I really was happy for him.

Although in my heart I was painfully jealous, I knew he would finally be safe and could have the good life he deserved. Running a country couldn't be very fun, but he was going to be a good king and thrive in this new position. Illea would finally be in the hands of someone with genuine intentions to fix the injustices that were rampant in this nation.

And I think Valeera will love him fully and faithfully.

I was escorted to the throne room for the closing ceremony by two guards. I could see that everything was thrown together last minute, though that was only because I had been to enough events to know that the decorators would never have been so sloppy to match yellow roses with white, silk streamers.

There were rows of chairs facing the dais, not unlike what a wedding might look like, but it was rather disorganized. Photographers sat next to councilmen and any dignitaries that were able to fly in on such short notice were mixed with reporters holding huge microphones. Gavril had already started covering the pre-event, so he was standing in a corner with his familiar show smile plastered on his face as he talked to one of the Report cameras. Though even from my seat I could see his animation was more from nerves than excitement.

My mother and a few of her generals were sat in the back. Of course, they would have come to see one of their own being introduced to the nation as queen-to-be. They too seemed on edge, as if at any moment someone might call them out and they would have to run.

It wasn't just the Northerners and Gavril that seemed anxious. There were guards nearly lining the walls, and I absently wondered if they had brought in reinforcements at the last minute. Some of them looked particularly scruffy, normally a grave insult to the royals, but it was all planned very quickly. A lot of the guards were shifting nervously or uncomfortably, which wasn't normal for them – usually they stood perfectly still, perfectly straight, and scanned the room only with their eyes.

The other Selected had flown in to join us at the ceremony. I was seated in the front row, between Valeera and Fox, with the other Elites fanning out on either side. I knew if I turned around, there would be three guards sitting right behind me. They clearly thought I was up to something, and Silver had just managed to convince them not to handcuff my ankles to the chair legs.

The three princes stood in front of the throne, talking quietly amongst themselves. They were all dressed in their semi-signature looks. Alex wore a full, three-piece navy suit, Ross wore a pin-stripe black jacket and trousers combo, and Christoph had on a slim fit, drop waist white suit jacket. Each wore a boutonniere with their province capitol state flower.

I couldn't help but smile at the effortlessly relaxed aura Alexandre exuded. He had a hand in his pants pocket and leaned his weight on one leg, and the side of his mouth pulled back in a lopsided smile as he laughed at something Ross had said. His brothers were handsome, but he really did have an otherworldly quality about him that distinguished him as the future king.

Hopefully, just king after today.

The three of them broke apart as the music started up, and the room quieted as a wave of heads turned to look at the entrance. The king and queen walked up the path between the chairs as the crowd stood out of respect. I looked over my shoulder, my eyes traveling across the guests across the aisle, not needing any more reminders that it was the king that kept Alex and I apart.

My stomach dropped and a copper taste filled my mouth when my eyes landed on a particular guest. He now had a beard and wore a winter cap, but I had spent years learning how to pick him out of the crowd. During cage fights, he was my coach, so I was practiced at finding him whenever I needed help or directions. I always searched the crowd of lower castes after a take down, excited to see the pride in his eyes.

There was no pride in Sjin's eyes this time as he slowly found mine in the crowd. He looked angry, but there was a haughty confidence about him as he reached up and pulled off his hat. Under it was a green and black headband.

I spun around to see a wave of dipping heads as an alarming number of guests reached behind their heads to tie the similarly colored bands around their foreheads. I recognized those colors. I had seen them during the last raid on the castle.

It was the color of the southern rebels.

I didn't hesitate, even when I saw Sjin raise a gun and point it towards the dais. I threw myself across guests, pushing chairs out of my way and slipping out of the arms of the guards behind me as I ran to Sjin. Everyone else reacted a split second after I had as a gunshot rang out. I turned my head just long enough to see Albany collapse to the ground, dead with a bullet through her head.

I didn't have time to be mortified. I tripped over my dress and a chair as I scrambled over to Sjin. Recovering just quick enough, I grabbed right onto the barrel of the gun Sjin held, surprising him and making him jerk upward.

There were terrified, guttural screams all around us. Chairs were flipped over, gunshots rang out, and there was a mad dash for the exit at the back. It left Sjin and I knocking into empty chairs as I tried to wrestle the gun out of his hand. He had a steel grip on it.

"What are you doing?!" I demanded over the screaming.

His eyes were filled with an intense, fiery anger. "I told you, you would regret betraying me," he snarled into my face, wrapping his arm around my waist and trying to pick me up to slam me onto the ground. His ankle got caught on a chair and I was able to slip out of his hold, but my dress was making it hard to fight and I nearly tripped.

I kept a tight hold of the gun with one hand, trying to punch his head with my non-dominant hand. I was slow, and he blocked it with his forearm easily. Before I could pull away, he grabbed my wrist and twisted it back painfully. I was so weak from months at the capitol, he was easily able to shove me around.

I wanted to explain that I wasn't going to be chosen, that I wasn't going to be queen, but I didn't have the time. Instead, I just shouted, "Sjin! Stop!"

The gun twisted down between us, but I didn't let go.

I didn't let go until an ear deafening explosion went off between us. I yelped as I felt the skin of my hand flash with a searing heat.

Swearing, I broke away from his grip and looked down at my hand. My ears rung as I watched the skin flare a bright red.

Adrenalin and shock were quite the concoction.

My hand burned, but I didn't even realize there was a hole in the left side of my stomach until I noticed the growing red stain leaching across my dress. I slapped my hand on it, pressing down hard as the pain faded back in like the noise around me. There were shouts and fighting around us, but it all sounded distant, like we were hearing it from a room over.

My head snapped up, all thoughts leaving my head as I stared at Sjin. He had frozen, the gun still aimed down at the ground. His eyes were wide with surprise, all the anger draining out of him as the gravity of the situation settled in.

"Atlas," he mouthed more than said.

"What did you-" I started, but then felt a strange sensation in my throat as blood erupted from my mouth before I could stop it. I doubled over, looked at the puddle below me grow as more blood and bile bubbled up through sputtering coughs.

Neither Sjin nor I were able to react before a figure tackled him to the ground. I could only register a shock of orange beard as the guard started beating Sjin relentlessly.

Someone caught me just in time as my knees gave out under me. Black flowers were starting to bloom in front of my eyes, but I focused solely on not passing out as I was dragged away from Sjin and gently placed behind an overturned table. I recognized Lewis was saying something above me, but my only thoughts were on Alex.

I hoped he was okay.

"Ben, Tom, where are the princes?" Lewis demanded as two other guards ducked behind the table. The gunfire was relentless.

As if on cue, Alex materialized next to me, lifting me off the floor. One of the soldiers pressed an entire tablecloth over my wound.

"Your grace, you need to get to the safe room," Ben or Tom pressed, but Alex wasn't listening.

"Atlas!" he cried, "Atlas, stay with me!"

I was wondering why he was shouting like that, but then realized my lids had closed at some point while my vision was fading. My eyes fluttered open to see the prince, tears already streaming down his cheeks as he repeated my name. He had a split lip, but other than that he looked unscathed.

That was good. I was glad he was okay.

"Ravs and Spiff got to them," one of the guards reported over the din of screams and shots, "I think they're in the safe room."

"Good, you get these two down there," Lewis instructed, perfectly calm, "I'll provide you with covering fire." He shifted into a squat, using his rifle to push himself up.

I felt a pair of hands slip behind my back and under my legs. I groaned, the pain starting to come to me. I wasn't unfamiliar with bruises, lashes, and broken bones, but this was a different type of agony, white hot and bitingly cold at the same time.

"Hang in there, my lady," Ben or Tom told me quietly, then louder, "Go! Go!!" The bumping from his run made me cry out in pain.

I was half carried, half dragged down a set of stairs behind the throne. There were four guards all squeezed behind the two thrones, periodically turning around the edge to shoot at the attackers. One of them motioned with their hands to hurry up, making us stumble even more as he entered into the safety of the panic room.

It was crowded down here, and we had a number of guns pointed at us until they realized who we were. We were escorted into a corner, and I could see there were injured civilians and guards around us.

"Atlas!" Alexandre shouted again, bringing my attention slowly over to him. He was kneeling over me, the florescent lights of the bunker creating a halo around his head.

He was so beautiful.

I seemed to somewhat come to my senses as he squeezed my shoulders and shook me. "Please don't fall asleep," he begged, shuffling over to wrap his arms around me. Someone suggested he not move me like that, but he didn't listen.

Panic set in as I realized that I was actually dying.

I doubted a shot to the stomach would be easily treated.

I started talking quickly, feeling blood dribble down my chin. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I choked out.

"No, Atlas," he snapped, his voice breaking, "Don't apologize."

"I'm so sorry I pushed you away, I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough for you. That I couldn't support you like I-" I was consumed with a fit of coughing, and absently I felt guilty that I was getting blood on such an expensive suit.

'It's okay, it's okay," he assured quickly, pushing stray hairs out of my face, "You didn't do anything wrong."

I knew I had very little time left, so I continued to quickly babble a stream of consciousness. "I love you. I love you so much and you're going to do so well. I'm sorry I won't be there for you. I would do it, Alex. I would do it if I could."

"Atlas, shut up!" the prince cried hysterically, "Don't talk like that! You're going to be fine!"

"You're going to be okay," I promised him, "You're going to be a good king."

"God Atlas, please don't go," he begged as his voice broke, "I don't want to do it without you."

"I love you so much, Alexandre," I sputtered, struggling to breath from the thick fluid clogging my throat, "I'm so happy I got to be with you."

"I'm yours, Atlas," he sobbed, pulling me closer to his chest, "There's no one else. There will never be anyone else. I love you. Please, please stay awake."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't go."

"Goodbye, Alex. . ."

I was shaken again. "No – No! Don't say that!" the prince shouted, "We're not doing that!"

I was sad he would break our tradition now.

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes, but it wasn't my entire life running through my mind. It was our Selection. I hadn't truly lived until I found him. The only regret was that I couldn't say goodbye to Aristotle, but I knew Alex would take care of him.

We had been so petty and immature when I first arrived. Throwing around scathing insults to try and one up each other. Making deals so he could keep up his image and I could use the barracks gym; too bad I hadn't kept that up, I might have been able to take the gun from Sjin.

He pulled me closer to his chest, sobs wracking his body as he bowed his head to lean our foreheads against each other. "God Atlas, don't leave me," he broke down, his tears hitting my face to mix with mine, "Please, please don't go. I don't want to lose you."

And Halloween, when we had held each other, found comfort in each other when everything around us was falling apart. I should have known then that he was the one. When we snuck out of the castle, I hadn't ever imagined that he would mean so much to me. I couldn't have guessed that we would give up sleep to go see each other – to eventually share late night kisses and find comfort in our intertwined bodies.

"I love you, Atlas," he whimpered, his bottom lip shaking, "I am so happy I got to meet. I don't regret a minute of it." Alex's face contorted in pain as he squeezed his eyes shut.

I wished I hadn't waited so long to make love to him. In those moments, seeing him so happy and free was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I love everything about him: the scars on his back, the foxy smiles he would give me across the dining room, the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was nervous, the way I could tell what he was thinking just by the emotions swirling in his eyes when his guard was down.

I loved how easy it was to be with him, even in the middle of multiple wars and rebellions. I loved the man and the leader he had become, and I loved the woman I had become because of him.

I loved him.

I loved Crowned Prince Alexandre Corvax.

I loved Alexandre. My Alex.

I loved