My mouth drops in shock.

What?

They want to adopt my sister?

I blurt out to Persie, "But you don't need them because I'll take care of you!"

Persie mutters, "I know, Athena... I know."

"What did you tell the Hoffmans?"

"I told them that I needed some time to think about it. Rick and Willow know about you, Athena. They know about our plans to be a family again."

"And they still want to adopt you? Knowing that I'm coming for you?"

"They said it'll be my choice."

I don't know how this makes me feel.

Although, an uncomfortable thought occurs to me: Persie wouldn't bother mentioning any of this to me if she wasn't having doubts about our future. She would've simply refused Rick and Willow's offer outright.

Right?

Right...

My mind reels some more.

An ache emerges in my chest once I realize that Persie might actually be considering their offer of adoption over mine. It definitely stings. Persie is my only blood relative. I love her with my whole damn heart, and she loves me back with her whole damn heart. We're family. Family is supposed to stick together. That was what our mom always taught us, anyway.

But I don't blame Persie for doubting me. For doubting my ability to take care of her. I can be such a clueless fuck up at times.

For now, I push aside my own selfish reaction. I need to do what's best for Persie. Lately, over our last few chats, I have to admit, I noticed that she did seem a bit happier with Rick and Willow. From what Persie has told me, their home sounds safer and more stable than some of the other foster families she has been assigned to.

Would Persie be better off with the Hoffmans than me?

I don't know.

I don't think they're very well off, but, at least, they have real paying grown-up jobs as a plumber and a waitress.

Unlike me.

All I know how to do is sell weed.

But I plan to get a real job in New Jersey. As a waitress. As a receptionist. Whatever will pay the bills.

Does Persie want to stay with the Hoffmans, though?

Other than the bits and pieces that my sister has shared with me, I don't know much about Rick and Willow. There's no way I'm handing over my baby sister to some strangers without getting to know everything about them first.

This is why, for now, I still believe that I'm the best person to take care of my sister. Because I love Persie more than anyone ever could, and I'll always fight harder for her than anyone else.

I turn my attention back to Persie and ask, "How do you feel about Rick and Willow, Persie?"

"They're nice, I guess, most of the time. Sometimes they get into fights over money, but I think they love each other, and I think they like me."

"What about you, though? How do you feel about them? Do you trust them? And don't worry about hurting my feelings if you genuinely like them and want to stay with them."

Hesitation clings to her voice. "I mean, they're good to me. Sometimes, I think it might be nice to live with them. Long term. They don't yell or get mad over little things. They try to take me out to fun places. I like Willow better than the other foster moms I've had."

"Oh, yeah?"

"But I don't know how to answer their question, Athena."

"Tell them that you need more time," I advise in a big sisterly tone. "Tell Rick and Willow that I want to meet them before you make a decision."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I affirm. "I'll get my ass to New Jersey once summer begins. We can all spend a few weeks together. I want to get to know them, too."

Persie seems much more relieved now. "Okay. Thanks, Athena. You always know what to do to make things better."

"I'm your big sis. That's my job."

"I miss you," she mumbles softly.

My chest clenches at her sweet, sad admission. Thickly, I murmur, "Miss you, too."

"Only a few more months until graduation, right?"

Only a few more months until I have to say goodbye to Cruz.

My heart sinks a little. "Uh-huh."

"I can't wait to see you again."

I feel like a mess of emotions as I sigh softly, "Neither can I."

"Love you, Athena."

"Love you more, Persie-girl."

"Good-night."

"Night."

I kept my composure for Persie's sake.

Now that I've hung up the phone, however, I feel stupidly overwhelmed. I struggle to keep my shit together. Even though I just offered to get to know the Hoffman's, I don't want to lose my sister to Rick and Willow.

Still, the same doubt lingers in my mind: What if Persie will be better off with them?

The last thing I want to do is block the way to a better future for her.

After all, Rick and Willow are adults who have a place to live and a car and jobs. I'm going to be an eighteen-year-old homeless nobody with only a high school diploma and a couple thousand dollars of weed money to my name.

The call with my sister triggers something tense and twitchy inside me. I realize in a panicked blur that I only have a few months left to prepare for Persie. I need to buy a bus ticket to New Jersey. I need to find us an apartment. I need to get a job. I need to start the legal process of adoption.

Reality is getting too real.

My life feels like a candle that's being burned from both ends. On one end, I don't feel ready to become Persie's guardian, but it's happening, anyway. On the other end, I don't want to let go of Cruz, but it's also happening, anyway.

Fucking hell.

My thoughts shift to Cruz.

I know I have to talk to him, but I don't know how to have this conversation with him anymore. This time, my reluctance has nothing to do with the ticking countdown of high school graduation or our potential break up. I simply don't want to burden him with more of my problems.

I carry heavier baggage than Cruz ever bargained for, and I can't stand in the way of a better future for him, either. I can't expect him to move to New Jersey for Persie and me. I can't expect him to help pay our bills. I can't expect him to choose Persie and me over his own future.

Tears prick my eyes.

Cruz and I aren't even broken up yet, but my heart already hurts because I know, at the end of the day, the right thing to do will be to walk away from my perfect, green-eyed boy.

However, I don't know if I'll ever feel ready to say goodbye to him.

Already, my bed feels cold and empty without Cruz in it.

Abruptly, I sit up in the dark. Like a girl possessed, my feet hit the hardwood floors. My legs start moving on their own accord. I find myself creeping out of my room. Down the hallway. Towards Cruz's room. I know this is probably risky as hell. Because his room is closer to the master bedroom.

What if Ron and Aunt Katrina hear me?

But a frenzy of emotions and hormones has taken hold of me. Caution is tossed to the wind. Cruz and I have so much to discuss in regards to Persie. I don't want him to feel hurt or shut out. I want to talk to him. I want to hold him. I want to make him feel better. Against my better judgment, I simply care about him too much.

In a few months, I know I'll need to let him go, but, just for tonight, I want to cling to him with all my might.

While I still can.