Then you kissed me━ I felt
hot wax on my forehead.
I wanted it to leave a mark:
that's how I knew I loved you.
Beacuse I knew I wanted to be burned, stamped
to have something in the end━

She's six years of age, and she tries to ignore the taunts behind her back, tries to not look anyone in the eyes, fearful of the fury, of the hate, of the disgust in them that might burn her. Shame curls at her chest, bitter and sharp as her nails dig into her palm, she is not what they say of her. 

She's ten years of age, keens wobbly and cheeks crimson as her eyes burn, fear gripping at her heart as the darkness seemed to swallow her. She couldn't breathe, broken gasps leaving her bruised body as she willed herself not to cry, not to show weakness to the likes of them just like mother had asked her to. She's ten years of age, the darkness seemed to tighten around her and she bit her lip hard enough to bleed so that she didn't scream for help when the last candle burned out. 

She's ten and seven years of age, as a scream rips through her throat, guttural and raw. She's more animal than human, as she dives her sword into the man, fury burning in her. It's white and burning as it floods her veins, it's hard to breathe and there are tears brimming in her eyes. Her hands are calloused, nails broken and skin bruised.

All she knows now is the fury that burns inside her, something wild clawing at her as a red haze clouds her mind. When it clears, she's surrounded by bodies bruised and broken at odd angles, the air has a metallic tang to it and she can feel fear slowly consume her.

So, she does the only thing she can think of and she runs.

The thing is though, for creatures like her, forever is a long time. How long is she willing to run? How long is she willing to be something to be hunted?

She doesn't know how long it takes. How many years blended into days, how many days blended into seconds, all she knows is that she became the very thing she had told herself she would not.

There's the taste of metal in her mouth and her lungs burn for air. She can feel the heat from the blaze licking at her skin, can feel the ache in her shoulder and the fabric of her top sticking to her skin. Rage curls in her chest, tighter and tighter as she takes each step.

 Something in her howls, claws at her chest and whispers for her to devour devour devour.

She's bleeding, blood coating her mouth and hands and dripping onto the ground below.  She's aching, bruises in shades of pinks and purples and blues bloom on her skin and she feels as if a noose is wrapped around her throat, blocking the air and taking her under so the other can come out. She's trembling, nails digging into her skin as red taints her vision. 

Fury curls at her chest, burning and overwhelming. 

Her hands are trembling, eyes wide and giggles fall from her lips. It's a maniacal thing, her laughter as she stalks towards the last of... his people. . She can feel it come out, slowly, every so slowly consuming whatever remains of her.  

A monster, the man chokes out, throat raw from screams but the fury in his eyes is still burning. rotten, he brands her as he looked at her, bruised skin and red-coated fingers, still as fearless as ever, still as foolish. An abomination, for the scars on her back and the hollowness in her eyes. 

She doesn't fight it this time, doesn't fight against the pull, lets the thing consume her wholly and━

Her mouth tastes of blood and she can feel bile rise up her throat.

Her body is still trembling, coated in blood and grim and she can smell the flesh burning away. She can taste the iron on her tongue and feel the flesh on her teeth. The scream echoes through her mind like a broken record. She can feel the numbness slowly spread through her like rot, taking over her and leaving her immobile as she started at the massacre.

Satisfaction curls in her chest, the thing in her purrs as she feels the blood dry against her skin. 

(He hadn't been wrong)

She is the very thing hiding in the shadows, waiting for her moment to strike. She is an abomination, labelled such from the moment she was born, a frail thing of skin and bones. She was not supposed to exist, not when her eyes are too hollow to be something alive. She's rotten, with her too-sharp smile and this uncontrollable hunger inside of her that wants and wants and wants.

It wants to devour the world whole.

It wants to make sure that not a trace of her brother remains.

No matter who she breaks along the way.

 (Even if it's the green-eyed boy that she aches to hold)

KERES // THE FALLEN

JASON TODD // THE SOLDIER

ANOAS // THE RIGHTEOUS

disclaimer

I do not own any of the characters mentioned here barring my own. Anything familiar does not belong to me, it belongs to DC Comics and their team of writers, I only own my original characters and their plotlines. This book has been rated mature due to its language, graphic descriptions of violence, blood and gore, body horror, toxic portrayal of relationships and a few other triggering subjects. Be careful while reading.

note.

live footage of me rn:

welcome, once again, to a complete rewrite of caged cries called 'atonement' because I'm indecisive and can not stick to the fact that I said that I would not republish this book again. Also, I heard 28 reasons by seulgi and that album screams keres and jason so i just had to. 

This time around, the fic features double the angst, double the horror and double the emotional trauma and something called character development that my past self was unfamiliar with. This book is far darker than the original one and be sure to read the warnings before proceeding further.

and look, Keres is just quirky alright? She just wants to get her revenge and kiss jason on her off time but the universe hates her and communication is not her strong suit. She is my baby and i will defend her till the day i die. She can do no wrong, she's just a sad, pathetic little girl high on rage, love her please <3333

I am very much not a tim drake enjoyer so he will not be mentioned here because if he was, it would not have been in a good light. This book does not have a proper timeline when it comes to the DC universe as it is a mix and match of canon elements I like and shit I made up along the way, so some in-universe things might be unfamiliar.

these three absolutely gorgeous moodboards by chainbrekker !!

the cover was inspired by bayports