Chapter 013

Jake Blackwood

Once in the car, I pulled out of her driveway and began driving to our destination, where she had yet to ask. Don Toliver music was playing softly on the radio. We were both in comfortable silence just listening to his lyrics. I did however noticed she kept glancing over to me as did I.

"You're starring Arielle," I decided to say breaking the silence and stopping at a red light giving me the chance to see her clearly. "You have tattoos," she said not sorry she was starring at me. I chuckled as I pressed the gas once the light turned green "I do indeed Arielle thank you for noticing," I responded smiling at her "I never knew or pictured you to have any or even thought you liked them," she said reaching for my right hand that was resting on the center counsel and gently ran her fingers over my eagle tattoo. "Believe it or not I always wanted a tattoo," she said as she continued to trace the tattoo "but I'm terrified of needles never liked them and never will,"

I turned my face to her with both eyebrows raised indicating I was surprised "don't look so surprised they're cute, they can symbolize something and be meaningful to one," she responded dropping her hand from my arm onto her lap. "The pain isn't so bad depending on where you actually want the tattoo," I said pulling into the parking lot "there are certain areas you barely feel anything, and kid you not I actually fell asleep once on the chair," I told her finally parking at an empty space. I turned the car off and quickly walked to the passenger side to open the door for her. "Thank you," she said getting out. "Which tattoo hurt the most?" She asked as she glanced down at both my arms taking them all in before we started walking. "I guess I have to say stomach piece and my chest piece" I said glancing down at her "wait there's more?" She asked shocked again and this made me laugh "yeah I have a few more on my body," "can I see them?" She asked stopping in place making me stop along with her also making others walking in the same direction go around us "maybe when we're alone in not such a public place" I offered. "Of course yeah I get it, totally understand," she responded quickly while blood rushed to her cheeks giving them some color, she was embarrassed. We kept walking towards the event and with each step we took the music got louder.

"This is beautiful," she said glancing around at all the twinkling lights that have been set up lightening the path for us to walk in, on one side of the park the rides have been set up, at another part of it there were stands where people were selling food, clothes, jewelry, painting, and at another part the hot air balloons were set up along with lanterns ready for people to get ahold of them and let them go into the sky.

"Pick where you will like to go first," I asked her and she quickly responded "the hot air balloons," she said eagerly and that is where we went after I paid the admission fee. She did not smile but by the way, she couldn't stay still and I knew she was excited but also nervous.

☻ ☹

After 20 minutes or so waiting in line with Arielle talking about what we should do next, it was our turn to hop on to the hot air balloon for our short trip above. I felt her hand tug my own and I lowered my head to her as she raised herself on her tippy toes "I'm really scared, I didn't think it through, this is so dangerous," she said speaking lowly as she stared at the man operating our ride looking extremely bored sucking on a lollypop "I am petrified myself, if you want we can leave, we don't have to do this," I offered, crossing my fingers she will want to turn and walk in the other direction but instead it looked like she battled with herself before she placed her hand in mine and led us into the balloon. "We're going to do this, even if it might kill us," she said whispering the last part to herself mostly. And just like that within minutes, we were in the sky watching our town from above.

"Everything looks so small from up here," she whispered as she inched closer to the edge and I followed her suit "like every problem I had down there stayed down there, it makes me feel free and oddly safe," thankfully the operation had his earbuds in kept is focus on the balloon giving us space to talk freely. "And weirdly enough I feel so much closer to my dad up here than down there, I haven't been able to sense him in such a long time,"

My heart broke for her, the ache in her heart for her father was still there, it wasn't healed.

I wrapped my arm around her and gently squeezed her shoulder as I let her continue to get things out her chest, she needed this, she needed to let it all out. "I barely remember how his voice sounded like, and every day that passes by I seem to forget a little bit more of him. I can't remember my dad, the images I had of him are slowly fading away. What type of daughter does that make me? " She asked turning her head towards me letting me see the tears that are threatening to spill.

"Arielle, that does not make you a bad daughter, it happens to all of us who loses someone close to us. In some sick cruel way, this allows more room for more events in our lives, we only tend to remember those significant events when they were here, when we were truly the happiest. Your dad will forever be by your side guiding your path, he will always light the path you are meant to go on. What you've been going through he has been there all along trying to guide you and help you. Don't knock yourself down by saying you're a bad daughter. Life isn't always fair to us Arielle, even if we are one of the good ones. Sometimes we have to go through hardships to really push us to what we were destined to be in life. And although we might not agree with the way our lesson is taught to us we just have to stick it through and hope we get through it and come out happy in the end. You are a great daughter, your father was able to witness that from down there and now he gets to witness it front row seat from above. He will always share that number one fan spot with your mom, no matter where he is." I told her as she hugged me tighter and continued to look at the city below us. I placed a kiss on her forehead.

I was once in her shoes. Losing my sister affected my whole entire family. It changes you as a person. Especially when that loved one takes their own life. It makes you question every living moment with them. Did they give you any signs that you missed? When was it that they started to change? Could you have helped them get better? But at one point in life you must learn to accept the fact that they are gone, that you have to move on and live your life or you will forever be stuck in that same place.

The hot air ballon ride was a smooth ride and after that we rode the swings and some of the small unstable rides that were set up on the ground. You know the usual risky rides that are in festivals. We shared a funnel cake, more like I devoured the whole thing and Arielle had a few bites and mostly had some of the Dr. Pepper we were sharing. I bought us matching amethyst bracelets that help the mind remove any negative thoughts, promote healthy and healing choices, and serves as protection. I had won her a plushy from of those basketball throwing games. And we walked until the staff was slowly cleaning up and shutting down rides as the fair was closing for the night.

☻ ☹

I told Arielle to wait underneath the fairy lights near the entrance that were still on as I ran to my car to gather the poster I made and the flowers I had hidden in the back seat in a small bucket with a small amount of water my mom advised me to do so they can last longer while we were hanging out in the festival. I was building up the courage to ask her. She is most likely going to reject me as prom is not her scene but I truly think she will later regret not going to prom. I think she is getting to a better place slowly but surely and I know deep down she has had a few step backs that she has kept from me but she has overall done better with me than she has done alone without any of her close friends or mom realizing how badly she's been hurting. I ran back to the same spot I left Arielle in and see her admiring the lights.

I position myself behind her "so Arielle, as you know prom is around the corner and I know it may not be your scene but it's going to be a special night for all of us. I was wondering if you would do me the honor lighting up my night at prom by being my prom date?" I asked her revealing the the mini poster board I had made and holding up the pink carnations and red roses bouquet I had put together at the flower shop.

I can tell I had taken her by surprise by asking her to prom. I could tell by the look on her face she was contemplating her choices either stay at home and watch Netflix all day while your thoughts run wild or dress up for a night and be care free and forget about your problems you have going on in your personal life just for a few hours. I see Arielle crack a smile as she looked at the poster and the flowers. She stepped towards me and grabbed the flowers out of my hand "I love carnations, they are one of my favorite flowers. Jake I would be honored to light up your night at prom." I can feel my lips tug upward and before I know it I was rocking a wide smile. I pulled Arielle towards me giving her a hug. I feel her slowly wrap one of her arms around my neck and  holding the flowers in her other  hand close to her body.

☻ ☹

I drove Arielle back to her house and walked her to her front door and gave her a hug goodbye. "Thank you for an amazing night Jake. I really enjoyed our conversations and I would love to do this again. Thank you as well for asking me to prom. I honestly didn't expect it. It took me by surprise but in a good way, so thank you." She said hugging me tighter. "No need to thank me Arielle I should be the one thanking you for making my night. Go on ahead and get settled in. We'll talk soon okay." I said and she nodded her head and gave me a tighter hug.

Arielle Nelson you didn't know it yet but tonight was the first of many nights that was gonna be unforgettable for the both of us. The best was yet to come. I can't wait to see you shine to your fullest potential. You're a beautiful ruby in the making.

☻ ☹

Authors Note

Hey guys how have y'all been? I know I disappeared again but I've been super busy with school and life but hopefully I'll be done next semester and have a better idea on what I want to do with my life and give me enough time to finally finish these unfinished books.

Life has been an overall crazy and bumpy ride for me. I wish some things turned out differently but to get where I want to be in life I have to go through certain paths. I've been struggling a lot lately with my mental and physical health as well. Emphasis on both. I honestly can't pinpoint what triggered me but something did. Stress with work, school, family, and other relationships maybe?

I've been struggling as well with my body image a lot more now than when I was in middle and high school. The stress and my eating habits caused me to gain weight. I've tried talking to a close friend and my mom but they just don't understand and brush me off and tell me to stop thinking that way, that I look fine or if I want to change just lose the weight. So now I just keep my thoughts in my head and sometimes write them out. So I guess that's kind of the reason I wrote this book and when I'm feeling low I tend to start writing in it again. Which is far from healthy but I will get overcome it. I started new eating habits and started working out and it makes feel better. But when I look in the mirror the happy feeling I had before is all gone.