So I guess I'm back?!?
Kinda I don't know...

We are just going to ignore the fact that I've been gone for almost a full year life really came at me at full swing and fucked me up. But hey I'm still alive and look at me writing again!

Here's chapter 10 enjoy!

Chapter 010

Arielle Nelson

Being seated between your all-time crush and the guy who knows about your secret disorder is honestly the most uncomfortable situation any individual can find themselves in. Next to David was Heather with David's arm hanging off her shoulder. I have totally forgotten about the movie by now. At least David and Heather were not shoving their tongues down each other's mouth.

If anyone would've walked in they would've thought we were having our usual movie night among friends but little would they know.

"David, why don't you order a Hawaiian and cheese pizza and maybe some wings?" Heather asked. "Oh yes cheese pizza and some wings sound so good bro," Jake said stretching his arms and yawning loudly "I'll pitch in," he added. David got up and left the room to order the pizza and quickly returned as the movie was ending.

Great now I have to socialize as if watching the movie wasn't bad enough

"Ok so what now?" I asked wrapping the blanket closer to my body. "Let's play some board games like old times!" Heather said loudly getting up from her spot and to the closet located in the living room and pulled out all the board games I have collected throughout the years.

"Let's play some cards, let's play uno!" Jake said as he saw Heather pull them out from the closet.

Half an hour went by when the pizza finally arrived and I got the drinks settled in the living room. Everyone got their slices of pizza except me, like usual.

I saw David and Heather munching on their pizza as they watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I felt Jake's eyes on me but I didn't dare to look up. I knew if I did my eyes will give it away, I fell back into my old ways. Everything was finally looking up, I was eating I was doing good, I was making progress.

Not anymore

I'm back to square one

Just where I started

I felt a hand grab mine and pulled me up making the blanket fall onto the couch and dragged me to the kitchen. "You're not eating again," Jake stated quietly he knew the answer already he didn't need to ask. "I thought you were doing ok. I'm out of the picture for a couple of days and you go back to your old ways Arielle," Jake said in a hushed tone. I still haven't looked up to see his face but I can already picture the disappointment on his face.

I let him down

I let myself down

I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. "Arielle please look at me, please," Jake pleaded. I didn't move though I kept looking down. "Please Arielle," I can hear the pain in his voice.

I'm a failure

I'm a disappointment

I'm a waste of living space

I don't deserve being here

I felt him place his fingers on my chin and lift my head up so I can finally meet his eyes that held so much sadness and made me tear up more.

"Please don't cry Arielle, please. I'm going to help you get better ok. I promise you're going to be ok,"

Don't make promises you can't keep Jake

I felt him pull me into a tight hug and I instantly wrapped my hands around him.

Why had I let myself get so far into this sickness?

The pills were only supposed to help me lose a few pounds and I was going to be done.

What happened to that?

"Um is everything ok in here?" David's voice said as he entered the kitchen. I pulled away from Jakes hug and quickly wiped my tears with my sleeves before turning to face David. "Yeah everything's ok David," I told him giving him a closed-lip smile.

"Yeah, dude everything's good here. What's up?" Jake said walking closer to me. "Heather and I are going to call it a night she has to be home by 12. Now that she has a man she has a curfew. It kinda sucks but I have to follow her parents orders," Heather walked into the kitchen "thank you, Arielle, I think I can speak for all, tonight was so much fun just a chill night with our close friends," She gave Jake and I a hug and David and her both left hand in hand.

"I'm sorry Jake, I know it doesn't mean anything to you now because it's clear to see I slipped up again but I'm sorry I've made you upset," I told him before turning around so he wouldn't see me cry again.

I'm a mess

A sad excuse of a mess

I felt his hand wrap around mine again and he pulled to his chest and held me there as I unleashed my tears. It felt good to let them out. He walked us towards the couch in the living room that has been cleaned up, the games were put back in the closet and the remaining pizza box was shut on the table.

"Do you want to try a few bites?" He asked passing me a water bottle. I took a couple of minutes before responding, I have to do this not just for his sake but for mine as well. "Yes," I said quietly.

☻ ☹

A couple of days have gone by since the movie night and Jake has not left my side. He was always by my side, he never left he brought me school lunches since he loved trying out new meals, I was the food tester. We talked about so many different topics and gotten to know each other on a deeper level. We were doing good, but that all ended when he asked me the question I dreaded "what caused you to stop eating? What triggered you to do this?"

Everything was going good

But too much of a good thing won't be good for long

Everything good will always come to an end

"It's a really sensitive topic for me to talk about Jake," I told him as I placed the food container back into the bag he brought it in. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it. It happened a while ago but I haven't accepted yet, it's something that I have to remember for the rest of my life," I told him.

"Whenever you feel like you're ready I'll be here Arielle," he told me as he helped me up from the bleachers and walked me back to class.

"I'll see you later Arielle, don't think of me too much," he said sending me a wink "I'll try my best not to, it's going to be so hard," I said giving him a small smile before I walked into class. I let out a chuckle and walked to my seat the small smile on my face did not leave.

"Who has you smiling so big Arielle?" Heather said as I took my seat next to her. "Oh no one," I told her shrugging my shoulders. "Yeah, right I haven't seen you smile so hard. Jake has really made a positive impact on your life. Do you like him?" She asked.

Do I like him?

"Yeah he's a cool guy," I told her not wanting to make that conversation long.

He is a nice caring guy, it shows that he really cares about me and my health. He was able to see I was bringing harm to my body. He was the first to notice I wasn't ok straight off the bat. My own close friends and mom didn't notice.

"You know what I mean Arielle, do you think you will want to be more than just friends with him. It's about time you finally get into a relationship and be happy and go on dates. And think of all the cute double dates we can go on!" She exclaimed.

Double dates with David there?

Yeah no that's not for me

Will I ever be over David?

Will I ever be in a relationship and be happy?

Only the Lord knows

Authors Note

Here's chapter 10 I'm so sorry it's a short chapter but I wanted to finally put something out there for you guys so I wrote this in a day whenever I had the chance to write.

I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'm sorry for the wait. I hope to update this book soon!

Comment your thoughts and vote, please!

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ShamelessChels