LILITH SMITH NEVER DREAMED ANYMORE. After the death of her mother, she refused to sleep. The fear of relieving that moment over and over in her dreams was so overwhelming that she somehow found a way to never truly fall asleep again---maybe it was why people found her so mean. It wouldn't be a stretch to blame the chronic sleep deprivation for her cold demeanor, her short temper, or even her proneness for violence.

Every night she would rest, her eyes closed and breathing steady, but she would always catch herself right before she fell into the dark pit of REM. This made it incredibly easy to wake her.

Obviously, a certain dumbass, affectionately called "Fat Joey" by her father, did not know this fact as he pounded loudly on her door at the crack of dawn.

Lilith's whole body shook at the sound of his obnoxious knocking. She was pretty sure she felt her heart literally stop for a second or two. Looking at the clock on her nightstand, it read 5:03 AM.

What on earth could anyone need so early?

The knocking continued. She groaned, harshly rubbing her face with both hands, and got up, angrily swinging open her bedroom door.

"What?" She asked with venom in her voice. Joey flinched as if he'd been stung.

"Um, hi. I'm so sorry, but I... well... there's been... something happened. Somethings still happening-"

"Spit it out, porkie pig."

"Sorry... The satellite outpost was attacked. People broke in, killed almost everyone. Survivors radioed in, they need help."

"Ok, why come to me? Why not get Simon? You do know he's in charge of that Outpost, not me."

"Well- Yes, of course. I know that," he chuckles nervously, his voice slightly cracking. "It's just that- You see-"

She interrupts him, already know what he was scared to explain, "It's just that you're more scared of Simon because he's a grown, six-foot-something, man, and I'm, what, a little girl?" Fat Joey opens his mouth to deny it, but she speaks up again, "Don't even try. I'm awake now and so there's no reason to wake someone even crankier than me. Tell them I'm coming." She sends an obnoxiously fake smile his way before slamming her door shut.

"Such bullshit," She mumbles to herself as she changes out of her makeshift PJ's.

In the blink of an eye, she was already outside, walkie in hand, climbing into her favorite yellow Jeep with the top down. She drives somewhat recklessly to the outpost---maybe from tiredness, maybe from a deeper carelessness for her own safety---she didn't know which. She just hoped to get there before the culprits disappear.

~~~~~~

By the time Lilith arrived, the sun was fully risen. Talking to a savior called Paula through the walkie, she strolls the border of the Outpost, scanning for the survivors who called her.

In the distance, she noticed a head of thin red hair and recognized it to be the woman she was talking to, "Alright, I see you."

Once she met up with Paula and the others, she noticed two women looking out of place. The younger one, probably mid-30s, had brown, shoulder-length hair. She looked more annoyed than scared, but the nerves were still clearly there. The older one, on the other hand, looked unbelievably terrified. She was pale to the point she looked sick, had gray hair just below her ears, and was probably mid-40s.

After studying each of them for a moment, Lilith turned to Paula."Who are they?" She asked expectantly.

"Hostages at the moment. Found them about an hour ago. Probably were preparing to drive the getaway car," Paula answered angrily.

Lilith looked back at the two, humming to herself in satisfaction. "So," She began, "since apparently I'm emergency response now, I'll be making the calls. To start, I'll have those binoculars." A savior with short black hair and a missing finger handed them to her, "Fantastic. What are we looking at here?"

"They got here a little before 5 AM. Murdered most of us in our sleep. We slipped out when the gunfire started."

Lilith observed the outpost from where they were standing, lifting the binoculars up to her face to get a better look. She saw the surprisingly small group preparing to leave, stealing a few trucks in the process. That's when an engine revved, and a bald savior on a motorcycle attempted his own escape.

"Any of you know a bald, white guy who likes motorcycles?" She inquired.

"Shit, is it Primo?" Paula asked.

"Don't ask me."

"No, no, no, he's our doctor," The male savior with a bullet wound remarked, with stress clear in his voice.

Lilith turned back to look at the scene, seeing the group tackle him to the ground and handcuff him. "Dammit, they've got him. Give me the walkie," She demanded. Paula, standing beside her, placed it in her hand. She fumbled with it for a second as I turn it on. "Lower your gun, prick," She speaks into the device, "you, with the colt python. All of you lower your weapons right now."

"Come on out, let's talk," One of them spoke back through the walkie.

"How many we got?"

"8 in sight... too many," She responded.

"We can take 'em. We've took more," the wounded savior spoke up.

She glared at him and he put his head down in fear.

"We're not coming out, but we will talk," She said back through the device in her hand. "Names," She demanded from the hostages.

The older one swayed terrified while the younger one glared angrily, both stay silent. "Names," She repeats louder and more frustrated.

"I'm Maggie, she's Carol," The younger one finally answered.

Lilith looked back through the binoculars and spoke into the walkie talkie, "I've got a Carol and a Maggie. I'm thinking thats something you might wanna chat about. Now, we're gonna work this out right now, and it's going to go our way." She stood silently and waits for a response.

"We have one of yours. We can make a trade." The man responded through the device

"I'm listening,"

"First I wanna talk to Maggie and Carol, make sure there alright,"

Lilith sighed and walked over to the hostages, "I'm gonna put you on. You're gonna say you're fine. I'll know if you try anything else," She told them.

After they both told Rick, which apparently is his name, that they're alright, She started talking again. "You have your proof. Let's talk."

"Alright this is the deal right here. Let 'em go, you can have your guy back and live."

"Two for one, that doesn't sound very fair."

"We don't have another choice, or you woulda done something about it already."

"We gotta get him back," the wounded savior insisted.

"I don't know, he looks like he can take care of himself," Lilith shrugged.

"He can patch me up. I need him thanks to that bitch," he snarled while looking at Carol. "You lost your balls, Lilith. You should just shoot her in the head so they can hear her die."

She snapped her head in his direction and gave him a deadly glare. "What makes you think you have the right to speak to me that way?" She threatened, "I have been nothing but helpful to you all. I was woken up at the crack of dawn, forced to drive all the way out here, all for a job that's not even mine to do. This situation shouldn't be my problem, but I'm here anyway. You're welcome by the way. I think I deserve just a teensy bit more respect than that, don't you think? Or should I tell the big man?" She waited for an answer, only for him to silently shake his head. "Good. I genuinely didn't want to do that."

Suddenly, Rick's voice came back over the radio, "Look, I know you're talking it over. It's a fair trade. Come out. We can do this. We all walk away. Do we have a deal?"

They all heard a biter snarling and looked over, "I'll get back to you," Lilith told him. One of the saviors with her put Carol and Maggie's jackets over their heads as the young girl dealt with the dead chick walking towards them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

They brought Maggie and Carol into a "safe house" and took the jackets off of their heads. They sat them on the floor on opposite sides of the room—their hands and feet duct taped together.

"You're wondering if there's a way out of this," Paula said as she finished duct taping Carols legs together. "There isn't. Not unless I say so."

One of the other saviors dragged a dead walker out of the room before shouting, "Paula, I need back up!" the savior stood up and walked towards the door with a gun in her hand.

"I wanna kill both of you right now, it's taking all I have not to so try something, I dare you, see what happens." She quickly threatened before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

After a beat, Lilith turned and made eye contact with Maggie. "Well, isn't she a pearl?" She remarked, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

She went to lean against the door, positioning herself so she could see into the hallway and the room simultaneously. After a short moment though, she grew bored and became lost in her thoughts.

Who are these people? Why now? How is she gonna get out of this? How long is this gonna last?

She didn't know how much time passed, but she was brought back to reality at the sound of the other door opening.

They all came back into the room with the same injured savior from earlier, who she now knew was called Donnie. She noticed he'd acquired yet another injury—this one not so easily fixed.

"Means people can get through too, maybe we should get gone," Donnie suggested.

"Yeah? where to?" the other woman said.

"Nowhere" Lilith intervened. "We got dead ones in the halls? Free security. Those assholes get here before our people, the cold bloods will buy us some time."

Donnie and Paula worked to wrap up his bite.

"Woah, hey, what are you doing?" Lilith asked loudly. Everyone looked up at her.

Paula paused, confused, "We're wrapping his arm... so he doesn't bleed out?"

"It's not a stab wound or a bullet hole, it's a bite. Who nows how long we're gonna be in here? I'm not gonna wait around in here with a ticking time bomb like him next to me, and I hope none of y'all are dumb enough to do that either."

"You can't just leave me to die!" Donnie exclaimed.

"I'm not. I'm gonna kill you right now-"

Michelle, the dark-haired savior jumped forward in protest, shielding her friend. "Please don't."

Lilith looked at her with an "Are you serious?" type of look. She glanced around at everyone before sighing, "Fine, but I'm not burying you all."

When they all got quieter, they noticed Carol having a panic attack. She leaned her head against the wall, hyperventilating. Paula groaned, looking at her annoyed, "Shut up!"

"Ok, now hold on." Lilith started, "don't do that, Paula. We don't know, something could be terribly wrong," she smirked slightly.

There it was—the notorious Smith humor, mocking people at their very lowest. The words coming from her mouth completely juxtaposed the cold tone in her voice and the amused expression on her face.

Lilith didn't always take pleasure in the tormenting of others, and maybe pleasure was the wrong word for it. Regardless, she didn't shy away from exhibiting this obnoxious attitude around those in pain. She just couldn't pin point when the habit started.

Molly, the oldest savior there, looked at Carol, "Honey, you need to take some Yoga breaths and calm your ass down."

Lilith crouched down in front of Carol. "Hey sweetheart, You don't look so good." She stayed silent for a couple more seconds before sighing and taking off the woman's gag. She heard a gun click behind her, like the safety coming off, and turned to see Michelle aiming at Carol, "Woah there, princess peach, what in the hell do you think you're doing? We do not do that unless it's absolutely necessary. You know this." Michelle hesitated before putting her gun down. Lilith turned back to Carol, "What are you so afraid of anyway? Are you actually afraid to die?" she chuckled in disbelief, "All this, and you're scared of getting your ticket punched."

Carol finally caught her breath before looking at the teen, "It doesn't matter what happens to me. Just don't hurt Maggie. Don't hurt the baby."

"Ahhh," Lilith made a sound of realization before standing up and turning to smirk at Maggie, "You got a bun in the oven."

Donnie voiced his denial, "She doesn't look it!"

"I'm only two months, I think," Maggie, whose gag had been removed by Michelle, responded.

"You're some kind of stupid getting knocked at a time like this," Paula remarked with clear judgement. Maggie scoffed, almost amused. "You think that's funny?" Paula asked.

"When was it ever smart to get knocked up?" Maggie reasoned, "Women used to just die in childbirth. And they always thought the world was gonna end. Living through it, why would you just give up?"

"But are you gonna live through it?" Paula smirked, "Anyway, that's cute. Babies are the point, children are our future. Making bite sized snacks for the dead." She taunted, "The point is to stay standing."

"No," Maggie replied, "Walkers do that. I'm choosing something."

"That's right," Lilith interjected into the conversation. "You are. You did."

Paula left the room and Molly lit a cigarette.

"The baby," Carol pleaded, asking her to put it out. Molly just side-glanced at her before laughing and coughing from the smoke.

"Honey, in case you haven't noticed, you've got bigger problems than a little second hand smoke."

"Molls," Michelle warned.

"What?"

Lilith glared at the older woman, "Come on, Nana. Put it out, why don't you."

Molly sighed and threw the cigarette to the floor, stepping on it. "Y'all are worse than a bunch of evangelical second graders," she complained.

"Oh, please" Lilith rolled her eyes. Molly coughed her lungs out, metaphorically and somewhat literally, into a white rag.

"Those things'll kill you," Carol added.

Molly gave her a pointed look before showing her the bloody handkerchief in her hand, "They already have. I'm a dead woman walking. Which puts us in exactly the same boat."

The coughing continued as Lilith exhaled in frustration, choosing to lose herself in her thoughts again.

What have these idiots dragged me into?

~~~
Word Count: 2602

a/n

Hey y'all! so I'm unbelievably excited for this story. I'm so attached to Lilith, I've been working on her as a character for a while now and I feel like she's my baby.

I hope you like the story so far! Just a little hint of what's to come: the line-up WILL be included so just a trigger warning. Also you might not like Lilith for a little while. This story isn't anti-negan, but it isn't completely pro-negan either. There are going to be moments where Lilith takes his side in ways you may not like, but I hope you stick with her.

If you want to follow along with the story, this first chapter is based off 6x13 "The Same Boat"

More to come soon!

- Chloe <3

[ EDIT - SEPT 24, 2024]

heyyy I'm editing this book from the beginning before i upload the next chapter.

i was too desperate for people to like Lilith right out the gate when i first wrote it, but she's literally a villain guys so im correcting that.

so in this rewrite the story will remain the same but characterization is changing a bit because Lilith is now much colder and somewhat brainwashed by savior-ism and her dad's philosophy

this is for me cause it's my book and my character so take it or leave it—this is what ur gonna get tho!

byeeee