ACT I: FOUR

choosing the right side

Sithric and Osferth were with Uthred. Finan had chosen to be alone and so he had isolated himself from the others. He had advised Uthred to leave, but not risk dying for Skade. It wasn't worth it.

«So it's decided.» someone behind him said. It was Elin. She sat down next to him, offering him a jug of ale which he readily accepted. He needed to drink, to forget how his Lord would risk to die that morning and only for a cursed witch.

«Wessex is my place, just as Dunholm is yours.» Finan replied with a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. It was hard for him to admit it, but it was the truth. He would always fight for Wessex, just like Sithric and Osferth.

«That means the next time we see each other will be on the battlefield.» Elin said, and after those words, Finan immediately turned his head towards her and began to look at her with a surpised gaze. «What? Did you expect me to stay here while the others fight?» she then asked him, raising an eyebrow. She hold back a laugh atf the thought that Finan didn't expect that.

«No, it's just... I don't want to fight with you.» and he was sincere. He loved to fight, especially to protect the place where he belonged. But at the same time he hated fight with someone he cared about.

«Are you afraid I might beat you?» Elin joked, but Finan only smiled slightly. He was serious, too much serious for her. «We won't fight, I promise.» she whispered at that point, placing a hand on his. «But I have to do it with your friends. You know I have to.»

Finan nodded, looking at her, and for a moment Elin was lost in his eyes. He looked... sad? Of course he was, because he cared about Elin and the thought of them on two opposite side made him sad. «I never thought I'd say this but... I'll miss you, Irishman.»

Elin was sincere, and she had a weight on the heart. In a week, Finan became a friend to her, just like Sithric and Osferth. But Finan was... Finan. And this already meant something. Uthred and his warrior became friends to Elin, but Finan was on a higher level than the others.

«I thought you wanted to kill me, until a few minutes ago.» Finan joked, with a chuckle. Elin looked into his eyes, then her attention fell on their hands which Finan had clasped. They both liked that touch and decided not to move away.

«I could never do that.» Elin whispered. And she was right. She could never kill Finan, even if he were on the other side. She cared about him. He was her friend, so she could never do that.
«Why?»

But Elin didn't answer. She hadn't the time to do that because Ragnar suddenly interrupted her. «Hey, Irishman!» he shouted, walking towards them and forcing them to move their hands away. «Get away from her, now!» the dane growled. He seemed angry with Finan, but what did he do? Nothing, Finan did nothing. But he was an Uthred's friend.

«Ragnar, it's okay. We're just talking.» Elin tried to calm him down, but she knew it was very difficult. When Ragnar was angry, there was no way to calm him down. He thought his brother had betrayed him. His heart was literally broken.

«He's an enemy now.» Ragnar said, looking at Elin. But she didn't want to listen to him. Finan wasn't the enemy, he was just on the wrong side of that war. «Get away from her.» Ragnar then growled, turning to Finan.

But Finan was not afraid of Ragnar. The Dane was one of the most strongest warriors he had ever known, but he wasn't afraid of him at that moment. Because Ragnar had no right to decide for Elin. «She's not your woman.»

«She's not yours either.» Ragnar snapped, knowing Finan was right. Elin wasn't his woman, but she was like a sister to him. He would never put her in danger. And in his opinion, the only danger now was the Irishman beside them.

Before Ragnar had a chance to attack Finan, Elin stepped between the two warriors, her back to his brother and her eyes on the Irishman. «Finan, please.» Elin begged him, placing a hand on his chest. Finan looked at her and sighed. «I'm sorry.» she whispered to him.

He shook his head, saying nothing more, then walked away and rejoined his friends. Elin watching him disappear behind a house, tears in her eyes. She didn't want that, she wanted peace but Ragnar and the Danes didn't. Why did it have to be so complicated?

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Elin didn't talk much. She kept thinking about what had happened before. She was angry with Ragnar. He had no right to choose for her. She hated so much when someone told her what to do. «Elin...»

Ragnar sat down in front of her and started looking her. He knew that he had hurt her. In that week Ragnar saw the bond Elin created with Uthred's warrior, especially with Finan. «He's my friend.» she said, without looking at him.
«He's your enemy.»

«No, he's not! So does Uthred!» she blurted out. She was so angry about what Ragnar had done. «Ragnar, he's still your brother.» she said, after calming down. Maybe there was still hope. Maybe she could convince her friend to do the right thing.

«He's not anymore.» Ragnar uttered, tired to heard that Uthred was his brother. He was, until he decided to betray him by choosing Alfred. «Uthred has chosen a side. Your Irishman has chosen a side. They all did. It's time you moved on and saw them for who they really are.»

«He's not my Irishman.» Elin quickly corrected Ragnar. Finan was not hers, he would never be hers. So Ragnar had no right to call the Irishman hers just as he had no right to choose her friends.

«But you care about him, don't you?» it was the first time Elin had really thought about it. And she couldn't contradict Ragnar. Because that time he was right. «Forget him. He doesn't deserve you.» were the last words Ragnar said to Elin. Then, he left her alone with her thoughts.

«Is it true?» suddenly Brida asked her, sitting down in front of her. She heard the whole conversation between her husband and her friend and decided to find out more. «Have you feelings for the Irishman?»

«I have not.» Elin told her, after drinking a bit of ale. She needed it, so much. She knew she would hate that conversation as much as the one with Ragnar a few moments before. «But... I don't want to fight against him, nor Sithric, or Osferth...»

«But you must.» as a cold wind hit skin in a winter's day, Brida's words hit Elin in her heart. That was the truth, and it hurt. «Look, Elin, you know that...»

«I know, stop to remember me every time.» Elin interrupted her friend, tired of hearing the same thing and the same words every time. She knew, but she didn't want to accept it. «I go to rest. Goodnight, Brida.»

Elin got up and left, leaving her friend alone. She went to home she shared with Astrid since a few years. «Elin, are you okay?» Astrid asked her when welcomed her at the door She had immediately noticed her bad mood.

«Your father has decided for me, again.» Elin told her, lying on her bed and closing her eyes for a moment. She was tired, tired of everything. Why was her life always so complicated?

«What do you mean?» Astrid didn't understand what her friend was saying, but then she opened her eyes widened. It could just be a reason to make Elin in a bad mood. «Finan.»

«We are just talking.» and for the first time since they met, Elin liked talking with him. «You were right, though. He's funny.» she continued after a few seconds, thinking back to the moments they laughed together that day.

Astrid smiled listening those words coming out of her friend's mouth. She always told her that Finan was a funny man, and most importantly, he was handosme. He was a warrior, but he was different. «And handsome.»

«As you wish.» Elin simply said, because she couldn't correct Astrid after all. Finan was a funny warrior, but he was also good looking. She spent a whole week to hate him, without realizing how handsome he was. But she would never admit it, not to Astrid at least.

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«What happened?» Sithric asked Finan, after seeing his friend entering in their inn room with an annoyed expression on his face. He didn't answer him right away, and this attitude confused them all.

«Ragnar forced me away from Elin.» Finan said after leaning against the window. He started to look at the street outside, trying not to think about what had happened with Elin. Maybe he shouldn't have walked away, maybe he should have stayed with her.

«What were you doing?» Osferth uttered, knowing there was something else Finan hadn't told them. His friend was not annoyed by Ragnar's hatred, but by the fact he was now on the opposite side of Elin.
«We were just talking.»

«He hates me. And therefore he hates all of you.» Uthred said, not looking at his warriors. He blamed himself for put them in danger. They hd told him to leave Dunholm, and he hadn't listen to them. They were right, and now they were in danger because of him. «I'm sorry, guys. It's all my fault.»

«No Lord, it's not. None of them wanted to fight Alfred.» Finan told him. He knew Uthred very well, so he knew his Lords was blaming himself for not doing as he had told him to do. «Now go to rest, you need that.» Finan then uttered, convincing Uthred to go to his room.

After their Lord leaving, the three warriors remained alone with nothing to say. Or maybe they wanted to say so much and didn't know where to start.

Sithric continued to drink his ale, while Finan thought about Elin and what had happened. Osferth was the only one who seemed worried about Uthred. «Do you think he...» he tried to say, but Finan cut him off.
«He will make it. I know it.»

The Irishman was so tired of thinking. He was thinking about Uthred's foolishness in accepting the fight with Bloodhair. He was thinking about what would happen the next morning and what they would do after the fight. And finally, he was thinking about Elin.

That evening, before Ragnar had rudely interrupted them, had probably been the last time Finan had seen her. He didn't know if Elin would be present at Uthred and Bloodhair's fight in the morning. But, even if she had, he was aware she couldn't approach him.

«And you?» Sithric suddenly asked, leading Finan to turn around. «Will you be able to let her go?» the Dane got the point, but Finan would never admit that his friend was right. He could lose her. He wouldn't want to lose her.

But he also remembered Ragnar's words. The leader of the Danes was right too. «She's not my woman.» he told them, then sighed. Elin was not his woman, he had no power over her. He could have nothing to convince her to come with them.
«But you would like to.»

For the second time, Sithric knew what he would have said. «I don't need a woman.» Finan blurted out, annoyed by his friend's words. Or maybe, he was just tired of listening the truth. «I just need an another jug of ale.»

«For now.» Sithric uttered, when he saw his friend stand up. Finan heard him, but said nothing. He hadn't the strength to argue about that discussion. He was tired, and he knew they would all be thinking about the next morning.

It wouldn't be easy.

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Elin couldn't sleep for the whole night. She was worried about the consequences of the fight. One man between Uthred and Bloodhair would die afterward, and she didn't want to think that man would be Uthred. Because she knew what that would mean for Ragnar.

Just when she left her house with Astrid, Elin saw Ragnar. He was walking through the streets with some of his men. Probably he was going to the place where the fight between Uthred and Bloodhair would take place.

«You can try, again.» Astrid's words made Elin decide to try to convince Ragnar to put an end to all this. Maybe there was still somethings she could do. Maybe there was still hope.

«Ragnar.» Elin called the Dane, moving towards him. Step by step she tried to convince herself that Ragnar would listen to her. «You can still stop this.» she said, after his friend stop and moved away from his men.

But Ragnar was such a stubborn man, Elin had come to know him. She loved him like a brother, but sometimes they also discussed like a brother and a sister because of their stubbornness. «I've made my decision. I won't change idea.»

«You are a fool.» those words came out of Elin's mouth, before she could even control it. It had been her anger to speak, the same anger that would put her in danger in the future.
«What did you say?»

Elin would have changed her words, maybe pretending to say something else. But she didn't. «You are an idiot, Ragnar Ragnarsson. That's what I said!» she growled, realising that nothing could change Ragnar's intentions. «You are so angry with your brother that you don't understand all this is madness!»

«My brother abandoned me for the princess because of his path with the King.» Ragnare tried to keep calm. He knew Elin couldn't understand his reasons, but he hoped she did. «So am I angry? Yes, I am. But I'm not a fool, Elin. I know you know that.»

And he was right. Uthred betrayed him for Alfred, but Elin was sure there was another way to resolve that situation. She hoped there was another way. But sudden noises made her realize that there was no time.

As she walked towards the square the men had created, Elin saw Finan in the crowd. They hadn't met yet that morning. Seeing him there, a few meters away from her, made Elin feel something. Thinking about their conversation the night before made her feel something. She couldn't deny it.

Finan smiled at her and she smiled back. Their smiles weren't happy, they were both sad. Elin knew they would be soon gone and Finan knew the next time they would see each other on the battlefield on opposite sides.

Elin went to him. Pretending not to notice, she stood next to him and grabbed his hand. Finan was surprised at first, but he returned the squeeze, intertwining their hands. She needed reassurance, and strangely enough, the first person who came to mind was him. Not Brida, not Ragnar, not Astrid. But him.

«I tried to convince Ragnar to stop this.» Elin spoke first, not looking at him Her attention was focused on Uthred and Bloodhair. They were preparing themselves for the fight. «I'm sorry, Finan.»

«It's not your fault, Elin.» Finan said, gently moving his thumb over her hand to try to reassure her. She had done everything she could to stop Ragnar, she could do nothing more. «That's how it should be.» he then whispered, sighing as he saw his Lord put his sword in his hands.

Elin looked at him for a moment, but Finan was already focused on Uthred. Elin could see how concerned he was for his Lord. And she couldn't blame him. She just held his hand to give him strength, shifting her attention to the square.

«He will do it.» Elin whispered, knowing Finan would hear her. But the Irishman said nothing, just smiled at her. She was helping, and he was so grateful for her help. «He will.» because after all, Elin hoped Uthred would win that fight too.

And then, the fight began. But it wasn't equal because of Bloodhair's men who were helping him. They held Uthred and took his sword. But no one did anything to stop that madness. Beocca tried to convince Ragnar to do it, but the Dane leader didn't listen to him.

«If that's what you want.» Finan snapped, suddenly releasing Elin's hand to push through the crowd. He reached the Dane and struck him in the head, knocking him to the ground. «Uthred, Lord, here!» he shouted, throwing the sword to his Lord. «His shoulder!» he advised, and it was thanks to that advice that Uthred won.

Uthred was about to kill him, but Ragnar stopped the fight pushing his brother away from Bloodhair. «It's over.» he then ordered them both, stepping between the two warriors.
«No, it's not over until he's dead.»

«I said it is over.» Ragnar snorted, after Bloodhair's words. He looked at his brother, a serious expression on his face. He was done with that, especially with Uthred. He didn't care what he would do, Ragan just wanted he left Dunholm as quickly as possible.

«I demand my woman.» Bloodhair grunted, as he stood up. He was covered in his own blood, but he still had the strenght to fight for his woman. However, Ragnar didn't agree.
«I won't lose one single man before the true battle is even began.»

«It was to the death.» Uthred continued to insist, as if he wanted to finish what he was pending with him. He wanted to kill Bloodhair, and break the curse he had because of that witch.
«If you disagree with me, then fight me.»

«Kill him Ragnar and we'll be done with that.» Brida shouted, making Elin nervous. Ragnar would never fight or killed Uthred. He would not be capable to do it. Because, after all, he was still his brother and he loved him. But he was broken because of him.

«It is over. It's done. Take what it belongs to you.» Ragnar muttered, pretending not to listen to his wife. He knew Brida was broken too. After all, Uthred was one of her best friends and now he had betrayed her too. «Take your witch.»

After Ragnar's words, Elin's attention turned to the witch. Skade had been in Dunholm since Uthred's arrival, but she had been in a cage. She was far away from them all, and Elin tried to stay away from her too. Because she didn't like witches, especially ones like Skade.

«She belongs to me.» Bloodhair was complaining to Ragnar, as Elin watched Uthred and his men get on their horse. Her gaze lingered on Finan, but the Irishman didn't look at her. Because he was afraid of what he would see in her eyes.

Brida suddenly threw a spear at the gate. «That is not meant I miss. Next time I won't.» she growled, looking at Uthred. She felt betrayed by him, just like Ragnar. But she could only watch Uthred walk away.

Finan finally took one last look at her. He was sad, just like Elin. He was trying to keep calm so as not to make Elin sad too, but he failed. Because Elin was just trying to hold back her tears and Finan noticed that very well.

His heart was broken by this. She was almost crying for him, probably. And he hated watching her do this. It wasn't worth it. Not for him, at least.

Finan wanted to get close to her, tell her that everything would be okay. But he couldn't, because he was no one, and especially because Ragnar would kill him if he saw him approaching to Elin.

Uthred noticed his friend's change of mood the moment the doors closed behind them. They had lost everything. They had no home, they had only one task: save Æthelflaed.

Elin had no task instead. She just wanted to yell at Ragnar because of what he did. And she did. «Are you satisfied?» Elin told him. She was so angry at him, because she had warned him before the fight.

The Dane could see anger in her eyes, and that was the moment in which he realised what he had done. Elin had lost the man who probably fall in love with. And it was all his fault.

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Elin almost ran away from Dunholm's streets. She would have not thought that she could have felt so bad for Finan's goodbye. He had became a friend to her, just like Sithric and Osferth.

Say goodbye to them made her sad, especially because their departure was caused by Alfred and his daughter. If Uthred hadn't chosen them, probably now they would have been still in Dunholm. Maybe she would have been able to convince them to become allies.

«Don't, Astrid.» Elin said, hearing someone opening the door of her room. She knew that her friend was here, because Astrid had seen her walking away from Ragnar and had decided to reach her. «I know Ragnar is right, okay? But...»

«At the same time you care about Uthred and his men.» Astrid knew what Elin would say. They became friends since the first day we met and over time they also became sisters. They knew each other's feelings.

«I hate the war. So much.» Elin snapped, closing her eyes and putting hands on them. She just wanted to forget, pretending that nothing what happened before really had.
«Everyone hates the war.»

Elin sighed, finally opened her eyes and started to look at her friend. «Your father could have stopped that, but he didn't.» and Astrid agreed with Elin's words, but she also knew there was more.

«He's suffering from Uthred's betrayal.» Astrid tried to justify her father, but Elin knew that he shouldn't be justified. Because he was right, Elin was so aware of that.

Before Elin could say anything, someone knocked on the door. They both didn't know who would be, but Astrid found out it the moment she went to open the door of their house. And she wasn't very surprised. Because she was kind of expecting it.

Elin waited for her friend still lying on her bed. She got up a few moments later, when she saw who Astrid welcomed into the house. Ragnar.
«Astrid, can you leave us alone please?»

«Yes, father.» the girl said, before leaving them alone. Astrid knew her father very well, especially how much he cared about Elin since day one. So she knew he would do everything to clear things up with her and explain his point of you.
«I'm sorry for everything, but...»

«You're right.» Elin interrupted Ragnar, not looking at him. She had to find the strength to do it without letting him notice her feelings. But it was too late for that, because Ragnar already knew. «They are the enemy, but I can't hate them. In a week they made me feel at home.»

«We are your home.» Ragnar whispered, getting closer to her. He had tried to feel Elin at home since the first day we met in the forest. She was just a little and scared girl, and he saved her from who wanted her dead.

«You, Brida and Astrid are. Not all Danes.» Elin specified, and the Dane leader couldn't contradict her. Because as much as he had tried all those years, he was aware of what Elin had said. «You know they would never accept me because of my origins.» she then told him, making him sigh.
«I have accepted you, since the first moment I met you in the forest eight years ago.»

«And I so glad for it. That day you saved my life.» Elin told him, bringing a hand in his cheek. In all those years Ragnar became a point of reference for her. She confessed the truth to him, that secret no one knew. «But you know what I meant.»

«If Uthred and his warrior made you feel at home, so why didn't you follow them?» it was a simple question Ragnar asked Elin out of his curiosity, nothing more.

He cared about that girl, and if she had felt happier with Uthred and his men, he would have let her go. Because Ragnar only wanted her happiness, after all it had happened to her.

Elin smiled at that question. She knew Ragnar would have done whatever she wanted to. She was free to follow Uthred, but she didn't. And the reason was one, just one reason. «Because I love you and I will always choose you, Ragnar. Nothing would ever change that.»

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Uthred and his warriors rode for almost a day. Silence dominated most of the travel. No one wanted to talk. No one had the strength to do that. Especially Finan.

He was annoyed by everything that had happened. He lost Elin. For the first time in his life, he felt something different for a woman. He wasn't in love with her, but he felt... something. And that was enough for him.

«Don't worry about her, Irishman. She's safe.» Skade interrupted his thoughts, approaching him. «And you'll meet again sooner than you think.» she then whispered in his ears, riding beside him.

But Finan wouldn't listen to her. He didn't like Skade, and he had others thoughts on his mind right now. He was aware Elin wouldn't be easy to forget and Skade's words made him nervous. Because he knew she was lying. She was just teasing him. «Stop talking.»

Skade was not a woman who simply obeyed. She didn't do what she was told. She did what she wanted to. So she spoke, and her words made Finan more nervous and thoughtful.

«And that moment she will need you to not falling down.»

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Elin and Finan, after spending more and more time together, were separated because of war. Finan was forced to leave Dunholm with Uthred, while Elin could only see him leave forever.

"I will always choose you" I cried when I wrote the speech between Elin and Ragnar. They are so much like a younger sister and an older brother. They are so cute together but...

Little spoiler about the next chapter: it set on the day of Ragnar's death, so... I'M NOT READY TO LET HIM GO AFTER ONLY FOUR CHAPTER :(