"Hongjoong, please don't tell me we're already back to this," Yunho said with a sigh as he knocked on the door to the Captain's Quarters. They had finally gotten Hongjoong out the night before but he had already missed breakfast.

"Hon-. Oh," Yunho cut himself off softly as the door opened.

"Sorry, I've been trying to fix up my room. I'm not avoiding everyone, I promise," Hongjoong said sheepishly. Yunho glanced behind Hongjoong to see that his room indeed seemed to be clean, cleaner than how it sounded like it would look.

"Well, you aren't completely lying but you're definitely avoiding us," Yunho said with a raised eyebrow. Hongjoong sighed and deflated slightly, his hand loosening from it's hold on the door.

"I hurt Sannie, Yunho. How am I supposed to face the others," Hongjoong said quietly.

"You're facing me right now," Yunho said with a shrug.

"I know. But I don't know how you forgave me that easily," Hongjoong said, shaking his head.

"Oh I didn't. I'm pissed with you for hurting him but it was an accident and accidents happened. I mean Yeosang almost killed Wooyoung by accident, this is just a different kind of accident," Yunho said.

"I choked him Yunho. M-My hands were around his neck," Hongjoong said shakily.

"Would you like to come see him," Yunho asked, making Hongjoong frown immediately.

"No, I can't. Wooyoung and Yeosang probably won't leave his side and they'll be furious with me," Hongjoong said, shaking his head quickly.

"You don't know unless you try. We've missed you these past weeks. I think deep down, everyone knows it was an accident, that you would never just hurt one of us. We all miss you man," Yunho said with a sigh.

"Yeosang punched me Yunho. Yeosang of all people punched me for what I did. That's how bad I messed up," Hongjoong said quietly.

"I think it was just a build up of emotions for him Joong. He needed to vent it out and you just happened to be the one who tipped him over the edge," Yunho said with a shrug.

"I hurt his childhood friend? San had a seizure Yunho, how are you honestly ok about this," Hongjoong asked in frustration.

"Because I talked to San and I listened. He wants a hug by the way. He wanted one this morning but you didn't come out and now he's scared he's messed everything up because of what happened," Yunho informed him.

"He was the one who got hurt. How on earth is that his fault," Hongjoong said in annoyance. San's habit of blaming himself for ever little thing that happens is really starting to get exhausting. He needs to give himself a break.

"He said he wanted a hug from me this morning," he added softly.

"Yes, he did. He hasn't had a seizure since that first one but he's tired and Yeosang is keeping him in bed until tomorrow just in case," Yunho said.

"Will Wooyoung or Yeosang kill me if I go in there and give him a hug. You know, cos Sangie said to stay away from him," Hongjoong asked nervously.

"No, they won't. It was more a spur of the moment thing with his anger," Yunho said. Hongjoong sighed but nodded and walked away from Yunho. He was nervous but he walked below deck and knocked on the door to San's room.

"You do realise you guys don't need to knock before coming in." Hongjoong winced when he heard Wooyoung call out, realising he probably wouldn't be saying that if he knew it was him at the door. He drew in another deep breath before grabbing the handle and opening the door. He slowly stepped inside, immediately freezing as he saw the glares coming from both Wooyoung and Yeosang on either side of San's bed.

"Hongjoong," San gasped, sitting up slightly with wide eyes.

"I um. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you. And it was my fault, not yours. Yunho said you were worried but I'm not going seclude myself again, even if everyone hates me right now," Hongjoong said before turning around to leave.

"Hongjoong," San yelled out quickly, trying to sit up to follow him. He was stopped quickly by Yeosang who placed his hand on his chest to stop him. San frowned and slapped his hand away before slipping out of bed.

"San, get back in bed," Wooyoung yelped as he jumped up quickly from his seat. Hongjoong turned around when he heard the younger and quickly hurried back to San who was a couple of steps from the bed.

"What are you doing? You had a seizure yesterday," he said quickly.

"You were running off," San said.

"No, I was giving you space. I hurt you Sannie, badly," Hongjoong said with a frown.

"It was an accident," San said with a frown.

"That doesn-."

"Wooyoung, stay out of it," San snapped.

"I appreciate you two looking out for me but do you honestly think that Hongjoong, Hongjoong of all people would knowingly do anything to hurt me? This is the same person that yelled at the entire crew for leaving me alone when I was drunk. The same person that once willingly let someone stab him to make sure I was let go and safe," San said with a frown as he turned to the other two in the room. Both Wooyoung and Yeosang looked down guiltily and Hongjoong shook his head.

"San, you can't blame them. I choked you and I caused you to have a seizure," Hongjoong said as he grabbed San's wrist and turned the younger around to face him.

"It doesn't matter if I didn't want to, I still did. No matter how much it pains me to even think about doing something like that, I still did it. I still hurt you," Hongjoong said sadly as his hand slowly slid from San's wrist and dropped down.

"It was an accident Hongjoong. You weren't yourself and we all know that. You, you've been separated from your other half and that has taken a toll on you. We can grumble all we want about not having our Captain lately but when it comes down to it, we have know idea how you're feeling. We've never been put in your shoes but I know, had any of us been in that position with someone who was basically a part of us, we would be just as bad if not worse," San said, his eyes flicking between Yeosang and Wooyoung. Yeosang deflated at that, knowing San was right. He's their medic but he struggles to think straight when San and Wooyoung are hurt. If they were to be taken from him so brutally in what was supposed to be their happiest day alive, he would shut down, go catatonic. He would lose himself, even if he still had one of them, he would struggle to see the light.

"I'm sorry for punching you. Well no, I'm not really. But I forgive you, not just for Sannie, for being gone for so long. No, that's coming out wrong, I just-." Yeosang cut himself off and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I understand what you're trying to say Yeosang, and I appreciate it. You may not think your forgiveness is needed but it is. It doesn't matter if you think I have an excuse for what has happened, I still left you guys," Hongjoong said softly.

"I think we need a meeting. We need to talk about everything and we need to get on the same page so we can find Seonghwa and bring him back home. We've gotten this far in what we do because we all trust each other, and we work well together. If we find him, we need to be able to work together," Wooyoung said. The if felt heavy in the sentence and Hongjoong sucked in a breath. It really was an if. If they get him back. There's no guarantee he'll even be alive.

"When we find him. We're going to get him back," San said quietly, his hand slipping into Hongjoong's to squeeze it softly. Hongjoong drew in a shaky breath and nodded, pushing the image of Seonghwa dead from his mind.

"I'll go get everyone above deck," Hongjoong said with a sigh. He let go of San's hand and left the room, going above deck and ringing the bell after a bit of hesitation. Yunho was already by the helm so Hongjoong walked over there, with Wooyoung, Yeosang and San trailing behind him. The other two arrived a couple of minutes later. Hongjoong was ready for the hostility from them as well but they didn't so much emotion, more just seeming confused. Jongho glanced over at San, moving closer to him and instinctively wrapping an arm around his waist for support. He was still unsettled from witnessing San fall into a seizure and he hadn't had the chance to spend much time with him after he woke up. San smiled softly and relaxed against him, dropping his head onto Jongho's shoulder.

"Um, so I realise we have a lot to talk about but first of all I'd just like to apologise," Hongjoong said, starting off the conversation.

"For what," Mingi asked. Hongjoong frowned in confusion and rose an eyebrow.

"What do you mean for what, I'd say it's pretty obvious," Hongjoong said slowly.

"Well yeah, I know what I want you apologising for but do you actually know what it is," Mingi said. Hongjoong nodded at that, understanding what Mingi was saying.

"I'm your Captain, it's my job to-."

"No. Right away you're way off," Mingi cut in, shaking his head.

"I don't understand," Hongjoong said quietly, his hand fiddling nervously.

"It's got nothing to do with you being Captain and the unrealistic expectations you put on yourself all the time. We all understand Hongjoong, we understand how much this has hurt you. I'm not trying to speak for everyone but I'm pretty sure we're all thinking along the same lines. We don't care that you weren't doing all of your Captain duties, we understand that would have been hard for you. But you shut us out Hongjoong. You yelled at us when we tried to help and you secluded yourself in your room for weeks. We needed you, yes, but it was more so that we needed to know you were ok. We needed to be able to be there for you, to help you through your grief. We lost Seonghwa too Hongjoong, we all love him so much. He isn't our other half, we know that but we still love him so much. We've been trying to help you but you wouldn't let us. Sure, we needed some guidance but we've managed just fine. You didn't have to push away your grief and be a Captain, we just needed you to let us in," Mingi said. They just needed to know Hongjoong was going to be ok, to help him with his physical needs so he could process his emotional grief. Hongjoong was shocked at Mingi's words and didn't know what to say in return. He glanced around at the others, trying to gauge how they were reacting to what Mingi said but no one was bringing up any protests.

"He's right you know. As much as it would be nice to have our Captain with us, it's not something we needed to have and we already understood that it would take time for you. I'm fine doing what I'm doing and stepping up to guide everyone again while you come to terms with things. We just needed to know you were going to be ok," Yunho said quietly as he glanced back from the helm. Hongjoong's voice got stuck in his throat and he cleared it quickly as he fought back tears. He never wanted this to happen. He never wanted to worry his boys so much.

"I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully. He ducked his head down to stare at the deck as the tears fell down his cheeks, not wanting the others to see him cry after he had already been so weak for so long. He jolted as he felt arms wrap around him, instinctively going to pull away but the arms only tightened. Wooyoung pouted as he hugged the small Captain, his heart hurting as the sound of his sniffles as Hongjoong turned into his embrace. He glanced over at the others who were all standing there frozen and glared at them, immediately kicking everyone into action but Yeosang and Yunho. Yunho who was still steering the ship and Yeosang who was still conflicted about what had happened with San the previous day. He knew Hongjoong would never dream of hurting any of them and that the Captain would be punishing himself more than any of the others could but San still got hurt. It didn't take away the bruises around San's neck, didn't get rid of the images of San on the floor unconscious and seizing that were burned into his brain. Hongjoong started to sob once he felt more arms wrap around his body, unable to stop himself. He'd cried many times since Seonghwa was taken but that was in pain and despair at losing his other half. This time it was in relief of knowing he still had his family with him, they were going to do everything to get Seonghwa back, they were here to support him. Once the first sobs slipped out, the rest came full force and he couldn't stop himself. Yeosang's heart broke at the sounds coming from Hongjoong and he watched as the others gently lowered him down to sit on the deck before they sat down as well and attached themselves to him.

Hongjoong's sobs got louder, his eyes closed and face scrunched up as he clung desperately to San, his arms wrapped around the youngers waist. It finally broke Yeosang and he shuffled over, squeezing in behind Hongjoong and the side of the ship, hugging him softly. He felt a hand slip into his and he glanced up to see it was San who was crying but gave him a watery smile. Yeosang just shot him a brief one back before turning his attention back to Hongjoong. They stayed like that for a while, just holding Hongjoong until the sobs turned into sniffles and then the sniffles died down so he was just cuddled up between all of them.

"I'm sorry," he choked out eventually.

"We know," Jongho said softly.

"I shouldn't have closed off like that. I shouldn't have abandoned you all," Hongjoong said.

"You're right, you shouldn't have closed us out but that's in the past ok. We forgive you and we're ready to move on. Let this be a lesson to everyone in future, a reminder that through all the hardships, we will always have each other to lean on," Mingi said. Hongjoong chuckled weakly and reached out his hands, slipping it into Mingi's to hold tightly.

"When did you get so responsible," he asked. Mingi gasped and placed his free hand on his chest in shock.

"How dare you. I'll have you know I have always been very responsible," he said with a huff as he gave Hongjoong's hand a gentle squeeze.

"At least try and lie about something more believable," Yunho said as he glanced back at the puppy pile.

"Ok fine, I have always been more responsible than Wooyoung," Mingi said.

"I'm sorry, how did I come into this," Wooyoung cried out indignantly.

"You existed and you're an easier target than me," Mingi said with a shrug.

"Bitch," Wooyoung gasped, drawing out the word.

"Dad, Wooyoungie just called me a bitch," Mingi said, turning to Hongjoong quickly.

"Because you are one," Wooyoung grumbled.

"Sorry baby, Mingi's right, you aren't the most responsible person. But we love you anyway," San said, leaning over to kiss Wooyoung's cheek. Wooyoung melted at that and flopped his body to the left so it was leaning on San. Hongjoong tilted his head curiously, his eyes analysing the movements between the two boys. Wooyoung and San have always been close but their actions seemed different, more relaxed, fluid, like their bodies just moved on instinct to embrace each other. San glanced back to Hongjoong to make sure he was ok that they were joking around but he froze slightly when he noticed the way Hongjoong was watching him and Wooyoung. It's not like they're tried hard to hide their relationship but they don't flash it about and now probably isn't the time to start flaunting it around.

"You're still an idiot," he said, shoving Wooyoung off though it was gentle.

"Dad, Wooyoung still called me a bitch," Mingi said. Wooyoung pouted but looked to Hongjoong and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the fondness in the Captain's gaze as he watched him. Wooyoung felt his eyes tear up and he quickly pulled away from San, crawling between the others so he could climb onto Hongjoong's lap. He sat down in it, wrapping his legs around Hongjoong's waist and his arms over his neck. He cuddled close to the older and dropped his head down to rest on Hongjoong's chest. He had missed Hongjoong so much over the past weeks and having him smiling in front of him, even if there was still pain in his eyes, was such a relief. Hongjoong let go of Mingi's hand so he could wrap his arms tightly around Wooyoung's waist, placing his palms flat on Wooyoung's back, holding him as close and as tight as he could without letting him go.

"I missed you," Wooyoung whispered and Hongjoong sighed.

"I know. I know and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all of you. I'm sorry for hurting you all by not being there and I'm sorry for hurting you San," Hongjoong said, looking over to San who gave him a gentle smile.

"It's ok. It hurt and there's some bruising but I'm going to be ok. You had no idea what you were doing, we all know that," San replied quickly.

"As much as I love the fact that I have you guys with me and we're all hugging out, we need to talk about business," Hongjoong said with a sigh.

"Can we stay cuddled up while we talk, you're comfortable," Wooyoung asked.

"Yeah, we can. We can just talk like how we are right now. Is everyone ok to talk about this now," Hongjoong asked, receiving nods in return. Wooyoung turned in Hongjoong's lap so he was sitting with his back to the others chest, Hongjoong's arms still wrapped loosely around his waist.

"Are you ok to talk about this," Jongho asked gently.

"Yeah, I need to know what's happening," Hongjoong replied with a nod.

"Well first of all, we don't know why Seonghwa was taken. Our best guess is they were going after you as the Pirate King but knew despite the advantage of surprise, they were still outnumbered so they took the closest person they knew you would go after which was Seonghwa. Or maybe they knew he was your kryptonite, we just don't know," Mingi said with a sigh. Wooyoung felt Hongjoong tense and he squeezed his hands for support. He couldn't imagine how Hongjoong would feeling knowing someone he loved so much was taken and hurt because of him.

"We know the crew is called Eyun, which is Chinese for-."

"Doom," Hongjoong said with a nod, his eyes darkening slightly in anger.

"You know them," San asked quietly.

"Not really but I've heard about them. Their Captain is called Lee Jonghoon or something. Supposed to be a real piece of work. God, Seonghwa," Hongjoong groaned as he dropped his forehead to rest on Wooyoung's back, his breathing picking up slightly.

"We're going to get him back," Yeosang said gently as he rested his hand on Hongjoong's shoulder and squeezed it softly. Hongjoong drew in a deep breath to compose himself and nodded for the others to continue.

"We've been following their trail since we left the island but we were already a week behind. I think we've been catching up though. We were last told they were headed to a port up north to Fitzroy which is where we're heading now," Yunho said.

"How far away are we," Hongjoong asked.

"Only a day or two. When we get there, we can ask around and figure out where they went after," Yunho replied.

"What if it's a trap and they're trying to lure us somewhere, knowing we would follow," Hongjoong asked.

"We were considering something like that but we had some injuries that needed time to recover. It's likely that they assumed we'd take longer to recover but we left as soon as everyone was conscious," San explained.

"I'd say that would be a pretty fair assumption. You guys have been doing really well," Hongjoong praised.

"It's Yunho really, he took control of the situation," Wooyoung said. Hongjoong glanced up at Yunho and gave him a nod of approval, making his cheeks tint slightly.

"Just trying to look after mum," he said with a shrug, making Hongjoong groan.

"You guys are never going to stop that are you," he said with a sigh.

"Not when you called us your kids in your vo-." Wooyoung trailed off worriedly as he realised what he was reminding Hongjoong of.

"It's ok," Hongjoong said, patting his stomach lightly.

"Is there anything else I need to know," he asked the others.

"No, not really. Just that we're going to find him and we're going to make them pay for hurting him," Jongho said firmly.

"Do you um, do you think he's even still alive? What if he was the one they were after all along," Hongjoong asked quietly.

"He's going to be alive. We're going to find and we're going to save him. No matter what he goes through on that ship, we are going to get him back and we're going to help him through it," Yeosang said. Hongjoong nodded and reached back, tugging Yeosang closer for more comfort. The others all took this as a sign of the serious talk being over and quickly moved forward to form the cuddle pile once again. Hongjoong sighed and let his eyes slip closed as he felt his boys all around him. They've got two days of this barely there peace before they need to continue tracking this ship and this time, he's going to be there to lead them like a true Captain should. 

A/N

Ok, so not a very long chapter compared to my usual and not much excitement happened in this one, especially for how long it's been since I last updated. I've been pretty busy and I struggled to think of what to write in this Chapter to make it a little longer as it's a filler chapter before the real action starts. 

But here is Chapter 14 everyone and I hope you still enjoyed it and thank you for reading.

Let me know your favourite parts in this chapter