changed. Ironically, 'I was made for loving you' by Ed Sheeran was playing.

"A dangerous plan, just this time
A stranger's hand clutched in mine
I'll take this chance, so call me blind
I've been waiting all my life
P

lease don't scar this young heart

Just take my hand" The song played and Orson hummed to it softly. We made eye contact and there was a longing look in his eyes as he stared down at me. I deterred from the contact and tried to widen the gap between us as much as I could. He held my hand in a delicate grip as he swirled me across the floor before pulling me onto his chest slightly. I gazed anywhere but at him. I felt him leaning to my ears.

"I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you" He whispered the lyrics into my ears and then leaned back, a demure smile gracing on his lips. I couldn't have helped but felt my heartbeat rising as I finally made eye contact with him. Before I could have reacted, suddenly someone collided against Orson, making him thrust forward against me. I gasped and heard the sound of something breaking.

Once we were stable, I quickly pulled away from him and glanced behind to find an apprehensive waiter, quivering as he stared down. Orson turned around and started to inquire him warily.

"Hey buddy, are you okay? Did you get any hurt? And don't come near the glass." Orson avowed to the waiter and he gaped at him, I snorted seeing his reaction, typical Orson! Always thinking about others first.

I was still overwhelmed from the earlier incident, so without paying them any mind, I turned away and left the dance floor. I needed some fresh air and a moment away from everyone, especially him.

As I trudged towards the exit door, my dress stuck to something. I sighed exasperatedly and glanced to find it adhered to a table's corner. Fortunately, no one was sitting here. While I was tugging my dress, suddenly I perceived a notification sound. I gazed at the table and discerned someone left their phone open. I was about to shrug it off when I detected something on the screen.

Wait, what? Wasn't it the pictures of my medicines? I picked up the phone and started to go through the chat in front. I didn't care that I was invading someone's privacy, I just cared about finding why my medicine pictures were here.

~The Text~

Me:

Can you tell me what these medicines are for?

Dr. Smith:
These seem to be Symbayx, a type of antidepressant called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) used to treat depression caused by bipolar disorder or TRD.

Me:
Can you please be specific about which disorder it could be? I desperately need to know.

Dr. Smith:
I can't say for sure now as I haven't met that person yet but I will see what I could do, Orson.

~End~

My fingers clenched tightly around the phone as I was reading through the chats. They were conversing about me and my medications. What was more enraging that they were guessing what disorder I could have had.

"Lilith-h, I c-can explain-" I ceased his stammering midway as I turned to him with a stoic expression. He was shell-shocked, to say the least. I was struggling to keep my raging indignation in control. So it wasn't a nightmare, I truly had a panic attack that night and he was there too.

I managed to keep an unconcerned expression and threw the phone on the table before going out, without sparing him a glance. I could have heard his implores from the distance yet I refused to stop. Tears were streaming down my eyes, making my field of vision blurry. I didn't even know where I was scurrying to. I felt the same pain of betrayal again after so many years and it was just as scourging as it used to be.

I felt someone grabbing my arm and making me stop at a halt.

"Lilith please listen to me for once, I beg you." Orson entreated and I turned to face him teary-eyed. Yet my nose was flaring in anger. I grabbed his collar and shook him.

"How could you? How did you fucking had the audacity to invade my privacy like that?" I bellowed at him and for the first time, he didn't seem frightened, rather he was ashamed. He hung his head low and I continued.

"You are just like the others! A fucking hypocrite in the appearance of a saint. Didn't you ever think twice before hiding from me the fact that I had a panic attack that night? And not only that, you even fucking took pictures of my medications and consulted a doctor without my permission." I pushed him back, making him startled. He looked at me with an anguish expression.

"I got scared seeing you in such a state that night, okay?" He conceded and I scoffed at his statement.

"So what? Does that gives you the right to interrogate about my medicines to a doctor under my nose?" I interjected with a sneer. He sighed and was about to say something when I ambled closer to him while looking him in the eye.

"You still consider me your work of charity, don't you, Mr two goody shoes? Even in high school, you used to be with me just out of pity." I quipped, leaning close to his face, and let out a mordant smirk. His face instantly twitched up in an aggrieved countenance.

"Watch your words, Lilith. Just because I always jovially condone your derisive ways, doesn't mean I will let you tarnish our friendships and my feelings." He seethed coldly at me and I was slightly taken aback by his abrupt animosity but I was quick to conceal it. I snorted, rolling my eyes, and applauded for him.

"What a cinematic scene we have here huh!" I derided and cackled up. He just closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and tugged his hair.

"Don't you fucking tryna sugarcoat stuff, Orson. We both knew the reality, I was just your fucking charity case. Lilith Valentine: the girl with an atrocious father and a psychotic mother." I articulated with tears streaming down my eyes unrestrained. Orson's face softened up and an instant rue flashed in his eyes. He tried to reach out but I scurried away.

"That time you were trying to fix me and heal my vicious scars. And now too, you are fucking trying to fix my callous psyche. Will you just stop sympathizing and mend me? I don't fucking need your pity!" I screeched and pulled down my hair harshly.

Orson sauntered to me and made me glance at him. His eyes were just as teary and in agony as mine.

"It was never pity, L. And it never will be. It was love. I fucking loved you back then and I still love you now, if not more. For 10 years, I had to master the art of fake smile because I forgot what real happiness was ever since I got your letter about you running away and for me not to ever contact you again." He whispered in between his sobs while he rested his forehead against mine as we stared into one another's tearful eyes.

It was taking everything in me just not to give in to my urges and breakdown in his arms. Scream to him about how my nights were sleepless because of those nightmares, how my soul was utterly drained out from depending on those medicines.

But I knew once I did, I wouldn't be able to go back to my callous ways again. And I wasn't audacious enough to face my pain head-on. I had to be aloof to numb out my afflictions.

I pulled away from him and wiped my tears hastily. Then cleared my throat before I beheld at him nonchalantly.

"Treatment resistance depression. There you go, tell your doctor, his guesses were right about me" I asserted expressionlessly to him and turned around then strode to the exit gates. I got into the cab in front and closed the door with a thud.

"Take me to any bar nearby," I exclaimed and let out a sigh before my tears again started seeping from my eyes.

Why did my life have to be so fucked up?

~Flashback~

I heard a scream from downstairs. I got out of my room and peeked downstairs. The sight in front of me was too habitual for me. He was thrashing her ferociously as always and she took it as an ideal wife, at least that was what she proclaimed. I grimaced as he punched her in the face.

He didn't have any clemency in himself, at least I didn't witness any compassion in him since the time I had the sense to distinguish between wrong and right. Even her baby bump which was on full display didn't seem to melt his diabolical heart. So was it okay to be this callous and barbaric?

I didn't know the answers but I desired to be this apathetic like him one day when I become an adult so that I would never feel any emotions like pain.

A sob escaped from my mouth as he shoved her to the ground and was about to kick her in the womb.

"Please dad, don't do it. The baby will die." I cried out and he eyed me with his usual cold gaze before glaring at her.

"Tell this bitch that I am not her father and show what's her place in this house." He spat out as he crouched down and squeezed her cheeks together in a death grip. She screeched in pain and rapidly nodded her head to his every word.

"I love it when you are obedient." He smirked callously at her and spat on her face before standing up then left the house. I had let out a breath of solace. I glanced at her to find her staring blankly at the ceiling. Seeing her in agony made my heart ache too. I slowly walked down the stairs and took a first-aid kit from the drawer nearby.

Sitting beside her, I soaked the cotton in some antiseptic, and as I was about to clean her wounds, she shot me a glare and slapped me hard across my face.

"He is my husband, even if the baby dies, I don't care! You don't fucking get to stop him, understood you little fat whore?" She shrieked and clutched my hair from behind, tugging it tightly. I didn't bother to pull away as I had endured worse than this. I focused on sanitizing her wounds when she slapped me again, making me feel the same burning sensation.

"All this is happening because of you! He never used to be like this. He always used to treat me like a fucking queen. But after you were born, everything was ruined. You wrecked my life. I fucking abhor you." She choked out a sob and I let my tears fell too while I cautiously dressed her injuries, ignoring the scars in my psyche by her words.

Was I truly such a curse?

~End of flashback ~

"Are you okay, dear?" I felt someone shaking me lightly but I snubbed it while I sobbed out loudly. I just couldn't have controlled my tears no matter how much I tried. The anguish was prodigious, to say the least. It was as if I was reliving those torments all over again.

The seat beside me deepen and someone pulled me in their embrace. I didn't bother to jerk away, rather I clutched them tighter and I cried my heart out. They patted my head while whispering soothing words to me but I knew all these were going in vain as my agony was incurable.

"It is okay. Everything would be fine soon." They solaced me and from the voice of them, I could have distinguished that it belonged to an elderly man. I gradually leaned back and found the kind-looking man staring at me in forlorn. I evaded my gaze from his and stared out while wiping my tears.

"It never was, is, and nor will be." I bewailed and he offered me a tissue which I took and cleaned my face while sniveling in between.

"After every storm, there is sunrise. Don't be in despair." He comforted and I chortled up for a moment then shook my head before smiling dolefully at him.

"When the storm is belligerent, it does such destruction that is irredeemable." I handed him his money and got off the car. He smiled at me and I mirrored his expression before striding towards the pub.

I had let out a deep breath and settled down on a stool. The bartender took in my disheveled state but remain unfazed as if he was used to seeing people in such a way that wasn't startling. People usually get intoxicated either to feel ecstasy or numb.

"What can I get for you, Ms?" He queried politely and took out a fancy glass. I sighed and shrugged while twirling a hair strand mindlessly.

"Something strong enough to make me forget my existence." I sighed and he nodded before starting to make my beverage. He then handed it to me and I gulped it down in one go before gagging to its bitter taste. I felt like my inside was burning but I shunned it and gestured for another. I just wanted to numb everything out, at least for tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had lost reckoning how many glasses I drank but I knew I was inebriated more than I should have been, especially in an unknown country with no one familiar around me. But I didn't care. I squinted my eyes to discern as my vision got blurry. A subtle yet melodious sound was playing. I could have perceived someone playing the piano in front. There weren't many people currently as it was quite late.

After finishing my remaining drink, I ambled towards the piano, stumbling and staggering in between my steps. I settled down beside the woman playing and she offered me a courteous smile before standing up, letting me have the piano to myself.

I blinked at it and giggled heedlessly to myself before gradually placing my fingers over the keys and start playing them, just the way he had taught me.

"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you." I sang softly and people started to gather around, listening to me attentively. Some even cheered.

"No, I don't wanna fall in love
No, I don't wanna fall in love
With you
With You" I sang louder as if trying to convince myself through these lyrics, but begrudgingly, I knew what the truth was.

"What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you" I played the keys savagely while singing to the tune. As I glanced up, I found Orson staring at me in anguish with tear-stained cheeks and puffed eyes as if he had been crying for hours.

"No, I don't wanna fall in love
No, I don't wanna fall in love
With you
With you" I sang the last lyrics, not breaking our eye contact. He knew I wasn't just singing, I was imploring myself.

People applauded, making Orson and I startled. He hastily wiped his tears and strode to me. He then offered me his hand and without demurring, I gave in. He cautiously made me stand up and I lurched slightly, he instantly held me tight, and we lumbered towards the exits.

Neither of us dared to break the silence nor we wanted to. In between, we would have just endeavored to wipe our stubborn tears. Shortly, we were in front of his car. He was about to open the passenger seat door when it started to rain heavily. He cursed under his breath and quickly opened the door. But I pulled away from him, stumbling slightly.

"L. Please get inside. You are getting drench and you will catch a cold." Orson exclaimed warily while he got drenched in the rain with me. I didn't respond and slowly pulled him in a hug, resting my cheek against his chest, and listened to his rapid heartbeat. I felt him tensed momentarily before leaning on the car and embracing me tighter while the raindrops teetered over us. For even ephemerally, I was in tranquility.

"Stop loving me, Orson. I am unfixable, you will get nothing but another heartbreak from me." I whispered and he sighed, kissing the top of my head and patted my back gently.

"I can't nor want to. I rather live in misery while loving you, L." He lamented and I glanced up at him while slightly shivering from the cold breeze. He smiled solemnly at me and removed a hair strand from my face.

I slowly stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck while he stared at me in tumultuous. Pressing my cold lips against his, I started to kiss him softly. He was at first taken aback and stayed still for a moment before pulling me closer and deepen the kiss. Our lips moved together at a slow pace, reminiscing one another's warmth.

In my mind, I only prayed that I was intoxicated enough to forget every occurrence of tonight.

AUTHOR 'S NOTE:
4449 WORDSSSSSSSSSS!!! WHY DO ALWAYS HAVE TO WRITE SO MUCH?🥲 Anywaysssssss we are slowly slowly revealing many things now😌 I hope my earlier readers who were annoyed by Lililth's behavior, now finally understood that why she is like that. But we have yet many more things left to discover 😏 btw I am sorry if some of the scenes were cringy, especially the kissing one😅

Anyways love y'all ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️