Ari,

It's been five days and I'm already miserable and missing you terribly. The royal family is about as stuck up as I expected them to be, but Prince Ross has shown me great kindness and I think I have made a few friends here. I don't think I'll ever adjust to the drama 34 (now 30) girls in one room can create; I'm constantly worried I'm going to get my eyes scratched out with perfectly manicured nails one of these days. And don't even get me started on all the glamour! I feel like a prized show dog doing tricks for all the cameras (and I don't think I'm doing them very good). I wish I could tell you all about what life is like here, but I have to get to lunch soon and then my entire afternoon is going to be spent getting ready for a special dinner with delegates from all the provinces. Can you believe it? That's five hours of hair and makeup!!

The food is amazing though! I'm sending some home with this letter, and Sjin can buy you some of this stuff with your new identification papers if you find anything you like. Send my warm regards to him and let me know how the house hunt is going. You better be keeping up on your homework, it's so important, now more than ever, that you learn as much as you can and keep your grades up. I want you to tell me all about the new school and what your books and classes and teachers are like; don't skimp on the details! 

I love you little brother, 

Atlas. 

I folded up the letter and sealed it in a white envelope. I wanted nothing more than to see him and talk to him face to face; he was always such a good listen when I was stressed and needed to vent. I called over a butler who took my package and letter away to where ever they processed mail, and then shut myself in my room. All three maids were away somewhere working on my dress for tonight, so I had some peace and quiet for at least a few moments. 

I fell back on the bed, sighing audibly. I was exhausted and it wasn't even noon. I curled up on my side, not caring that my curls fell out of their hold on the top of my head. I wanted to cry, but I knew that it would only make my head hurt and disrupt my day even more, so I chose instead to stare blankly at the wall, feeling empty. 

I wasn't even exaggerating during that fight with Prince Alexandre. I felt like the number eight was carved into my skin, visible for everyone to see. Most of the girls treated me different, the King and Queen definitely looked down towards me, and Prince Alexandre hated me for it. I didn't know why I was still here. I would go back to fighting to make up for the money if it meant I didn't have to feel like such vile trash anymore. 

I stood up suddenly and walked over to my mirror where I had taped pictures onto the edges. I looked at the one of my mother and I, her soft curls and bright blue eyes that matched the little girl sitting in her lap. We were in my father's office, I think we had surprised him with a birthday cake that afternoon, because I had a party hat on. 

"What am I doing mom?" I whispered, putting my forehead in my hand and plucking the picture out of it's taped corners. I fell back on the bed, bending over the picture. A sob escaped my lips before I managed to catch myself, and suddenly I was sobbing uncontrollably into my hands. "This isn't who I am," I told her, wishing I could talk to someone; anyone who would listen to me and actually care about an eight's feelings. 

I took a deep breath and sharply exhaled, but I continued to cry. 

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I picked at my plate, the thought of food only making me feel nauseous. I remembered to keep my back straight and my chin up, but I didn't raise my eyes from my plate for the entire meal. 

I hadn't talked to Prince Ross since our sort of date, but rumor around the women's room is that he's been making his rounds with all the girls. It was all any of the selected could talk about; who had gotten a date, how they got it, and who was next. Albany bragged about Prince Alexandre taking her to a private dinner yesterday, which explained why they were both missing last night. Whenever she talked she would always glance over at me to gauge my reaction, which annoyed me but made her even angrier because all I had to do was put on my fighting face and it was like a curtain was dropped in between us. I could tell it really bothered her, because she was cunning and smart and able to read everyone else in the room. She and Prince Alexandre deserve each other; I hope he picks her so he has to deal with that for the rest of his life.  

I don't know what I did to bother Albany so much, but she acted as if I were her only other competition. She always picked on my caste, no matter what we might be talking about, and she would try anything to make me tick. I brushed off most of her empty insults and pretentious bragging; it's too bad she's wasting all this energy on me when I'm just here for the food and money. 

My inner monologue was interrupted by the sound of stamping feet, and suddenly four lines of guards were steaming into the room and encircling us. 

The royal family all jumped up and pushed their chairs back, still as graceful as ever. 

"To the back of the room ladies," King Corvax called over the gasps and whispers. 

I stood up and did as I was told, passing by a guard just as he said "They're already inside the walls, Your Majesty." 

The three princes ran over to the windows and started pulling down heavy-looking metal shades. I ran towards the opposite end of the room and jumped up to grab the handle hanging discretely under the drapery and slammed it down. Without even thinking I ran towards the next window, stopping just in time to see a brick fly through the window in front of me. Some of the girls screamed as glass shards glittered down onto the floor.

Prince Ross shouted my name, running over to pull me away by the waist as Prince Christoph and Prince Alexandre hauled the shade down and then jumped back as something heavy slammed against the metal.

"Are you okay?" Prince Ross breathed, letting me go but keeping a hand on the small of my back as he ushered me to the group of girls in the corner.

"I'm alright your majesty," I said, clenching my fists to stop them from shaking. Adrenalin was pumping through me, the thought of nearly getting bludgeoned with a brick making me anxious and flighty; I felt like I had just run a marathon. 

I stopped out of ear shot of the girls, who were quaking in a huddled group, gasping and flinching every time the window shutters banged with something thrown against them. The king and queen were talking to a guard on the other side of the room, but both of them were calm and composed. Would I be able to keep so collected like that someday?

I shook myself of the thought immediately; I wasn't in this competition, and I would never need to act like the queen in this type of situation.

Prince Ross was still looking me over as if I were hurt, but Prince Christoph broke us out of our own thoughts. "Many of the girls are saying they want to go home," he said quietly to his brother, seemingly not bothered that I could hear them.

"Let them," Prince Alexandre said as he joined our group, "We don't need wives that cannot handle a rebel attack." He noticed me for the first time as he said it, and I felt my chest swell with pride that I wasn't one of those cowering girls; at least he respected me in this regard.

"Show a little compassion Alex," Prince Christoph hissed, "This is their first attack, they didn't grow up with it like we did." 

"How many want to go home?" Prince Ross asked, his brows knitting together, "What are we going to do?"

All three of the looked at me, and I flinched in startled realization that I was a part of this conversation and not just listening in. 

They held their posture straight and confident, but I could see it in their eyes that they were scared and overwhelmed too. They probably haven't experienced this much female emotion in their entire lives.

I tried to think. The girls were all terrified and thinking irrationally right now; they couldn't be in their right minds to make such a drastic decision. "Um, you should probably go talk to them, calm them down. They need their princes to assure them that they are safe," I instructed, thinking about what I would do with Ari if he was feeling scared and vulnerable, "If they see you aren't panicking then they won't have anything to worry about. I bet a lot of them will change their minds once this is all over."

Uncharacteristically, Prince Alexandre said, "That's a good idea. Come on lads."

Prince Ross hung back a second as his brothers made their way to the crying group of ladies. "Thank you Atlas," he said, touching my wrist, "Will you be okay? Do you need me to stay a minute?"

"Go ahead Pr- Ross," I said, giving him a small smile, "I'm the last person you should be worried about."

He sighed in relief, looking as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "I will come find you the first chance I get when this is all over, I promise," he said sincerely, his icey blue eyes swirling with warmth as he looked at me. Prince Ross gave me a small nod and walked over to Lady Valentine, who was more composed than the others but was a white as a sheet and looked as if she might pass out at any moment. 

I scanned the room, my eyes falling on the royals once again. The guard's back was to us, meaning the king and queen were able to keep an eye on us as they talked and planned. The queen seemed pleased that her sons took the initiative to comfort the women like future kings should, but then her eyes landed on me. They were cool and unreadable, but I could have sworn there was a flash of approval in there. We were all being judged on our behavior, even during an attack on the palace. The princess looked disgusted at the girls huddling in the corner, and kept her head held high as she stayed by her mother's side. 

The king, on the other hand, was not afraid to show his disdain. He watched me with his lips pressed together tight and the corners of his mouth twitching down in a frown. I don't know what he could have been upset about; I thought my performance today had been especially impressive and queenly. 

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We spent hours in the dining hall, even when all the commotion outside and in the corridor had ceased. No one but the head guard was allowed in and out of the room, and there were a few guards who were passing around water for everyone. Most of the selected had calmed down and went back to their seats, but I knew a few of them still wanted to leave when all of this was over. 

The Princes all looked haggard, and none of them had stopped to sit down or relax; they were moving from guards to their parents, to the selected, and back again. I had to admit they worked well together. Prince Ross was the one who thought up all the ideas, Prince Christoph was the rational one, and Prince Alexandre was the brawn and confidence to carry out the ideas. 

When we were finally let out and escorted by a set of guards each to our rooms, we finally saw the carnage done. The entire palace was in ruins. Doors were broken down, tables overturned, rugs ripped up, and paintings torn down. So far we hadn't heard of anyone getting hurt, and there was no blood or wounded guards to say otherwise. 

The selected rooms were not any better. They all look like they had been broken into and ransacked. All our clothing was pulled out of drawers and closets, our beds rifled with, and our possessions scattered. The oddest part was that everything was still there; no jewelry or expensive property had been stolen. 

Extra maids were dispatched to help clean up, and when we passed by other selected's rooms, they looked nearly put back together. My room, however, was still a disaster. My maids were no where to be found, and I stepped around dresses and fabrics on the floor to assess the damages. 

I jumped when a whimper from the closet startled me. Warily pushing open the door, I found Gemma curled up in a fetal position, and her eyes were wide and scared when she noticed me come in. 

"Gemma! Are you okay?! What happened?!" I asked, rushing over to her and reaching to help her up. She started crying harder and pushed me away, seemingly afraid of me. 

"Gemma? What's wrong?" I asked, but she didn't answer, instead pushing me away but then clinging onto my skirts like a scared child. I shook her gently, trying to get her to say something.

"Atlas?" I heard someone say behind me, and then Hannah and Luna appeared in the closet doorway. Hannah had a small silver tray with a cup of water and two white pills on it.

"Oh Atlas!" Luna said, rushing to pull me up, "We're so sorry your room is still a mess, we will make sure to get started right-" 

"Are you crazy??" I asked incredulously, standing up and motioning to their partner beside me, "I don't care about my room. We need to go get help for Gemma!" 

The small maid next to me started making guttural noises as she bawled and shook her head veraciously. She tugged onto the skirt of my dress like she was begging, and I fell onto my knees to wrap my arms around her. 

"No miss, please don't do that," Hannah said, walking over to Gemma and placing the tray down next to her, "No one can see her until she calms down." 

"What? Why?" I asked, reaching down to wrap my arms around her small waist and haul her up.

"Atlas, if everyone sees her like this, she could jeopardize her job," Hannah said, helping me lead Gemma to the bed where she collapsed into a ball. "I know you don't like the idea of us wait on you, but being a maid is one of the best jobs we can have," she continued, trying to coax Gemma into taking the medicine, "We're the trusted servants to take care of the most important people in the country. Trust me Atlas, boiling our hands off in the kitchen is actually worse than trying to manage your curls." 

Gemma sniffled and wiped her nose, giving the smallest smile before taking the medicine. 

Luna came up next to me, leaning over my shoulder to talk quietly into my ear as we watched the two of them. "Gemma is a great worker, but she get's very panicked during rebel attacks. Last year they managed to get a hold of guard uniforms and infiltrated the castle. Everything was a mess and no one knew really what to do. Unfortunately one of them got their hands on Gemma and... well... Lady Atlas, we don't even know the extent of what happened to her. We don't bring it up..." 

I looked towards sweet Gemma, who was now nodding off peacefully against Hannah's shoulder. I walked over and gently laid her down onto the bed, pulling some of the blankets back onto the bed from where they had been tossed onto the floor by the rebels. Hannah looked as if she was going to stop me, but then thought better of it. 

I nestled the blankets around her and smoothed the stray hairs away from her face. I swore on my life that I wouldn't let anything like that happen to her again; I'd kill them first.